Title: Unspoken Words
Summary: Éponine Thenardier felt curious about the quiet man sitting at the corner of the Cafe. But what she hadn't expected was that this beautiful man was special, not like the rest of them all. Soon, she began feeling attracted to him, wishing nothing more than to hear him say what she wanted. But there was something that didn't let him do it. He was deaf.
Note: Okay, so this story is particularly special for me. I had this idea in my head for far too long and finally decided to write it down. I put my heart and soul in it, I feel really close to it. Please forgive me if anyone feels insulted by it, I tried to remain as believable as I could. This story will also have one more chapter which I'll begin writing immediately. Hope you'll like it as much as I did, I really worked hard to get this as perfect as I wanted it to be. Special thanks to my extraordinary beta-reader Judybear236, she's amazing! And also I always think her ideas are terrific! On a side-note, I'm working in my school with a play, a kind of musical, yet no entirely a musical. So I'm writing the script, and it's really taking me almost my whole time. I'm eager to finish the second chapter, but first I need to finish the play. So pray to the literary gods that I can do both really fast! Now, enough of my responsibilities. As always, I encourage you to leave a comment with your thoughts and opinions so I can know what you would like to happen or what you liked, to know that there's someone out there reading to what I write is the best feeling in the entire world. So now, enjoy.
Since she was a little girl, Éponine had always wanted to grow up and become a teacher. But as time went by, she realized that she was good at other things, such as reading people and figuring them out rather quickly for someone as young as her. She was good at listening and giving advice, she always offered her help or a shoulder to cry on. She wanted to help people, to understand them. She wanted to be what she herself didn't have. She wanted someone to be there and tell her that everything was going to be alright. Éponine decided that she wanted to be a psychologist. It was barely her first year at college and she had already learned things that she never thought could be possible, every day meant new information and that just increased Éponine's desire and hunger to learn more. Probably the best day of her life was when she was told that she could get a degree in special education after finishing her career. She couldn't believe that in the end she would be able to dedicate herself to helping others.
Her college experience was proving to be everything she had always expected. That included all her crazy friends. Marius had introduced her to his group of friends, which with time became the best thing that could've happened to her. They were stupid and crazy, but they were all like big brothers to her, protecting and helping her with anything she needed. The first time she met them, Courfeyrac, a law student self-proclaimed ladies' man, had pulled her by the arm and forced her to sit between him and Combeferre, a philosophy student who looked far too calm to be friends with them. Jehan was there too, Linguistics student and helpless romantic, sitting by Joly's side, a future doctor. Although Éponine believed that it was highly amusing because he was the king of the hypochondriacs. And in the corner, was Enjolras.
Not many people realized the first time they saw him that Enjolras was not normal, in a certain way. They would be too distracted with his chiseled jaw, piercing blue eyes, messy gold curls that fell freely around his face, his lips pursed in concentration, the bottom lip slightly fuller than the other. If he hadn't blinked, she would've thought that he was a marble statue. Immobile and breathtaking. He was one of the most beautiful men Éponine had ever seen before. But as Marius introduced Éponine to all of them, her jaw fell slightly when he lifted his eyes from the book he was reading, a small smile in his lips, the statue coming to life. But then, he did something with his hands that took her by surprise. He did sign language.
He was deaf.
When Enjolras was born, doctors diagnosed him with profound deafness, irremediable. As a little boy, he had been forced to learn, at a rather impressive speed, sign language. He also could read lips, but not talk. All the Amis had learned sign language to communicate with him, although Grantaire assured her that he had only done it because it was super cool, like a secret code. Feeling a little surprised, Éponine just nodded to the man, who nodded back and returned his attention to the book in his hands.
Éponine never talked to Enjolras, only when it was necessary, and still they would need to use a pen and paper to communicate. Of course what they would say wasn't important or was vital information, but still, she felt content with the little conversations they would share. The first time they had an actual conversation, he had been the one to start it. She wasn't sure if it was because he felt bored or because he was genuinely curious, but as she read the paper, a smile appeared in her lips.
Éponine et Sabinus?
She stole a glance to him, his eyes glowing with what she believed was amusement. She smiled and grabbed the pen he was offering.
What can I say? My mom is a devoted romantic.
He would've understood her if she talked, after all, he could read lips. But there was something about the fact that he would be looking to her lips instead of her eyes that made her feel extremely uncomfortable. So she decided that writing down what she wanted to say would be a better option. There was a mysterious air in the man, whether it was the way his lips were always pursed in concentration, or his constant frown. She couldn´t tell, but still, the curious part of her wanted to know more. So she didn't hesitate to ask for his help when she was told in class that they needed to learn sign language for the next semester.
That afternoon, Éponine came into the Café slowly and dragging her feet. The thought of asking Enjolras for help was just an excuse to get to know him, perhaps it wasn't the best idea, but still it was her only option. She sat next to Enjolras carefully, her eyes studying him as he wrote down something in his notebook. Sensing her stare and her presence, he lifted his eyes to meet her, hair tangled and her cheeks flushed. He chuckled, an amused glint in his eye.
"Guess what. We are going to study educational methods for special abilities." She began, her eyes darting from her hands to the table. She knew that he was paying attention to her, his eyes on her lips as she spoke. Writing down what she needed wasn't the best option, probably her hand was shaking anyways. "That means that Professor Lucille wants us to learn sign language…so I-I was wondering if you could you help me? You know, because you are a pro and all." She finished with a shaky laugh.
