Okay. I'm gonna get all emotional on you guys for a minute. I just wanted to thank each and every one of you guys for your favourites, alerts and reviews. You guys genuinely make me incredibly happy knowing that you like my stories, and I've cried several times when getting reviews. You guys are all so amazing, and I never, ever, want to stop hearing from you. I'm sure one day I'll most likely stop writing, or at least stop posting here (I hope not, but it could happen) and if and when that happens, I'm going to be devastated. You guys have no clue how much it means to me knowing that you are actually anticipating a chapter of my stories. And now I'm crying again. Thanks, Hermione. (Congrats, you know you're a StarKid when you just read that in Joey Richters' voice, like I did!)
So, apparently, my beta, GleekMom, sat in the McDonalds parking lot when reading this, and I made her cry! Awwww. I'm sorry hun, but I guess that just means this chapter is as good as she seems to think it is. For anyone who doesn't know, (Which is probably all of you except GleekMom), I scrapped this chapter something like seven times and completely re-wrote it twice before I sent this to her for Betaing. I, unfortunately, have not been able to really get in the Christmas spirit this year. It's my first one without having my kids around all the time, and my second without my ex-husband. I'll be going to my family's for Christmas dinner, but that's really all. So, I've spent the last five days or so working on this and listening to Glee Christmas music. I must say, the Glee version of the Island of MisfitToys song, is definitely my favourite. Sorry Klainers! BICO takes second place, only because hearing Kurt sing about being a water pistol filled with jelly gets me every damn time! XD
So, Merry Christmas to all of you! This is my present to you, a chapter that is a little bit longer than the rest of them. Also, an authors note that is a little bit longer too (How the devil did that happen?) Love you all, I hope the holidays are great for each and every one of you, even if Christmas isn't your thing! Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, whatever you celebrate I hope it's a good time of year for you! Now, quit reading this incredibly long A/N and start reading the story! XD
Kurt blinked softly against the pale moonlight streaming in from the window. He had woken, his heart pounding with excitement as he realised what day it was. He looked over at his very own alarm clock, that his mommy had bought for him for his birthday, and noticed the time that he could read all by himself. 4:38AM.
So. It was still really early. So why had he woken up? He lay there, dozing a little, until he heard the sounds of someone moving downstairs. He sat up, missing the warmth of his blankets immediately, and wrapped his arms around himself to keep his heat in. He slipped slowly from the bed, sliding his feet into the soft slippers by the bed, and shrugging on the warm bathrobe he used after his showers. Then he stole to the top of the stairs, wondering if he should risk slipping down them to see if Santa was there.
His hand rested lightly on the banister, his blue-green eyes trying to focus on what was happening in the living room below him. All he could see were shadows, but it looked like two people, rather than one. He climbed carefully down the stairs, making sure to miss the creaky one the sixth from the bottom. He placed his feet carefully, remembering what his father had told him about the stairs being dangerous if he fell. There was a turn on the stairs, and if he fell, he would smash his head on the wall, so Kurt took his time.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he was surprised to see, instead of Santa, it was his parents. His mommy was sitting on the couch, watching daddy put presents under the tree. They were smiling and giggling softly at each other, and all of a sudden Daddy picked up a present and held it out to her.
"What's this one?" Kurt's mommy laughed, her musical voice tinkling like soft bells as she tried to keep her voice quiet.
"That's the tea set you bought him in June, Burt," she stated softly, her eyes full of love and laughter as his Daddy huffed, and put the present under the tree gently. He was finally finished placing the presents, and carefully sat beside his wife. She snuggled into his side, and he wrapped his arms lovingly around her. Kurt smiled. He knew he had a very special family. They all loved each other very much, and he knew a lot of kids at school whose parents weren't so lucky. Andrew Jacobs' parents were getting a divorce. Kurt wasn't really sure what divorce was, but knew it was bad.
