The story thus far: After being advised not to make close friends at school, Remus and his dorm mates get off to a rocky start. Remus makes a friend in Lily, and they present a united front when it comes to Sirius and James.

Warnings: Slash, eventual RLSB

Disclaimers: Don't own it.

Notes: Thanks to Oony and Rry for all the help!

ooooooooooooooo

The Worst Year Yet

By Rekahneko

Chapter 7 – Fifth Year – Remus Is Over His Crush

ooooooooooooooo

When fifth year finally rolled around, Remus Lupin felt like he was finally on solid ground when it came to his life at Hogwarts. He was sure this was going to be the year when his roommates decided on a new hobby or at least a new victim for their pranks. Remus was tired of dealing with them and wanted nothing more than never to see them again. He was completely over his unfortunate crush on Sirius Black which he blamed on a combination of hormones and too much time indoors studying.

Remus was over his crush until he saw Sirius in the train station that is, complete with broader shoulders, longer hair and a few more inches in height. In fact, somehow, Sirius Black was even better looking than the previous year. He was laughing with James and Peter, probably over the misfortune of some poor first year, and yet Remus couldn't seem to turn away in disgust. Just as Remus realized he was staring, Sirius looked up, caught his eye, and winked, grinning widely. The werewolf's stomach flipped and knees turned to jelly. It was terrible.

Sitting down heavily on his trunk, Remus buried his head in his hands. He waited for his friend Lily to show up at the station, hoping she could somehow snap him out of it. The way things were going, this was going to be the worst year yet.

oooooooooooooooo

"Okay James, this time, I'm sure it'll work. I think he was staring at me the other day in class and really, how could anyone resist me?"

The question Sirius posed seemed to amuse his friend to no end, if hysterical laughter was anything by which to judge.

Sirius just huffed and made his way over to the other end of the Gryffindor common room. Two heads, one red haired, one dark blond, were bent over an overly large and quite dusty tome.

"So, Lupin," At the sound of his name, the blond boy looked up, eyes wide. Sirius thought he might have seen a faint flush on the boy's cheeks, but it was hard to be certain as this part of the room was illuminated by the tricky light of the fireplace.

Sirius continued, "I was wondering if you would like to join me in Hogsmeade next weekend." The boy in question just crossed his arms over his chest, leaned back in his chair and stared at Sirius. "Or we could stay here. Plenty of things to do all day in an empty dorm." Sirius leered suggestively, but only received a raised eyebrow in return.

The staring contest was quickly over as Sirius' severe lack of attention span gave him a distinct disadvantage. He quickly gave in, throwing up his arms in temporary defeat. Muttering under his breath, Sirius stalked back over to James and Peter and their unwelcome snickering at his misfortune.

ooooooooooooooo

"So," Lily said, "what was he saying as he left?"

"Err, well…" Remus ducked his head down a bit and let his hair fall into his eyes, a sure sign he was feeling uncomfortable.

"Come on, tell me! Was it good? Bad? Worse?"

Remus cleared his throat. "It's embarrassing so keep your voice down." He looked around carefully, making sure they wouldn't be overheard.

"He said, 'Stupid Lupin. Thinks he is too good looking for me. Well, I'll show him! Back to the top of the list.'" Remus sighed. "Sounds like he is going to plan another prank with me as the star, doesn't it?"

"Too good looking for Black?" Lily smiled. "Why don't you go out on a date with him?"

"What? You want me to go on a date with the most pompous, egotistical guy in the whole school, just so he won't prank me? You've got to be kidding."

"I don't want you to date him at all. I was just suggesting you think about it. Not so he won't prank you either; so you can get him out of your system. You're starting to get a bit too interested in him."

"It isn't my fault! He's just too..." Remus paused, thinking. "Too something. I'm not sure. But whatever it is, he has too much of it to ignore."

"Looks? Personality? Idiocy?"

"Yes to all three. Good lord Lily, what do I do? This is a completely intolerable state of affairs." Remus looked at his friend miserably.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I kind of know how you feel." Lily risked a surreptitious glance across the common room to James Potter.