He chuckled and turned around to write down his answer. "Yeah, why not. I'm the only deaf one here, so it'll be great."
Her face fell, a dark pink coloring her cheeks "That's not why I asked you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way I just thought-"
Enjolras lifted his hands to make her stop, a warm smile in his lips before scribbling furiously down. "I know, I was just teasing you. Of course I will help you."
She raised an eyebrow before slapping his shoulder playfully and giggling "You dork. I won't say thank you because you don't deserve it. See you later!"
They began seeing each other every afternoon after their lectures. He lived with Marius, and as the freckled guy was absent during their "lessons", they decided that his place would probably suit them most. In between their lessons, they got to know each other, a combination of signs, words and papers. Éponine discovered that Enjolras was not a normal guy, in the good way of course. He studied Law, and although he knew that he would never be in a court room, he still wanted to be a part of that world, to make a change. So when his dad had offered him the opportunity of being a part of his company, he had taken the chance. Éponine had learned only the basic signs, being hard trying to learn more than 5,000 signs in less than a month. But still, Enjolras was patient with her. He would always write down what he wanted to say to her, and she would answer out loud as he read her lips.
Sometimes, when they were all alone, Éponine felt like if Enjolras was letting her see a part of him that not many people were able to see. To everyone, Enjolras was the attractive Law-student which had just happened to be deaf. Many of them felt pity toward him, and that was the main reason why Enjolras tried to avoid big groups or reunions. She often discovered things about him that made her eager for more, like that his favorite book was War And Peace, by Leo Tolstoy. He also liked his pizza with extra pepperoni, he was an early riser, he hated raisins and that his guilty pleasure was Modern Family and peanut butter.
Enjolras wasn't what she was expecting. Underneath the cold exterior and stern looks, he was a nice guy. He was the kind of guy that would've done anything for the persons he cared about. In another life, he would've been a great leader, moving masses and encouraging everyone to make a change. But for that, he needed a voice, something he didn't have. Still, he owned a powerful air that still made everyone do as he asked, he was serious and stern, not taking anything easily or for granted. He was a natural revolutionary caged inside a room of silence. As the days went by, Éponine found herself developing a certain kind of admiration for him. He had been able to overcome his disability, he had entered one of the most prestigious universities in all the country, and he was at the top of the class and had an incredible group of friends who cared a lot for him.
"You should be like this with everyone else" she said, turning around to grab more study cards Enjolras had made for her.
She jumped when she felt one of his fingers under her chin, coaxing her to turn around and face him. She let him, her mouth slightly ajar with surprise. His eyes were glowing, the clearest blue she had ever seen. Letting go of her chin, she felt slightly disappointed at the loss, but managed to hide it as she raised a brow.
"Look at me when you talk" he signaled, that serious air that always surrounded him whenever he was giving her instructions, but then the corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Otherwise, I cannot see your lips."
"Sorry" she signaled back, embarrassment in her face "It's just that sometimes I forget."
"So do I" he answered with a shrug "And I think it's better that way. I like to forget about it sometimes too. But also I like knowing what you say."
There was a certain connection between them that neither of them could understand. It was as if they had been friends for a very long time, their relationship was like that: natural. When the group hung out in the Musain, they'd still interact with the rest of them as if the things they shared inside his apartment had never happened. He would be quiet, every once in a while asking one of them what they were talking about, she would be laughing at whatever Grantaire was saying. And he would watching her laugh, not being able to hear the sound, wishing nothing more but to hear it, even if it was just one time.
Éponine began noticing how she unconsciously would be drawn to him, how she always wanted to know what he was thinking, how a smile would appear in her lips when he wanted to talk to her. There was also her secret desire to hear his voice. What would it sound like? Would it be like she thought it would? She was just being foolish, he had never talked before, and by what Combeferre had told her, he only knew how to say the name of his parents, yes or no. But he hated talking, the feeling of saying something and not being able to know how it sounds. So that's why he didn't talk.
He would chuckle or laugh at some times, a husky and low sound that made a shiver run across her spine whenever it happened. She didn't care that he was making fun of her, she still enjoyed the sound, being the most adorable sound she had ever heard before. Sometimes he would stare at her while she laughed, a curious expression in his face, like if he was trying to understand something.
"What?" she signed, her laugh fading into a soft giggle.
"Your laugh" he stated simply, his eyes still sparkling with something she couldn't identify "I like when your laugh. You have a nice smile. I was trying to imagine how it sounds."
But despite the current wave of feelings that Enjolras was provoking inside of her, a tiny part of her heart was still in love with Marius. So it wasn't a surprise when he arrived one evening to the Musain with Cosette in his arm. Éponine wasn't sure what had hurt the most: that she had been too blind to see it coming or that her own roommate had kept it from her. Of course she didn't stay mad at Cosette very long, after all, the blonde had been her friend since before Marius had appeared, and she hadn't the fault of anything. It was then when her struggle to get over him began, slowly and painfully, every single feeling and hope she had of Marius, began fading away, leaving behind just a friendship.
The guys had noticed of course, they were always protecting her after all. But she didn't want their looks of pity or comfort words. She didn't need them, she was strong and very capable of taking care of herself. They understood that after a while, so when Marius announced that they were officially a couple, no one spared a glance of pity to Éponine. Instead, they decided to order another round of drinks for everyone, although she knew what they were trying to do, she had discovered it when Jehan had put a cup of her favorite drink in front of her discretely, a sheepish smile in his lips. She took it and smiled back, they would never stop taking care of her.
