Chapter 7: It's over?

"What if I don't love Rebecca anymore, Brittany what am I going to do?" I ask.

"It's going to be ok, I promise" she says wrapping her arms around me to hug me. "We're going to sort this out so don't panic" she says.

"How can I not panic when my relationship might be over and it's all my fault?" I ask.

"Relationships break up all the time, it's just a part of life unfortunately so you can't live your life unhappy" Brittany says. "Maybe you have fallen out of love with Rebecca but again, these things happen."

"Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough, we can work through it right?" I ask.

"That's not for me to answer but if you feel like you want to work through it then I'm here for you babe" Brittany says genuinely.

"Right now I feel like maybe I don't love her anymore but what if I just think that and end up losing her and realising I do still love her?" I ask.

"I do think you really need to talk to Rebecca soon. I know you're confused and you don't quite understand what's going on but I think its hurting Rebecca more to know something is up but for you to not tell her" Brittany says and I guess she does have a point.

"Yeah perhaps you're right" I say.

"If you want me to leave at any point and give you two some space to talk then just let me know" Brittany says.

"Ok, thanks" I smile. "It's not going to be tonight anyway so maybe tomorrow you could give us a little space but I'll let you know" I say.

"Ok" she smiles back.

"I really should be going to bed soon but I don't really want to" I say. "I'd rather have some time to think than to go to bed next to Rebecca where it's awkward between us."

"You can stay in my bed tonight if you want" Brittany offers.

"No you don't need to do that, I'll stay on the couch or something" I reply.

"Don't be silly, my bed is more than big enough for two of us and you know I'm usually a peaceful sleeper so I'll just get straight into bed and go to sleep so you'll have all the time you need to just think" Brittany says.

"I don't know Britt" I say not sure about the idea.

"Oh come on, I don't bite…well not much anyway" she teases.

"Um…ok" I say laughing. "Just don't kick me in the night if you have a bad dream or something. You did that once in college and I had a massive bruise on my leg for days" I tell her.

"I won't" she smiles.

Brittany's POV

I really didn't sleep well last night. I could tell Santana was quite restless in her sleep because every time she turned to lie in a different position the whole bed would move. I don't know if my lack of sleep was due to Santana moving around a lot or just from me generally worrying about her. I feel so bad for her that she seems so confused over this Rebecca situation and I wish I could help but I just don't know how to. There's no denying the fact I just don't like Rebecca anymore but I can't tell Santana what to do so I need to try and be impartial about the situation for her sake because she might genuinely want to make things work.

"Oh it's you in here" Rebecca says, bringing me out of my thoughts as she walks into the kitchen. "I was hoping it was Santana" she sighs.

"Yeah it's just me" I say.

"I'm guessing Santana slept in your room or something last night because she didn't come to bed and I didn't see her lying on the couch either" Rebecca says.

"Yeah" I nod.

"I assume you're aware that this is all your fault right?" Rebecca asks.

"What's all my fault, you need to be more specific" I ask slightly confused.

"Santana and I never fought when we used to live alone and now as soon as you arrived and started taking advantage of us, everything went downhill" Rebecca states. "We wouldn't be like this if you hadn't of moved in."

"That's bullshit and you know it Rebecca" I say annoyed. "You're not going to put all your problems on me, that's just not going to happen" I say shaking my head.

"I'm serious Brittany, you have caused this tension between Santana and I. I never said anything to begin with because for some reason Santana thinks you're the best thing ever but now I'm putting my foot down because it's affecting my relationship far too much" Rebecca says.

"Look I admit that me moving in here has brought a few things to light but I'm not the cause of your situation. I'm not the one to blame here, if I'm being honest you should be thanking me because it was only a matter of time before you realised you're not good enough for Santana and me being here has only sped up that process" I say.

"I'm not thanking you for anything" Rebecca says glaring at me.

"Santana is one of the kindest people you'll ever meet so I'm not going to make things any harder for her by telling her how I really feel about you but you could at least be mature enough to start treating her right because like I say, right now you're not good enough for my best friend" I say.

