Oh she was going to kill him. He was sure of it. She had been forgiving over the Coonan thing, but this? He was a dead man walking for sure.
Though claiming to be single, Richard Castle is rumored to be romantically involved with NYPD detective, Kate Beckett. The inspiration for Nikki Heat, the heroine of his latest bestselling novel. Bachelor number nine may not be eligible for next year's list.
Sure, she hadn't seemed quite as annoyed by him as usual lately. And after the Coonan case, he'd actually been able to get her to admit that she liked having him around. But this? Tabloid rumors that they were dating? She wasn't going to be okay with that. Not one bit.
But when he joined her at the crime scene, preparing himself for the worst, she acted as though she hadn't even seen the article, which meant that she probably hadn't. Castle spent the better part of his morning trying to keep her away from the newspaper and the knowing grins of Ryan and Esposito. Maybe she never had to find out. Maybe -
A witness just ruined his morning of hard work.
"There's a picture of you in the paper?" Kate asks, turning her curious gaze on him.
"So are you the detective girlfriend?" the witness, Michelle, asks before Castle can answer her.
If he didn't know any better, he'd swear that Kate Beckett was blushing.
"I'm sorry, the what?" she asks, the pinkish red still blossoming across her face.
"He is such a catch," Michelle keeps going on, paying no mind to Kate's interjections.
Kate cuts her eyes back to Castle. He had expected to see anger there, swirling behind her irises, but he's met only with something he recognizes as confusion.
"Show me," she tells him.
He spies the paper sitting around in the break room and sheepishly retrieves it for her while Michelle excuses herself from the room. Castle watches her read it, still waiting for her anger to flare. But she remains surprisingly calm. Something is not right here.
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Detective Beckett?" he asks as she puts the paper back down.
Kate sighs. "Do you really go around telling people that we're romantically involved?"
"No," Castle says slowly. "Because we're not."
"And how can they consider you an eligible bachelor if they think we're involved?"
"It does say rumored to be - seriously, Beckett, I was prepared for you to wring my neck over this. And you're okay with it?"
"Of course I'm not okay with it," she starts, jabbing a finger at the paper. "But what's the use in getting mad at you over it? You didn't write the article."
"Since when are you so rational?" he asks with a smirk.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm always the rational one. Now anyway, back to Michelle."
He lets her talk about the case, but his mind is already drifting elsewhere. He starts thinking about the latest e-mail from Katie again. The one asking if there was something more going on between him and his partner, between him and Beckett. The one that ever since he read, he's noticed a subtle change in said partner. It almost has him wondering if Katie is Beckett. If she's the one planting these ideas in his head because she's the one who wants them there.
But if he's being honest with himself, it's more like she's watering the ideas instead of planting them because they've been there. He's the one who admitted he didn't want to lose her from his life. He's the one who likes the fact that they're in a rumored relationship. And so yeah, to answer the question from whomever is asking, he wants something more with his partner. And with the way she's been acting lately, she just might want that too.
"I have a problem," Kate announces, walking into the morgue.
"Not as much of a problem as Mr. Bishop has since he's on my table and all," Lanie responds, pulling off her gloves. "But go ahead."
"It's about NYwriter," she starts, chewing on her lower lip.
Lanie's face lights up. "Oooo your online man candy. What's the problem? Did he show you a picture and you no longer find him attractive? Is he married?"
"He's Castle."
Lanie raises an eyebrow at her. "He's Castle as in they could be twins personality wise or -"
"Or he's actually Castle," Kate finishes for her. "You know my shadow? It's him."
"And you have definitive proof?"
"He literally told me that it was him. And he was messaging me about Coonan a few days ago all freaked out."
"Wait, wait, wait. You know that it's him, but he doesn't know that it's you?"
Kate shrugs. "I don't think he knows. I've been telling him my name is Katie, which isn't a complete lie, and I've been trying really hard not to reveal any facts about myself that would give my identity away."
"So, do you have a game plan here?" Lanie asks, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I think he's falling for me," Kate says softly.
Lanie's eyes widen. "In online life or real life?"
"Real life. His e-mail after the Coonan thing, he sounded so terrified that he'd let me down and that I wasn't going to want him around anymore."