Enjolras had noticed too. Probably he had been the first one to notice the infatuation she had with Marius, but hadn't said anything to anyone. And it wasn't because he felt bad for Éponine. On the contrary, he was afraid of the moment when she'd realize that Marius would never return her affections. Still, he hadn't shown a sign of pity nor of feeling sorry for her, his only way of asking if she was all right was when the next afternoon, when she arrived at his apartment, he had a box of her favorite cookies for her. And she understood.
She began spending more time with him. Now, instead of just practicing the sign language, she also stayed with him as they studied together. Although their classes and lectures were the complete opposite, still they would be content with the company of the other. Also, it helped her being away from Marius and Cosette's love nest, for it seemed that her apartment was practically now Marius' too. And Éponine couldn't bear it. While she spent her afternoons with Enjolras, Marius and Cosette had practically now chosen her apartment as their secret love place. Éponine had walked in countless times just to find them attached to the other, and by the third time, they didn't even bother to acknowledge her. Éponine was slowly growing tired, and she knew it was only a matter of time until she exploded.
It was one night during finals. It was Friday and they had been studying all day long. Although Enjolras hadn't said anything, she knew that he was aware that it was growing late and Marius still didn't show up. That could only mean that he was too busy with homework, or that's what Éponine wanted to believe, although she was completely sure that he was rather busy with someone. It was barely past midnight, the empty boxes from Chinese food on the counter as they sat on the couch watching one of the Rocky movies with subtitles. Her head was jerking as she fell awake each time, blinking furiously and trying to fight against the fatigue.
She felt his hand move slowly and brush hers softly. She sat up straighter instantly, turning around to stare at him with an anxious look. His eyes met hers and locked, a lump forming in her throat as she recognized the glint in his eye, the one she had been trying to avoid.
"It's really late. Why don't you stay over?" he signaled, a slight frown forming in his expression.
Under normal circumstances, she would've said no. But she felt too tired of putting on her tough façade to everyone, always smiles or witty answers. That night, for the first time in years, she cried. It came slowly, as rain does. First a few drops, which then morphed into a storm, and despite her vain attempts of trying to stop it, the tears continue to fall down. She turned to her side, brushing her cheeks with the back of her hand before moving to face him again, her eyes on her lap.
"Yes, I really should stay" she signed, an empty smile in her lips as she stood up "I'm really tired and my place is far, you're right I should stay."
Enjolras stood up too, a concerned expression in his face while he observed tears streaming down her face as she moved her face from one side to the other, trying to avoid his eyes, her gaze traveling all around the apartment as she brushed her hair with one hand.
"You can sleep in my bed" he signaled quickly as her eyes finally fell on him "I'll crash on the couch."
"No, I won't be kicking you out of your own bed. I'll sleep in the couch" she shook her head before grabbing the empty glasses and walking into the kitchen quickly.
He followed her into the kitchen, his frown deepening as she thoroughly washed the glasses they had used. Enjolras moved slowly until he was by her side, leaning back into the sink and watched her splash water. Although tears kept falling, Éponine tried to remain calm, her breathing heavy as soap covered her shaky hands. At some point, he turned off the faucet and grabbed her hands, drying them with the towel. Her eyes stared at the floor intently, a sob threatening to escape her lips. With a finger, he lifted her chin so now she was looking straight at him, and it was then that she realized that the expression of pity that had been there before was gone now. Instead, he was now looking at her with concern.
"You know you can always trust me" he signed, an honest expression in his face "What's wrong?"
She closed her eyes taking a deep breath, somehow glad that finally the tears had stopped for now. Opening them, she decided that she was being too weak. And she wasn't weak, much less in front of someone else.
She shrugged "Nothing."
His jaw tensed visibly, his eyes narrowing "Éponine."
"It's silly, Enjolras. Just let it be." She signed before walking away, her expression hardening.
She was aware of the soft footsteps following her, but it wasn't until she reached the living room again that he stopped her, a hand on her wrist, turning her to face him.
"I know you. And I know what's going on inside of you" he signed, a firm expression in his face "You don't have to be strong always, Ép, even the strongest need a rest too."
"Just leave it, it's stupid" she stated, her face downcast.
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, forcing her to look up. Letting go of her hand, he signed "Nothing that ever makes you cry will be stupid."
Her bottom lip trembled before she averted her gaze to somewhere else.
"I just…I'm tired of feeling this way. Of believing that I had finally moved on and then, things like this happen, and the wound opens once more, just when I thought it was completely healed" her hands were moving furiously, the tears coming down once more.
"And it's just so childish!" she cried out, tired of moving her hands "All of this is ridiculous! I know that they are in my apartment together, doing God knows what, and what it hurts is to know that I have to walk in tomorrow and pretend that nothing happened! Ignoring their quiet giggles and silly smiles! It just makes me realize that I will never have what they have! I'm not what guys are looking for! I'm the complete opposite to what Cosette is, I'm dull, tiny and broken!"
Without realizing it, she was moving her head frantically, so Enjolras got a hold of her shoulders, trying his best to stop her from moving so he could read her lips. She realized it and stopped moving, her wide eyes glassy as she stared at him.
