I Love You
Chapter 7. The Time Of Depression
Author's Note: Woa! I feel like I just came back from the death! Anyway, I was so happy to see people follow and favorite the stories even though I haven't updated in a while. It brought me to tears (just kidding, kinda)! This time, the chapter is a little bit sad though. Also, WARNING: MILD SPOILERS ABOUT NAGISA AND HIS REALATIONSHIP WITH KARMA. Enjoy!
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Nagisa finished his homework and glanced at the clock.
11 P.M, way past his usual bed time. Not like his mother actually cared, as long as he's studying.
No Nagisa, you shouldn't think like that. She is your mother. She takes care of you for all these years. She loves you. And you love her too, right?
He shook his head. What he should do right now is to think about less stressful things.
But instead, he did the opposite.
Karma has been distance lately. Actually, they hadn't talk at all for the last few weeks.
No "ohayo" in the morning, no gaming conversations, no Sonic Ninja discussions, no nothing.
By this time, Nagisa has already lied down his bed and turned off the lights, but he couldn't turn off his thoughts.
"Hey Nagisa! Want to go to the arcade today?"
Almost every afternoon, Karma would ask him that and dragged him to the arcade despite the blue head's answer.
Nagisa smiled, only till this day did he realized how precious those memories were. Only till this day did he realized how soothing Karma's voice was. Only till this day, did he realized how lonely and helpless he is without Karma.
Subconciously, a tear fell down from one of his eyes.
The red head's smile, which was so arrogantly annoying, and yet so strong, so invincible, Nagisa could even rely on just that smile.
Everyday, game battle would be enough to free the blue head's mind from his mother and school works. Of course, arriving at home late could cause huge problems, but at the time, he didn't really care. He felt brave.
So why did he feel so weak now?
His mother, his mother is a wonderful woman. She is beautiful, genorous, loving. He can't ask for more, can he?
That's right. She just wanted the best for him. That was all there is.
Suddenly, he remembered Karma's words:
"Nagisa, if she is such a good mother, why are you crying?"
No, no, NO! She IS a good mother, she just doesn't know how to show it. They just misunderstood.
Hiromi Shiota is his mother, she would never do such a thing as abuse him, will she?
WILL SHE?!
"NAGISA! How dare you disobey your mother?!"
"I have take care of you all this time and this is how you repay me?"
"You know, I have always wanted a daughter..."
"Listen to me Nagisa. Only I know what's best for you. You will thank me later"
Nagisa trembled.
Why? WHY? This simply isn't real. It's all just a huge nightmare!
With Karma, it's like having a shield, to protect him from the darkest feelings. To have the red head by his side, it was truly wonderful.
So where is he now?
Karma, where are you?
We were friends. I trusted you. Why did you leave me?
Did you got bored of me?
Do you hate me?
Tell me why. Give me a reason.
I don't want to suffered all alone!
Just, please, tell me...
He cried and just kept on going like that for the next few minutes. His pillow was wet from tears.
After Karma left him, both school and home has been living hell.
These bruises from his mother. This pile of homework. Karma, leaving him.
He just couldn't stand it anymore!
Where are you Karma?
An idea sparked inside his head.
There're sleeping pills in the kitchen cabinet.
Only THOSE can help me...
To get out of this nightmarish world.
He got up from his bed.
Karma, appear and stop me if you don't want me to die.
He stumbled in the dark as his eyes started to adapt to the night.
This is all too much to bare.
But just before he reached the cabinet, he suddenly remembered that time, half a year ago, when he and Karma were still friends.
"Karma, I want to die..."
pause...
"You can't"
"huh?"
"Aren't you curious about what will happen tomorrow?"
"Like what?"
"Like... won a lottery?"
"I never buy lotteries though..."
"Then... having spaghetti for dinner!"
They both smiled and laughed at Karma's silly idea. Still, that was enough for him to keep living on. Such a small thing...
He found his way back upstairs, the sleeping pills were off from his mind.
He didn't want to die yet.
He was curious about tomorrow.
For that simple reason, he kept on living.
And guess what?
He did have spaghetti for dinner the next day.
Author's Note: So, how was it? Was it emotional enough? Fluffs and lovey dovey is my specialty, but I have always wanted to try and write a sad story. It' good to let your emotions out once in a while after all~ For all of you guys out there who are having suicidal thoughts, don't. You're beautiful, smart, wonderful, talented and awesome, in your own ways. You're not perfect, so is everyone else. No one deserved to die, after all. This had probably been repeated thousand of times everywhere, just to show you how important you are. Have a nice day! Thank you for reading.