"And how does real you versus online you feel about this?"
"I - I think I'm falling for him too and it terrifies me. Because just before all of this e-mailing started I was saying that I would never go out with him. So what's changed?"
Lanie gives her a soft smile. "I haven't read your e-mails, but I would guess that he's shown you another side of himself in them. One that doesn't make him seem like that nine-year-old anymore. When are you going to tell him?"
"I can't just wait for him to figure it out?" Kate winces.
"You could do that. But he's told you that he is who he is. So when he finds out, he'll know that you knew it was him the whole time and that you didn't say anything."
"See, I told you I had a problem."
"Look wait until you're ready," Lanie tells her. "Because I know this is a big step for you. Just don't wait too long. And try not to push him away, Kate. I really do think he could be good for you."
He's been staring at his laptop screen with her e-mail open for far too long. He wants to respond, but can't find the words to say. His mind is stuck on the idea he had earlier today that he's been talking to Beckett this whole time, but he has no real proof that it's her. Katie is a common name and not one his Kate goes by. His Kate. Like she belongs to him or something. And if it is really her, she knows that it's him and hasn't said anything. But then again, would he have said anything if he had been the one to figure it out first?
His computer pings with the now familiar sound of an IM. She's online. Whoever she is.
Coffelover19: Did my last e-mail scare you away?
Castle smiles to himself as he starts typing.
NYwriter: Not at all. I was just trying to figure out how to respond.
Coffeelover19: So then it got you thinking about her and what she means to you.
Oh god if this really is Beckett, does he risk it all by putting it all out there on display? What he needs to know is if this is really her, or just a random thought that popped into his head because he wants it to be her.
NYwriter: It did. But the conclusion I came to was nothing surprising.
It takes her a moment to respond, and her hesitation only increases his suspicions.
Coffeelover19: Care to share this conclusion?
If he tells her, maybe she'll reveal that it's really her. Or maybe it will just scare her away. Castle takes the risk anyway, hoping he knows her like he thinks he does.
NYwriter: I don't know if you saw the Ledger today, but I was named the 9th most eligible bachelor in the city. Accompanying that article was a blurb suggesting that I was in a romantic relationship with my partner. Now that part isn't true, we've never been more than partners or friends. And when I went into the Ledger today, partly for a case and partly to clear up the confusion, my contact there tried to set me up with number three on the city's most eligible bachelorette list. If this had happened a few months ago, I would have jumped at the opportunity to go out with this woman. But I turned her down.
Coffelover19: And why did you do that?
NYwriter: Because at that moment, my partner popped her in head back into the room and asked if I was coming (not in that way get your mind out of the gutter) and I couldn't focus on anything besides her smile.
He's answered with another long silence. So this is either Beckett coming to terms with all of this, or Katie is realizing that she doesn't have a shot with him because he's already fallen for someone else.
Coffeelover19: Do you love her?
Does he?
NYwriter: I don't think it's at the level of love yet. But can I see myself loving her someday? Yeah I think I can.
Coffeelover19: Two failed marriages and you still believe you can love again?
NYwriter: For the longest time I didn't. After Gina, my second wife, I vowed that I would never get married again. Fell into this pattern of one stands because they were easier and less messy. But I think seeing my ex, the one who got away, again reminded me how great being in love is when you're with the right person. And my partner? She doesn't put up with my shit and I think I need someone like that.
Coffeelover19: And do you think she feels the same way?
He really can't read her. What he needs is to change the subject and get her taking about herself so he can look for clues. He's starting to notice that he's been doing most of the sharing, which could very well point to Beckett trying to keep her identity hidden...or to Katie just being a private person.
NYwriter: I think that she's been different lately.
Coffeelover19: Bad different?
NYwriter: No, good different. It's hard to explain without knowing her. But enough about my confusing love life. How are things with you? Any big revelations on your end happening lately?
He knows asking that question is a long shot, but he goes for it anyway.
Coffeelover19: Now that's a loaded question.
NYwriter: Is it?
Coffeelover19: So maybe there is a guy. But if we both have people, why are we doing this?
NYwriter: Sometimes you just need that neutral third party to talk stuff over with. Someone who doesn't know all the players personally and can tell you like it is.