"And now I'm just bothering you with all this stupid stuff which is really ridiculous and you are probably thinking that I'm pathetic" she gave in to what she was feeling as she cried "And I'm sorry for that, I know how hard this must be for you. But I'm just so tired of giving it so much importance! I know Marius will never see me that way, and I don't care anymore, but apparently something inside my head doesn't understand it! And I'm sorry, I know this is ridiculous, it's not worth it. I'm sorry…"
He finally pulled her close to his chest, one of his hands flying instantly to her head and caressing her hair softly as she cried against his chest, one of her hands fisting his shirt desperately trying to regain control. They stood like that for a long time, her head buried in his neck as he held her close, his arms circling her form and trapping her in his comforting embrace. Éponine never believed that the marble-man would be able to make her feel like this, to comfort her, to make her open up and reveal her vulnerable side.
Enjolras led her to his room, his arm around her waist as she sobbed quietly. Not having the strength to argue with him, she let him pull back the sheets of the bed. She slipped into the mattress and watched him tuck the sheets around her. She studied him through blurry eyes, her breathing finally returning to a normal pace. He sat down on the bed, separating himself slightly so he could lift his hands and sign.
"Never say again that you are dull or broken. You are the most incredible, extraordinary and beautiful girl I've ever met. Don't apologize for feeling what you feel. You have all the right to stop being strong at least once" his eyes were looking for hers, his eyes warm "Look, you are the strongest person out of all of us, you are moving on, and I swear that one day there'll come someone who will love you as much as you deserve."
Her eyes were wide, a lump forming in her throat as his hand grazed one of her cheekbones before placing a tendril of her hair behind her ear.
"And I'll always be glad to help whenever you need me" his eyes were pleading as she slowly felt her body go numb from exhaustion "You are perfect. And Marius doesn't deserve you."
She laughed quietly, and he smiled back, happy that he was finally able to make her smile. Pulling her hand out of the sheets, she grabbed his hand, holding it in hers. She felt him tense, surprised to realize that he still felt uncomfortable despite the fact that he had been the one to hold her tightly. Almost immediately, he relaxed and squeezed her hand. She closed her eyes, burying her head deeper into the pillow as the warmth from his body comforted her. He stayed until she finally fell asleep, and for the first time in all his life, Enjolras felt that finally someone needed him.
It wasn't long until Marius and Cosette decided to move in together, and immediately Éponine had suggested the idea of moving herself with Enjolras. The student accepted rather quickly, something that surprised the Amis, but none of them dared to say anything. A week later, Éponine was already settled in her new room. Enjolras had helped her by carrying boxes of books and clothes, a smile on his face as apparently Éponine's excitement was really contagious. Éponine quickly transformed Marius' old room into her own sanctuary, posters of some famous quotes she liked plastered on the wall, books scattered everywhere in neat piles that didn't managed to fall down, a dream-catcher Jehan had given her hanging up her bedpost and some pictures of her with the Amis on her nightstand and desk.
Éponine thought that she had never felt more at home. And probably, the fact that she was living with Enjolras was the main reason. They fell into a comfortable routine, something that surprised her. He would always be up before her, a mug of coffee ready for her at the table. Sometimes she would wake up first and surprise him with some pancakes or freshly-baked cookies which he always enjoyed. She learned that he loved when she put chocolate-chips in the pancakes, so she began adding them just to see him smile, a childish expression in his face as he ate. They would stay until late studying, he would help her with whatever he could and sometimes she had to take the book from his hands and force him to sleep some.
He also discovered her fondness of falling asleep in the couch while she read, and she would always wake up with a pillow beneath her head and a blanket tucked over her. Éponine found herself enjoying the morning Enjolras, his eyes would be scrunched as he adjusted them to the light, his hair messy which he only worsened by tangling his fingers in it. But definitely the most awkward thing that had ever happened to her was when he opened the door of the bathroom and she was still inside, luckily already dressed after a long shower. The tip of his ears turned a fierce red color, his cheeks almost matching them. Trying to hide her embarrassment, Éponine laughed and pushed him out of the bathroom, letting out a sigh as he disappeared inside his room. The next day, she hung a cardboard sign which read "Empty" on one side and "Occupied" on the other.
They began slowly growing more close to one another, soon discovering things about the other that nobody else knew. If the Amis noticed it, they didn't say anything, after all, not one of them would dare to tick off Enjolras. Better said, Éponine. Marius and Cosette continued to spend some time at the Musain too, but after hours of sharing their annoying giggles and kisses, one of the Amis would get tired (Mostly Grantaire or Bossuet) and would make them go to their own apartment. Éponine would mostly ignore it, but not even the fact that the man she used to love was holding someone else could make her stop laughing at Grantaire's outbursts. Enjolras would mostly chuckle and steal a glance to the brunette, a knowing gleam in their eyes.
After their morning lectures, they would stay in the Musain, eat something and do some homework, but they both preferred their apartment. They would walk home in usual silence, walking close together but not touching, often signing something to the other. Yes, Éponine's life was going great, she could've never asked for something better, she was living with one of her best friends and was studying something she loved. Enjolras had become an important part of her life, she couldn't imagine living with someone else or sharing an apartment with a stranger. Sometimes she would feel so comfortable with him that she wondered if perhaps the way she was feeling was the right thing. She was afraid of falling in love again with someone who wouldn't return her affections.
It was a month later that she realized that it was already too late to stop her feelings. As he entered their place with loads of bags from the market place, she ran to help him and put them on the kitchen table. As she began putting away the milk and yogurt, she gasped with surprise as she realized that he was holding a large box of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They were their favorite, and she would always have two or three packages of the sweets in their cupboard. She turned to give him an excited look as her mouth hung open in surprise, the box of sweets pressed tightly against her chest.