"I swear, Burt, as soon as you wrap them they go completely out of your mind!" Kurt's mommy laughed again, and his daddy giggled beside her. Kurt's eyes widened, and so did his smile. Daddy giggled. The same way Kurt usually did! He clapped his hand over his mouth to stop himself from joining in to the soft laughter coming from the couch. "I'm never sure who is more surprised on Christmas morning," Kurt's mommy continued. "Between you and Kurt, both of your reactions are priceless!" The two on the couch giggled again, and then suddenly the scene faded away.
Kurt was no longer on the stairs, watching his parents enjoying themselves. He was sitting in his room, and he was crying. A year had passed since the night when his mother and father had been on the couch, giggling softly, and he missed the simpler times. He was older, by a year, but he felt so much older that he almost couldn't stand it. He clutched the small ceramic teapot to his chest, and wiped his nose with his sleeve. Then he felt mildly disgusted by what he had done, and walked to the bathroom to blow his nose properly.
When he emerged from the bathroom, he heard sounds in the living room. His heart leapt in his chest, remembering what had happened last year when he had crept down the stairs. Would he get a Christmas miracle? Kurt raced as quietly as possible to the top of the stairs and descended, missing the sixth from the bottom as it squeaked.
He sat in precisely the same spot as last year, and looked into the living room. To his dismay, there was his father, slowly pulling presents from a large plastic bag, identical to last year. There was no joy in the room. In fact, his father had tears rolling down his cheeks as he carefully placed the presents under the tree. He was muttering to himself, and Kurt could make out some of the words.
"…it's a train set, Elizabeth…" Burt pulled a long present from the bag, placing it with tender care beneath the pine boughs. "See? I never forgot what I bought him, Liz. I just always loved seeing your reactions when you thought I had…" Kurt's father broke down, kneeling on the floor, his hands covering his face as he cried. It hurt Kurt's heart to know his father hurt so badly, and so he shuffled slowly into the room, waiting for his father to acknowledge him.
When Burt looked up, Kurt's heart broke into a million pieces. He had never seen his father look so broken as he did right then; he had always been so strong since Elizabeth had died. Burt sniffled softly, focussing on his son in the dim light of the lamp.
"Kurt? What are you doing up, son?" Burt wiped away the tears as though they had never happened, although his face was still slightly splotchy. Kurt moved across the room quickly, launching himself at his father, who caught him and held him close.
"I miss mommy," Kurt began crying again, wrapping his arms around his dad and begging for the pain to go away in his heart. It wasn't fair! He said so out loud.
"I know it's not fair, buddy." Burt's voice was filled with sorrow, and Kurt could almost hear the tears streaming down his face again. "I miss her too. But you and me, we are good, okay?" Burt pulled away from Kurt a little, raising his tear stained face to look him in the eyes. "You and me, we're going to be just fine. We're going to miss mommy, but we're going to do it together, okay? No more crying alone. I love you, and if you need someone to hold you when you miss mommy, just you tell me, all right? And if I need you, I'll tell you too. Promise?" Kurt nodded softly, his vision blurry from the tears. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision, but everything faded again.
When things cleared he was in Burt's old workshop. It smelled like motor oil, and grease, and the sounds of the air ratchet reverberated in the small space. He looked around, wondering why he was here. Then his mother and his father stepped out from the office. Kurt's eyes widened, as he realised they couldn't possibly be here together. His dad had bought the shop after his mom had passed away, and she had never been there in her life. Kurt finally understood that he was dreaming.
"Oh, Kurt, my darling little boy," Elizabeth said softly, holding her arms out to her son. Kurt hesitated for only a moment, then launched himself into her waiting embrace. He began weeping openly, his lungs breathing deeply of the slight floral jasmine and vanilla scent she always wore. He remembered the smell so well, especially as he kept a small bottle of it around to keep her memory alive. He simply stood there, breathing her in. Then he felt a soft touch at his back. He turned around, and stepped into his father's waiting arms as well. His tears never stopped. He breathed in his father now, a mix of motor oil and Old Spice after-shave. It was a scent more familiar than his mother's vanilla and jasmine; it had been comforting for so long Kurt only needed a whiff of it to calm him.
