Hi everyone! I apoogise for the last chapter's tardiness. I know, I suck : 3 months to update? So I wanted to make it up to you by publishing this one on time lol I felt really ashamed. I hope you will like this and I will do my best to update quickly again! Cheers 3
Chapter 7 : Alea Iacta Est
"LUNA!"
After popping back into the 1990's in the middle of a Scotlandorest near Hogwarts, she had managed her way back to Grimmauld Square in three days of funky hitch-hiking - first in a van exhaling the suspicious smell of something stronger than cigarettes driven by hippies who found in the young witch a most interesting conversation partner, then she travelled with a couple of elderly retired, whose stories she listened to with great pleasure, and she finished the journey in the sports car of university students who found Luna's 1940's Hogwarts uniform "totally retro" and absolutely wanted to know where she got it. Standing in front of the door of the Order of the Phoenix's Headquarters, she simply knocked twice, wearing her brightest smile and her hair as dishevelled as ever and she had the surprise of her life to see Ginny Weasley collapse in her arms, shouting incoherent things about how everybody thought she was dead. Harry had a broad grin on his face and said : "It's good to have you back".
Everybody welcomed her with exclamations of glee - well, not everybody. Severus Snape, standing in a dark corner of the living room, simply cocked an eyebrow at her sight, his calculative gaze considering her under a new light. After a while of Luna being bombarded by so many questions she couldn't actually answer any of them (especially from a frustrated Hermione Granger who was simply unable to fathom how on earth Luna had managed this little trick), Mrs Weasley forced Luna to her room to rest while she organised a "small party to celebrate her coming back from Merlin knows where".
The young girl happily obliged since she wasn't sure the last time she had had a good night's rest and fell quickly asleep. Hours later, she was awaken by Mrs Black's discriminatory shouts ; Tonks had once again waken her. She was still apologising to everyone when Luna came down the stairs. Mrs Weasley had prepared enough food to last a siege ; stew, salads, pot pie, porridge, cakes, tarts - she had made it all and it smelled divine. When she saw the Ravenclaw, she smiled at her :
"I hope you'll enjoy dinner," she said quite loudly.
"Thank you Mrs Weasley!" she said as she pulled the older witch in a tight hug.
Mrs Weasley looked quite unsure at first, but hugged her back after a few seconds.
"Have fun, sweetheart," she whispered in her ear before hastening to the kitchen.
Soon enough, the longed-for question came up. They were all gathered at the table - her friends and Potions Master from the Order of the Phoenix - and eating pot pie when Harry Potter, sitting right next to her, finally couldn't take it any more and asked her what everyone wanted know in a low voice.
"So… Where were you all this time, Luna? You were gone for almost two months! What happened to you?"
However, as low as he tried to be, strangely enough everybody at the table seemed to sense that the subject had been brought up so naturally, everybody fell silent and stared at Luna. She wasn't used to such interest, to the gleam of curiosity in their eyes and their undivided attention. Usually people just tried to get away from her and her non sequiturs as fast as possible. She felt appreciated and important for the first time since her mother had died.
"Well, I was at Hogwarts," she started.
"What? You were at Hogwarts? But it's controlled by the Death Eaters! You can't have been."
Everyone was protesting and Harry was trying to calm them down so that Luna could continue.
"Yes, I was there - taking classes and everything, with Professor Dumbledore."
"Dumbledore?"
This time, Harry had interrupted her and he looked extremely shaken. The interest had gone as quickly as it had appeared. Hermione took a deep breath, as if to keep herself from sounding too angry.
"Luna, I understand that you're, erm… in your own world, but you can't say these things. You know how hard it has been for everyone to grieve for Professor Dumbledore, and you bringing it up… It's really insensitive. He's dead, it's not funny."
Luna just stared, for a while, her mouth opened in a shocked O. She felt her hands shake, so she folded them neatly on her lap and forced what she hoped to be a calming smile on her lips.
"No, you don't understand, let me…"
"Luna, please, stop."
Harry had interrupted her in such a weary, tired voice that her mouth snapped shut in a sad, small line. He rose up from his seat and left ; soon enough everybody was mimicking him. Luna stayed completely silent, focusing on the scraping of the chairs across the floor and the thump of the feet clumping upstairs and when she heard nothing but her soft breathing, she realised she was completely alone.
Things went back to normal. Ginny was still her best friend, Harry talked to her sometimes, when he was not too busy thinking of plans to destroy the Dark Lord, Hermione got mad every time Luna dared mention something the narrow-minded Gryffindor cast aside as imaginary and Ron ate a lot of food. Everyone else looked at her like she was crazy ; sometimes it was with a calming smile in the hope that it would stop her from attacking them, sometimes it was with scared eyes that wanted to look at anything but her and they pretty much ignored her whenever she talked about those extraordinary beliefs she held to heart. Never again, she attempted to mention to anyone her time travel adventures. Everything was the same, except for her former Potions Master who kept eyeing her with musing eyes.
One night, the Order was gathered to talk about the recent attack of Voldemort and the Death Eaters on a Muggle village and Luna had been invited out of politeness rather than because she could be useful ; therefore she was half-listening, half wondering about her friends in the 1940's Hogwarts. She thought about Scott and his oddly elusive behavior, about Lindsay's adorable clumsiness and Lindsay's incredible poise and beauty and Tom Riddle's… He was such an enigma, she couldn't describe him or say what she liked about him. She wasn't even sure she liked him because he was a bit scary, but she knew not to judge misunderstood people too quickly because she knew what it was like to be judged hastily. She started biting the nail of her thumb when she heard a familiar name pop in the conversation.
