I never own anything but my twisted mind...

Chapter 6

Fissure

I watched him as the soft afternoon sunlight fell on his face. It sparkled delicately, making him impossibly more beautiful than usual. The black circles beneath his eyes mirrored mine, and told me how hurt he'd been. I was ashamed I'd let it build up to that point, but I foolishly disregarded how my actions might be perceived. I never meant to belittle Edward. He was my entire world. I just wanted him protected, safe. In return, I had to accept that he saw me the same way, and wanted to do those things for me as well. It was difficult for my stubborn mind to accept, but I eventually did. I reflected over the earlier turmoil that had marred our day.

Jasper had talked me down after Edward stormed out in a rage. He came in, chuckling and smiling broadly. "I wondered when he was going to snap. A little sooner than I anticipated, but I expect Emmett with be pleased."

I cocked an eyebrow despite my dark mood.

"A bet," he answered, waving off any more questions eagerly. His jovial tone hit me, but I had shrugged away until Jasper threw his arms around my shoulders.

"Come on, Bells," he urged softly. "This is nothing. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Nothing?" I demanded. "Edward walked out on me and that's nothing?"

He laughed into my hair, and lifted me, until I was hovering inches from the ground. Pulling his face away, my friend looked me in the eyes.

"Nothing," he repeated with confidence "One time he lost in a video game to Emmett and smashed the big screen. And another time, he turned over Esme's antique curio cabinet full of Faberge eggs. You thought you've seen pissed? You should have seen Esme's face…"

He was able to talk me down with his anecdotes. Jasper truly considered it lucky none of our sparse furnishings met their untimely demise.

Edward wasn't gone long, and he returned to find my spirits lifted by the good grace of his brother. As he discretely bid us farewell, Jasper paused at Edward and laid a soft hand on his shoulder. They were silent, and then Jasper was gone.

My love stood where I had, in front of the door. He looked as ashamed as I felt, but his eyes boiled with freshly fed vigor. I wanted to say those pitifully inadequate words and beg for his forgiveness. I owed him a thousand apologies for every time I'd undermined him. But my lips stayed tightly sealed. I breathed in and out through my nose, waiting for him to make the first move. He'd never know how intimidating he was to me—with a single word, he could completely obliterate my heart.

Edward remained silent, but stalked toward me. His prowess demanded my attention, and I couldn't bring myself to look away. Each muscle worked together under his clothes, propelling him forward. When he was no more that a handbreadth away, he stopped, still as stone.

Golden pools melted into mine as he reached to cradle my face in his hands. For a long moment, we both breathed heavily, like we'd never tasted the air before. Emotion was still rampant in him, but it was no longer the rage that had blinded him earlier. The only thing I saw swirling there was love.

And it made me crumble.

With slight pressure, I leaned into his hand until it was flush against my cold skin. I raised a slow finger to his neck, tracing it down his shirt. There were a thousand words we should speak, but no sound escape either pair of lips until he leaned his into mine.

The kiss was fiery. It burned through my lips, igniting passion on its way to my toes. His lips brushed across my mouth and down my neck, his arms pulling me closer. And I knew I should say something, but nothing aside from soft intakes of breath escaped my lips as his danced along my collar bone. Edward's hands were confident as they roved my body. He was everywhere at once, and I was melting into the heat of my arousal, pushing back against him, burying my face in the base of his neck. When I nipped at the sensitive dip there, he growled, and dragged a thumbnail along the soft ridges of my spine. Venom pooled as he elicited an aroused shiver from my body.

Then, hands like vices circled my elbows and I was pushed an arm's length away from the object of my desire.