Burt pulled back, his soft eyes watching his son carefully. When he spoke, it was with a breathy quality that Kurt had never before heard from his father: his voice almost echoed with deepness, but reverberated in a way that made Kurt wonder about it. He didn't know why his father spoke like that; after a few moments he didn't care.
"Son. Our Kurt. We love you. So very much. We are so sorry for everything you've been through the past couple of years." Burt rumbled. His mother came forward, her fingers entwining with Kurt's as she leaned forward to press a kiss against his cheek. She took over the talking.
"Kurt, I know we left you alone, in a world that doesn't accept who you are. And for that, I am so sorry. If I could go back in time and reverse it, I would." Kurt's chest hurt as he sought to drag more air into his lungs. He felt like he was going to explode.
"Kurt," Burt continued. "We need you to keep fighting, Kurt. You are so much stronger than you believe. And you have Blaine to keep you grounded. And you have Carole and Finn to keep you sane. They are your family too, Kurt. Never think that they aren't. They care for you just as much as Liz and I do. And they are there, waiting for you to embrace them…" Burt's voice trailed off, becoming nothing more than a distant memory, as Kurt began his slow trek to wakefulness.
Kurt opened his eyes to the soft sound of water running. He sat up in bed, and felt a tear slide down his cheek. He looked around; he was at Blaine's. He had taken up sleeping in Blaine's bed with him, and the covers beside him were still slightly warm. Kurt drew in a long, shuddering breath, and began to cry in earnest. He hadn't dreamed of his parents in a long time, and to have them show up in his dreams now meant that he truly did have a lot of stress in his life.
He pulled his knees up to his chin, and wrapped his arms around them, trying to gain some warmth and strength from the motion. When Blaine finally emerged from the bathroom, Kurt had fallen back to sleep, his head resting on his knees and his back was propped up against the headboard. Blaine took note of the tear tracks on Kurt's face, and he slid the man back into bed. He kissed his love good bye, ever thankful that today was Kurt's one day off this week, gently covered Kurt with the blankets, and left a note on the pillow, letting Kurt know he had headed in to work. He left the other man snoring gently.
Kurt was genuinely flabbergasted. His mouth kept opening and closing like a fish as he stared at the paycheck he held in his hands. He looked up at Melody, who watched his face with some concern.
"Is it not enough?" She asked hesitantly, reaching her hand up to his shoulder and squeezing slightly. The touch brought him out of his trance and he launched himself at her, wrapping her up in a huge hug.
It was now three weeks after Kurt had begun working at Forever 21 with Melody, and he had just received his first pay. He pulled back from the hug, and Melody was concerned to see tears in his eyes.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry if it's not enough," Melody apologised, but was stopped by the man before her.
"It's too much!" Kurt replied, wiping a tear from his eye as he focussed on the slightly over a thousand-dollar check in his hand. Melody looked at the check, and frowned.
"No, that's the amount I signed for. After all, you are the Assistant Manager now," Melody smiled softly as Kurt gasped. He knew Melody had asked his opinion a lot over the course of the past three weeks, but he had never in his life expected to be promoted after three weeks.
"You… you can't just let some guy off the street take over the Assistant Manager position, Melody," Kurt chided her gently, and she smiled back.
"You aren't just some guy off the street anymore, Kurt. I never would have managed to get through this holiday season without you. After everything we've done together these past few weeks, I needed you to know I find you indispensable. I don't want you going anywhere." And she pulled Kurt back into another hug. "Now go, and have fun! It looks like Blaine is waiting for you!" Melody gestured to the front of the store, where Blaine was indeed standing waiting for him. Kurt hugged Melody one last time for good measure, and went to catch up to his boyfriend.
