I told you I'd be back with long ness…enjoy!
Disclaimer: This is a disclaimer when you're not looking.
(seriously though, I own nothing)
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Know
Know that what needs to be done will be done. Know that even in sorrow there is goodness.
Know that there is more, much more, than your mind can ever explain, and it is beautiful beyond all telling. Know that there is a purpose behind every glimmer of desire. -Ralph Marston
Know that there is a solid and navigable connection to the reality of whatever you may imagine. Know that what you seek with sincerity and passion, you will reach.
Know that what you give expands with the giving, and comes back to you stronger than ever. Know that all is as it is meant to be, and the possibilities continue to expand and evolve.
Know that every energy is focused on this now moment. And know that abundance has no beginning or end.
Know that the miracle is not something outside of you. The miracle is that you know.
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Jessica Gerald was sitting in a hammock that Jack so rudely tipped over when we walked into his/hers cabin. "Oi!" He cried, as he fell.
'Oi, one of the words I would be adding to my vocabulary,' I couldn't help but thinking.
"Jessica! Didn't know where ye went off to last night."
"No offense Captain, but did you know where anyone went off to last night?"
They laughed, "Good to see you've made it back in time for our new expedition, ay?"
"Yes sir, but first I'd like to know who the pretty lass was that opened the door to your quarters this morning was."
Jack gestured to me grandly, "This here is Persephone Hart, and she's the ships new lucky charm."
"Lucky-" I tried to say, confused, but Jack kept talking.
"In fact, I'm almost positive this one'll be leading us to more gold then any of your stories have told of."
I was still confused but I played along, and just smiled. Come to think of it, being introduced as a lucky charm didn't suck so badly. Better then wench, whore, or you know, hobag. Well, they probably wouldn't call me that anyways, but you know, things like Smelly Pirate Hooker, and all that.
"Lass, it's lovely to be introduced again." He leaned in and winked, as he whispered, "In all honesty, I just wanted to see what he introduced you as. No offense miss."
Jack wasn't one to miss a beat, "No, Mr. Jessica, this isn't one of the lasses I'm teachin' how to tie knots, she's a genuine, and so far, non knot learning type."
Jessica and I looked at each other, both wondering weather or not he had just made any sense.
"Uh…yeah." I said, he nudged me in the shoulder.
"I know you're a bit slow, milady, but it was a compliment."
"'Tis true!" Jessica added, "Many women can't resist a good knot tying lesson from the Captain." Satisfied, Jack put his arm around my shoulder.
I swear! Do all pirates, no, all men; have one thing on their mind?
"I assure you all, " I glared at Jack, and removed his hand, "I've no interest in learning how to tie your little tiny knots." Jessica was the only one to laugh at this with me, Jack only seemed mad.
"Back to the matter at hand Jessica, What's your news?"
"Recall Black Bellard?"
"Black Bellard? I know of him!" I exclaimed without thinking. I had read a book about him last month. Both men stared at me, Jack smiling, "I'm impressed, tell me what ye know 'bout 'im?"
What do I tell him? I only know how he died and such, and it's probably not a good idea to be telling these guys about that, now is it? "It's just that…he's famous for his life. How he escaped the noose and all."
Jessica laughed, "No offense intend, lass, but everyone knows that. It's nothing to write too far home about."
Jack on the other hand, was waiting for more. "Go on…"
"The rope broke when they pulled open the hatch, and he survived somehow. The monks believed it was a miracle, so they took care of him. Eventually he left the monks to pursue further his career in pirating. Captain of the Silver Lining after that event, he became very wealthy. Wealthy enough to accept the Governors request for him to quite the job and receive a pardon. I heard he retired to Cuba, where he…." Lived until he died with a wife and 3 kids, I almost added.
"I didn't know that last bit lass!" Jack exclaimed, as if I'd impressed him somehow.