"They were on special offer" he signed with a chuckle "I know how much you like them."
It may be stupid, but that's how she realized that she was deeply in love with him. She didn't want it, but it had just happened. That night they stayed up until late watching some Modern Family episodes, eating the chocolates and enjoying the company of the other. As she rested later in her bed, the low sound of his laugh echoed in her head and she bit her lip and swallowed the sob that threatened to escape, because she had never wanted someone to love her as much as she wants him to love her. God, she didn't even want to be in love with him, but now it was already too late for that.
Despite her growing feelings for him and her desire to confess it, Éponine remained silent and tried to move on. She knew Enjolras, and he was the kind of guy who tried to avoid relationships or any kind of distractions. He would never see her the way she wanted him to. But it was hard for her, sometimes when he was sitting on his desk, she got the urge to hug him from behind and bury her face in his neck. When he laughed, she wanted to make him keep laughing, because she was sure that that small sound is the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. Sometimes she wanted him to say her name, although she knew that it would be impossible, he hated to talk. Sometimes when he washed the dishes and she was drying them, she wanted to stand on her tiptoes and press a kiss to his cheek. She was going crazy, but not even in a million years would she reveal what she had inside. She wasn't willing to ruin a friendship with her silly feelings. She would be able to stop loving him some day, but for now, she was glad with being with him. Even when he didn't love her.
As they made their way to their apartment from the Musain, the fresh air hit her face and she closed her eyes enjoying the subtle breeze brushing her hair. The road where they were was empty, most of the students of the university already in some bar or somewhere else. It was a Friday, a day before Courfeyrac's birthday party, which was supposed to be the party of the year according to him. Enjolras had suggested on going to their place the moment the Musain began filling with college students, and she had gladly accepted. As they continue to walk in silence, she studied the buildings, some small corporations or restaurants. They were passing by the entrance of an alley when she heard it.
It was barely a whisper, a familiar voice calling for her. She stopped and turned around to face the alley. Then she heard it again, a low voice slurring her name. She took a step forward, but Enjolras stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She turned to face him, a confused expression in his face. She shook her head and shrugged, and then she felt something familiar. The way the hairs in the back of her neck stood, a chill running down her spine. She met Enjolras' gaze, who was looking over her shoulder with a frown. Almost fearful of turning around, she moved slowly. From the shadows emerged a man, his face hidden by the darkness of the alley, his neck appearing first and then his jaw, covered by scruff, lips curved in a malicious smirk and finally his eyes. Cold and threatening.
As Montparnasse walked slowly until he stood a few feet away from the pair, Éponine felt her stomach clench, the familiar smell of tobacco and dirt overwhelming her. She took a step back almost involuntarily, her back hitting Enjolras' chest. A part of her mind screamed to her to grab Enjolras' hand and run away. Montparnasse always meant trouble, and although the last time she had seen him had been a week before she left for college, she could still remember the countless times he had marred her body with bruises. She wanted to escape, but her feet were rooted to the spot, the only thing keeping her calm was the feeling of Enjolras' hand in the small of her back.
"Éponine" he greeted with a sly smile "Long time no see. I didn't know I would have the pleasure to see you again."
"Of course you knew I'd be here" she spat lifting her chin defiantly "And if you are here it only means that you want something."
"You know me so well, 'Ponine" he said with a cold laugh "I need cash. Your old man sent me to see if you had something to give us. With all this new life you have probably you already have some extra money hidden in you place."
"I don't have anything for you" she hissed, pushing Enjolras behind her once more before he would be able to stand in front of her protectively. She heard him growl quietly but she paid no mind to it, focusing her attention on Montparnasse "And even if I had, I would never give it to you."
"Your old man will be really angry if I return empty handed" he sneered with malice "And you don't want him to find out where you live now, do you?"
"Go away, 'Parnasse" she growled. She felt Enjolras' trying to tug her back behind him, but she yanked out of his grip and stepped closer to the man in front of her. "I don't have anything for that drunk or you."
"Come on, love, I know you do have something for us" he slurred, inching closer and grabbing her by the wrist. "I'm sure your new boyfriend will be glad to give some money to us. Or would you give us a share of what he pays to you to tangle in his sheets?"
"Shut up!" she said, her voice low and dangerous.
She couldn't see Enjolras, who was standing behind her, but she could feel his growing anger. Combeferre had once mentioned that Enjolras was a calm man, but when he was provoked, nothing could stop his fury. He was capable of being terrible. He wouldn't let any of his friends get hurt, he was silent, but the anger bubbling inside of him made him capable of destroying anyone. And she knew that he understood everything of what Montparnasse was saying.
"Come on, how much does he pay for your…favors?"
Before Éponine could react, Enjolras had grabbed the back of her shirt and yanked her back, throwing her body behind him. She stared wide-eyed as he moved forward with threatening grace. He saw Montparnasse raise his fist, but Enjolras was quicker and pushed him back with a great amount of force, sending him back a few meters.
"You stupid little rich boy" he snarled as he stood up "That whore isn't worth nothing!"
The man moved forward and tried to catch Enjolras' by the neck of his shirt, but he ducked down and instead sent a punch straight to his jaw. Montparnasse cried in surprise before a savage look appeared in his eyes. Éponine moved rapidly, moving to stand in front of Enjolras and pushing him back, turning to stare straight at Montparnasse, who moved forward and grabbed her wrist, twisting it painfully. She cried out in pain and Enjolras moved once again, punching the man in his stomach. Éponine stepped back with fear as she watched Montparnasse punch Enjolras back in his ribs, pushing him away.
