Thanks for the reviwes. Please keep them going. It really helps me coming up with everything.

Yours, Yana

Out of reach

Chapter 6

Pacey's hand shook as he held his phone to his ear.

'Douglas Witter?' The voice of his brother. He almost let out a laugh of relieve.

'Hey Doug, this is Pacey...' His brother remained silent for a moment than let out a small breath. 'Pacey?' He asked in disbelieve.

'Yeah man, I wanted to ask you something...'

'No.' Doug answered in an unyielding tone.

'Wh..what?' Pacey couldn't believe it. 'no?'

'No.' Doug repeated. 'Before you get to ask me anything, I'll ask you something and until I get an answer, you won't get your answer either. Am I perfectly clear?'

Pacey sat on the huge couch in his living-room. One hand in his hair. He just knew, that he wouldn't get through to Doug and he couldn't blame him.

'Well than, spill it.' He replied in a croaky voice.

'What's going on Pacey?' Doug ask, with suppressed anger unmistakable in his voice. 'Where the hell are you, Pacey? And why don't you just come home?' He almost yelled at this piont and Pacey winced.

'Can't answer that, Doug.'

'Well. I guess than you won't get your answer either, little brother.' His voice now a little shaky with irritation.

Pacey's heart was beating furiously. 'Please Doug, I need an answer...', he said in a low voice, trying to keep calm, but his concern obvious to hear.

'Am too!' Doug replied and his heart broke for his brother. He knew just what he wanted to know and he knew what he wanted to tell him.

'Okay, I'm at the Seychelles right now, if you must know. And now...'

'Where?' Doug's eyes widened with disbelieve. 'You kidding me, right?'

'No Doug.' Pacey answered as he looked through the round window of his apartment. 'I'm perfectly honest.'

Doug waged his head. 'At the Seychelles, huh? Oh. I forgot to tell you, that I currently dwell on the moon, Pacey. Don't take the mik out of me.'

Pacey took one deep breath. Tried again to calm himself. 'Doug, please. I'm telling you the truth. I would prove it to you. Please, Doug. I need an answer.'

Doug was now outside the B&B and paced up and down in front of the door.

'Okay then, I'll be honest too. Shoot.'

Pacey could tell, he didin't believe him, but he had to give it a try. 'I just...' His voice became quiet and his breath was short. 'Please Doug, I just want to know, if Joey is all right. I couldn't reach her the other day and I'm worrying like hell.'

Doug nodded and stopped. His face all hard and in his heart he had so much anger and so deep love for his brother, that his voice was shaking as he replied.

'You want to know, hu? All of a sudden... Do you at least have the slightest idea, what you've put her through?' Pacey blinked and was taken by surprise by the strong emotional response of his brother. 'You broke her, Pacey. She's shuttered. Nothing is all right, if you need to know.' He exchanged a short look with Jen, who suddenly has appeared in the door frame and looked at him appalled. 'I'll tell you something. The night you called, she took sleeping pills. A whole lot of them.' He let his words sank in.

Pacey's face fell and all color left it. Hadn't he been sitting, his legs hadn't held him now for sure. He felt like someone had taken the floor beneath his feet. He stroke a hand trough his hair. His heart sank, his stomach itched and he felt stabbed.

'No...' He whispered and looked in shook at the hugely smiling face of his girl, that hung on the wall right in front of him. 'Please Doug, don't scoff with me, this isn't funny.'

'You bet it isn't.' He swallowed hard. 'She cried her soul out, Pacey. She waited for you. Every day she went to the port and hoped you magically reappeared somehow and make her whole again. Even through all of winter.' Pacey's heart fell and he felt worse than he felt ever in his life. Doug couldn't possibly be talking about Joey. She was strong and smart and surly she knew, that he couldn't come back during winter. His eyes teared up. 'But you didn't. And now, Pacey, she's gone.' He said in a sharp voice.

Pacey let go of the phone, that landed on the soft carpet. He heard the voice of his brother telling some other things. Heard him calling. Pacey's tears running free over is cheeks, he buried his face in his hands and torn his hair. He stood, took the phone and chuck it onto the wall, than he sank on the floor and cried in heartfelt sobs. Tightened his legs as Joey would do and buried his face on them. Not believing what he'd heard. This couldn't be true. It mustn't. But if it was, he could never get home again. Couldn't look any of them in the eyes ever again.

'Don't you think, you were to harsh on him?' Jen asked with horrified wide eyes. 'You could instead have tried to convince him to get back here.' Jen looked at him challenging.