He slid a powerful gaze over my heaving chest, down my stomach, to the center of the blazing throb inside my body. It was shocking, exciting. I wanted more than his eyes caressing my body, but Edward made no move to cement himself against me. Arousal turned to unease as we stood in silence. Why wouldn't he say anything? Why wouldn't he do anything? God, what was he—

And then I realized what he was waiting for. So I opened my mouth. It was time for those apologies to spill out and wash away everything I had done to hurt him. But I was still struck dumb. I was afraid I would say the wrong things, that my voice would do no good, that there wasn't anything I could say to undo a decade of cruel emasculation…

Now, as I kept my eyes trained to him, body bathed in the soft glow of the afternoon, I knew there hadn't been words to bridge the rifts I'd forced between us. There wouldn't have been anything I could say, so I had been right to stay silent during those tense moments.

It was Edward who had finally spoken. His words were both expected and shocking in the same instant.

"I'm going to Romania."

My eyes widened. I couldn't hide my feelings, but I bit on my tongue to prevent myself from telling him he couldn't go, that it was too dangerous.

He looked at me, as if anticipating every thought churning in my mind. He registered a kind of understanding that almost made me think he could hear what I was thinking. He knew me too well, this man.

"It is too dangerous for you to go." His voice was soft, calm. "And it is too dangerous to ignore it altogether. Please believe in me, love. Trust me to be strong and fearless. I am not afraid," he whispered. He was close enough to taste his essence on my lips. I could feel the vibrant energy seeping from his body. He leaned in until his chest brushed mine, mouth nearly on mine.

"I am only afraid of losing you." He'd said it, that very fear I hadn't been able to voice—my greatest fear was his, as well. And then he was on me, in me, devouring me with love. Fingers and arms tangled and twisted together until we were completely surrounding each other.

I loved this man. I loved every slide of his gentle fingers and the warm breath as it penetrated every pore. And wrapped in him as I was, I knew I could get lost and never find my way back, and that I would be happy. I could spend my existence enveloped in Edward.

He made love to me. Slow, soft, gentle. The fury of earlier only served to heighten our senses as he played his music on my body, eliciting each reaction, each desire and molding it, coaxing it from my depths. When I came, I sighed his name breathlessly against his ear as the knots of orgasm untied themselves from my center. Waves of release crashed over him until they milked his own tension away.

Safely trapped in his body's embrace, I panted into his naked flesh, peppering his skin with light kisses. When he finally rolled off of me, leaving the familiar ache of emptiness between my legs, his smile was as bright as the noonday sun.

And I couldn't argue with him about Romania. I'd given into his demands, and it was right to do so. Still, the thought left a sour taste behind. I didn't like the way it mingled with Edward's flavor, but it was done. In an effort to protect me, shield me from the horrible things Alice had seen, Edward would take my place.

* * *

That evening's meeting had been larger than I anticipated, but my office had never seemed less crowded. Light conversation murmured through the room and weighed heavily on everyone's shoulders. Even as Alice fawned over Tanya's stunning new necklace - shiny pieces for the new toy – she was nervously clicking her nails together. And the rarely intimidated Emmett drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair anxiously. The gravity of the situation was daunting.

Every one of us understood that we were separating. And how long we'd remain apart was unknown.

It was quickly decided that Alice, Emmett and Rosalie would accompany Carlisle and Edward to Romania. Jasper and Felix would remain in Volterra with Esme and myself. The dimwitted blond twit would thankfully be returning to Alaska with the rest of her coven. Volterra offered the greatest protection I'd find, and Carlisle seemed just as adamant that his mate remain behind these walls. She was perfectly stoic as he said as much. The love and devotion between them was hard to deny; his face crumpled in pain at the thought of travelling without her. Jasper was somewhat the same way, but had reluctantly agreed that Alice should go, for no other reason than to maintain the visions that my shield frequently disrupted. No one could deny her ability would prove to be invaluable in the upcoming weeks. We all needed her third eye open and watching, and the only way to do that was get her far away from me. Jasper, tactically speaking, saw the necessity, but was no less thrilled than Esme or I by the aspect of sending his mate to an unknown land full of ancient horrors.

Not like Emmett and Rosalie. They both wanted in as soon as the subject was approached. But they got their giggles from facing fear head on. I couldn't deny them that pleasure, no matter how ill-placed it was. It didn't hurt to have the extra brawn along. And Rosalie's cunning knew no equal.