"You think she's worth something?" Montparnasse shouted with an animalistic rage in his voice "She's nothing! You are willing to get killed for her? Answer me!"
Something inside Éponine snapped, and with a new found strength, she pushed Enjolras behind her and moved to stand once more in front of Montparnasse. With all the force she could, she slapped him. The noise of her palm against his cheek echoed around them, making the man waver on his feet. The terrible anger inside of her chest exploded and at that moment, she wasn't afraid, taking a step forward, he pushed him hard on his chest. His eyes were burning with hate, but before he could say something else, she pushed him once more.
"He's deaf, you bastard!" she yelled furiously, shoving him even further away, her eyes burning with a terrible glint "So fuck off and leave us alone!"
Montparnasse flinched visibly, his eyes widening ever so slightly, his gaze traveling to look over her shoulder. The silence was almost unbearable, her heavy breathing being the only thing that reminded her of what she had just done. She knew Montparnasse was a thug, thief, sometimes merciless and dangerous. But deep within him, she knew that he still had some decency left. His features twitched for a second before he began stepping back, his eyes traveling once more to her. Everything was silent as he recoiled back into the darkness of the alley, and it wasn't until he had disappeared completely that she let out the breath she hadn't noticed she was holding. Her shoulders slumped a little and she closed her eyes.
She jumped slightly when she felt Enjolras' hand on her shoulder. She moved her head without fully turning around. He was close to her, closer than she had imagined. She stole a glance to his face, his jaw tense and his eyes still burning with the ferocious glint she had witnessed.
"What did you say to him?" he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.
She let out a sigh, dropping her gaze to the ground and turning around slowly. He grabbed her by the shoulders and motioned her to look up.
"What did you say, Éponine?" he repeated, this time his lips settled in a firm line, his nostrils flaring.
She studied him intently, her hands beggining to shake visibly. She regretted what she had done. Of all the things Enjolras hated, being pitied was at the top of the list. That was one of the things with which she could identify herself with him. But at that moment, she hadn't thought about it, her only worry had been to keep him and herself safe. So as she raised her hands to sign, she prayed that he would forgive her.
"I…I told him that…" She trailed off, her gaze dropping to the floor once more as her bottom lip trembled. He put a hand on her forearm and dipped his head slightly to catch her eyes, urging her to go on. She took a deep breath and finished."I told him that you were deaf."
His features darkened visibly, a sea of emotions swirling in his eyes and changing several times. His jaw tightened, clenching it in an attempt to keep himself calm. His blue eyes narrowed, studying her intently before dropping to the floor. Suddenly, he let go of her arm as if she was burning him. She opened her mouth as if to say something and took a step forward, but he raised a hand and took a step further away from her. He then looked up, his dark eyes troubled. Slowly, he shook his head and turned around, leaving her behind. It was worse than she had believed it would be, but she wasn't going to let go without a fight, so she ran after him.
Éponine sat on the couch, her eyes following him as he paced around the room, his breathing hard as his mouth opened trying to take in some air too, his hands running through his hair in frustration. She had never seen him like that: he seemed like a caged lion, furious and powerless at the same time. He had burst the door opened and walked inside, Éponine had followed him closely, trying to make him look at her. His cold eyes were on hers briefly, and it was at that moment he managed to sign with shaky hands that he wasn't angry at her. She stepped back confused, but somehow relieved that his anger was not directed at her.
She observed him as he continued to pace, looking like if with each step his anger just grew even more. Suddenly he stopped and rested his back on the wall. He closed his eyes and breathed heavily, his hands flying again to his curls and running his fingers through them. Éponine jumped when he let out a terrible roar, charged with the most terrible fury she had ever heard before. His chest fell and rose with each breath he took.
"Sometimes, I think it would be the best if I would just disappear, you know? I just hate the fact that I cannot even stand up for myself and all because I can't hear! It's infuriating! To know that they are saying something, but you don't understand it! And they treat you differently! They look at you with pity, because you are the poor deaf boy who needs help!"
Éponine felt her heart constrict painfully inside her chest several times before she managed to stand up. She approached him carefully, studying him as he fought an inner battle with himself, his fists clenched and knuckles white from the pressure. Without a warning, his eyes snapped open and a growl left his lips before his fist connected with the door of the kitchen -hard- several times, the skin of his knuckles turning red faster and faster. She ran until she reached him and pulled him away from the door by the shoulder. He turned around to see her, his eyes fierce and wild. He shook his shoulder surprisingly gently to let go of her grasp, his bruised hands lifting to sign.
"I hate myself, I hate being like this. I know it's wrong, but sometimes I can't help to feel this way. So weak and powerless! I should've been the one to defend you from him! Not you! I can't even protect the ones I care about! I could've just said to him to fuck off, like normal people do…but I couldn't! Because I didn't know what he was saying! And you had to fight him!"
Without knowing exactly what she was doing, she grabbed his shaking hand in hers, careful to not touch the bruised skin. He stopped his frantic movements and looked down to her, his eyes stormy and glassy with unshed tears. She walked to the couch and sat down, pulling him down with her. He held her hands tightly, as if afraid of letting go. But suddenly, he broke.
