*If you're reading this as it is posted, then I apologize for the wait. I had next to no time to sit and write. next chapter should be up on Saturday 13th
If you're reading this at your leisure and there are many more chapters after this, then I apologize for the interruption :)*
Jem was carried back to his room by Alec and Jace when he woke up, but not before telling everyone that he was okay and could walk. No one took any notice of his arguments. Tessa had started to follow when Clary had called her over.
"The Silent Brothers want to talk to you about Jem." She said quietly.
Tessa nodded and followed Clary into the hall. There stood Brother Enoch, his hood was down and his bald head covered in marks was on show. Clary left to give them some privacy.
It is most unfortunate to hear about Brother Zachariah.
"It's Jem. He's mortal now." Tessa reminded him.
He will always be Brother Zachariah to us in the Brotherhood. Tessa, will you please take me to him.
Tessa obliged and lead him to the room that she and Jem shared. Jem was lying on the bed with his eyes closed and face pale. Jace watched him from the window and Alec was next to him and was staring confusedly at the box which he held open in his hands. Tessa ran across the room.
"Neither of you two touches this. Ever. Do you understand? This can kill Shadowhunters." Tessa said snatching the box and slamming it shut.
"Then why did Magnus give some to Jem." Jace asked.
"That is none of your business." Tessa said, thickening her American accent the way she did when she wanted to sound intimidating. It worked - at least on Jace and Alec. Clary seemed unfazed as she walked in past Brother Enoch.
"It is our business." Clary said reappearing beside Brother Enoch. "If there are Downworlder giving Shadowhunters things that could kill them then it becomes Shadowhunter business."
Rest assured Shadowhunters. I have worked with Jem Carstairs on this matter before. It does not concern the Shadowhunters of New York.
Tessa breathed a sigh of relief. "Please, can you not touch this box?" Tessa repeated, setting it down on the table beside the bed.
Alec nodded but Jace didn't move. "He won't touch it either." Alec said, filling in for Jace.
"Can you not talk for me?" Jace said, his usual brooding look not fading.
Tessa heard a laugh and turned around to see Will. He was smirking at Jace as he began to tell Alec where he could stick his stele.
"Herondales. Wit and sarcasm runs in the blood don't you think?" He asked, but Tessa knew not to answer or risk sounding crazy. Tessa laid a hand on Jems arm and swallowed down a lump in her throat. "He'll be okay Tess."
"Jem?" Jem's hand twitched and Tessa grabbed it as his eyes flickered open. "You're okay,"
"Tess," he croaked and Tessa leaned in close so that he could be heard. Jace and Alec didn't know what to do with themselves and Tessa could hear them muttering behind her. "It hurts," Jem whispered and Tessa felt tears sting her eyes.
"I know. Brother Enoch is here to help you. What can I do to make it better?" She felt like she was talking to a three year old and upon remembering when Jem had said in the park she instantly felt bad.
Jem didn't seem to realise, his head had rolled to face me. His eyes were wet and his gaze unfocused. It wasn't until he moved his arm towards Tessa that she realised he wasn't looking at her, but past her, at something on the table. He tried to speak but all that came out was a croak so he gestured with his head towards the table. Tessa turned and looked at the only object there - the little silver box.
"Jem," Magnus said, stepping towards the bed and putting his long fingered hands on the bed frame, "I must tell you that you have already had a dose today."
Jems head turned to face him, "why?" he croaked and Tessa put a hand around Jem's.
"You were fitting. Your airways would have closed off if I had not acted." Magnus hung his head.
He's right James Carstairs Brother Enoch said and Jem looked at him,
"Isn't there anything you can do?" Tessa asked to the room, no one answered.
Jem gave a rasping breath and closed his eyes against the pain. He felt like all his bones were on fire. Tessa's hand on his felt cold but he could feel his own heat against it and pulled his hand away.
"Please," He said, "leave me," he opened his eyes to find that everyone had already left. Tessa was asleep in the chair beside him and it was dark outside the window. He lifted his head and struggled to sit upright. The fire in his bones had lessened and he reached across to shake Tessa's leg. She woke up with a start.
"James," she said, leaning closer to him.
"Tessa, where did everyone go?" Jem looked around the room confused and Tessa's face grew more and more concerned.
"Jem, you've been asleep for three days." Tessa saw the fear spread over Jems face.
"This is all happening too fast," Jem said, shaking his head. Asleep for three days?! "Where's the Silent Brother?"
"He worked whilst you were sleeping. He said there was nothing he could do. The cure didn't work."
"Am I going to die?" He asked, and Tessa saw tears fill his eyes.
"Jem," she said quietly,
"Am I?" He persisted.
"Not if I can do anything about it."
Tessa got up and ran across the room opening the door and allowing it to slam behind her. Jem got up slower and pulled on shorts before following her.