"How did ye know that? I only heard of his retirement this morning!" Jessica said, somewhat angry with me now. Jack did that whole puppy dog thing, where he tilted his head to one side, and I felt a little part of me melt. He was not sore on the eyes, and when he did stuff like that, I could only remember my two favorite things. Puppies and the oh-s-good looking men back home. But this was a new ballpark, for now, we'd keep it to looking, and not touching. Right?
"I just…sort of…heard talk on the street. There was a point where I didn't know where I was and I-"
"Yer rambling luv." Jack said. I was tired of Luv, milady, and lass.
"It's Miss Hart." I said, a bit snootily.
"Aw, come on then." He prodded, taking my hand.
I sighed, "Fine…Percy."
"There, not so hard now, is it? Well Jessica, unless you've any other news, this little charm of mine and I are going to go get some food. Unless you wanna learn the knots now?"
Every time he starts acting nice, he has to through a line in like that. This time I just laughed, "Actions speak louder then words." Was all I said to him, thinking that I didn't have to reply to every come on, but what mattered was that I wasn't learning how to tie knots.
We walked out of the room towards the galley, "Food?" I exclaimed, "For real! Oh man, get some!" I said, racing ahead of him, but was held in place. He had grabbed me with both of his hands around my waist. This is awkward.
"Come on, dude, let me go! Food! I'm raging for some junk so bad, my speech isn't making any sense."
But he didn't let go, "Now come on, what's this about?"
I stopped fidgeting and he grabbed me by the shoulders, spinning me so I was facing him. "Eh?"
"Now, I understand that Aye, we were separated for a bit today. But ye couldn't ah known about Black Bellard."
I laughed nervously, "Oh Jack, you…silly…" I said, swating his jacket, trying for a little distraction.
He wasn't buying it.
"I just…oh you know how these things work. Someone spreads a rumor in one town. Someone else spreads another….this on just happened to be right. Savvy?" I raised my eyebrows and tried to look cute.
"This be a ship full of pirate, as you are well aware, and every last one of them is a liar. They'll lie about the sun in the middle of the night, they'll even lie about the decks of me ship if they feel it. But lying to their Captain is somthin' they know better then to do. So you're going to be telling me the truth…."For effect, I imagine, he added, "Savvy?"
I swallowed and tried prying his arms off of me, "it's just a rumor I heard, that's all Captain, I swear on my stil breathin' mothers grave." Or, you know, unborn.
He narrowed his eyes, "To the brig? Or to me cabin? Choice is yours. The brig may be filthy, but at least it'd help ye make up yer mind a lil quicker. Maybe I'll have-"
"Stop it, ok? You threaten like an urban legend!" I was whining, and I knew it, but I had to think of a story quick.
He looked like he just had and idea. "Well then," He grabbed my arm and pulled, but I stayed where I was.
"NO WAY! You gave me the choice, and I haven't made up my mind. Let go!"
He reached for my other arm, but I smacked him. "Ow!" He yelped, shaking his hand.
'Hmph' I thought to myself. But he had his own thoughts as he fought back, grabbing me by the waste and pulling me through to the galley. The galley? I thought he was taking me to the dudgeon , I mean brig. Same difference.
I breathed a sigh of relief once he put me down finally and I could sit on a bench. There was a bottle of rum on the table, surprising, still a little full. I ignored the fact that I didn't know whose mouth had been on it, and reached for it. He smacked my hand, and it was my turn to shake. To taunt me, I imagine, he took a long sip and sat down next to me.
"You get to watch me eat then, how's that sound?"
"Unfair."
"Well, then you can tell me the truth about how you knew. Starting with where you're really from."
"Nope."
"Want to bet, Miss Hart?"
Instead of replying, I closed my mouth.
"What are ye doing?"
Quickly I said, "Ifiholdmybreathiwon'tbeabletotalkandthennomapnomapmeansnotreasure." I shut my mouth again and breathed through my nose.
"No, no, no good! Don't do that!" I just shook my head to his request. It was getting hard, and I was terrible at this. I knew he'd be the type of person to notice if you were breathing through your nose.