'I did.'

'No!' Jen shook her head and looked at Doug with clear incomprehencion. 'No Doug. You scarred him away. Even more, than he already was.'

'But I...'

'Couldn't you just let him know, that she's ok? That she'll want nothing more, than for him to return and take the pain away. Tell her that he never stopped loving her? That she want nothing more than to hold him in her arms again. That she wait for him?'

Doug's eyes narrowed as he tried to understand, what she was saying.

'What do you say here, Jen?'

'That you just told him, Joey's committed suicide.' Jen stated and Bessie, who stood in the door frame nodded.

'But that is not...'

'Yeah Doug. But that is clearly, what he made of your words.' Jen pouted her lips and than touched his arm. 'Come on in, Doug. We'll figure something out.'

Doug nodded and followed them like a beaten dog. Sat on the kitchen table and brushed aside his coffee and cake. Suddenly he'd lost all appetite.

Audrey knocked at Pacey's door. He was due in the kitchen and never appeared. She excused him, told them he had a nausea and since this was his first sick leave nobody asked any questions. But for some reason she was worried like hell as he didn't answer the door.

She had looked everywhere. Knocked at his door, as nobody answered she looked in the gym, at the pool, again in the kitchen... everywhere she would expect him, but he was nowhere to be found and slowly she became seriously worried.

'Pacey!' She shouted and knocked again. 'Please open that damn door.' She knocked again. 'Don't make me call security to break in. Open! That! Damn! Door!... NOW!'

She heard a quiet noise from inside the room and than the lock clacked. She opened the door and took a step back.

There he stood, all wrecked down. His eyes red, the heavy smell of alcohol in the air. 'Sit if you must.' He lulled at her and let himself plop on the armchair, grabbing his open beer. The whole coffee-table was covered with tidily arranged empty beer bottles.

'So, would you care to tell me who you are and what has happen to Pacey? Because you' She pointed at him after she'd closed the door. 'Can't impossibly be that handsome, clever man I saw last night.'

'Nope. He left earlier and left me here.' Pacey lulled and took another sip. 'I'm his evil twin.'

Audrey sat on the couch. Without a word she grabbed the last bottle, opened it with a switch of her hand. Gesturing a 'cheers', she swallowed some of the liquid an gave an satisfied 'ah!'

'So - what did you do to him?'

'He called his brother, after he called his girl but couldn't reach her.'

Audrey raised a brow.

'But he said, he couldn't call her. So, pray - why did he?'

'Because, some particular friend of his', he raised an eyebrow and pointed at her with the bottleneck of his beer, 'made him remorse.'

'So...?'

'After he couldn't reach her after the hundreth time or so, he began to worry and couldn't sleep. So he called her again and again and again and so forth. Leaving massages on her answering machine' He emptyed his bottle and reached for the last one, but Audrey just held her bottle up and he shook his head.

'Oh, mean girl!'

'That's me', she smiled and took another luxurious gulp.

'Well.' He shrugged and lean back. 'He couldn't reach her.'

'And than he get guts and called his brother?' Her voice oozed with sarcasm.

'Pretty much, yeah.'

'And what did he say?' Pacey eyes clouded over and his voice got croaky. He swallowed and than looked her directly in the eyes. 'That she took an overdose of sleeping pills and he can count jet another beloved ones life on his conscience.'

Audrey looked at him in pure disbelieve. Knowing, that Joey's assistant clearly hadn't agreed to talk Joey in any contract if she was dead.

'Pacey... This can't be true.' She shook her head. 'When did you speak with your brother?'

'Yesterday, right after I came from you.'

'And when was this supposed to have happened?'

'I don't know, Audrey!' He got all angry. 'And it doesn't matter altogether. She's...', he swallowed and his face became shell-shocked. '...dead.' A stupid grin made it's way on his handsome face. '...or gone as my brother put it.'

Yeah, gone may be the truth. Because this Assistant mentioned Joey on a sick leave, as she spoke with her almost a week ago.

She put a hand on his and looked at him closely. Not wanting to give anything away, just in case. 'I think, you should call him again. And ask him, what he meant by gone. Maybe she's in a hospital.' She tried to look reassuring. 'You know. Not everybody that took sleeping pills dies.'

'Please leave me, Audrey. I...' She saw his eyes tearing up. 'I really need to be alone tonight.' His voice was shaky and he swallowed hard.