"At least Potter doesn't make so many off-color remarks. Last week Black walked right up and asked if I would go behind one of the greenhouses with him and make out for a while. Does he really expect someone to say yes to that kind of an invitation?"

"Don't tell me you didn't at least think about it." Lily smiled knowingly. "And Ja-, I mean Potter, he knows I would hex him if he said something like that to me."

"You hex James no matter what he says," Remus said, grinning at his friend's slip to the more familiar form of address.

"Yeah," she said, "I do."

They both laughed quietly before turning back to the large book they had borrowed from the library.

ooooooooooooooo

Journal Entry, Late September, Fifth Year

Me again, the idiot werewolf. Why do I say idiot? Well, because suddenly, it has become true. Stupid Sirius Black has found a new way to make my life hell. The sad thing is it isn't even something he meant to do this time. At least I don't think so.

I am not quite sure when things started to change between us, all I know is that fifth year is starting to be just as horrible as the other years, but for different reasons. I know for sure that in third year, Black held absolutely no interest for me whatsoever other than my desperate desire to avoid or ignore him.

Some time between then and now, I went completely insane. Maybe I just have a thing for the whole tall, dark and prattish look. Is that even a word? Perhaps I just like to pick the most unreasonable choice available. First Severus (can Malfoy be any more intimidating? And what is up this year with Severus' new 'pureblood' ideals? Who does he think he is kidding?), and now Sirius.

Oh hell, I am even calling him by his first name now, though I haven't done it in front of him yet.

What is wrong with me? I really don't understand it at all. Maybe I secretly like pain and misery. I could swear to you that I practically hate the boy and yet I find my eyes following him around the common room when I should be reading. I know he is a bit of a bully (not as bad as he used to be at least), and I have never appreciated the humor in his pranks, so why do I have to fight a grin when I see a Slytherin walk by with green hair or a foot long nose?

He smiles at me and instead of making me annoyed and suspiciously worried like before, I have to work not to melt at his feet. One can only hope he hasn't noticed. Thank Merlin he is naturally oblivious (I mean, we live together and he hasn't even realized that I leave every month with the full moon, hurrah for small favors).

Perhaps I should blame it on hormones and leave it at that. Goodness knows practically every other person in the school would agree with me that he is attractive. And that's another thing. He has dated practically everyone else in the school. How could I possibly be interested in someone who has the attention span of a gnat and the morals of a flobberworm?

If ever we did get together, it would be for what, two days? A week? Perhaps that is what I should do; go on a date or two until he gets bored and moves on. Sadly, I doubt that would help. I can see it now; we date for a week, I end up getting way too attached, there is a horribly public and very embarrassing break up, and then he has even more fodder to use against me in his stupid pranks.

No, I think it is best that I stay as far from him as I can. Yes, I know I am leaving out the whole wolfish aspect of the argument but really, how many times can I re-hash the whole "don't let people close so they won't find out" argument? Or the more depressing "who could love a werewolf" question... Lily says I get way too moody about it so I try to avoid the entire lycanthrope topic. I try to avoid it on the 27 out of 28 days it is possible at least.

oooooooooooooooo

As Remus sat at his usual spot near the fire, he decided that it just wasn't the same without his friend Lily there beside him. A group of girls across the room were whispering and, even with his above average hearing, he couldn't quite tell what they were saying. Shifting uncomfortably, he tried not to dwell on it but couldn't quite shake the idea that, just maybe, they were talking about him. And his lycanthropy.

Of course, logically he knew that wasn't the case, but his paranoia was getting the better of him without Lily as a distraction. Even Black and Potter weren't around to distract him from his thoughts. Though of course that was a good thing, right? Certainly life was much quieter without his roommates around. He sighed, trying to focus on his studying.

More whispering reached his ears. Remus chanced a look over at the group, and one of the girls returned his gaze, giggling with her friends.

Okay, that's it. I can't take this anymore. Picking up his scattered belongings, Remus quickly stuffed them into his bag and headed off to class at least half an hour earlier than he needed to.