"Look you're a pretty nosy person anyways so it's obvious you're going to know Santana and I have had some issues lately but the fact of the matter is that it's only going to be a matter of time before she's going to make you leave" Rebecca states.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"Well three's a crowd and everything Brittany so once we iron out our issues then you'll be gone" she states.

"Somehow I think you're mistaken here because I'm Santana's best friend so she won't make me leave" I say. "We have too much history together so our friendship is forever."

"Yeah you're probably right, she is too nice for that isn't she" Rebecca replies. "I guess I'll just need to make you leave then and convince Santana it's for the best."

"Oh you're going to trick her are you?" I ask.

"No but I will show her just how much of a bitch you really are. If you think you can come here and make Santana break up with me then you're wrong" Rebecca states.

"Um…what's going on?" Santana asks while yawning as she stands in the doorway of the kitchen.

"It's nothing for you to worry about, honestly" I smile.

"Ok" Santana says smiling at me slightly but I know she didn't buy that. "So Rebecca…can we talk today?" she asks.

"Yeah, I think we should" Rebecca nods.

"Once I've had a quick shower I can leave and give you two some space if you want" I say.

"Thanks Britt" Santana says smiling at me. "You don't need to rush though, just take your time."

"Ok" I smile back.

Santana's POV

Brittany left about fifteen minutes ago and there's been an awkward silence filling the living room since as Rebecca and I sit next to one another on the couch. I don't really know how to start or what to say. I'm guessing Rebecca feels the same otherwise she'd have said something by now. Just as I come up with something to say, Rebecca seems to as well because we both talk at the same time.

"You go" Rebecca says.

"No, you" I insist.

"I miss you Santana and I hate how we keep fighting all the time" Rebecca replies.

"I hate all the fighting too" I say honestly because I do. As much as I am confused about things lately, I don't like fighting with Rebecca because there's probably not a need for it and it's only making things worse.

"What happened last night Santana, why did you react the way you did?" Rebecca asks.

"I'm sorry for reacting like that, I don't want you to think it's your fault because it's not. It's my issue to deal with and I never should have reacted like I did" I say honestly.

"Look I know Brittany is your best friend and everything but don't you think a lot of this is to do with her?" Rebecca asks.

"I do actually" I nod.

"Finally" Rebecca sighs. "You can now finally see the problem with Brittany living with us and how it was such a bad decision. Santana honestly I thought you were never going to realise but I'm just so glad you have now" she says smiling slightly.

"No Rebecca, I meant Brittany has made me realise some things about myself" I reply. "Brittany living here has been a good thing because it's opened my eyes to a few things and I know now that you and I aren't in a place I thought we were."

"Hold on a second, what do you mean by that?" Rebecca asks surprised.

"Brittany is not the problem between us" I say.

"Then what is?" Rebecca questions.

"I am" I sigh. "I am the problem Rebecca and I never meant to hurt you but having Brittany stay here has made me realise that this between us is just not working anymore. We want different things from the relationship I think."

"No we want the same things. Santana we've talked about this a thousand times before and we agreed we'd live together for a little while then we'd think about marriage and then hopefully children in the future. You told me a million times that's what you wanted" Rebecca replies.

"That is what I want Rebecca but not right now. Having Brittany stay with us has made me realise that I'm not ready for anything like that right now especially when we're in completely different situations at work. We never see each other and when we do we're too stressed out and that's not good for a relationship" I say.

"You're mixing me up Santana. One minute you're ready to settle down and then you say you aren't and now you're saying you don't want a relationship because we're too stressed so that'll ruin things. You're either ready for a relationship or you're not. Just make up your mind because you either want to be single or you want to work on us and have a mature relationship" Rebecca replies.

"Look I'm confused myself Rebecca but what I'm trying to say is that I don't think I want us anymore. We're too young and career driven to be this stressed out right now. We need to focus on us but separately" I reply. I don't want to hurt Rebecca but I can't let her think we're ok anymore because we're not.

