Amnesia? Is that my name?

Hehehe, Hello all you out there in Reader Land! Azelf1717, thank you for adding to this chapter. I estimate . . . . 3 more chapters left before this story's done. But never fear! The Sequel is near! I've got nothing else to say up here so . . .

Szayel: Yesterday-chan owns this idea and every other idea she has and will come up with. She does not own Bleach. Thank Aizen for that.

Damn Pinky! Why are you so mean?! I'll gender swap you next!

Szayel: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

I'm not buying it.

~*~

Ulquiorra is Szayel's self-proclaimed Best Friend

Szayel sighed.

"Can you watch Ulquiorra for me? I got a mission. See ya, thanks!" The Sexta said, pushing his temporary fraccion towards the pinkette. He disappeared down the hallway before the Octava could answer. "Hello Octava." The dark haired arrancar smiled brightly as she greeted the Espada.

"Ulquiorra don't touch that!" The bespectacled man snapped. Ulquiorra's index finger curled back, away from the glowing green test tube rack. "Octava!" She barked, "I'm a higher rank than you! Don't order me around like a dog!"

Szayel blinked, "You're a fraccion. As an Espada, I have a higher rank -" "Ah, no you don't. Last time I checked, 4was better than 8." Ulquiorra interrupted in her know-it-all voice. "You remember???!!!" He nearly shouted, beaming with anticipation. "Remember what? What is there to fuckin' remember? I just know I have a fuckin' four right here!" she gestured to the area where her heart would have been. "Wanna see?" Szayel blushed and shook his head.

"And just because I'm a fraccion, doesn't mean I'm fuckin' weaker than you." She stated, crossing her arms and turning her head away. "Trash." she added as an afterthought.

Szayel's fingers twitched towards Fomicaras, but he quickly thought better of the impulse. Had he drawn his sword and attacked, Ulquiorra could destroy him. If, per chance, she didn't, the feline arrancar that was her master would. Grimmjow would beat the tar out of him, shove it back in, and beat it out again. Because, after evaluating Grimmjow's reactions to Ulquiorra's antics, the pink headed arrancar determined that he secretly liked the amnesiac arrancar.

Hell, Grimmjow himself probably didn't even know that he liked the girl. But one thing about the new Ulquiorra was that she was easier to like than her pre-accident self.

"There's an Espada meeting and I don't trust you alone. So you're going to sit in the corner and be quiet. Ok?" Szayel informed the willowy female. She nodded solemnly, but bit her lip with her 'hurt look' on her doll-like face. "Why don't you trust me?!" She whispered. Szayel opened up his mouth but Ulquiorra interrupted him, "Best friends are supposed to trust each other! I'm your Best Friend! You're supposed to trust me! I trust you! Why don't you trust me?! Master trusts me! Why don't you?" Szayel opened his mouth to answer, but that wasn't what came out of his mouth.

"Grimmjow trusts you? If he trusts you, then why did he leave you with me?"

Ulquiorra let out an exaggerated sigh, "Master has paranoia. (she drew out the word to add to its effect) He doesn't trust Quinta. Or Decima. Or Segunda. And I said I wanted to spend the day with my Best Friend! So Master dropped me off here!"

Szayel raised an eyebrow, Grimmjow? Protecting his worst enemy? Or maybe, since Ulquiorra was less harmless than a newborn kitten, his minimalist of a fraccion was worth protecting.

Catching sight of the clock on his wall, the Octava swore loudly, causing Ulquiorra to make a scathing noise. Hypocrite. "We're late!" He screamed, roughly grabbing hold of the girl's wrist and zooming down the hallway. "No! You're late! I don't have to go!" Ulquiorra corrected the pinkette.

~*~

"Aizen-sama I apologize for my tardiness." Szayel said upon entering. Ulquiorra walked in behind him and whistled, "This place is big . . ." "Ulquiorra. Nice to see you . . . haven't . . . remembered, have you?" Aizen faltered at the end when he realized the ex-Cuarta hadn't regained her memories. Green eyes flashed dangerously with anger, but Ulquiorra didn't show her fury in her words, "Hello Aizen-sama! Hey Gin-san, Tousen-san! 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 10! Hi!" Several of those greeted by the girl returned the warm feelings; such as Gin, who waved, Halibel, who gave her a brief "hi", and Luppi, who smiled.

