(A/N- because so many of you asked for song quotes, I've decided to negotiate and do a chapter playlist which means that basically, I was listening to these songs while I was writing and would advise checking them out! The lyrics may or may not have anything to do with the chapter)

Chapter playlist- Made Up Stories, by Go Audio and Best Days Of Your Life, by Kellie Pickler, featuring Taylor Swift.

Previously…

"Me. You. Rose. Shopping. Capiche?"

"Um… okay." I shrugged.

Emmett laughed. "My dear sister-in-law," he said and I gathered that he was addressing me, "you have no idea what you are letting yourself in for. I wish you all of the luck in the world."

I looked at Alice uneasily to see her glaring at her older brother. Then she turned to me.

"Don't worry. It'll be fun."

I finished off smearing peanut butter onto the perfectly done toast and took a bite. I had a sneaky feeling that Alice's 'fun' would be completely different from my own…

The Hard Way To Learn A Lesson

Chapter 6- Shopping With Alice

Edward POV

"Rosalie?" Alice gasped, interrupting me. "As in Rosalie Hale??"

"Yes, Alice. She's been dating Emmett for…" I quickly did the mental math, "almost nine months."

"Like Jasper's broth… sister?" She blinked at me, the tiniest smudge of pink colouring her cheeks when she said my friend's name.

"Yes," I said slowly. "Why?" Suddenly something clicked in my head. "No, Alice! Please tell me you don't like him!"

She glared at me. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you know his name."

"I know Mason's name," she pointed out.

"And you're blushing."

"It's called make-up, Edward," she growled a little too defensively in my opinion.

"Sure," I said. Note the heavy sarcasm.

"Anyway…" I continued before Alice had interrupted, "as I was saying, Emmett and Rosalie are coming round and Mum and Dad said that we have to do stuff with them because they're both working Saturday shifts."

"And Bella," Alice tacked on.

I rolled my eyes. "Maybe."

Alice frowned for a moment, thinking. "Ooh! I call Rose and Bella for shopping!"

"Okay," I agreed. That would be the girls out of the way for the whole day. "I think there's a game on this morning. Em and I can watch that and then do something."

"That's not very creative," Alice scoffed.

"Oh and shopping is?" I argued.

We were about to start up a full-on sibling squabble when the doorbell rang and then Emmett opened the door himself. Why he rang the doorbell at all, I did not know.

"Honey! I'm hooome!" he called in a high voice.

"Emmett!" Alice cried, flying at him.

"Hey there squirt," Emmett laughed, using our old nickname for Alice. She hates it coming from me but apparently it sounds okay coming from Emmett. Maybe it's because he's older… mind you, I'm three minutes older than she is…

"I haven't seen you since Christmas!" Alice squealed.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," I mumbled under my breath.

Emmett laughed. "And what a good Christmas it was." His face went wistful and even I couldn't hold back the laugh when the memory of Emmett eating pretty much the whole turkey by himself before realising that it was for the whole family sprung to mind. Esme had swatted him round the head and put him on the old Slimfast diet for two months straight. Of course, I don't think he followed it, but he's still just solid muscle.

"Eddiekins!!" Emmett exclaimed, coming over to me and holding his hand up for a high-five.

I simply raised an eyebrow at his hand and said, "Don't call me that."

Twenty minutes later, we were all in the kitchen, talking about this and that. Rosalie and Alice were on one side of the table engaged in a confusing-sounding conversation about something called Abercrombie. They were comparing it to Dolce and Gabbana and I had heard Alice say something about that, whatever it was, so she was predictably in animated conversation.

I raised an eyebrow at Emmett. "Who's Abercrombie?" he murmured.

"I have absolutely no idea," I replied honestly, snickering.

"So what's been going on with you since I last saw you? How many girls this month?"

I frowned for a moment. "I don't know. About… twenty?"

Emmett laughed and clapped me on the back. "I'm proud of you, bro! But, seriously," his tone became less jokey, "you should settle down sometime. One night stands are fun and much more interesting, but there's no depth, no real feelings."

"Please, Em, I get enough of this philosophic stuff from Alice."

"I know. I'm just saying Eddie. With these million girls you may get passion, but you'll never find love unless you give a girl a chance."

"What was that Emmett?" Alice smiled sweetly. Damn she had heard.

I cautioned her with my eyes, begging her not to say anything.

"I was just telling Eddie here that he doesn't strike up a flame for long enough."

"Oh but he…"

"Yes I do," I cut Alice off.

"Sure you do," Emmett said heavily sarcastic. "Just look at your t-shirt!"

I looked down. I had forgotten what top I had put on this morning so I looked down to see my favourite top. It was deep blue and had 'don't hate the player- love the game' written across it in white scribble.

