Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne
''Etcetera, I ... ''
Gah! This is impossible. I've been at this for hours and I still haven't thought of a way how to tell Etcetera how I feel. I don't know how to talk to her ... she just has to look at me and I suddenly can't think straight.
She is just ... so lovely. Everything about her is lovely - her high-pitched giggle, her stripy fur, her smile, the way her eyes light up when she's excited and the adorable thing she does when she'd pleased with something - she gets this really big grin on her face, jumps up and down and acts like she's pawing something in front of her.
I look at my reflection in the cracked piece of glass (I finally got Tugger and Bombalurina away from it). I try to smooth down my hair and clean myself up a bit, even though I groomed myself this morning. I can't help it ... Etcetera always looks so pretty and I just want to look my best around her.
Like it matters. She hardly notices me.
Maybe that's my own fault though. I don't really talk to her, in fear of embarrassing myself. I have to plan out every single ''Hello'' and ''How are you?'' to make sure it's good enough for her. I have thought of a million different ways to start a conversation with her but I end up stuttering and stumbling over my words and I forget everything I want to say and end up looking like I don't want to talk to her.
But I do want to talk to her: I want to tell her how wonderful she is, how much I want to spend time with her, learn everything about her and above all, I want to tell her how much I love her: but those are things I'll never say to her.
The things I'll never say ...
I spotted a scrap of paper on the ground and an idea came into my mind
(This was pretty much a prequal for my story ''Dearest Etcetera'' where Admetus writes Etcetera a love-letter. I had originally planned that story as a short series but scrapped the idea because I wanted to leave Etcetera's reaction up to the reader. This is probably what the prequal would have been like)