A heart-breaking sob escaped his lips, which then turned into frantic cries as he let all his frustration and impotence out. She placed a hand on his head and motioned him to rest on her shoulder. She bit down hard, sensing the metallic taste of blood at her lip and trying not to cry. His hand circled her waist tightly, his head resting against her shoulder as he sobbed uncontrollably his fears. Silent tears fell down her cheeks as her hand caressed his hair tenderly, trying to calm him and make him feel comforted. He had held her like this many months ago, scaring her pain and fears away. But now it was her turn to hold him. So she did.
"Sometimes…I think I'm not strong enough to go on."
As soon as his hands were down once more, she held him even tighter. His sobs slowly faded away, but he kept the grip on her waist and hand. It was then when she took the chance to speak to him. Removing her hands from him, she slowly raised them, surprised when he slipped down, his head resting on her lap. His eyes connected with hers, a current of electricity running through her body at the sight of despair and frustration in them. Trying to hide her own pain, she stroked his hair softly before signing.
"What happened today is not your fault, nor what happens tomorrow. Montparnasse is an idiot." She stated, a soft expression in her face, yet a serious glint in her eyes.
Enjolras looked at her quizzically, his hands moving so he could sign "Mountain?"
She smiled slightly and shook her head before spelling out his name, letter by letter. When Enjolras nodded in understanding, she continued.
"He's an idiot, and you couldn't have stopped him from doing what he did. You showed today how truly strong you are, Enj. You fought back, you stood up for me. And no one had ever done that for me before. You cannot hear, but that doesn't mean that you are weak or worthless. You are extraordinary, you are incredible"
Tears had begun to fall down once more from his cheeks, and with her fingers she wiped them away. Carefully, she grabbed his hand, touching slightly the purple marks in his knuckles. She lifted her gaze to see him, meeting his curious gaze as he observed her through blurry eyes. She let go of his hand, a few tears spilling from her eyes and a sad smile in her lips.
"Besides, who would protect me if you go away?"
He shut his eyes tightly, his sobs growing once more as he held her waist tightly, moving slightly so now his cheek was pressed against her stomach. She stroked his hair, lulling him to sleep, his breathing returning to a normal pace as his hold slackened a bit. She remained awake several hours without moving, too scared to wake him up. Instead, she rested a hand on his chest as the other continued to caress his hair tenderly. She had never seen him like this before, and she doubted that any of the Amis had either. This side of him, his vulnerable side, was overwhelming. It was as if he had shown her his human side. Normally, he would be cold, severe and sometimes rude with everyone. That's why they called him the marble-man.
But that night, it had been as if all the anger and frustration that had been growing inside of him had finally reached its limit and burst out. She was somehow happy that it had been with her, that he had trusted her enough to reveal his fears to her, just as she had done before. She looked at his face, glad that the sorrow and pain that had been there hours ago had finally vanished. He was the strongest man she had ever met before, and somehow she hoped, that he would finally understand it. Because she had spoken the truth when she said that she would be lost without him.
After that night, everything returned to normal, a feeling of closeness lingering between the two of them. They moved on, they kept studying until late and sharing afternoons watching movies. Courfeyrac's party had been a success, and almost the whole campus had been there. Although Enjolras hated parties, Éponine had managed to convince him to go, and in the end he had enjoyed himself. Although he never admitted it. Days continue to pass, but it wasn't until Éponine finally finished the most important project of the semester that she finally realized that she had barely seen Enjolras the last couple of days.
Thinking that she was just being paranoid, she decided to ignore it. But then, she also noticed that he would leave the Musain earlier, giving an excuse about the library and Jehan. She tried to go with him but he refused, saying that it would be too boring. He then would leave and she wouldn't see him until late that night, when he arrived to their place with slumped shoulders and a frown in his face. Other nights he would come with a satisfied grin, and others he would just avoid her completely. Something inside of Éponine began to scream that there was something going on with him, but despite her curiosity, she chose to ignore it. If he wanted to tell her what was going on, then he would.
One particular Friday night, her frustration had reached and incredible limit and she had decided to finally confront him. When the door opened, she stood up, ready to sign what she was thinking. But before she was able to say something, he was already signing.
"Let´s go to the movies tomorrow night." He signed, his eyes sparkling with something she couldn't identify "Feuilly got me tickets for the premiere of The King's Speech."
She raised a brow with suspicion "You sure? I know how you hate historical movies about monarchy. And it won't have subtitles."
He waved his hand and shrugged "That's okay. I think I'll be able to manage trying to understand what they say with those heavy British accents of theirs. Besides, I know how much you love Colin Firth."
"I do love him" she giggled before plopping down on the couch once more "You win, let's go tomorrow."
The next night, they arrived at the cinema just in time, so they had a chance to buy popcorn and sodas before entering to the auditorium. There were people scattered all around the place and Enjolras guided her to their seats. They sat comfortably and he handed her the popcorn before getting his hand inside his pocket looking for something. As she looked around the place, popping some popcorn inside her mouth, she suddenly felt the strong urge to rest her head in his shoulder. It was details like that that caused Éponine to believe that perhaps she wasn't the only one feeling something for the other. But probably she was wrong, he was undecipherable, and she would never know.
He offered her a bag of M&M´s which he opened before he poured them over the popcorn. She beamed before shaking the box lightly so the candies sprawled around the popcorn. It had been probably two weeks after they had moved in together that they discovered their mutual fascination of mixing the candies with the popcorn, so from that night on they always did it. She giggled before taking a bunch of the popcorn, making sure to grab some chocolates too and raising them to his mouth. He opened it willingly and she threw the mix inside. She laughed as some of the popcorn fell onto his lap, which only earned her a groan from him.