Suddenly, he held my nose closed with one hand, and shoved the rum bottle towards my lips. "There!" He said, as my mouth flew open. I was sputtering, half choking half swallowing the amount of rume he gave me.
"Hah, see, I win. I will always win."
"You didn't win last night!" I argued.
"How would you- Now ye are going to stop this, tell me where ye came from, ye little topic switcher."
"Ye little topic switcher, "I said mimicking him, "At least I'm not an alcoholic!"
He just laughed at this, and suddenly, before I could stop myself, I blurted, "Did you know Captain Morgan died of Alcohol poisoning? Hah, the irony." And that's when he met my eyes with the stare.
I was an idiot, it was true, but you have to understand, when you live in a society that demands perfection, it's different. I'm not used to having to watch what I say. At home, I could speak as freely as I wanted, except, if I said "Any port in the storm" I'd get a few glances. But still, I was an idiot nonetheless. I had just given myself away. Then again…perhaps I had wanted to. I mean, I didn't want to have to keep everything a secret, and Jack was my only friend. It was obvious I wasn't going to come out and say that I was from the future; maybe this was the only way? I subconsciously gave myself away? Was I that dumb?
The price is WRONG Bob, I wasn't. I didn't mean to give myself away, it just happened. I guess deep down though, I know it would have happened sooner or later.
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After my little blurt, Jack stood up abruptly and pulled me up the stairs by the wrist. I didn't bother fighting him, it was obvious he had me caught. So when we sat down at the table, and I told him I didn't remember where I was from due to a head incident, he didn't believe me.
"Look, a relative of yours, he had this map. And the information, some of it which I only have in here, " I said, emphasizing a finger pointed at my head, "I don't know why, I'm guessing it's this little necklace, but I ended up back here." I pulled out the crystal, and held it out to him, while keeping it on.
He leaned in and studied it, and I felt myself blush when I realized how close we were. It was nervous breathing, as if I were scared he was going to kiss me. A good scared, where I might have hoped he did. I wasn't that innocent, not in my time, I mean a kiss is just a kiss right? I could just lean foreword and-
"It looks familiar." He said as he pulled back, I released a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
Scientific Fact: Guys and Girls kiss. Kisses can be without meaning. Kisses can be full of meaning. Do you love me? Do I love you? Am I gay? Am I straight? Do I love your mum? Do I like you? Do I care for you? Maybe I hate you? Maybe you hate me? Maybe you feel nothing? Maybe there's nothing to feel?
But the thing is, I had to hold myself back, not that a kiss wasn't innocent or anything. Which I'm sure it would be with him. But it's just…too much right now. Right? Yeah, right. And besides, you kiss guys like Jack, and it changes everything. That's just how it had to be, and I had to remember that. But a part of me felt like there was something else holding me back. A little voice.
Besides, I'm a girl, and I'm going to prove my point to him. I, Percy Hart, will not give into lust.
For now.
NO! Forever, is what I meant.
Luckily, he didn't notice said breath. "Familiar how?" I asked, quickly. I was still amazed that he believed my story.
"Like I've seen it before…I just can't put my finger in it." He chuckled, "I mean on it."
Ew, did he mean what I think he meant? Nah.
"Well, I mean, it did come from your time. Who knows? Guess we'll just find out, won't we?"
"So can I see this map, finally?"
"Yeah," I reached into the bag, keeping the diary out of sight, and pulled out the map.
He studied it, looking serious in thought, and read out loud, "Bushes be big, and bushed be small, the creatures that hide within, take the shape of them all."
"It's gibberish to me, I guess. But I'm thinking that when we get there it'll make more sense."
He ignore me, and mumbled something, "Bloody…. surface…houseman…. kisses…"
"What?" I jumped at the word, thinking about my guilty thoughts; He looked up at me, and shrugged.
"It says here, "Miss me, don't you? Well then, kiss me." I've no idea what that means. Well Percy, looks like we've got a little trip on our hands."
