A/N: So some have wondered about Stefan's reaction to all of this and it inspired me to write from his POV for this chapter. So special shout out to LaKessy, and theavidreader4life, for your wonderful reviews and inspiration. And again thank you SO much to everyone who's read and reviewed this story. It means so much to me.

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of LJ Smith. No copyright infringement intended. I only take ownership of the plot.

Chapter 7

Stefan's journal entry…

No one ever wants to believe the bad that exists in someone. We are all viewed as altruistic caregivers here to make life bearable for all kind. Yet that is hardly ever the truth. Take my kind for example. If we see someone that sparks an interest in us, we pursue with little thought to the consequences which lie in wait. It is much the same practice for car thieves, junkies, and sex addicts. It is an unquenchable thirst which never changes shape or spots over the years. But through self-discipline it can be…controlled. Control is the cusp to nearly everything, to nearly all we do in life. Control our anger, our passion, our spite, and most importantly our thirst.

Stefan stopped writing. For most of the night he ignored the pulsing in his guns and the churning pain cramping his stomach but now it had reached its zenith. He no longer needed to pretend he wasn't hungry when he was starving because he had people in his life who understood him and vaguely understood his lifestyle.

To become what he was, at the time he did it for love. Call it being young, dumb, and full of cum but it seemed like a good idea at the time. For what was more honorable than dying for love?

Unfortunately he along with his brother ended up being fortune's fool.

Stefan rose from his small bed in the boardinghouse, and dumped his journal carelessly on the dresser top. He stared at his reflection.

If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and beat love down.

Those lines spoken by Mercutio Stefan, as of late, could really commiserate with. After getting Elena back from the spirit world, only to be separated by deception at the hands of his brother and a pair of naughty foxes, to be reunited with said girlfriend only to discover that she had fallen in love with his brother…

Unconsciously his hand tightened into a fist and before he could control it, Stefan smashed it into the mirror. Tiny and large shards of glass rained down. It didn't hurt him one iota. Nothing physically could hurt him, but his insides felt like they were in a constant state of flux, rearranging, enlarging and shrinking as each day passed.

At this point he wasn't sure what was worse: starving to death, or knowing the girl you loved with the passion of a thousand suns was in love with your brother.

Stefan brushed the tiny shards of glass off his knuckles and ran his tongue across his gums, before wrapping the tip around his protruding fang.

He couldn't put it off any longer. He had to go out and feed.

After that he'd stop by a furniture store and replace the mirror he destroyed.

If only the glass had been Damon's face it might have been enough to get him to laugh.

And naturally thoughts of his brother turned to thoughts of Elena.

He needed to move, Stefan realized. Leave town for good. Elena had been acting like a pendulum swinging between him and Damon. It was bad enough they shared DNA, but did they really need to share the same girl as well?

When he realized how much Elena loved Damon, Stefan was more than willing to step out of the way because he did not want history to repeat itself. Hell, he stabbed Damon through the heart because Katherine wanted them both and then she took her life (at least that's what they thought) because Damon and Stefan refused to share her.

The bitch was on drugs. You weren't supposed to drink the water back then, so she must have been consuming buckets of the stuff.

She was really warped in the head.

Flash forward to five hundred years later and they were at it again. Fighting over a girl who turned out to be Katherine's doppelganger.

They were not Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, King Arthur and Lancelot, men notorious for loving the same woman. They were siblings turned vampires who should have died centuries ago.

Shinichi, that hell-fox kitsune whose goal in life was to cause mischief and mayhem shared with the group that Elena had written a very telling journal entry. In this entry she expressed that she wanted them—two grown vampires to share her because ultimately she didn't want to make a choice and stick with it.

Well, f*ck that, Stefan reasoned. He wouldn't do it not even for Elena. He was man enough to tuck his tail between his legs and step aside if Damon was who she wanted to be with. He in essence would not play house with the both of them.

He did have some pride after all.

And no, he wasn't interested in being the consolation prize either. He didn't want Elena to be with him out a sense of obligation—that would have been far worse than being outright dumped.

If he had been the one to die on that moon in the dark dimension, would she have summoned the Wings of Destruction on his behalf?

Deep, deep, deep down inside Stefan didn't think that would have been the case.

Not to say she wouldn't mourn him. She just would have done so while sucking his brother's lips clean off his face.

That truth was like being castrated.

And poor Bonnie, she too had suffered right along with him.

