disclaimer: i don't own Beck: MCS; Harold Sakuishi does.

Chapter 7

Anna walked back to the store from her lunch at the takoyaki stand.

She was at least thankful that the older man hadn't commented on her mood.

She had been uncommonly subdued the past three days. She sighed. It was exceptionally hot, even the slight breeze blowing was heavy on her skin.

Anna had twisted up her hair into a French knot and not a single strand was out of place. She took comfort in the rituals of putting herself together in front of the mirror in the mornings.

Makeup and clothes were the perfect shields she could hide behind. The perfect image that looked back at her belied the frail strings that were keeping her tied together.

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Ray had come back to the store on the afternoon of that day.

She knew he wanted her to talk to him but he had instead contented himself with letting her convince him to buy more CDs for his collection.

Anna was grateful for his understanding and the hug he had enfolded her in before he left went a long way towards easing the weight in her heart.

It was just sex after all. She'd been there before, taken lovers before.

She of all people should know the lifestyle Taira was used to. It was sheer stupidity for her to break all the rules she had made for herself.

Anna sighed.

Stupid or not, she couldn't help her taste in men or the fact that Taira had so effortlessly twisted himself around her heart.

Ray had played an inadvertent role in her downfall.

He had always been forthcoming in his opinions and aside from the fact that they both shared a country of birth, it was Ray's straightforward manner and frankness that had drawn her in.

He was attracted to her and she had felt the same but what she really treasured was that he had been a friend.

The epitome of the rich kid who could afford to play at poverty and bum around all day, Ryusuuke had surprising depths that few people could or were allowed to see.

He was sometimes sarcastic and cutting, often harsh in his evaluations of truth, reckless in actions and with more than just a touch of arrogance that always, always required perfection in whatever he set out to do but he had always been kind despite his cynicism.

And she knew he had missed Beck.

She knew he left Japan afraid of dragging his band into a mess with drug dealers and criminals and not many people were aware of that.

He had spoken of them like they were family. Brawling together with Chiba, ragging Koyuki about his lousy playing and feeling pride at his rapidly developing talent, Maho in all her annoying-little-sister glory, Saku with his devil-may-care attitude which was not at all carried over into his unbelievable talent and precision at the drums, and there had been Taira.

Ray had spoken of him with respect and admiration not just for his playing but for pushing and caring for them all as they tried to make it to the top.

If there was somebody Ryusuuke could call a best friend, then it was probably Taira.

She couldn't help but fall a little in love with somebody who was spoken of in such glowing terms especially coming from Minami Ryusuuke.

The strong silent bad ass with the incredible talent and impeccable work ethic and drive. Taira had heart to go along with his ambition.

Anna almost snorted.

She could rationalize as much as she wanted. It all came down to one thing.

Women were attracted to the bad boys and always hoped they would be the ones to tame them.

The only problem was she had fallen for Taira before she had had any hopes of taming him. And she had compounded the fault with falling into bed with him and equating it with caring on his part.

Sighing, Anna looked at the sign standing next to the store's door. She had lost track of how many sighs had gone past her lips. It was such a perfect day to wallow in self-pity.

The bulletin board had been patterned after the huge sign that had hung over the Honky Tonk in her father's day.

She had stuck on one of the posters for the CD signing for the next day.

Beck was on its way to the top, she felt it in her bones and she wanted to revive the legends they whispered about Shimamura Nowaki's bar, only this time it would be Julianna Shimamura's stage they would talk about.

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Pushing open the doors, Anna stepped into air-conditioned air and the throbbing blues of BB King's guitar. The blues suited the oppressive heat outside and she looked at the browsing customers with satisfaction.

"Maho's in the back office, she's got something for you." Mari pointed in the direction of her office from the counter.

When she got to her office Maho bounced off from the corner of her desk where she was perched but what caught Anna's eye was the extravagant splash of color that dominated her desk.

"Three dozen, I counted." Maho supplied with a grin. Taira would be pleased when she told him that Anna's eyes had gone round as saucers.

"Ray didn't have to do this…" Anna couldn't resist the riotous bloom of sunshine yellow roses laid amidst a profusion of green. Just looking at them lifted the mood.

"Nope, these aren't from him." Maho shook her head and pointed at a small white card tucked into the leaves.

Anna flipped open the card and read the words scrawled in a masculine hand. She went through it again and felt warmth suffuse her.

Rarely, we meet people who severely complicate the tidy order we have made of our lives. We get caught and tangled in the confusion they create and the harder we struggle, the tighter we are bound. Later we find out that they have completely changed our views and concepts of self and world. The disorder they caused then become the new order of our lives but in a moment of carelessness we may brush them away and leave a gaping hole in the world in the place where they should have been.

I have no excuse for being careless with you, Julianna, and I'm sorry. Please, let's talk soon.

"Ryusuuke's being a slave driver and nobody can leave the rehearsal without his approval so Taira drafted me into bringing this along."

Anna buried her nose into the blooms and inhaled their scent. The arrangement was so big that the leaves tangled into her hair. When she pulled away from the flowers, messy strands of hair had escaped their knot and were flowing around her face.

"You look better." Maho said just before she walked out the door.

just one more chapter to go... read and review pls. =