And still can't stop hoping

Summary: AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?

Disclamer: Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)

Here is the new chapter and it's even a longer one! Thanks so much for the many reviews!
Sam :)

Chapter 6

Lucas looked proudly up over his potion at Boris. The old man gave a small smile and nodded. His potion was perfect- as in absolutely perfect, and finally could be sold in the shop.

Lucas had been in the shop for only three weeks now, but had already learned a lot: how to slice and prepare the ingredients perfectly; how to weight them properly; and how to make a few simple potions from memory. Even if he had made potions before, he only knew how to do them from books. And books didn't really explained how to slice, cut or chop them or what the difference was.

Or how you could do some things so much easier or where you needed to be more careful than the book said. Because books like that were meant to be read by people who already learned how to slice and weigh the ingredients.

And so even if his old potions worked, they weren't perfect. They would need more time than described to help him, or sometimes would not completely close whatever wound he was trying to heal. They would be off-colour just a bit, but before, he hadn't really seen the difference between sky blue and light blue. He learned more and more everyday, and was really thankful that he had found this place.

And Boris, as he was allowed to call the older man, helped him a lot and encouraged him to make a potion again, even if it was nearly perfect. Because like he said, nearly perfect still isn't perfect. And he was right. Harry found himself practicing potions over and over again so that they'd be perfect.

And now, after days of trying to make a warming lotion (which would help cold hands), it was finished. He'd tried it four times and always there was something small amiss. So small, that probably no one would have noticed it, but Boris had insisted anyway that he tried it again and again.

"Perfect", said the older man behind him and Lucas allowed himself a small smile. Boris wasn't a really warm man, but he didn't hate Lucas and even seemed to appreciate his help.

Sometimes they wouldn't talk for days and then they would discuss a potion for over three hours. And Lucas liked that, a lot.

Because he wasn't really used to talking that much with someone else and it was good starting with only a few hours a day before he would go to Hogwarts. Hogwarts was famous for the never-ending talks and discussion.

Lucas couldn't wait any longer to go to Hogwarts, but at the same time he was scared.

Scared that it would be like any other school and he would be the loner again.

Lucas shook his head and thought of happier things. Like his life here. It was the first thing he could really could call a happy memory because nothing bad had happened to him while here. Still he couldn't help but think 'yet…'

But here, Lucas was happy. Not like smiling-all-the-same happiness, but a nice contentment. Because he knew that he lived with someone who wouldn't hurt him and didn't lie to him.

He liked Boris.

True to his word, Boris gave Lucas three meals a day, a nice room and a warm bed to sleep in. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't found this place.

It was November now and it was getting colder and colder every day. But he knew that even if he was cold when he was wandering outside in his new winter cloak ('I don't want to loose my help just when I found it', Boris had said), he would be in a warm room when he was back with Boris.

But he still couldn't really trust him.

Know that Boris wouldn't hurt him?

Yes.

Trust him?

No.

He couldn't trust the man, not really…it was more of a knowing feeling in him that he was sure that the man wouldn't hurt him and that was enough for Lucas.

Well…in the beginning he was really distrustful, especially since Boris always seemed to know exactly what Lucas was thinking.

After a while, he noticed that Boris only knew things when they stared in each other's eyes or just looked for a few moments at each other. Lucas started to avoid looking Boris in the eyes so that the man couldn't read his thoughts anymore, because that was what he was apparently doing.

He didn't know how Boris did it or even why. He didn't care and just wanted his thoughts for himself so he was more careful. But he thought that Boris knew what he was doing, because one time he had looked nearly proudly at him.

Lucas tried to remember if he ever had read anything about mind-reading or such things, but couldn't remember even hearing from it. And none of Boris' books had any information on the subject. Lucas started to think that he would just have to avoid eye-contact with the man forever.

But a few days ago, he had been wandering through Knockturn Alley and had seen a bookshop.

Because he hadn't read a new potions book in some time and hoped that perhaps something in the shop would mention mind-reading, Lucas decided to walk into the store.

And he found exactly what he was looking for.

There had been many interesting books in the shop, and Lucas had had a hard time prying himself away from the potions section. But then he had found it- that ONE book that would teach him how to help himself: How to Close Your Mind Against Magic.

He wasn't really angry with Boris because normally a ten year old wouldn't have that many memories he wanted to hide.