Ulquiorra seated herself on the floor in the corner, as her Best Friend had told her. But the kind brunette man politely instructed her to sit in-between Halibel and Nnoitra. The amnesiac's emerald green orbs widened in surprise, but she obediently sat in the tall chair. The giant next door loomed over her like a storm cloud; she shuddered. "Nnoitra, it would be greatly appreciated if you would pay attention." Aizen called attention to the spoon, forcing him to back off.

Aizen gave a briefing on the status of all this stuff that Ulquiorra didn't really care about. Luckily, she woke up just as the King of Hueco Mundo asked if there were any questions.

"Aizen-sama! I have a question!" All heads turned to the high, hyper voice. "Ulquiorra?" Aizen raised an eyebrow. The girl smiled, "Yup! I wanna know why we always get tea! No likes it! Tea would be better if we had cookies to go with it! Can we have cookies?" Gin giggled, "Ulqui-chan is a genius!" All the Espada stared at the silver fox. Ulquiorra just blinked innocently, "Thank you . . .?"

~*~

"I feel pretty! Oh, so pretty! I feel so pretty and witty and gay!"

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves-"

Two figures skipped up and down the hallway. One, a slim dark haired female, the other a tall pink headed male. Ulquiorra let out loud, crazed laughter, "-And this is how it goes-"

"What is going on?" Halibel asked Nnoitra, who had observed the two get high off sugar. "Sugar rush. It's very entertaining . . ."

Szayel skipped up to Nnoitra, and with a big jump, managed to peck the mantis on the lips. "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gay-" He scream/sang as he skipped away. Ulquiorra whistled from behind Nnoitra. The Quinta spun around to hit the annoying brat, but stopped when he realized she was whistling Darth Vader's Theme song while watching Aaroniero cross the hall. She stopped when he escaped her sight.

The clueless girl scanned the area quickly, "Where'd my best friend go?!" Halibel pointed up the hall. "He abandoned me! Ooooooo . . . I'm telling!" She called as she pranced after him.

Nnoitra fingered his mouth, dazed. WTF?!

Ulquiorra raced down the hall and found Szayel rummaging through his drawers, searching fervently for . . . something of apparent value. "I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shrieked, holding up a small blue tube like it was the Holy Grail. "What is it?" The ex-Cuarta questioned, interested in the little tube.

"WHY IT'S ONLY MY GREATEST INVENTION!" The pink scientist shouted. "Super Super Super Super Glue!" "Super Glue?" Ulquiorra repeated, confused. "No, Super Super Super Super Glue." "Oh! Super Super Super Super Glue!" She confirmed. Szayel nodded sagely. "I have an idea!" Ulquiorra beamed as her creative enigma she called a brain hatched an idea.

Szayel was all ears.

~*~

"Gin. Can you help me?" Aizen pleaded. The silver haired man skipped over to his superior. "What's tha problem, Sosuke?" He asked with his incriminating smile. "I can't pick up my tea cup." Gin sweatdroped. "Uh . . . Aizen? Ain't ya suppose ta be tha all powerful leader? An ya can't pink up yer tea cup?"

" . . . Well you try!" Gin grabbed the handle and lifted the cup like normal.

Except it didn't lift. The white porcelain refused to move. Gin's smile faltered for a split second before he tried again. And again, and again, and again . . . "Sosuke, I'm gonna go get'cha 'nother cup a tea . . ." He muttered humiliated after his 32-ed try. Aizen made a move to get up, but he failed to budge. Gin stormed out of the room, a slight pout on his face.

"Gin?" The brunette called out. "Gin? Can you help me? I appear to be stuck. Gin?!"

"GIN?!"

~*~

Ulquiorra stared at the bubble covered box. "Mega-Suds?" She stared at it for a good couple seconds, the smiled. "It has possibilities."

