Espada Boot Camp
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Well, maybe in my dreams I do, but not in reality. Curse you reality!
Okay, so I put up this one-shot and noticed that it got a bunch of hits when I first put it out. This baffled me, and it got no reviews (depressing), so I thought it must be the topic, but Code Geass isn't the most popular thing ever (it's close). So I asked my friend to tell me, she said it's probably because of the summary. So I redid the summary for Boot Camp, and I've come to the conclusion that 255 character summaries can go f**k themselves, thus doubling their existence to about 510, this way, I can actually write a good summary.
It has been brought to my attention that I have no life. I sat here, on Christmas Eve, with my windows WIDE open, typing this. NO, I wasn't waiting for Santa (the letters in his name can spell Satan!), I was being worthless. I have insomnia, so yeah. I couldn't sleep. I was feeling cheery, so I typed up a Christmas special you you guys. I really need to get a hobby or something. All suggestions are appreciated. I'd like to know what my readers do. (Wow. I am such a stalker XD).
Well, I also noticed that my thank yous have been getting long, so I'm just going to thank people who stick out, like good/quick reviews, and people who favorite, review, and alert. So, thank you SeasprayLuv, who was very quick to review. It made my day. Also, Shinigami117, your comment was much appreciated. It lets me know that people actually read the shit I type up here and down there. So, thank you.
The group of Hollows and shinigami wandered though the desert as usual, each person keeping to his or her own self, which was quite odd, especially for Gin. Every member of the posse would glance over at the small child every once in a while to make sure nothing was terribly wrong. No one said a word to the boy; they were frightened to awaken the beast inside. He wasn't smiling like usual, and he didn't even look up.
Something was wrong.
Finally, Aizen could bear this no longer.
"Is something the matter, Gin?"
". . ."
Nothing. Something was most certainly wrong. He didn't utter a word. Everybody stopped, horrified at this response.
Lilinette was the next to pipe up.
"Hey! Pipsqueak! Answer me dammit!"
". . ."
Nothing. Now everyone was in panic mode. Everyone tried to make Gin stir from his daze.
Aizen got in Gin's face making weird noises and faces. Tousen ran into every tree he could sense, and then ran into them a second, sometimes three times. Barragan used the giant net to tangle up Starrk. Ulquiorra dive-bombed Gin several times. Halibel splashed water on the boy. Lilinette did just about every trick a dog could do, she chased her tail, sat, lay down, rolled over, barked, howled, begged, everything. However, Gin just stood there looking down.
"Maybe he died from Starrk and I's reiatsu."
"Maybe he fell asleep, and is sleep walking."
"Poke it," Halibel pointed out.
"Yeah! Check t make sure it's dead!"
And so, everyone began to poke the boy, but still, nothing happened. They poked, jabbed, punched, kicked, and almost stabbed him, but before the stabbing began, Aizen told everyone they were resting.
Aizen, Tousen, and Barragan sat on an old, decaying log while Starrk and Lilinette curled up together and napped. Ulquiorra perched in a nearby tree, and Halibel had Aizen place her bowl next to the tree that Ulquiorra was using.
All was silent over the barren landscape. Then Gin looked towards everyone and asked, in a very quiet monotone voice; "Does it snow here?"
Everyone just sat in place, and stared. It had been so quiet they had almost missed it. Then they began to respond to the world after a long pause of utter confusion. Lilinette was the first one up and to Gin.
"It spoke! It said stuff! It lives! It lives! Yay!"
She bounced around Gin, yipping and yapping this and that. Ulquiorra flew over to further inspect the strange boy that had replaced Gin. Starrk just sat there, intrigued by the strange question. Aizen then looked at his watch, which he had no idea he had until that point in time. The date was the 25th, but what month. . .
"Christmas!" He exclaimed. Starrk, who was startled by the sudden burst of noise, flinched, then inquired, "What is this "Christmas" you are shouting about? You are making the dead go deaf."
Tousen understood Gin's melancholy once Aizen yelled the day to the dead. Gin missed home.
Starrk was still quite confused about what was going on with the shinigami. "What is "snow"? And what is "Christmas"? You shinigami are ludicrous."
Tousen began to explain the holiday to the clueless Hollows. "Snow is a type of weather. It's like rain, but solid and melts. Like a mix of water and ice, or rather, finely shredded ice. It only happens in the wintertime, when it's cold. It's usually paired with Christmas, and human holiday. We shinigami picked it up after a few years of patrolling. Some recruits saw the decorations and talked the head captain into celebrating it. People give gifts to each other during the holiday. Gin just misses home. Well, mostly just the holiday. He enjoys playing in the snow some shinigami make with their zanpaktou. He also tends to get five tons of candy and one thousand gifts. He misses the celebration."
Starrk just stared blankly at Aizen. "You shinigami and humans are fucking retarded. A holiday of pissing away money for others?"
Aizen spoke next; "the holiday worships a fat ass dressed in blood red colors with white fluffy shit on the hems of his clothes. He drives a sleigh pulled by nine magical flying reindeer, one of which has a red, glowing nose, all the way across the world in one night, stopping at every bloody house with kids. He shoved his fat ass into the chimney, eats cookies that the little nit wits leave for fatty, leaves some presents in an over-sized sock with a kid's name on it, and then leaves through the chimney again to head for the next house. He keeps a list of kids who defied nature and were good all year round, and a list of typical kids who were bad even once throughout the year. Good kids get gifts, bad kids get coal. He has little slaves working in a sweatshop for no pay making toys for kids. He also lives in a barren wasteland called the North Pole. It's too cold for any human being to live there all year round."
"LIES!" Lilinette jumped back as Gin yelled at the top of his lungs. "SANTA IS REAL! He gives me what I want every year!"
Starrk, who thought this was all quite ludicrous, just sat there and chuckled. "Look kid, there's no fat ass here, and no snow. Never has, never will. Quit dreaming, and let's go."
Just as Gin looked like he was about to cry, something began to fall from the dark abyss-like sky. It was soft and wet. And white, god, was it white. The flakes fell everywhere. There was so much that the group couldn't see three feet in front of them.
One flake landed of Lilinette's nose. "COLD!"
"SNOW!" Gin screamed. Suddenly, his old self sparked to life. He began running around in circles chasing Lilinette's tail. He was speaking at the speed of über sound to everyone and everything. He was laughing, cheering, screaming, shouting, and making noises Barragan never knew a creature could make, even in his old age.
It was quite a show.
Soon the snow began to coat the ground. First, a small half-inch layer, then an inch, then a couple more inches, then a foot, and so on. Soon the snow coaxed the ground in a think, pure, innocent three feet.
Snow angels and snow pups having seizures covered the ground. Snow forts were built, and snow forts were destroyed. Snowballs flew.
Gin and Lilinette laid on the ground panting. They were exhausted, but happy. Gin had a huge smile on his face, and Lilinette's toothy smile was just as big. They were still giggling in a fit of joy.
"So much for "no such thing as snow here"! Heh heh heh."
Aizen walked up to Gin, and looked down at the small boy. Aizen just grinned and said, "Merry Christmas Gin. Here." And he tossed a candy cane to the boy, who devoured it in under a second, and kept talking away, just like always.
Well, because Bob has been hospitalized, I need a new method for reviews, favoriting, and alerting. So, you see this? –holds up a glowing green kitten by the scruff of the neck- This is one of the many nuclear kittens that help me write my stories. I keep them all in a giant warehouse in the middle of the Nairobi Desert. See how cute and fluffy it is? Well it's useless, so each time you don't review, I'm punting one off a nice, high, Hawaiian sea cliff with lots of sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom. If you do review, I'll give you one for Christmas.