Tessa was walking past the kitchen before she realised that she was utterly helpless. Her breath caught in her throat and she stopped in her tracks. The tears came quick and fast and they spilled over before she could stop them. She heard Clary say her name but Tessa didn't respond. She sat down against the wall and put her head in her hands, letting the tears come.
Clary crouched beside Tessa and put a hand on her shoulder, she had seen her mother like this before - every year on her brother's birthday - but this was different. Tessa was her age but much older but Clary knew the pain she was going through for Clary had lost Jace right before her eyes and could understand how Tessa was feeling. But Jace had died quickly, Jem was dying slowly.
"Do you need anything?" Clary asked but Tessa shook her head. "Do you want me to fetch anyone?" Again, Tessa shook her head.
Footsteps came down the hall and Clary turned to see a shirtless Jem running down behind her. He was breathing hard and had to put his hands on his knees to catch his breath.
"Jem, I don't think-" Clary started but Tessa had stood up at the sound of Jem's name.
"Are you looking to kill yourself?!" Tessa shouted and Clary saw Alec poke his head out of the kitchen door before turning and waving his hands.
"Tess," Jem stood upright and Clary saw the marks on his bare chest. Some she recognised, others she didn't, but the one that shocked her the most, was the faded Parabatai mark on his left shoulder. "Tess, I'm okay. I was okay the last time. Will can explain how it was in the early days, he was there when-" He caught his breath.
Alec and Jace were now in the corridor with them, Tessa was still stood in the centre of the room crying and Clary now had her arm around her.
"You said Will." Tessa observed, "Will's dead. You know that."
Jem stood for a moment with an odd expression on his face, and then he turned to look at his reflection in the glass of the window.
Tessa put her hand on his shoulder and almost flinched at the heat radiating from him. He was staring at himself as if he'd never seen what he looked like, much less seen the faded rune on his shoulder. He placed his shaky hand on it and turned to look at Tessa. His face was emotionless and his eyes empty of life.
"Jem," Tessa said tentatively.
"Tess, I know." Jem shook his head and looked down at his hands. They were shaking like leaves in a hurricane. "I remember…"
He nodded and Maryse emerged with a Silent Brother.
Memory loss and delusions… two of the main symptoms of withdrawal,
Tessa felt tears in her eyes and Jem nodded.
"I have to have it again. Don't I?" Jem asked, looking Brother Enoch in the eyes.
The Silent Brother nodded and handed Jem the silver box. Jem took it in his hands and opened it.
"I've never seen so much in here," he said and Tessa looked in over his shoulder, "Magnus out did himself this time."
"He said yesterday that he'd been looking for a way to help you since he found you in the library." Alec said leaning against the wall, "He said that this yin fen could save your life."
"It can't, but it can prolong my life." Jem said, accepting a glass of water from Brother Enoch and putting some of the power in.
"How?" Clary asked, watching Jem's movements. Everyone looked at her in a way that said 'It's insensitive to ask' but their faces held the same desire to know. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand."
"It's alright. Only normal for you to be curious." Jem laughed, handing the box to Tessa. "When I was a child, I was forced to consume demon poison in front of my parents by means to torture them by making me delirious and start hallucinating. The Clave then rescued me from the Shanghai Institute and took me to the Silent Brothers who tried to everything to cure me, but could not fix my body's dependence on the demon poison. I became addicted to the demon blood and will die without regular doses of it, but it would only ever prolong my death. It's slowly killing me, and there is no hope of a cure. Not anymore. When things got worse and my life was close to its end, the Silent Brothers stepped in with an offer, an offer to turn me into a Silent Brother and guarantee my survival. I took it, knowing I was dying and felt terrified to meet that end. I thought myself a coward for it, but knew of cure research going on within the Silent Brothers and I was desperate. My only worry was my partner in crime, my Parabatai - William Herondale. I knew that the Parabatai bond would break and he'd think me dead, but I then realised it was for the better. When your Jace Lightwood turned up, I knew who he was but I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I may be delusional, but I'm not a fool. I know that I'm going over stuff that some of you already know, but I just cannot keep lying to the people who have taken me in. I wish to help in whatever way I can. I am fit to go out with you should any trouble arise with these vampires. This drug is killing me, but it is also saving me."
Clarys eyes were wet and she played with her hands in front of her, Tessa watched as she moved forwards in front of Jem and threw her arm around his neck, pulling him down in to the hug. Jace and Alec shared a look and when they looked back at Jem, they seemed to have a look of respect on their faces.
"I know that was a lot. I know it was heavy but-" Jem never finished his sentence because at that moment a bang as loud as cannon fire exploded though the night and the Silent Brother and Clary fell to the ground. Blood pooled from the left side of the Silent Brother and Clary's arm had a neat puncture though it. She was trapped underneath Brother Enoch and Jace was trying to pull him off her when another bang went off and almost hit Jem. Magnus materialised beside Alec and said,
"The vampires are here. And they're pissed off. So, it's time to go."
Before waving his hands and covering them all in darkness.