"Yeah, but if we die of starvation, we're going to get nowhere."
I smiled at him, and tugged on his arm, "Food, Captain, pleasseeee?" I cried.
"Alrigh, already…just tell me one thing." He said, standing up, "What happens to me? You know about Captain Morgan's fate, Captain Bellard's…what of Captain Jack Sparrow."
I said, getting serious, "Well, ok, this sounds corny, I know…but I think fate is involved here, because you're the only one I don't know about. I mean, I've been doing research, because all I knew was that your relation held the map. But I know there's more to it."
He studying me, and took my arm, "Aye, to the future!" The brown-eyed pirate captain said, as he led me to the galley.
"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest," He started singing, "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"
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We had set sail right on time, just as Jack had announced. Later on when I asked him how he managed to let everyone know that we were leaving early only when he'd left me at the dress shop. He was a tricky lil devil, that one.
He even challenged me to a duel, to see if I really knew my stuff. I declined, taunting that I was worried I'd hurt him. But we did end up shooting empty rum barrels off the port side of the ship. I was very pleased with myself and that Captain wasn't too shy to show me off to his crew. I knew to them I looked like a knot tying girl, but I didn't care one bit. I knew who I was, and so did the captain. At this point anyways.
Jack was pleased with my gunslinger skills, but was anxious to see me at a gold old swordfight. I promised him the next day, and that I was too caught up in the excitement of leaving port to possibly think of anything else. He just laughed at my excitement, "And we're not even at open sea yet!" He had said.
And once we were, I could see why it was so loved. After dinner with the crew, where Jack had told everyone that I was an orphan girl looking for a way out of town, I excused myself to get some fresh air.
The sun had set, and a man by the name of was at the helm. He was silent, for reasons jack had told me, that had to do with matters of the tongue. Yuck. I had become used to the silence, besides an occasional squawking, that I hadn't noticed Captain Jack switch places with him.
"Nice night, innit luv?"
"Jeez Jack, I didn't even notice you there!" I turned to him, startled.
"An' how would ye?" He smiled, looking down at his hardworking crew.
"The sea is so different back where I come from."
"That so?" He said, humming; yet I knew he was still listening.
"It's just…the way you get around is different. It's no longer as peaceful. The ships are suddenly called boats, and they're everywhere, and everyone is on them." I shook my head, I had begun thinking that my time sucked, and that was bad. It was my home, and I had to be happy with it. "Either way, I think this is nicer this way. We're the only ship out here. It's nice. I read in a book once, that when they saw a ship coming, they had hours to anticipate its arrival."
"Ah, 'tis true. Unless The Black Pearl be the ship comin' up on ye. You see, the winds can be in your favor, or they cannot. There have been times when the morning watch has seen the sails first, and it was the afternoon watch that fought. "
"That's why it's so different. When you see a boat where I come from, you're on it in 15 minutes. Of course, you're not fighting it…and no one really flies flags. Unless they catch a fish, really. Some people put up-" I shut myself up, I didn't want to mention that people often flew pirate flags for just fun. I noticed his strange look, "people fish allot, where I come from. If they're proud of there fish, they'll hang a flag displaying that fish for all other boats to see. And the boats, well they're much smaller. This ship, well it's the only real ship I've been on, let alone pirate ship. But I think if I ever went back in time, this is exactly where I'd want to be."
He grinned, and handed the helm off to a nearby crewmember. Walking over to me, he looked over the edge at the dark waters. The moon, and some other deck lights, were all we had. The white of the moon covered the entire sea, something, which even at home, had always taken my breath away. "Well then I'm glad I could be here with you."
I turned to him, "ok Captain, I've been honest with you. Now, we're out at sea, nowhere to go, neither of us is leaving anytime soon…Tell me why you really let me come aboard. I mean, there are so many alternatives. So. Why?"
He kept his gaze on the sea, "Sometimes, you just do things, because of a gut instinct or whatnot."