~*~

"THE END IS NYE! LAS NOCHES IS FLOODING!" Usually calm Halibel screamed as she ran into Aizen's quarters. She ran in circles, arms raised above her head, screaming about the "Apocalypse!" She took no notice of her leader's mortified expression, of his hoarse pleas for help. "Halibel, please help . . . I've been super glued to my throne-" "HOLY SHIT AIZEN CAN'T HELP US! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AGAIN!" She screamed loudly before making a mad dash to the massive double doors that formed the entrance to Aizen's throne room.

The Tercera threw open the doors only to be suffocated by a wave of soap bubbles. Soon not a bit of the woman could be seen. She was completely submerged in bubbles. Aizen stared at the bubble wave of impending doom, unable to move, unable to escape.

He was so screwed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

~*~

An hour after his sugar rush had ceased to be and Las Noches was bubble-free (for the most part), Szayel returned to his lab. He was brooding about his actions, the actions he was not proud of. The Super Super Super Super Glue and the Mega-Suds were not the actions that bothered him. It was the other one . . . How embarrassing, to have kissed his superior . . . And it was Nnoitra. Nnoitra. "He feels pretty! Oh so pretty! He feels pretty and witty and GAY!" Ulquiorra sang in her spot in the corner, laughing her head off at the Grantz's dilemma. The man glared at her, immediately causing her to shut up.

After an hour of a suspicious silence, the pinkette glanced up and nearly had a heart attack. Ulquiorra was playing around with some of his scientific concoctions. She held two test tubes in her hands, both filled with two different explosive compounds. Szayel fainted when she mixed them together. Ulquiorra dropped the explosive and ran to the Octava's side just before the small tube blew up.

"Best Friend? Best Friend, are you ok? Best Friend? Best Frieeeeeeee-end!" Ulquiorra trilled. Szayel didn't respond. "Oh no! Best Friend fainted!" The amnesiac shrieked. She nudged him with her white booted toe. No response.

"Well, if Best Friend is sleeping, than I gonna let him take his nap." She decided, stepping over him and quietly tip-toeing out of his room. She stared at the drawing that spanned the whole wall. She smiled, happy that everyone liked it. Emerald orbs scanned the drawing for her favorite arrancar. Slowly, almost tentatively, the girl made her way to the strip of wall that was Grimmjow.

"Hello Master," She said, her voice barely above a whisper, "I miss you . . . a lot. Octava is my Best Friend, but nothing's - . . . you understand, right?" The picture did not reply. "Yeah, I knew you would. When are you coming back?" She questioned the painted wall. It was amazing; Grimmjow's picture didn't say anything. "Ok," Ulquiorra replied, obviously she heard something, "Promise?"

The raven haired girl sighed heavily, and walked back to the door that had the gothic black 8.

When Szayel came to, he found Ulquiorra sitting on the examination bed throwing objects at something on the ceiling. A closer inspection revealed that she was tossing objects at a helium balloon on his ceiling. When asked why, the dark headed arrancar merely replied, "I am trying to pop it."

"Where did you get a helium balloon?" Szayel asked as he saw Ulquiorra chuck a pencil and miss spectacularly. "I have my ways." She stated mysteriously with a grin as the pen she fired at the balloon struck its target with a small 'pop'.

~*~

"Master!" The troublesome girl shouted, running up and tackling Grimmjow to the ground in a hug. "You're back!" "Yeah, now get off!" He hissed. Being the obedient little fraccion she was now, Ulquiorra detached herself from the tired Espada.

"I'm gonna go sleep. Don't bother me." He growled as he sauntered towards his room. Familiar sniffles made him turn around. Ulquiorra stood a few feet back, tears following the green marks on her ivory face. The bluenette walked over to his fraccion and gave her a small smile. "Guess you must have been lonely. You probably got into a lot of trouble too." An ivory fist came up and gently rubbed the tears from her vivid emerald eyes, black and white lips turned up in a smile, and she nodded.

"Best Friend and I had lots of fun."

~*~

Hoped you liked this addition to my story! I gotta say, after writing all that serious stuff, It's good to just sit back and type some hilarity . . . . If you likey my story, REVIEW! My 5 Reviews Before Update policy still stands, so please review.