As he rounded the corner on the way to his next class, he was met with the sight of one of his roommates, chatting with another student. Not wishing to deal with anyone in his current mood, Remus ducked into a shadowy alcove before he was seen. Peeking out around a strange statue of a wizard wielding a watering can like a weapon, he took in the scene before him.

There was Sirius Black, touted Slytherin-hater, terror of first years, taunter of advice-givers everywhere, smiling and chatting to what looked like a miniature version of himself, but with a Slytherin crest on his black robe.

"You remembered what I said about the trick stair, right? And getting to the kitchens if you need a snack?"

The younger boy nodded and smiled, seeming quite pleased with the helpfulness of the advice.

"Good, because you need as much food as possible if you are ever going to be even close to my height."

"I'll have you know I grew this much, just over the summer." The young boy smiled proudly as he made a small space between two of his fingers to indicate the amazing change.

Sirius reached over and ruffled the Slytherin's hair. "So I heard you have Transfiguration right after Herbology, that right?"

At the younger boy's nod, Sirius continued. "Professor Ishtar always keeps everyone late and makes you late to your next class. But there is a shortcut between the tower and McGonagall's classroom. If you take the left hallway at the bottom of the tower and look for a tapestry with two Welsh Dragons, just push the star shaped panel to the left of the tapestry and take the corridor that appears. Can you remember all that?"

"Yup. Thanks. I've already been late twice, that'll be really helpful. Professor McGonagall is kind of scary the way she looks at you when she's annoyed."

"No kidding. I get that look at least three times a week and it never gets better." Rather than a rueful tone, Sirius' words held a note of pride. Remus thought there might be a little hero-worship in the gaze of the young Slytherin.

"Anyhow, just let me know if anyone gives you a hard time, okay? I can hex them until they lay off, or just prank them into submission. No one messes with my little brother, right Regulus?"

The boy beamed up at his big brother before both of them went their separate ways.

oooooooooooooooo

Remus sat alone in the classroom, musing on the scene he had witnessed and the obvious kindness and concern with which the first year Slytherin had been treated. Honestly, Remus hadn't thought it possible that Sirius could be at all cordial with a member of the house of snake, relative or not. Certainly he never expected to witness such soft hearted conversation between the two brothers. When students started arriving for class, Remus realized that he hadn't gotten a single thing done.

"I need a quill. Mine broke. Do you have an extra?"

Sirius and James had entered the classroom and Remus used the opportunity to once again listen in on their conversation.

"Nope. Why don't you ask Frank for one? He has quills coming out his ears."

"He almost never has a spare quill."

"No, I mean literally. He has quills coming out his ears. Some sixth year cursed him in the hallway. Maybe you could help him with that and get a quill out of the deal."

"A quill with earwax all over it? Ugh, nasty. That's okay."

"Ask Lupin then. He always carries a spare."

"Like he would even give me the time of day…" Sirius sighed, but hoisted up his bag and walked over to Remus.

"Hey, Lupin. Can I borrow a quill?"

Remus felt a bit guilty. Was he really that bad when it came to Black and Potter? Not that they didn't deserve it, but still.

"All right," he answered shortly, reaching into his bag.

"Really?"

Remus held out the quill and raised an eyebrow.

"You are letting me borrow your quill? Aren't you afraid I'll mess with it? Use it to prank you or something?"

Remus' eyes narrowed and he started to pull his hand back.

"Not that I would. I promise! Please, Lupin?" Sirius looked at him pleadingly, large gray eyes at their most beguiling. Remus pushed the quill into the outstretched hand, trying not to blush.

"It's just a quill," he muttered, as Sirius bounced back to his seat, beaming with delight.

As Remus tried to calm the flustered feeling in his stomach which always seemed to happen after Sirius smiled at him, the teacher started collecting homework.

"And where is your homework, Mr. Black?"

"There was a misfired spell in Charms and my homework was sent to the future." There was a titter from around the room at his words. Even Remus was hiding a grin behind his book.

"Well, you had better hope it was sent to a point in time later today and ends up on my desk," the professor warned, obviously not as amused as the rest of the class.

oooooooooooooooo

Next Time:

"Remus, I just want to say thank you for last night in the Astronomy Tower."