We were silent, until it was I who yawned. "Time fer bed, Aye?" He said, smiling at me.
"Aye, Aye. Where is said bed."
"Let me lead you there."
He led me straight to his room. "ha ha, very funny. Now seriously?"
"I am serious, Miss Hart! With me being the only one knowing where you're from, and that you have the map, I can't exactly lte you near the crew,can I? Plue It's my duty-" I chuckled at the word, "To keep ye safe."
"So do you have another bed in there or something?"
He made a face like he's just eaten catpoop. "You're determined as me, aren't you? You're on the wrong team, luv, honestly. Ye see, one day you will decide that being with me is the-"
"And why would I ever do that?"
His smile grew bigger, "Because you're going to see what's really so irresistible about me."
"While you go be full of yourself, I'll let you in on a secret, you're not the only one who's irresistible. There's a reason I'm not with you, and let's just say that reason is popular demand. My choices are few, you could call me picky. And I assure you, I've picked just about everything I could about you to be wrong."
"Aw, Percy, I've no doubt you're in demand, I can see why you say you…irresistible. But you can't honestly say there's not one thing you're found about me you like."
"Well..."I leaned in towards him, and put my hands on his chest, "You see," I shoved him away, "I like that fact that you're always a gentlemen and intend on letting me have your bed all to myself." I grinned, and picked up my bag and sat on the bed.
He brushed off his shoulders, "Bloody wench, we'll see. But for now, I'm going to go get rum, and guess what? You get none! So hah!"
"Oh you dirty rotten-"
"Pi-"
"PIRATE!" I yelled cutting him off, I loved stealing his thunder. He slammed the door behind him, leaving me alone with enough light to allow me another entry by Emily.
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today to mourn the un-mailed letters and the lonely Decembers. The children ask, does it ever go away? They're asking about heartache and you know better than to lie. So you answer them truthfully, no it doesn't, it doesn't go away. One day you're jumping in puddles and the next thing you know 30 years have passed and you're telling your kids to talk quietly in the library. But no one ever learns anything. Like how to keep breathing when your heart breaks in half.
I realized I had skipped a few pages, but not enough to be 30 years. Instead of tredding back a few entries, I read on.
I look at my friend Marisa, who's married and is now with child. I'm to be married too, to David finally, but I know this isn't in stone. I look at my mother's miserable life and think about why she survived. Or rather, I ask myself, how did she? I know that she had a broken heart too, or hasn't she? Has she lived her life so perfectly that she's never had to experience the broken heart? It's the heart of the matter, isn't it? It's the heart that matters more.
I didn't understand this issue much, except that dear Emily had an impossibly painful heartache that was just making her life miserable. I continued on…
Still no word of my brother, and it just ruins me inside. I understood why he stayed away from home for so long, I knew of his hatred for my parents. But he never hated me, and that's why he came back to see me. And now, it seems he's stopped completely, and I don't know what I've done to cause him to hate me too. It had been so obvious why he felt anger towards my parents, but I think he always loved them. Hate is too strong of a word, yes, now that I think of it. He did love them, just not there ways. I know he wasn't happy to be saying goodbye to them forever, but I know he's finally out where he needs to be. What's good for him, I'm assuming. But why has he left me so completely?
Now I'm to loose David too, aren't I? He just arrived back today from his trip to Port Royal, and already I feel he's changed. Does he wish to be a sailor now? A pirate maybe? A privateer? So be it, I'll love him no matter what he wishes to become. Just so long as the circumstances lead him to be with me. That's all I need in this life, he's all I need and I ju-
The light dimmed out on the lantern, and the moonlight was hardly enough from my position in the bed. I had dropped the book just then, and lost my page. Just when it was getting good. Why was David visiting Port Royal? And who was her brother? Why did he hate his family?
'Emily, you'll be the death of me, and if I'm right, probably the death of another lad as well.' I thought to myself before falling asleep.