Audrey stood. 'Okay, you got it. But don't do anything stupid, Pacey.' She placed a kiss on his forehead. 'And don't forget, there's diner night tomorrow.'

'Will be there. Bye Audrey.'

'Bye Pacey', she said and quietly closed the door as she left. This can't happen. It mustn't!

Joey sat in the soft evening light in a wicker swing on Aunt Gwen's patio, watched the sun go down in thousand wonderful reds, pinks and oranges. She was covered with a light blanket and smiled a little happy smile. She was at Gwen's for at least ten days now and she felt all better.

'Here' Gwen appeared behind her and offered her a bowl of hot herbal tea.

'Thanks' Joey smiled at her. 'For everything, really. I'm so glad I could stay here.'

'I'm glad you came, girly.' Gwen smiled back and sat in a comfortable armchair. Watched the sunset with Joey and drank her tea slowly.

Joey sighed.

'You know, after the vacation we've had here a lifetime ago, and you caught Pacey and me kissing?'

'Yes?' Gwen smiled at the memory.

'Well, I was not sure than. I mean, he made my inside melt and my heart beat fast, gave me butterflies all over and made my head spin. The bare thought of him made me want to be near him.' Her thoughts drifted away and Gwen sat silent, waiting for her to continue. Joey sighed. 'We bounded earlier that summer over his beloved ship. We made her seaworthy in fact and he named her True Love. I didn't get, that he had fallen for me by that time, because I spent all my time, waiting for Dawson, you know?' Gwen nodded, but said nothing. 'Dawson got all furious when I told him about Pacey and me, and I... I torn Pacey down. And not just once, you know. He waited the whole year for me to finally stay with him, but I couldn't hurt Dawson so I kept hurt Pacey. So many times. But than, suddenly I knew, he was the one I wanted and I ran all the way down to the port.'

Tears came up her eyes, but she smiled. 'You know. We sailed the whole summer and as we came back, my first way was to Dawson. Again.' She sniffed, but cared not wipe away her tears. He had nothing but derision and anger. Asked me, if I finally understood, that Pacey would never love me the way he did.' Joey swallowed. 'But I knew. I knew, that Dawson's love for me would always be innocent and I wanted to be with Pacey. He made me feel alive and loved and, I don't know... like a better person altogether. Whole. So I turned and get back to the boat, where I found Pacey, naturally.' She smiled. 'And it was as if I came home. It always was. You know? Every time I got sad, or homesick after mom or for no reason at all, he just took my hand, wrapped me in his warm embrace, covered me with this strong and confident arms of his, and I felt as if nothing could ever harm me ever again. And I'm homesick, Aunt Gwen. My north is gone...' She bit her lip. 'Pacey waited for Dawson and than, one day, he stood on his doorstep and Pacey just looked at him, with a relieved smile, took him in his arms and pattered his back Hey man, long time no seen... Yeah, Dawson said. Wanna get out for a beer? And Pacey only Sure man, I just waited for you. nodded, kissed me goodbye and was gone. That was what he'd wanted most. And than he asked me to marry him and there was really only one answer. Shortly after that there was that horrible accident and now he is gone...' She fell silent. 'He left his ring, but even worse... the name tag of his ship.' She fell silent and drank her tea. 'You know, the most precious memories are linked to that boat. I loved that summer. I've never felt so free. And loved. He proposed there, naturally.' Joey laughed.

Gwen looked at her, wondering where Joey was going with all that.

'I think I will take the offer my assistant had told me about.' She bit her lip but looked confident and smiled. 'What do you think?'

'I think, that is a splendid idea, girly.' Gwen smiled. 'And you deserve it.'

'But it would be at least for six month.'

'Jep!'

'And if he comes back, while I am gone?'

'Joey, dear.' Gwen lent in and took one of Joey's hand sin her own warm hands. 'He will wait for you.'

'Yeah, I guess he will...' Joey smiled. 'But before I leave, I have to do something.'

'Pacey... Pacey, please wait.' Audrey grabbed him on the arm, but he just tried to shake it off.

'I've got no time, Audrey. I'm already late.' But he stopped whatsoever, looking at her with dreadful eyes.

'I just thought... Maybe you could call her Assistant. Surely she must know, if Joey is... well, dead.' Her eyes avoiding eye contact with him and shifted uncomfortable.

'Why are you saying this?' Pacey's eyes narrowed and his gaze intensified. 'Audrey?'

'Just...' She gave him an almost shy smile. 'just because I can't bear it, to see you all sad and withdrawn.'