It was two days until Christmas, and Kurt hadn't bought anything for anyone. He hadn't had the money. Now, as he walked around the mall with Blaine, he mentally made a list of everyone he had to buy gifts for.
"…and then the elf said just shoot it… uh, Kurt?" Kurt blinked, his focus coming back onto the man he loved, who was staring at him in some trepidation. "You okay?" Blaine asked softly, his hand coming up and resting gently on Kurt's hip. "You're being awfully quiet today. Usually you're chattering like a blue jay after work. What's up?" Kurt couldn't get enough of the adorable concern on Blaine's face, and smiled at the other man.
"Pay day," Kurt grinned, earning himself an answering grin from Blaine. "Wanna help me get gifts for everyone?" Blaine wrapped Kurt's hand in his own, gesturing in front of him grandly.
"Lead on! I'll follow wherever you want to go!" And Kurt happily pulled Blaine around the mall until closing time.
Christmas dinner was being held at the Anderson's. It was the only place where everyone fit. The Anderson's were there, of course, as were Carole and Finn. Melody had closed the store early, and had brought her boyfriend and her kids. Rachel and her dads were there, and most of the glee club. Coach Beiste was there. Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury were there too. A few of Blaine's former high school friends were there as well; they called themselves Warblers. Kurt wasn't sure what to make of that. Even Sue Sylvester had been invited, but she had chosen to remain absent as they had not provided her with an actual reindeer to eat for her Christmas dinner.
"It's not Christmas until you've shot, killed and eaten reindeer!" Sue had said sardonically, before pulling on her ski mask, clambering onto her snowmobile, and barrelling off to who-knows-where. Kurt didn't even want to think about where she was going.
The house had been decorated by the staff, but the tree had been put up by the family. Kurt had been included as part of the family, and so had been there when Mr. Anderson had made the announcement that he was throwing a large Christmas feast, and would Blaine and Kurt please invite all of their friends.
Now it was Christmas Eve, and the party was in full swing. Rather than having the staff wait on them, Mrs. Anderson had asked that the dinner be set up buffet-style, and the staff were given the rest of the evening and Christmas day off. As everyone piled their plates high with turkey and all of the trimmings, Kurt couldn't help but be astonished at the amount of people that could fit into this dining room. Sure, he'd known it was huge, but this was getting crazy. There had to be over a hundred people in the room, and although all of the chairs were full, it wasn't any kind of formal arrangement. People were continuously coming and going from the room, as the entire house was open to the guests.
Kurt had plunked himself down beside Blaine, his plate significantly less full than his boyfriends'. Blaine looked over at Kurt from where he sat, his eyebrows raising as he took in the small amount of food on Kurt's plate. His eyes questioned silently, as his mouth was full and he didn't want to be rude.
"I'm not about to allow myself to get fat just because turkey is so good," Kurt commented acerbically, looking down at his plate as he slowly flushed at Blaine's attentiveness. Blaine carefully finished chewing and swallowed, then replied in his own way.
"Take as much or as little as you want Kurt. I won't force you to do otherwise. But know this; I wouldn't think you were fat if you weighed three hundred pounds. I think you are perfect the way you are, and no force on earth is going to make me change my mind. I love you." Kurt blinked softly at the comment and the admission, and felt his heart swell with love for the other man. Perhaps he would take a bit more; once he was finished with what was on his plate, anyway.
Once dinner was completed, the guests congregated in the den. With over a hundred people in the large room, it didn't feel quite so large anymore. In fact, it seemed decidedly small, especially with the twelve foot Christmas tree that dominated the corner of the room. There were presents under the tree, which Kurt had believed were simply there for decoration. He could not have been more wrong.
"Ho! Ho! Ho! Joyeux Noel!" Came a booming voice from the hallway, and Kurt had to cover his mouth from giggling incessantly. Apparently, Alain had been conscripted to play the part of Santa. This would be interesting, to say the least.