But he did.

A lot of them.

Because his name wasn't just Lucas, but Lucas Harry Potter, and Potter was a very important name in the wizarding world. And he wasn't only a Potter, no he was an ab…no, he still couldn't say or even think the word in context with his own past.

Of course he had seen in the muggle newspapers about parents being sent to prison because they had hurt, abused, their children. But he just couldn't bring himself to think of the possibility that he had been… At least he could admit to himself, only to himself, that neither his father nor his relatives treated him like they should.

No…it was better when he stayed Lucas and no one would ever know about his past.

Just Lucas.

Shaking his head, he remembered how hard it had been to buy the book. First the clerk hadn't wanted to sell him the book, but after a few minutes of negotiating he finally had got it after saying that he had to buy that book for Master Mallory. He had started reading it right away and had finished it the next night. Since then, he began working hard to erect mental walls and it seemed that he succeeded more and more every day.

In the beginning, it had been so strange to think behind his "thinking area". But now it became easier and easier to think behind thinking. It was really strange to explain and he still had problems sometimes understanding the book completely, like when it talked about mist, darkness or clouds in the front of your thoughts, but someone he managed it.

He just hoped that he would succeed totally before Boris found out he was a Potter. He wanted that to stay a secret as long as possible, hopefully even forever.

"You can leave the potion for a few hours and fill it up later", said Boris suddenly and Lucas nodded, thankful that he hadn't jumped.

"If you're up to it, you can try this on next", the older man said, gave him a book with a marked page and went back to the shop. Lucas always worked in a workroom that was two doors from the saleroom, where Boris nowadays worked.

Boris still came and brewed potions but thankfully not the small and easy once anymore because Lucas would do them for him now. So Boris had at least a bit more time for himself and Lucas enjoyed his time in the laboratory immensely.

Lucas looked at the book in his hands, opened to the marked page, and found a sleep potion which would give the drinker a nice dream. It was, the book said, to be taken to avoid nightmares. Lucas looked up quickly, but Boris wasn't there. But he couldn't stop thinking that maybe he had screamed in his sleep again.

Lucas had nightmares more often than not, but he hadn't screamed anymore when he had been at the Dursleys. Vernon Dursley's belt had seen to that. And so he had tried to tell himself before sleeping to not cry out in his dreams, and it had always worked.

But now, Boris gave him this potion… that was so much harder than the others. Lucas shook his head and thought that maybe it was just a coincidence.

He didn't believed in coincidences.

With a last sigh and the decision that he couldn't change anything, even if Boris knew that he had nightmares, he walked slowly up to his room.

And before he began thinking about how to make the potion best, he just hoped that he at least hadn't screamed any names in his dreams.

A few days later he tried the sleep potion. He had repeated it many times in his head, memorized every step and looked up all ingredients he would need, because he wanted to do the potion right on his first try. And it was by far more difficult than the other potions he had brewed.

Before he began, he put his hair into a ponytail, because it had grown so much over the last months that it was now a bit over his shoulders. A small hair-growing potion might also have helped a little.

He didn't even notice when Boris came into the room when he was halfway through the potion. He had prepared the ingredients slowly and with much care so that they would be perfect, and now he only glanced at the book to read the same things he'd memorized days earlier.

But then he came to one point where he was supposed to put in three frog legs and immediately after that one ground grain weevil and then stir the potion four times clockwise. But something in him was urging him to stir it four times clockwise and put the frog legs in the potion when he was stirring and the grain weevil together with the last frog leg.

In this moment he couldn't really remember how exactly the ingredients would react to each other- but he was at least sure that no explosion would follow. But should he follow his feelings?

Unsure, he was looking into the potion and jumped when Boris suddenly moved. "What is wrong?" Lucas looked up and chewed on his lower lip. "The book says to put in the frog legs, than the ground grain weevil and after that to stir it four times clockwise, but I think that I should put the frog legs into the potion while I'm stirring the potion and the grain weevil together with the last frog leg. What do you think?"

Boris looked at him for a moment and then just nodded. "Do what you think you should do. If it doesn't work out the way you hope for, you can always try again. I wouldn't even have expected you to get this far your very first time through…" he trailed off and with a last 'Good luck' he was out of the room.