"What exactly has Brittany made you realise about us?" Rebecca asks.

"She's made me realise that I'm not happy anymore and I don't have fun like I used to. I'm still young and I don't want to be this stressed out anymore" I say honestly.

"Define fun" Rebecca states.

"I don't mean I want to go out and get drunk every night and hook up with a bunch of girls if that's what you think" I say. "I just mean I don't laugh anymore and I don't feel I can enjoy myself and have a few nights out with friends when I know you don't like it. I just don't think this is the right time for you and I to be together but that doesn't mean I'm blaming you. I just think we want different things right now."

"So where does that leave us then?" Rebecca asks. "Does that mean you're going to move out or what?"

"Well I just assumed you might want to move out since this is my apartment. I mean I'm not going to see you homeless or anything but it is my name on this apartment plus Brittany is here too so it makes sense if she and I stay here. Like I say though, there's no pressure for you to leave because I know how hard it can be getting another place" I say. I'm not kicking her out but it does make sense for me to stay here.

"This is just great" Rebecca says throwing her hands up in disbelief. "My girlfriend breaks up with me and then kicks me out all on the same day, this just couldn't get any more fabulous could it?" she says sarcastically.

"Like I just said, I'm not kicking you out. I just think it's best if anyone has to leave then it should be you but I'm not cold hearted so you can take your time in finding somewhere else" I say honestly.

"You might as well have just kicked me out because it's going to be really awkward if I stay and you clearly don't want to be with me anyway so there's no point in me staying here" Rebecca says upset.

"Honestly Rebecca, I don't want to see you without somewhere to go. You and I breaking up is not about me stopping caring for you, it's about me wanting to allow the two of us to live our lives the way we want to" I tell her. I do still care for her but I don't think I want a relationship like this right now. I want to enjoy my life while I'm still young and us being in a relationship is stopping me do that.

Rebecca and I have been talking for a while now and I think she's beginning to understand my point of view. She's decided that she'll stay here for a few more nights but start looking for somewhere else right away. There's no denying it might get a bit awkward but I did kind of spring this breakup on her and she really doesn't have anywhere to go right now that wouldn't totally empty her bank account. The hotels around here are far too expensive and she can't just go somewhere else when she has a job here.

"I really don't mean to hurt you Rebecca but this is for the best" I say honestly.

"Yeah, I get it" Rebecca nods. "Just do me one favour though, would you?" she asks.

"Of course, anything you want" I smile.

"Just tell Brittany I hope she's happy now" Rebecca says bitterly before exiting the room.

"Um excuse me, what's that supposed to mean" I say following her.

"She wanted me out of your life and I'm just about one step away from that once I find somewhere to go" Rebecca replies. "She got what she wanted Santana so I hope she's happy now. I'm devastated now and I guess that means she'll be jumping for joy at that aspect."

"Look I know you two don't always get along but Brittany isn't cold hearted either, she's not going to be happy that someone else is upset" I say seriously.

"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that Brittany is a saint but one of these times you'll realise that she's really nothing close to that. She's just a…"

"Don't even bother finishing your sentence. If you want to be upset with someone then be upset with me, not Brittany. I know I said she opened my eyes to a few things but in no way did I mean she told me to break up with you. She would never do that so don't twist my words around and hurt someone else when I'm the one you should be mad at" I say.

"Oh there she is as usual" Rebecca says angrily just as Brittany walks through the front door. "You're not one to respect others now are you?"

"Excuse me?" Brittany asks confused.

"You're supposed to be staying away to let Santana and I talk but as usual you come back early to nose around in someone else's business" Rebecca replies.

"Look I just wanted to slip in here to get my ankle support and leave quietly again. I don't want to bother you two but I went for a walk once I left earlier and now my ankle is playing up so I was hoping to just slip into the apartment, grab what I needed and leave again without disturbing you two" Brittany replies.