"'Allo to all you boys and girls who are waiting for me tonight…" Alain slurred softly, and Kurt actually did break out in giggles. Apparently someone had spiked Alain's eggnog, because the man was definitely not quite sober at the moment. As he handed out gifts to the people in the room, there were quite a number of quick laughs as Alain got names wrong, mispronounced names, and even called a few people who weren't there. Kurt found the situation hilarious.
"Maintenant, I would be happy to give un cadeau to my good ami, Kurt Hummel!" Kurt laughed again, along with a number of other people, as he made his way to the front of the room. Instead of just handing off the present like he had with everyone else, Alain grabbed Kurt's hand and twirled him, so that they were standing facing the rest of the room. Kurt felt his face heat up as he giggled nervously. What the hell was Alain doing?
Alain pulled a small present from the farthest corner of beneath the tree. It was tiny, no bigger than his hand, and Kurt wondered what on earth it could be. As he accepted the gift from Alain, he felt the other man's arms go around him, pulling him in for a warm hug.
"This gift, it's from all of us. Everyone here." Alain breathed softly, pulling back just a bit, and kissing Kurt gently on both cheeks. Kurt flushed again, his eyes bright with unshed tears. It had been so long since he had felt at home and wanted, that the feelings were now overwhelming him. "Go on, Kurt. Ouvrez le boit."
Kurt pulled at the wrapping paper, not noticing the silence that had descended over the room. Everyone watched as he opened the little box, confusion flickering over his face as he pulled out a set of battered old keys. He held them up, his heart leaping in his chest as he recognised them. The tears began sliding down his face, and a great, wracking sob erupted from his throat. Blaine came forward with a concerned look on his face.
"Kurt? Kurt, are you okay?" Blaine wrapped the other man up in his arms, cuddling him close. "I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted. We… I just thought this would be more personal, you know?" Blaine's voice cracked as Kurt's arms squeezed him tight.
"It's…" Kurt shuddered, trying to regain his voice. "It's the keys to my old house. I lost them… forever ago… I didn't… How did you…?" Carole stepped forward at this point, her eyes full of bright tears too, and wrapped Kurt up in her arms.
"You left them at our house, sweetie. Before you left. They were on the counter for a few days before I realised you weren't coming back to get them. I put them away for you, until you returned. But you never did. But Kurt, the keys are only part of the present," Kurt looked up anxiously. What else could they have possibly gotten for him? He watched Mr. Anderson walk up with a slight smile on his face. He was holding a sheaf of papers that seemed important. He held them up as he got closer.
"Son, we all wanted you to know how much we care about you." A rumble of agreement filled the room; even the people Kurt didn't know so well were smiling at him. What was going on? "Your friends and family have gathered together to give you the one thing we know killed you to lose. This," Mr. Anderson held up the paper. "This is the mortgage to both your old home and your father's garage, Kurt." And Mr. Anderson threw the papers in the fireplace. Kurt gaped as he watched the fire consume the papers greedily.
"And this," Came a new voice as Mrs. Anderson stepped from the other side of the room. "This is the deed to the properties your father owned. Both of them." She handed the papers to Kurt, who looked over them with blurry, tear-filled eyes. He could hear sniffles coming from around the room, and as he looked around, he saw the smiling faces of his loved ones. He was shocked. He wasn't sure what to do with this information. His friends; no, his family had gathered together to buy him the one thing he wanted more than anything else: his life back. He couldn't go back in time and prevent his parents from dying. But he could keep them living on in his memories, and he would.
Kurt stepped forward, embracing both Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. He hugged Alain, and Mercedes, and the rest of the club. He hugged Mr. Schue, and Ms. Pillsbury, and even got a hug from each of the Warblers, Wes, David, Jeff, Nick and Trent. He made his way around the room, thanking everyone profusely, and crying the entire time. By the time he made his way back to the front of the tree, he was starting to endure a major headache from all of the emotions he was forced to deal with. Blaine found him there, and wrapped his arms around the taller man.