"What's wrong with my shirt?" I asked, though I was all too aware of what was wrong with it.

"Emmett," Alice said slowly, smirking at me.

"Alice," I warned.

"Mmm?" Emmett asked, taking a sip of the coffee Alice had made him.

"Did Edward tell you he's married?"

Emmett spluttered in surprise, choked a little on the gulp of coffee and then stared at me, his eyes wide. "You what?!"

"No, I'm not freaking married, Em!" I glared at Alice.

"Was it Vegas? Was he drunk? Or high? Or both?" Emmett looked to Alice as well, clearly not believing me.

"Ugh! Emmett I'm not married!" I groaned. No one listened.

"I wish," Alice grumbled but then perked right up to explain. "Psychology project. They have to pretend to be married to a classmate for three weeks. She's right upstairs, still asleep."

Emmett chuckled. "Woah, Eddie boy. You must have exhausted her some last night!"

"Ugh! I'd never do that with her!" I growled at the same time as Alice snarled, "He wouldn't dare!"

Emmett threw his hands in the air. "Calm down guys, I was joking. So which lucky girl did you choose?"

"Choose?" I scoffed. "I didn't get anymore say in this then you did. Mr Marshall did all of the choosing and I can tell you that I would never choose Swan in a million years."

"Swan?" Rosalie raised an eyebrow. "Unfortunate name."

"That's her surname you douche," Alice giggled. "She's called Bella and she's lovely."

"Just because you're bosom buddies with the bitch doesn't mean that I have to like her," I said sourly.

Emmett stared at me. "Well, I've never heard you speak ill of a girl since before you hit puberty. What is she a blonde bimbo or something?"

"No, worse," I grumbled.

"Aw, because she gets higher grades than you?" Alice cooed mockingly. "Admit it Edward, Bella is hot with a capital H… or she will be when I've finished with her. But still… you can't deny that she is incredible raw material."

"Not my type." I shrugged.

"Oh, please, Edward! Road kill would be your type if it would let you get some." Alice pushed her chair back, making a screeching noise as the legs scraped against the tiles. She went over to the kettle and switched it on.

Emmett doubled up, laughing louder than he had before. "Sorry, Eddiekins, but that is TOTALLY true!" he said when he could breathe again.

"I don't go for the suck-up teachers pets that are eager to please and probably lost their virginity to a pencil, if at all. Actually, scratch that, they've probably never been kissed, let alone actually gone the whole way."

"You were like that once upon a time," Alice murmured, but no one else heard her so I pretended that I didn't as well. I didn't want to remember my old life of A grades and merits rather than fails and detentions.

"I want to meet this girl that you speak so highly of, Edward," Emmett said and then laughed at his own pathetic joke and Rose joined in from where she now stood.

"Oh leave her alone!" Alice snapped coming back over to the table with a fresh mug of coffee for Emmett. "She's a lovely girl. Edward just doesn't get lovely. He'll only go for girls that will let him get some." Her words were harsh, but her bright blue eyes were harsher. They reminded me of times when I didn't break every heart I touched, of times when she sat with me everyday at lunch, of times when music was my life, and happiness was my drug. They reminded me of the dark times that stopped all of that and the guilt I had felt when she had left, when we had lost the connection… because of me. They reminded me of when I knew that it was too late to turn back and make things right again. And, most of all, they reminded me of the monster that I knew I had become.

"Oh, shut up," I mumbled though she had told me everything just by holding my eyes. She couldn't shut up because she hadn't said anything. Some stupid twin connection we had, apparently.

I didn't want to face the guilt anymore. I didn't want to stay in there with her while she had this vindictive power over me. I had to get out. I stood suddenly, catching the falling chair before it hit the floor and I stormed over to the door. I wrenched it open to be met by a dazzling chocolate brown colour. At first it was alarmed and then it melted to chocolate before my eyes. I blinked feeling my knees momentarily go weak and then I saw the whole picture. Realising that I wasn't going mad to think that a colour could look alarmed, I glared at her, trying not to notice how her cheeks were tinted with a lovely red, and then continued my destructive path out of the door.

I didn't know where I was going until I got to the old meadow. Damn it, why had I come here if I wanted to escape the past? Regardless, I wandered into the middle of the beautiful circular meadow and sat down in the long grass, ignoring the damp; it was always damp in Forks.

I lay back in the grass and closed my eyes, forgetting about the world around me and just let thoughts of chocolate brown pools and patches of gentle red consume me so that I wouldn't have to think about the past that changed me and the lack of future that lay ahead of me.

Bella POV

"Ohmigod!" Alice squealed. "Selfridges!!!"

