It was hard to keep my eyes open. After work I had walked home last night at ten to go home and bake a cake. Tomorrow was Brayden's birthday and there was no way I was not going to let the poor kid have a birthday. The cake had cooled by midnight and I frosted it. With a piping bag I wrote "Happy second Birthday, Brayden!". By the time I made it up stairs it was almost one.

My alarm sounded at five thirty. I wanted to take the kids today, but in order to that I needed to pick them up at their grandmother's house on the other side of town before she had to leave for work. Unfortunately, she had to be in work at seven.

I knocked on the door and heard tiny little footsteps running down the stairs. Talia opened the door.

"Auntie!" she screamed, leaping into my open arms, her curly hair a mess.

"Hello, there, beautiful!" I wrapped my arms around her and swung her back and forth.

She laughed as I put her down "Brayden is puke."

"What?" I asked laughing.

"Brayden is puke. He smells icky."

Just then Barbara, Brayden and Talia's grandmother, walked up holding Brayden, who looked a little flushed.

"I'm so sorry, Bethanny." she said "I hate to put this on you, but Brayden has a stomach flu. He's been up all night vomiting, but I canceled my day care for today and I have no one else to watch him."

I took Brayden in my arms and put my cheek against his face. He felt hot with fever. Great.

"That's okay," I said, managing a smile, "I understand."

Getting Brayden into his car seat was no trouble at all. He slept right through all movements. Talia on the other hand did not want to do anything I told her to do. It was a battle the entire way home.

"Talia, stay in your car seat."

"Why?"

"Because we're gonna go to Auntie's house. Don't you want to see Auntie Julia?"

"No."

"Don't you want some yummy pizza and cake?"

"Why?"

"Because it's Brayden's birthday."

"Why?"

"Because he was born on this day two years ago."

"Why?"

"Because... mommy wanted another baby."

"Why?"

"Oh, jeez, Talia! I don't know! Now, get in your car seat."

"Why?"

I sighed. This was going to be a long day. After much debating and a few lollipops I was able to get Talia to sit in her seat for the remainder of the ride. Every so often Brayden would could and start crying. My heart went out for him, it really did.

When we got home Talia jumped right out of her seat and went up to the door to ring the doorbell. It's always been her thing since she was even littler. When she was young she pressed it and was happy with the noise that she always presses it when she comes over. No matter what time of day it is or who might be sleeping. Ali opened the door with a huge surprised face on.

"Talia, my beautiful princess!" she squealed

Talia giggled that little kid laugh and threw her arms around Ali's legs.

"How are you, my darling?"

"Brayden is puke!" she said, with a big smile.

I was getting him out from his seat and Ali looked up. She took one look at him and a sympathetic smile fell on her face. The poor thing looked miserable. I got him into his portable crib as soon as I got him inside and he kept on sleeping. What a horrible day for a birthday.

"Auntie, can we have pizza now?" Talia said, pulling on my jeans.

"Yup. Why don't you go say hi to Grammy upstairs while I order it?"

Talia ran upstairs and I called in the pizza. My mother always complained to me about how she was missing their best years. She missed them and never got to see them because she was bedridden. I pulled out the balloons that I had gotten the night before and tied them to all the chairs around the dining room table. My phone buzzed.

Two Missed Texts

Hey. Heard what happened

from Estevez. Do you need me?

Give me a call if you do.

-Jon

DUDE. You need to write.

Moorrree.

-Jasmine

I laughed. Jon was too little too late and Jasmine was too much too early. See, I had decided that things were easier to comprehend when I wrote them down. Unfortunately, I was way too chicken to write anything down in an actual diary where my father could potentially find it when I'm not home. So instead I decided it would be safer to post them on the world wide web where he would never in a million years look. He's kind of computer illiterate. Besides, my mother's therapist had said it was a good idea. Of course, she didn't know about half the crap that goes on in my life.

However, the site that I had been using for my diary pretty much crashed and burned so I asked Sam if she had any websites like it. She gave me the web address to this site that seemed pretty safe. The only thing is that both of them use the site and both of them read every word I type. So, for some reason, Jasmine has become a little obsessed with my life story and texts me every now and again telling me to write more. For the most part she does so when I am at my busiest.

Jon, everything it fine.

No worries. I'll give you

a buzz later. I have the

kids, so idk when I'll be

done. Imy.

Jasmine, I am busy.

I'll update soon, ok?

Ttyl.

The screech of Brayden's painful cry tore me from my thoughts. I rushed in to the living room and picked him up from his crib. He cuddled right up into me and I held him tightly. I think he was scared because he woke up and didn't know where he was. Snot and slobber slopped down onto my chest as I shushed him back to sleep. As I laid him down I said a prayer and hoped that by God's will I would not get sick.

I changed my shirt and disinfected everything. By the time I was done the it was noon and the pizza delivery guy was standing on my doorstep. I paid and then fed Talia, Julia, and Ali. I brought a few slices up to my mother, who seemed to be happy to be seeing the little buggers. I sighed and smiled. Things were going to be okay.