But, after all was said and done, I felt no less tense about Edward leaving my side, though I knew that the five of them would stand as a united front against any impending trial. And that gave me enough confidence to acquiesce and agree to the parting.

Over the next several days, my family made their final preparations. They planned to leave a week after the Saint Marcus festivities. Edward poured over any information he could find about the land, the people, and the legends of Romanian coven. The history was scarce, but it was what he could do.

I quietly watched him work, hunched over the table, until I could take the enduring silence no more. It had been tense between us the last week, both walking on eggshells to avoid another explosion. It felt like neither of us had truly moved past it, while the world around us zoomed on. I couldn't let this continue, especially since soon, he would be hundreds of miles away from me.

I sat next to him. Without lifting his gaze from the worn pages of the book on his lap, Edward's fingers laced into mine. And I squeezed them, to comfort him, to comfort myself. I would be strong enough to endure for his benefit.

"You need several days of good hunting before you leave. Perhaps you should leave the books, for now," I said softly.

For a moment he didn't answer, maybe finishing a passage, though his eyes were still. "Be sure to take my mother out while Carlisle's gone, maybe an art gallery or two. She'll be lonely." He smiled gently, knowing that I would be lonely too. He turned back to his work.

And finally, when he snapped the book shut with a puff of dust escaping the yellowed pages, he looked to me again. There was no fear behind the dark topaz pools. There was only confusion and daring, and perhaps a touch of naivety, though it might pass as stubbornness. I knew too well what an implanted thought could do to your brain. Edward wanted concrete answers about Vlad Tepes, but he wouldn't find them in books.

I'd spent the last week focused on Edward, on my departing family, but the strange Romanian and the vibrant displaced memory of him lingered at the back of my mind, threatening me with the unknown. Throughout everything, I decided to keep those sanity lapses to myself. I dared not think of Edward's reaction if I made it clear I was losing my mind. He needed to remain focused on his mission if he was to come back to me unscathed.

Now, with the hours together drawing to a close, I only had thoughts for the foolishly brave and unerringly loving man next to me. The warm familiarity of our touching palms gave me more than courage. It gave me hope, and I wanted to absorb as much of it as I could in our last minutes.

"I love you, Edward Cullen," I whispered, leaning toward him.

He brought our hands to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles. "You are my life," he said simply, as he had a thousand times, but this weighed infinitely more. It didn't hurt to have him cement his love over and over. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. "I love you, Bella." He sighed into my ear. "I love you and trust you, and I'll come back. I can't be without you."

The sincerity of his words and the way he held me so closely left no doubt that he meant it. The embrace eventually led to our being completely exposed, bared and open to each other, and we made love over and over as I tried to assure him of my undying love for him, and his for me.

It was beautiful, the slow way his body loved mine. It was erotic and sensual beyond anything we'd shared prior, no matter how many countless times we'd done the act. But this was different. Stronger on the cosmic scale of our own little world, as our mountains moved and our rivers bended with the intensity of our lovemaking.

When it was done he smiled at me, poorly masking his own misery, and kissed me with a raw passion that echoed his deep thrusting moments ago. Then he was dressed and gone. Leaving me alone and naked in his wake. It felt stingingly like rejection, though it had been anything but.

Realization swept me up in an unforgiving embrace of desolation, and I could only lie still as the shadows of darkness crept up the bare walls. They fell on me, wrapping me in feelings I had never wanted to experience again. Edward left me, necessary as it was, and he'd taken the best pieces of me with him.

Volterra had never felt so cold.

A/N: So, this is the end of the beginning, where the story will begin to take off...

I need to send about a million thank yous to Gondolier, my beta extraordinaire. She is so wonderful, you really have no idea. Check out her fic Hydraulic Level 5. It is so good!

And to my friend Quirky Alice, its good to have you back!

To everyone else, thanks for reading, and please leave a review!

Now, on to the forests of Transylvania..........