I groaned. "Alice please! We've been shopping for hours! Can't we just… go?"

Rosalie shot me a 'look' telling me that complaining really wasn't wise. We had got on a lot better than I had expected; she was really a nice person behind the stunning exterior. That had surprised me, but I guess that not all good-looking people are morons. Yes, I'm thinking of Edward.

"Go?" Alice spun round and looked at me. "You want to… go?"

"Uh…" I bit my lip. I should really start thinking before I speak…

"How can you say that Isabella?!" Alice screeched. "This is Selfridges! Their clothes are… wow."

"But you said that about the last… I don't even know how many shops it was!" I wailed and then winced. Damn, Bella! Control your tongue!

"Alice…" Rose said soothingly. "Bella's a beginner at this. I think maybe we could make Selfridges the last stop and then go home, yeah?"

"But…" Alice pouted and then sighed. "Fine. Bella, you have a lot to learn." Then, she flounced through the double-doors and to the nearest display in Selfridges.

"Thank you so much," I muttered to Rose.

"I can't cover for you every time," she muttered back. "At least you'll know to avoid shopping with Alice from now on."

I nodded in agreement. Shopping with Alice was a literal hell on Earth. I made it my personal mission in life not to be guilt-tripped into shopping. Ever.

Two hours later, the three of us lugged the trillion full shopping bags up to Alice's room.

"Are you sure you have enough clothes and make up here to last you for the rest of your life?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh, it's not all for me," she replied, blowing off the sarcasm. Or maybe she just hadn't noticed. "Some of it's for you."

Now that took me by surprise. "What?!"

Alice smiled at me sympathetically. "Bella, sweats and jeans are so…" she waved her hands around, searching for the right word, "last year? Whatever, they are not sexy and you have a hot body so you totally have to work with it. If you've got it flaunt it and, believe me, you've got it girl."

I gaped at her, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. Eventually I was able to speak. "Alice. I'm flattered but, seriously, when did I consent to this… Bella Barbie?"

Rose coughed, but I had a strong suspicion that she was hiding a laugh.

"Now, of course! Bella, when did you last have a boyfriend?"

I blushed.

"You've never had a boyfriend." Alice's tone was stunned.

"I have too!" I exclaimed quickly.

"Who? When?"

"Well… we were nine and…"

"That does not count, Bella."

I scowled. "Okay then! I've never had a boyfriend. Happy?"

"Far from it," Alice replied. "Bella, this is drastic. You have a beautiful face, a stunning body and a gorgeous personality. How in hell's name have you not scored?"

I shrugged.

"It's because you drown yourself in these!" She grabbed at my baggy sweater and pulled it. "This is not acceptable Bella! You're my friend now and you must dress… better. Alice Cullen's friends have style, not sweaters."

I had to be having a nightmare. Me? In high heels and mini skirts? Well, that was a joke. "Alice, if you think you are getting me into half of that stuff you bought, then you have another thing coming!"

Alice scowled. "Well, I have another thing coming then because you are going to wear some of this stuff if it's the last thing I do!" she declared. "And you will have a date by the end of the week."

"No I bloody well will not," I grumbled, already sensing defeat as I looked down at the carpet.

"Bella?" Alice said.

I looked up at her.

"Cry me a river. Build a bridge. And get over it," she said. "Because this is happening whether you like it or not."

Great. And so Bella Barbie commences.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lol. Well, Alice will be Alice ;)

To those people that have been telling me to hurry up and get Edward and Bella together, then I am very sorry, but they won't actually get together for some time. They can't go from hating each other to head over heels in love in the space of two days. Hell, even three weeks seems like a short time! So… yeah. While they will get together, it won't be for a few chapters. Another thing that won't happen for a while is Edward's 'dark' past being revealed. Don't worry, it's nothing too drastic ;)

Also, I did say not to expect daily updates on this because it's not going to happen, to be quite honest. I will try to get chapter 7 up soon, perhaps Thursday, maybe Wednesday maybe Friday, but I'm not making any promises!

AND.... To all readers of AMMM I have some cool news! (Well, I think it's cool!) TwilightXFanpire has made a FANTASTIC banner for the fic and the link is on my profile! It's seriously amazing and I'd recommend checking it out, especially because the photo of the little girl that is supposed to be Natty looks almost exactly like I imagined her :D Thanks so much to TwilightXFanpire

OMC! I went to see HP today and, guess what! NO FLIPPING NEW MOON TRAILER!!!! I was sooo annoyed :( Ugh. But, on the other hand, HP was good… if a little long.

Um… so yeah. Hope you liked the chapter guys! :D

PLEASE REVIEW!

Thanks.

Steph

Who's seen HP and what did you think? Did you see the NM trailer?