"You okay?" Blaine whispered softly, his voice low as though he knew that Kurt was in pain. Kurt nodded gently, sliding his hands to Blaine's hips, pulling him closer for a tight hug.
"I'm amazing, Blaine. I've never…" Kurt took a shaky breath. "I've never felt more loved than I do right now. I know that sounds horrible, because both of my parents loved me very much," Blaine nodded, his forehead resting against Kurt's lovingly.
"They did. But we do too, and we need you to know just how much we love you. I love you." Blaine whispered again, his head tilting up just a touch to press their lips together softly. "You ready to go? You look like this has been kind of overwhelming for you," Kurt chuckled tearfully.
"Hmmm…. You think?" Kurt kissed Blaine again, and then pulled away, nodding at the curly-haired man that he was ready to go. Blaine raised his voice then, calling out that he and Kurt were about to retire for the night, and anyone who wanted to say good night had better do so now. A shuffle was heard out in the hallway, and a feminine voice called back "We're not quite ready!" A giggle ran through the crowd as they listened to the exchange, and then the voice from the hall called back "Okay, now we're ready!" Blaine shook his head in amused exasperation. A set of drums and a guitar started from somewhere in the hallway, as the old members of New Directions and the Warblers filed into the room, singing together.
Finn took the lead, as usual. Kurt smiled softly to see the man take up the lead naturally, as though he had been born to it.
It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade
Mercedes took the next verse, and sang it with all of the heart-felt joy she possessed. Kurt felt his heart swell with love for the girl.
And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy!
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time
The beat and the pace picked up, and Kurt giggled a little to see Rachel step forward, her eyes lighting up as she sang. No matter how he hated her diva better-than-anyone attitude, he had to respect her as well. The girl could sing!
But say a prayer - pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun
Sam joined in, his voice mingling with Rachel's to make a beautiful duet.
There's a world outside your window, And it's a world of dreaded fear
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
Everyone standing there began to sing, and Kurt had never been prouder of his friends. They were singing from the heart. This had been rehearsed, but it wasn't a competition. Quinn wasn't fighting with Rachel, Sam had his arm slung around Puck's shoulders in camaraderie, and even the Warblers were relaxed and having fun.
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows, No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Here's to you, Raise your glass for everyone
Here's to them, Underneath that burning sun
Suddenly the entire room began singing. The sound echoed off the walls, and Kurt couldn't hold back his tears any longer. The group singing shuffled up to him, and they all leaned forward, one at a time, hugging him and showing how much they cared.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
With a chorus of good nights from all the partygoers, Kurt and Blaine slipped away. They made their way to Kurt's bedroom, hands clasped tightly as they walked. Kurt let out a huge yawn, his other hand clenching tight to the keys that were so incredibly important to him. Blaine smiled as he watched where Kurt was going; deftly maneuvering him around a large potted plant when it looked like Kurt wasn't going to dodge.
When they made it to Kurt's room, Blaine pulled back the covers on the bed while Kurt mused, thinking back over the last couple of years and wondering if he really could go back to the way things were. He was starting to, of course. Having his friends and family back in his life started the process. But, could he handle being in the garage without Burt? His breath gave a little hitch as he wondered, and a tear slowly trickled down his cheek.
Blaine watched his boyfriend reminisce. As he watched the tear fall, he correctly guessed that Kurt was missing his father. He wrapped his arms around Kurt, tugging him close, and held him gently as the man cried. By the time Kurt finally fell asleep, Blaine was so heavy-lidded himself he couldn't have made it as far as his own bed if he'd tried. So he slid down a bit further, flicked the covers over both of them, and slipped silently into sleep; content in the knowledge that Kurt was going to be okay.
Happy Holidays, you guys. I love you, one and all.