Briefly Stefan thought back to that night, the night he went to go check on Bonnie when it was apparent she was staying away for reasons that had more to do than wanting to give Damon space.

It wouldn't be until later he found out the real reason behind Bonnie's refusal to leave her home.

She had caught Damon and Elena kissing rather passionately, blew a gasket, and severed ties with the group.

Livid was putting it mildly when Stefan had discovered Elena's infidelity. Yet he figured something like that would happen one day. Still when it came to fruition, he put on a brave face, and pulled on everything that made him a man not to wig the hell out.

Of course he couldn't look at Elena for several days too afraid he might hurt her. Damon—shrewdly had disappeared, so there was no outlet to express his frustration with the entire situation.

Well…unless you found that trail of mutilated and exsanguinated bodies of birds, ducks, and rabbits it was the only proof of his rage.

So he found himself heading over to the McCullough household because he desperately needed to share his pain with the one person who would understand the most.

Surprisingly he found Bonnie sitting on the rooftop of her home staring at the moon. He joined her there.

Tear tracks marked her large round dark brown eyes. She was completely disheveled and appeared as if she had been crying for days.

Stefan didn't begin the conversation by asking how she was. That was pretty much evident. Instead he wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer until she buried her head on his chest and continued to weep.

His own tears threatened to spill over, but Stefan tramped them down. He needed to be strong for Bonnie plus it would take his mind away from his own pain.

Being on the outs with someone was nothing new to him, but as he listened to Bonnie's sobs and felt her body trembling, he wasn't so sure she'd be able to recover from this intact.

"Why does it have to hurt so much, Stefan?"

"Because we were built to love, Bonnie, and when that ability is taken from us, or destroyed our souls mourn the pain of the loss."

"Why are you so calm? Elena betrayed you with your own brother," her words were spoken harshly.

Stefan sighed. "I have to have control because of what I am. If I gave into the rage that's inside of me right now, everyone in this town would be dead in under three hours."

Bonnie lifted her head after hearing his confession. Stefan who was more human than a vampire was virtually incapable of hurting anyone purposely. But to hear him say he was so incensed he'd go on a killing spree, morbidly pleased her.

"It's that serious?" she sniffled.

"Yes," Stefan inclined his head. "It's that serious."

"It was just so awful, Stefan…seeing them together like that…" Bonnie closed her eyes because mentally she was replaying that horrible scene from the kitchen.

"Stop torturing yourself," he admonished softly.

"I can't help it. It's all I think about day after day, night after night. It's permanently etched in my mind and there's nothing I can do to get it out."

That Stefan could understand perfectly.

"You're going to have to try because I refuse to allow you to let your life stall because of what you saw."

Bonnie sniffled again. Stefan knew what the real challenge with Bonnie was. She had been comparing the times Damon kissed her to the way she caught him kissing her best friend. When Damon had kissed her, it was to distract her before going in for her blood, or out of gratitude, but never out of ardent passion.

They grew quiet. Then Bonnie looked at him.

"You want to know what I keep asking myself?"

Stefan didn't say anything, just turned the full force of his leaf green eyes on her.

"Why wasn't I good enough."

Stefan made a noise of impatience in the back of his throat and tightened his hold on Bonnie.

"You are good enough for my brother; in fact you're too good for him. Damon, for all his pomp and circumstance has always been a first-class idiot too dumb to differentiate his hand from his ass. At least when it comes to matters of the heart…"

"Don't romanticize this for me, Stefan," Bonnie interrupted. "Say whatever it is that's in your heart."

He sighed again. She was right.

"I want to kill him. I want to dip him in an acid bath, peel the skin off his flesh and feed it to a mountain of ants. I want to give him a lobotomy Egyptian style, take a rusty wire hanger and just jam it up his nose and screw his brains around. Maybe Ms. Flowers can make a space on her wall above the fireplace mantle for his head after I cut it off."

Hmm, Bonnie wondered if she could sign Elena up for the same procedure.

There was silence again until Bonnie covered her mouth to hold in her giggles. Stefan snorted and before long he was laughing long and loud until his belly juggled. He hadn't laughed like that since—well never.

"Is that all?" Bonnie asked once getting her chuckles under control.

"For starters, but…in the end it wouldn't change anything."

Bonnie quickly sobered. Yeah, it wouldn't really stop her from feeling cheated and used.

"What are we going to do?" she asked suddenly in a child-like voice.

"What we can do…is admit to ourselves they love each other and that they love us, too."

Bonnie, "Ha!"