'And what I'm supposed to say, Audrey? Hey, it's me Pacey Witter, you probably remember me, I'm the guy Josephine Potter was supposed to marry. I just wanted to ask if she's still alive?' He almost spat the words in her face, anger and pain in his beautiful eyes. 'No, thanks.' He turned around and was about to leave.

'But I could call...?' Audrey offered unconfident.

'You would do that?' Pacey stopped and turned around once more. 'Sure, why not?' She stepped closer and took one of his hands in hers. 'Pacey - you're my friend. The only one actually. And well... What do we have to lose?'

He sat on one of the benches and looked up at her. 'Yeah, well. What do we have to lose?'

She smiled a huge smile. 'Brilliantly.' She floped beside him and put out her phone. 'So, here you go.'

She dialed a number and as he looked at her quizzeld she just smiled and mouthed directory assistance.

Joey sat opposite to Caroline, who painted her toenails.

'Sure baby, I just knew, you wouldn't let such an opportunity slip through your fingers.' She smiled self-satisfied.

The phone rang. She looked at Joey apologizing but she nodded her approval.

'Potter's Arthouse, you speak to Caroline Harper. What can I do for you?'

'Good morning. I just wanted to know, if Miss Potter will attend her big exhibition, because I would very much like to get an autograph.' Caroline smiled.

'I'm sorry, Miss Potter will unfortunately not attend the exhibition.' She paused to let the other woman speak. 'No, everything is just fine. She will just be on a really long business trip. In fact, she's sitting next to me... yeah... sure.'

She shrugged and handed Joey the phone. 'Hello, Miss Potter speaking.' As no answer came she narrowed her eyebrows and looked confused to Caroline. 'Hello? Anybody there..?' She shrugged. 'Hung up I guess.' She shrugged. 'So when do I leave?'

'Your flight is booked for monday.'

Joey nodded. 'Could I take Jen?'

'Sure' Caroline smiled. 'I booked two seats.'

'You just know me too well by now, Caro.' Joey smiled hugely.

'I guess so' Caroline replyed and went back to painting her toenails.

Audrey smiled hugely satisfied at Pacey beside her. She was pleased like hell with the expression on his face. His features softened and he let out a breath of utter relieve. Than, all of a sudden he stand and swirled her through the air. She squirked with surprise but wrapped her arms around his neck and let her head fall back.

As he slowly put her on her feet again he smiled at her and kissed her on each cheek. 'You just made my day, Aud.' He looked into her eyes. 'I'm sorry.' He smiled shyly. 'And thank you. I don't know, what I would have done without you.'

He hugged her and held her for a few moments. 'I owe you one.' Than he placed a soft kiss in her golden hair. 'But now I have to go. Work's calling. Bye Aud.'

'Bye Pacey.' She smiled as she watched him go and wondered, what he would do by the time he would know...

'Joey!' Jen squirked as she walked down the street, her shopping bag in one hand. She dropped it on the sidewalk and came running towards Joey. The two friends hugged each other for a long time.

'Joey, sweety, it's so good to see you again.' She took a close look at her fried who smiled at her with sparkling eyes. 'You look so much better, love.'

'Yeah, I'm feeling much better.' Joey smiled and bit her lower lip. 'It's good to see you too, Jen.'

'What are you doing? When did you come back?'

'Early this morning. What does it look like I'm doing? I paint this wall.' Joey pointed towards said wall with her white brush.

'Yeah, I can see that.' Jen nodded. 'But what for? Are you throwing the whole art-thing and going to paint walls?'

'Nope', Joey laughed. 'I'll leave Pacey a massage.'

Jen narrowed her eyes. 'Have you heard anything about Pacey?'

'No, should I?' Joey asked and raised one eyebrow. Jen shook her head instantly and decided not to tell her about that certain phone call. At least not jet. 'You said you're leaving a massage. Do you leave?' Jen changed the subject and hoped, that Joey would bite.

Joey nodded and her whole face lit up. 'Yes and in fact, I've want to ask you something important.'

'Shoot.' Jen looked at her curious and Joey rolled her eyes and smiled a beaming smile.

'You wanna come with me on a cruise?'

'Wh-what?' Jen almost swallowed up and laughed. 'You kidding me, right?'

Please take a minute and let me know what you think. This chapter was not an easy write, so I would be grateful for any feedback.

The next will be better, I promise.

And the question is: Would you like a reuinion in Chapter 7?