"Yeah I'm sure that's what you're doing" Rebecca says not believing Brittany.

"Trust me, that's what I was doing" Brittany says seriously and I believe her. I can tell she's in a bit of pain right now by the way she's limping and I just know by the tone of her voice that she's not lying.

"Well now you're here anyway you might as well know. Santana has broken up with me and it's all down to you so thanks Brittany, I really appreciate it" Rebecca says bitterly.

"I told you, this is not Brittany's fault so please don't make her feel guilty for something she didn't do" I say seriously. There's no reason for Rebecca to put any of this on Brittany because that's just not fair.

"Whatever, I'm going to the bedroom Santana and I want to be alone" Rebecca says before slamming the door behind herself.

"Britt…" I say turning to look at her. "I am sorry for dragging you into this, it's honestly not your fault."

"I don't care what Rebecca says to me, I just want you to be ok" she says while putting her arm around me. "Look I'll make some coffee and you go to the living room and sit down, ok?"

"Ok" I smile.

It's been about a week since I broke up with Rebecca but after a few days we realised living together until she found somewhere just wasn't working out so she left two days ago to stay with a friend from work until she can work something out. I know this was her apartment as well because we agreed to move into it together even though it's in my name but at the end of the day Rebecca has people around here for support and I don't. I mean it's just Brittany and I that live here while everyone else lives miles away so instead of the two of us being homeless then Rebecca said she'd stay with a friend for the time being.

Brittany and I have the day off work tomorrow and she wanted to do something to cheer me up tonight so with the help from both my parents and hers we managed to fly out our friends for the weekend and to top it all off we're having a party tonight to just let our hair down and really have some fun. The only thing is though, I'm finding it hard to have fun because I'm still confused about a few things and I'm also feeling guilty because I did spring the breakup on Rebecca and now she's crashing on someone else's couch instead of in her own apartment.

"Hey you, you ok?" Brittany asks while sitting down next to me.

"Yeah I'm getting there I guess" I say trying to smile.

"I know you say it was for the best and everything but it is ok to feel sad that Rebecca has left" she tells me and I nod. "It's only natural to still feel a bit down about the whole thing so don't feel bad for feeling bad."

"This was her home too Brittany and I basically forced her to leave, what kind of bitch does that?" I say annoyed with myself.

"Honey, Rebecca and you weren't working out and someone had to leave. I know it sounds harsh but if one of you didn't go then you'd probably end up killing each other or something so it's only right someone left and it did make more sense for Rebecca to than you" Brittany replies.

"I suppose" I shrug.

"It might sound mean but I don't know how Rebecca got you in the first place. I mean you were just too good for her" Brittany says and it confuses me.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You're sitting here feeling incredibly guilty about the whole thing while all Rebecca wanted to do before she left was attack me and make you feel even worse. If she truly loved and deserved you then she'd be willing to understand where you were coming from and agree to give you a bit of space. I mean you never said you were over completely, you said you're just not right together right now" Brittany says. "If she actually listened and cared for you then she'd know that maybe in time you two could work things out but all she did was blow up the situation and make it seem like it was everyone's fault but hers."

"She was just upset Brittany" I say.

"I know but you never explicitly said we're over for good, you said not right now. To me that would mean let's take a break and revaluate things in time but she's blew her chances of that by the way she's acting" Brittany says. "You just care too much about other people's feelings and that's what I admire most about you but the way Rebecca handled things tells me she doesn't deserve your care."

"Ok…thanks" I say, really not sure of how to respond to that.

"Come on, let's get you another drink and have some fun" Brittany says while pulling me up.

"Ok" I nod.

The party is well underway and we're all having a good time but Brittany keeps saying really nice things to me and complimenting me. I just find it a bit confusing now. I mean I know we're best friends and we try to make each other feel better but it's more the way Brittany delivers her sentences rather than the content of the sentences that confuses me. I've decided not to wait any longer and just confront Brittany about it so as soon as I see her sitting alone, I go over to her.

"Hey" I say sitting next to her.