Even though talking to Beckett about Beckett is hardly that if that's what's happening here.
Coffeelover19: In that case, how do you feel about people who were friends first but start to want more?
Shit, is she talking about him? About them?
NYwriter: That's how all the rom coms do it, right? And if they're not friends first, they're people who started out hating each other, but eventually grew very fond of one another.
Coffeelover19: But rom coms are hardly real life.
NYwriter: Maybe not for everyone. Maybe I'm just an optimistic romantic, but I like to believe that there are some couples out there with the perfect story.
Coffeelover19: What makes a story perfect? A fairytale ending? The big 'happily ever after?'
NYwriter: No, nothing as elaborate as that. Just two people who find happiness in each other and decide to never let it go.
Coffeelover19: And you think you've found that with your partner?
NYwriter: Maybe. All I know is that if I never try and find out what we could be, I'll regret it later on.
Coffeelover19: And that sounds like a pretty big thing to have regrets over.
NYwriter: Yeah, that's why I need to figure out how she feels.
Coffeelover19: The answer might be more obvious than you think. Well I have an early morning tomorrow. So goodnight, Rick.
NYwriter: Goodnight
He almost writes Kate. Almost writes it because of how badly he wants this to be her. But again, he still has no proof. And if there's one thing Beckett has taught him about detective work, it's that jumping to conclusions without all the facts may leave you drowning.
NYwriter: Katie.
"Ah man, I can't wait to go home and just slip into a warm bath and…" Beckett trails off as they start to leave the precinct after closing the case.
"I…" Castle starts.
She 's sure the color drains from her face at that moment. She'd been so focused on the case today, she hadn't let their IM conversation from last night get to her. Not until now. She thinks he might be starting to suspect it's her. At the very least, she knows how he feels about her now and she's just not ready to get into that at the moment.
"Don't. Please. Don't," Kate says, the phrase laced with double meaning. She means it to stop him from talking about portions of that conversation from last night, but tries to make it sound like she's stopping him from making a comment about her naked in the bath instead.
"I was just going to say, I'm starving. You know Remi's is open all night, they've got those burgers."
Her stomach rumbles at the mention of food. "Oh and those shakes." She shoots him a glance, wondering to either of them if this is considered some sort of date. But she gives in anyway and loops her arm through his. "Oh why not."
He leads her toward the elevator, arm in arm, and she finds herself starting to twirl her hair with her other hand. She quickly stops, realizing that's something she hasn't done since her overly flirtatious days in college.
"So Alexis and I got into this playful discussion last night, and I'm hoping you can help us end it," Castle tells her as the elevator doors close around them.
"Okay. Discussion about what?"
"Rom coms. Real or not real?"
She nearly starts to protest that that's a conversation he had with her and not Alexis, but she catches herself.
"Not real. They're defined as fictional for a reason, Castle."
"But there's truth in fiction. The inspiration has to come from somewhere."
"You and I are not Nikki and Rook."
"Never said that we were."
She looks up at him, her arm still draped through his. "So let me guess. You were pro rom com in this argument and Alexis was against?"
The elevator opens up to the parking garage and she lets her arm fall away from him as she fishes out her car keys.
"She's pretty analytical you know," Castle says, trailing behind her. "A lot like you are."
"Are you implying that analytical people can't be romantic?"
"Not at all. I'm just saying that it's harder for you to find the magic in the abstract."
"Why do I feel like we're not talking about rom coms anymore?" Kate asks, unlocking her car.
He shakes his head, sliding into the passenger seat. "Forget it. I'll just tell Alexis she wins this round."
She stills outside of the driver's side. She clearly didn't say whatever he wanted her to when he started this conversation. But then what did he want from her?
"You gonna get in or do you actually want me to drive for once?"
She shakes her head, clearing her thoughts, and finally slides into her vehicle. Castle reaches over and touches her hand on the steering wheel.
"You okay?" he asks.
I might be falling in love you with you.
"Yeah," Kate says, giving him a small smile. "I'm fine. Now let's go eat."
AN: Thank you all for the warm wishes regarding my new job! Equally so, thank you for your patience and understanding with the delay on this chapter.