As the movie began, she slid down her seat, the box of popcorn in her lap. She had been waiting for this movie since it was announced, she had always been fascinated by historical movies, and the fact that her favorite actor was in it just added something more to her excitement. Throughout the entire movie, her eyes never left the screen, but she could've sworn that Enjolras had stolen a glance or two to her. Without wanting to, her heart quickened a bit, but soon she ignored it, too focused on what was happening on the screen. It was the third time that she caught him, but instead of looking away, he held it, a soft smile in his lips.
"What?" she signed, a brow raised with amusement.
He shook his head, but answered. "Nothing. It's just that you look really happy."
"Thank you" she signed, resting her head on his shoulder.
She looked away, a soft blush coloring her cheeks as her stomach fluttered in response. She had just acted on an impulse, but as she felt his arm over her shoulders, a silly smile appeared in her lips. They remained like that for the rest of the movie. As they walked out of the cinema, Éponine couldn't stop signing frantically her thoughts about the movie and how much she had loved it. Enjolras paid attention to whatever she said, a chuckle leaving his lips as she repeated for the third time how good Colin Firth had been. Without realizing it, Enjolras guided her to a Hot-Dog cart. The place was rather nice, some tables scattered around and pendant lights hanging from a tree which covered most of the sidewalk. Éponine ordered for them and they sat, eating their dinner in content silence.
It had been by far the best night she'd ever had. And not only because the guy she was in love with had been with her all that time, but because for the first time, she felt comfortable with being who she truly was. They finished their dinner and continued on their way to their apartment. At some point, she felt his hand slowly brush hers, grasping it gently. She smiled to herself and intertwined their fingers together. When they reached their place, he opened the door and turned on the lights as she put her coat on the hanger and her purse on the table.
"Thank you for all of this" she signed walking to him, a beaming smile in her face "I really enjoyed it"
"I'm glad you did" he signed back, his hand flying to the back of his neck and rubbing it uncomfortably.
They stood in silence for several minutes, waiting for the other to say something more. Éponine looked up to him, her eyes wide and glowing with expectancy. He looked down, his throat suddenly dry. With the light of the room, Éponine admired for the first time the green freckles his eyes had, the clearest blue she had ever seen before. He raised his hands several times, not sure of what to do. She knew he wanted to say something, but something was stopping him. She took a step forward and it was then when he decided to do it.
"Éponine I…" his eyes glowed with uncertainty, his hands dropping to his sides once more. He let out a sight before continuing "I should go to bed. Goodnight."
And with that he turned around and left her behind, standing baffled in the same spot he had been. She bit her lip hard trying not to cry. Why was she building false hopes? She knew that she would never get what she wanted, and she needed to realize it now before it destroyed their friendship. And that was the last thought in her mind as she buried her face in her pillows, drifting almost immediately into a dreamless sleep.
At first she had thought it was just a dream. But then, she felt it again, a soft pressure on her shoulder. Éponine pried one eye open and turned her head in the direction she had felt the pressure. Letting out a yawn, she straightened when she realized that it was Enjolras who had woken her. He was kneeling by her side, one of his hands on her shoulder. In the darkness she could see every detail of his face, the contours of his strong jaw and the bridge of his nose outlined by the faint light of the moon that filtered through the heavy curtains. She unfurled one of her legs and made the move to get up, but he stopped her with one hand on her shoulder.
She laid back again, a confused expression in her face. His eyes were shining slightly, blue meeting brown as she felt the tiredness slipping away from her body slowly, soon being replaced by some kind of sense of alert. But one look from him made her relax: his eyes were gentle and unconcerned, studying her face. Suddenly, the corners of his mouth turned up in a soft smile, and she couldn't help but smile back. Perhaps it was just a dream.
Then she felt it, his hand slowly searching for hers, finding it and intertwining them together. His warmth made her feel relaxed as he held it, rubbing soothing circles in the back of her palm with his thumb. Her gaze flew from their hands to his face, the same expression of adoration written in it. She decided to stand up, but then again he stopped her. He then moved closer to her, his face now inches from hers, his breath hitting it, the scent of coffee and old books overwhelming her. And his scent, that purely masculine scent that made her light-headed.
His eyes were filled with curiosity, searched for something in hers for a long moment. When he finally decided that he had found what he had been looking for, he tilted his head to one side and placed his free hand over her cheek, his thumb grazing her cheekbone softly. She closed her eyes, her breath catching in her throat, feeling the edge of the bed dipping under his weight. She opened them again, just to find his face now just a breath away from hers. Shivering with anticipation, she felt his lips slowly press against her cheek, burning her skin with its soft touch. And then, it happened. What she had never expected him to do.
"Éponine," he whispered, his voice hoarse and low "Éponine. I…love…you."
Her eyes widened, mouth opened with surprise as she stared at him dumbfounded. His brow furrowed in concern and he lifted his hands to sign, taking her silence as a bad answer.
"Did I say it right?"
A beaming smile grazed her lips, her dimples appearing almost immediately. Swallowing hard the lump forming in her throat, she nodded gently. He seemed to calm down, his body relaxing visibly before he leaned forward once more. Her eyes fluttered closed at his proximity, her heart beating hard inside her chest, and just for a moment, she could've sworn that she could hear his heartbeat too. His lips placed a kiss in her cheek before ghosting her skin until he was right next to her ear.
"I love you."