Brayden's screech rang through my entire body.

Or maybe not.

I dropped Talia and Brayden off at four. My arms, legs, mouth, and everything else was exhausted. My hair was a mess and my clothes hard all kinds of fluid stains on them. Children were so tiring. Sometimes I think it's a blessing that I can't have them and other days I wish I was normal. But I new normal was never my thing.

I took my phone out and looked at the new messages.

Are you sure? I'm

only a phone call away.

Or a fifteen minute ride.

-Jon

Pleasseee? I have nothing

better to do. Write!

-Jasmine

I pulled the keyboard up on the touchscreen.

I really wish I could see

you. :( I miss you. I

need sleep though. I'll tell

you about it tomorrow.

Jas, I can't. Sorry.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I put my phone away and pulled out my ipod. Sweet sounds filled my head and I dozed off. Tomorrow was another day.

The morning is always rough, but this week was a shop week so it wasn't going to be so bad. Not to mention that it was a half day. When I walked into the lab the lights seemed harsh. When I had joined the biotechnology academy I hadn't know what was going to happen. I walked in thinking it was going to be a normal classroom environment, but I could not have been more wrong. Last year there was only three other guys , Chaz, Dylan, Peter, and me. By the time the year was over they were all like big, goofy brothers to me.

This year alone three more people had joined. A kid from the computer programming class had joined and decided that he would be happier here. He was pretty smart, which you needed to be in order to succeed in this area, but he was really annoying. Then a girl had joined, which was a pleasant change of pace considering for an entire year it had been only me and the guys. She was really nice and I liked her enough. She was smart, but really needed to try in order to catch up with all of the information she had missed. And today another boy had joined. I had seen him around and the original three boys were pretty close friends with him, but he was a complete idiot. He was only in the academy on a trial basis and I didn't think he was going to last a week, let alone another two years.

I guess I should probably give an overview about how the program works. For those of you who go to a technical high school it might be a little more familiar to you. Well, I'll start off with what biotechnology is. Biotechnology is using living things to help make your life easier. Yes, I do realize it makes us sound like a bunch of parasites, but we're really not. So far this is what I have learned in biotechnology: How to properly use all lab equipment and tools, how to make medicines like insulin and aspirin using bacteria, how to clone organisms, how to find out blood types, how to grow cancer cells, how a pregnancy test works, how to make simple vaccines, how to genetically modify organisms, etc. The list goes on and on. Coming out of the program I can make up to 70,000 dollars a year. After going to a four year college, like most kids who graduate the program, for bioengineering I'll be starting off at 110,000 dollars.

To be completely honest, I hate biotechnology. I adore the people and I love certain aspects of science, but biology is just so boring. The only reason I am even going to school for it is so that I can easily take care of my family, especially my mother. The science I'm really interested in is astronomy, but unfortunately there aren't many jobs open and the ones that are don't pay well. So I sit here and I endure the people who think that they know everything about chemistry and everything about life while I dream about the stars and what's beyond them.

I'm typically pretty quiet during the day. I work on whatever work the instructor gives me while all the guys converse and laugh. I chime in from time to time, but I know my main focus is on learning as much as I possibly can so that later on I can get a head up on the job market. In this business, the more you know, the better your chances of success are. So I sit, and I listen, and I watch, and no one even realized how much I hear, see, and know.

Lately we've been working on learning more and more about the heart. We had to memorize the blood flow patterns all the cavities and what every single piece of it does and how it does it. The reason? Well, later that week we were going to dissect some goat hearts. For those of you who are weak to your stomach, don't worry. I am too. I don't like looking at steak, let alone a heart. But I just have to keep telling myself that it's in the name of science. It's in the name of science.

The bell had rung and we were dismissed around noon. Everyone was rowdy and happy because of the early dismissal and I just hopped on the bus, like any other day. Matt sat down next to me and I passed him one of my ear buds. Matt and I had one of those silent relationships. One day we had talked and found out we were into the same music. The next day he started sitting next to me on the bus. The day after that we found each other laughing at jokes. The next we were listening to music. Now he was a lot like the little brother I never had.

I pulled out my phone.

Hey. I know you've been

really busy lately and I

know you're in school, but

I told my mother about you

and she wants you to come

over for Christmas dinner.

Think it's possible?

-Jon

I sighed. Yes, it was doable, but does he not realize I am sixteen? I'm pretty sure the second I walk through the door his mother is going to know that something is up. Oh well, if he wants to out us to his family he can. Luckily, I'm Jewish. Going out on Christmas is like going out any other day to my family. I knew they wouldn't have an issue with it.

Shouldn't be a problem.

I'll have to check with

the pops though. I'll have

to say I'm going out with

Kathy, but you do know

that they're going to see I'm

sixteen, right?

He was working and I knew he wouldn't answer me so I didn't even bother checking. I just sat back and listened to my music and wondered how my first celebration of Christmas was going to go.