"And step two is to make our own happiness a priority."

"Easier said than done."

"Who said life would be without trials and tribulations," Stefan added. "And we can have fun along the way. I think that's still possible."

Bonnie shook her head. "I honestly can't remember the last time I had fun, real fun where I laughed all night and nothing bad happened."

"Don't feel too bad for yourself on that end. Compare your eighteen years to my five-hundred and seventeen and let me in whose favor the scale tips."

He had a point.

The two of them stood to their feet and embraced, Bonnie's arms going around his middle, Stefan's arms across her shoulders.

Elena had been the only human he really embraced because he had to be conscious of how much pressure to use when dealing with others. So it was different hugging Bonnie and feeling her little arms tighten around him. He could tell she was putting all of her strength into it and still her touch was feather light.

His hands suddenly cupped her cheeks and he lifted her head. They stared poignantly at one another and Stefan watched in awe as a single crystal tear rolled down her red cheek.

"You're beautiful, Bonnie McCullough don't ever doubt that." Stefan bended his knees a little and pressed his lips against her cheek to catch the tear before it dropped off her chin.

Next to blood, human tears were the next best thing to a vampire.

Not long after, he jumped down from the rooftop with Bonnie clutching him in fear.

"This might seem dumb," she began, "but I feel like you're going to disappear. If you left town…I'm not sure I'll be able to get past this, but I'd understand if you want to leave, and I won't blame you. I feel like running away all the time—honestly. To give myself some space. But if you left…I'd feel like I'm going through this all alone and I don't want to."

"I'm not going anywhere, Bonnie. I'll stay just for you. We'll help each other."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Stefan saw the relief flash in her eyes.

They hugged again before Bonnie snuck back into her house.

Back to the present…

Stefan could hear Ms. Flowers downstairs humming while she prepared dinner for the following night. He didn't want to disturb her and he wasn't in the mood to have pleasant conversation. The older lady was good at keeping her distance and not prying. In her own way she had become his grandmother and he respected her opinion, it did not mean he actually wanted to talk about his feelings.

So he made his escape through the window and gracefully jumped down to the waiting earth below.

The sun had finished setting so the nocturnal creatures would be out and about.

Lately it was a little more difficult to find a rabbit or wayward deer. Stefan figured that wildlife was getting hip to his schedule and were working overtime to conceal themselves from his preternatural hearing and sight. On most nights he had to travel two counties over to find something running on four legs.

The blood was never fulfilling. Not after drinking from humans uninhibitedly for several weeks after his rescue from the dark dimension. But Stefan had to force his body to accept the lukewarm blood of four-legged mammals because he couldn't go on feeding from Matt, Bonnie, Meredith, Bonnie, and Elena for the rest of his life. And he wouldn't hunt humans. His conscience just wouldn't let him go that route.

He started out on foot and then transformed into a hawk. Transfiguration took an immeasurable amount of Power and nearly drained him every time he changed, but he enjoyed feeling the wind on his face, and flying to the top of the stratosphere. There was quite simply nothing to compare it to.

So many developments had taken place in just a short amount of time, he found himself thinking. Bonnie had returned and threw a wrench in the Damon/Elena game plan. There was a new man in her life; he could smell the pheromones between Bonnie and Leith. Leith seemed cool but again, he didn't know much about him to form a true opinion. Maybe he'd be good for Bonnie or maybe not, only time would tell, but just for her, he'd keep an eye on him if he chose to stick around.

Tomorrow night was dinner at Aunt Judith's. Stefan sighed as he flew between trees at break neck speeds.

These superficial dinners weren't getting him any closer to his goal, and he had a mind to just stop going altogether. If Elena really wanted to be in his life, it wouldn't feel like work it should be effortless. And perhaps he was partly to blame for that considering he treated her like a formal acquaintance rather the girl who was the center of his world. But hey…like its advised in sports across the board, protect yourself.

And that's what he would continue to do.

He'd protect himself even from himself if he had to.

There. He spotted a white rabbit hopping between bushes. Stefan slowed his momentum and began to transform back into "human" form landing soundlessly on the ground.

He easily snatched the rabbit, felt it struggle in his hands while his fangs descended.

Another one bites the dust.

Chapter end.

A/N: To all PETA affiliates no animals were harmed in the writing of this story. Again thanks for reading, and reviewing. Up next…a sneaky Elena, jealous Damon, and some Bamon goodness. And don't forget to let me know what you think!