"Who's Tom?" was asking Mondingus Fletcher.
"It's the real name of You-Know-Who," explained Hermione after having flashed a glance to Harry to check if it was okay to tell the swindling wizard. "Tom Riddle."
Ginny noticeably flinched.
"Tom Riddle? That's funny you're mentioning him, I know him!" blurted out Luna with a dreamy smile.
She then remembered that she shouldn't talk about her time-travelling adventures and frowned. Everyone was staring at her and Ginny's ears had turned pink.
"What do you mean, you know him?" asked coldly Hermione.
"I saw him after I went through the portal," she explained, tilting her head to the side in wonder. "He is not very nice, but he is very handsome. It is kind of distracting when you speak to him, actually."
Ginny blanched and abruptly left the room. Snape let out a small chuckle and Harry looked at her like he had never seen her before. Everyone was silent.
"How on earth did you meet Tom Riddle? He's Voldemort!" Hermione finally exclaimed.
"Why, I went through the portal and time-travelled, of course! I was a student with him at Hogwarts in the 1940's."
Another stunned silence. Finally, Harry said in a very low voice :
"You're telling us that you used a fake Muggle spell book to travel back in time so that you could go to Hogwarts and make friends with the freaking Dark Lord? Was it on your bucket list or something?"
"I didn't know he was the Dark Lord," she muttered, frowning.
She had spent two months in Hogwarts with Voldemort? That explained why he looked so dangerous. But he didn't look that dangerous, the last days she spent with him. He just looked like a teenage boy ; nothing like the noseless snake-like eyes.
"So, that's how you managed to see Dumbledore. You were his student at Hogwarts," concluded Harry softly.
Luna nodded, a dreamy smile making its way on her pink lips. Hermione shifted uncomfortably on her seat but no one else moved.
"That's perfect, actually," continued the Chosen One in a brighter voice.
Luna raised her eyebrows, her huge grey eyes standing out even more, for him to go on.
"You could kill him for us. Weed out evil at its roots. None of that suffering, none of all these deaths," he explained, speaking louder at every word.
His words hung in the air as everyone was considering this. Luna just felt her stomach knot and everything went blurry. After a while, she became conscious that an argument was taking place about this project; she heard a lot of yelling but not once was she consulted. She slowly rose up and no one noticed. She went out of the room, closing the door without a sound behind her, muffling all the yelling about the consequences of meddling with time travel - but none about the consequences for Luna's soul. She didn't sleep that night, she just stared at the ceiling, her round eyes strained on the mold stains.
When she descended the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast, the following morning, everyone was exceptionally warm with her and interested in what she would have to say. She said nothing. She nodded numbly as Harry requested to speak with her, as she stuffed down the last mouthful of her pancakes. As she exited the room with the Gryffindor, she felt Ron Weasley giving her a slap in the back with an appreciative smile.
"Thanks for doing this, Loony… er, I mean, Luna."
She said nothing as Harry explained her in the privacy of his room that no matter how she did it - with a knife, with a spell, with poison - in any case, it had to be done. It was for the greater good, for everyone's happiness. What about my happiness? Do you think I could ever be happy if I did this? After the job had been done, she could naturally come back to them and lead a normal life. A normal life with a death on my conscience? She could ask him anything about the Dark Lord's life, if she wanted. If it could help her finish the mission.
"So, do you agree? You're the only one who can ; it would look suspicious for another transfer student to pop out."
No, I can't do this.
His expectant eyes were staring hard at her. Maybe if I do this, my friends will finally look at me and see me. She merely nodded, feeling her shoulders slump almost unnoticeable and Harry gave her a small knowing smile. Her fate was sealed.
She was ready. Ginny was with her, everyone else being too busy to see her off on this potentially life-threatening mission or just felt too awkward around her. She hugged her goodbye, feeling like she was also hugging herself goodbye, but didn't shed a tear. Someone knocked.
"Professor Snape!" exclaimed Luna, stunned. "I wasn't expecting you."
"I didn't come here to see you off, Miss Lovegood. I came here to make sure you knew what you were getting into," retorted Snape coldly. "You do realise that you are being shipped off on a mission to kill the Dark Lord?"
Luna winced, stung by his words. She'd rather not think about it too much.
"I know," she answered softly, her head down.
"You are not fit for such a mission. You are simply not fit for murder, Miss Lovegood. No one should ever have to do such a thing, especially not you."
He had said the last sentence almost wistfully, as if he was also speaking a bit for himself. His eyes were even darker than usual, burning with memories and longing. She took his cold hand and squeezed it. Her former Potions Master jerked it almost right away, but she smiled at him anyway.
"I always wanted to do something great. Something important. Maybe I am supposed to do this."
She was mostly trying to convince herself of it.
"Anyway, Professor, thank you. I hope I will see you again one day, after all this. You don't have to be so cold all the time, you know," she also added with a serious frown.
She chanted the spell over his annoyed protests and stepped in the portal after a last look at her present - or was it her future? She took in Severus Snape's sombre face, Ginny's deathly pale face and underweight frame : aftermath of the war, like so many other things. She thought about her father for a second, but stepped into the portal to forget about it right away. The dice was cast.