Lucas looked again at the book, at the potion, and then closed his eyes. Even if Boris didn't really say anything like he would trust him, he did say in a subtle way that it wouldn't better if it wouldn't work.

"Well…let's try it then", he said to himself and followed his feelings…

"That is even better than perfect, Lucas! Excellent! I see you followed your feeling?" Boris asked and fixed him with one of his sharp stares. "Yes", answered Lucas smiling and didn't even care if Boris read his thought at the moment.

The potion had turned out to be perfect. Like in perfect, absolutely perfect. Lucas was so proud of himself that he didn't see the calculated stare the older man gave him, before he was nodding to himself.

"Excellent, Lucas. I hope you still like making potions because there are some others I'd really need for the shop…" He trailed off not even needing to finish his sentence. The boy loved potions and he was blessed with such talents for the subtle art.

After that day, Lucas began making more and more potions. First the still easier once that they only sold because most adult wizards just don't have the time to make them or aren't very keen on making them. But after a few weeks he started doing more and more advanced potions work and even his perfectly-made Sleep potion looked sometimes easy in comparison.

It didn't mean that there weren't spoiled potions or some smaller (and one really big) explosions, but his success were outweighing the failures by far.

But the best of all was not only that Lucas could successfully do what he wanted most, but also that he finally found a place where he could be himself without his brother overshadowing him and his father hating him.

Here he could be himself, really good at something and no one would hit him for being better than his brother or cousin. Instead of that, he would see sometimes the proud glance in Boris' looks and it made him feel even better.

And then, on the first weekend of March, a tall, dark haired man with a prominent nose entered the Potion Shop looking for some ingredients for his students at Hogwarts…

So...that was chapter six. Liked it? What do you think now of Boris? And of course everyone knows who is the dark haired man, right? ;)Please review!

DebsTheSnapeFan: Thx for your review! but he doesn't need the potion anymore..and like I tried to show...Lucas did know a lot about potions but didn't brew that many before...I don't want to show potions as easy as some other fanfictions did...But thx for the idea and the review!

momocolady: Thx! Hope you liked that chapter, too :)

vampirelf: I like it when people expect other things ;) But it doesn't mean that murphy's law won't appear later...sorry

LegalAlien1: Thx a good question...but I think that wizards think that they don't need child services...because magical children are so important to them so no one really expect someone (especially James) to abuse their children...

Snitch713-713: I think this chapter answered your question...he is a good guy :)

Varnalesa: Thx for the huge compliment! I hope I won't disappoint you :) Thx for ur review!

jka1: I fear that Lucas doesn't really know what it is supposed to feel like to have a father (because James isn't really one to him)...but we'll see ;)

alwaysariyana: Hope I did :) Thx for your review!

Fae Child19: well...wait for the next chapter and you have your Snape ;) And I hope you like Boris now a bit better...he isn't a bad guy, I promise :)

flower123: Yes..a nice little break for Lucas before he goes back...you see, Boris is a nice guy :)

imakeeper: LOL you really like Hufflepuffs, don't you? But I'm sorry...this part is already planed out...but I love your suggestions :)

moonravencrow13: Yes...James...but I hope that he isn't OOC (well...more than normal in a AU ;)). Thx for your review!

Aamaya: Thx so much for your reviews! But I fear that Lucas won't like me for long...poor guy has a lot in for him...

Dea Puella : lol I thought about that for a second but I searched a lot for the name and in the end it was Mallory...but yes, Malfoy would have been interesting, too. And thx soo much that you reviewed to every chapter! Thx!

Lia-derVampir: Heißt du wirklich Lia? ;) Also nein, sorry. Aber ich hatte eine Freundin die wirklich Samantha hieß, falls dich das aufmuntert ;) Und vielen lieben Dank für dein Lob :)

Sam: Why is everyone always so revengeful? Revenge doesn't always mean peace of mind...but I'll see, what will happen but fear that it will be worse before it gets better...and thx for your review :)

Snarky B.: I have a beta reader...and I do put effort into it but my first language is not English so I just have to trust my beat reader...and till you are the only one who thinks that the story isn't well written...I'm sorry for that but I can't really change that.

Thx for soo many REVIEWS! Thx a lot! I think the next update should be soon but not so fast like this one, sorry.

So ...thanks a lot for reading!
Chau,
Sam :)