Thank you for your kind words. I'm so honoured to have you as my readers.
And yes, you've guessed correctly: the words proceeding the actual chapter belong to Erik.
All I ever wanted was her. And it killed me to know that she would never be mine.
{Christine}
April this year is quite warm so far, yet the nights are still chilly. As soon as I enter my flat, I toss my things aside and prepare myself my favourite herbs. The hot drink instantly makes me feel better.
After a while I take a bath and then lie down in my bed. It has been so long since I last spent the night here.
It feels almost weird.
I do not know why.
Despite my efforts, I cannot fall asleep. I spend hours just staring at the dark ceiling and thinking about everything and nothing.
At some point I realise something important.
I like being alone. I do not spend my evenings with the ballet girls; I prefer to read a book, or knit while singing some Swedish folk songs. It gives me time to think and allows me to relax.
But when I think about Meg going home with Madame Giry, Raoul going out with his family, or even Carlotta spending time with her beloved Piangi, I finally notice the difference between being alone and being lonely.
I do not fancy being lonely.
And this is what I am.
I am lonely.
Ever since my Papa died, all I have left is..
Oh, God.
All I have left is my Angel.
He has always listened. He has cared. He has comforted me. He has always been there when I needed him.
Because he is just as lonely.
When hot tears well up in my eyes, I shut them tightly.
I know exactly what I must do tomorrow.