"Hi" she smiles at me.

"Brittany can I ask you a serious question?" I say seriously while turning my head to look at her.

"Of course babe, you can ask me anything you want. Anything at all" she smiles.

"Ok well…"

"You know, you never have to ask permission to ask me something honey. Honestly any time you want to ask me anything just go right ahead" Brittany smiles again.

"That's good to know, so anyway what I want to ask is…well…" I say hesitating slightly trying to think of the best way to put this.

"Oh hey, more alcohol" Brittany says while following the alcohol in Quinn's hands with her eyes.

"Brittany!" I snap to get her attention.

"What?" Brittany asks turning to look at me.

"Are you gay?" I ask bluntly.

"Um…what" Brittany says laughing slightly.

"Are. You. Gay?" I ask slowly. I don't mean to sound patronising but I'm a little offended she would just laugh at my question.

"Am I gay?" she asks pointing to herself and I nod my head. "No, I'm not" she says shaking her head.

"So why do you act the way you do around me?" I ask.

"I don't know what you mean" Brittany says confused.

"I know we're best friends and everything but lately you've seemed different around me and it's confusing me" I say honestly.

"Different how?" Brittany queries.

"Well if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were flirting with me at times" I reply.

"Flirting with you?" she asks confused.

"Yeah" I nod. "Some of the things you say to me comes across like that. Like I say I know we're best friends so we're super close and stuff but there's close and there's close if you know what I mean."

"No I don't know what you mean" Brittany states.

"Britt you just seem to be a lot more affectionate with me and you say things that are a little questionable considering we're just friends" I tell her.

"Maybe I'm doing things without properly realising I am so I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable because I didn't mean to" Brittany says genuinely while gently placing her hand in mine.

"Britt you're even doing it now" I say while gesturing down at our hands.

"I'm just trying to apologise for making you uncomfortable. I am holding your hand so you know I genuinely mean it" she replies.

"Britt it's not uncomfortable, it just seems different from usual that's all. I don't want you to think you've upset me or anything because you haven't. I just thought I should bring this up because it does seem a little unusual" I tell her.

"I appreciate you bringing it up because I wouldn't have realised if you hadn't" Brittany says. "I'll try and stop it from now on."

"You don't need to stop anything if there's nothing to it. I was just worried there was more to it but if there really isn't then we can just move past it, no big deal" I tell her.

"Ok" Brittany nods. "Although I am slightly confused why you'd think I was flirting and not just being over friendly because there is a big difference since I'm not actually into girls."

"I know it sounds weird but honestly, it really was coming across like you were flirting with me" I say slightly embarrassed now.

"Could you give me an example?" Brittany asks.

"Do you remember one of the days I went to your doctor's appointment with you and she thought we were a couple?" I ask and Brittany nods. "Well after we said we weren't, you said you could have me if you really wanted and that you might not be straight."

"Oh come on, I was just messing around with you because I thought it was funny how you completely dismissed the idea of us being a couple to the doctor" Brittany says waving it off.

"It's not just that though, it was stuff after that" I reply.

"Like what?" she asks.

"Well once we found out you were going to be in the pilot, you said that meant you were one step closer to getting me" I say.

"Santana that was all just a joke, I didn't realise you took a different meaning to it than me. I apologise for making you think I was flirting with you. I honestly was just teasing you" Brittany says and I can tell she's not lying. Maybe I have misjudged the situation and magnified it a bit.

"Ok maybe I just got the wrong end of the stick there but you definitely have been acting differently towards me with regards how much time we've been spending together and how close we've gotten" I say.

"Honey please don't read too much into things, we're best friends so I'm going to compliment you and tease you from time to time. There's really nothing more to it than that, ok?" Brittany says.

"Ok" I nod. Perhaps I am reading into certain things too much but I still believe there is something going on with her change in behaviour. If she says she wasn't flirting with me then I believe her but I know there has to be something else going on with her.

That's it for chapter 7, let me know what you think.