DISCLAIMER: The characters do not belong to me…they are all the creations of the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Edward, Emmett and Jasper head to Vegas for four days and three nights of gambling and fun.
Ahoy, Matey!
EMMETT:
Pirates! We're going to see some pirates! Did I mention pirates? If only Rose would let me get away with pretending to be a pirate … she could have a lovely time as my wench. I could show her my skills as a swashbuckler. I chuckled to myself. She would have just smacked me if she had been here. But sadly, Rose doesn't like pirates. I think the puffy shirts and eye-patches turn her off.
I had a great plan to kidnap Bella. I was going to pretend I was a pirate and swing in through a window as if I was swinging across the galley on a sail line. Bella was too worried about Esme's reaction to a broken window to let me go through with the plan. I tried to tell her Esme would be forgiving, but Bella just shook her head and laughed. I sure hope Rosie doesn't find out about that plot.
None of that matters right now anyway because we are on our way to see Pirates! Supposedly, there is a real pirate ship in the bay in front of this hotel and everything! I wonder if I can get them to let me on the ship. 'It'll have to be after the performance,' I thought, rolling my eyes. Stupid brothers made it a rule that I can't join in the show. Wonder if the ship has cannons …
"Emmett!" Edward called through his laughter. What was he laughing about? What did I miss?
"What?" I replied.
"Stop!" Edward laughed. "You're killing me! I've been calling your name for five minutes! You just keep staring at the wall and thinking about pirates!"
"He's awfully excited," Jasper smirked. "Maybe we should just stay in for the night. Actually getting there might be too much for his little vampire heart!"
"Ha, Ha!" I sneered. "We are going!" Oh! Oh, that's just perfect! I'll show my brothers! They forgot a little rule.
Edward spun around and his eyes were huge as he registered my thoughts. "Emmett, no!"
"Sorry, you forget to make it a rule," I sighed, blowing on my nails and wiping them across my shirt.
"What is it?" Jasper asked. "Edward, why are you panicked? What's going on?"
"Jasper, calm yourself, please," I said, rolling my eyes. "Stiff here just heard something he didn't like too much."
"Emmett plans to speak in pirate talk from the moment we step foot out of that door," Edward said, pointing at the door with a look of pure horror on his face.
"Emmett!" Jasper squeaked. "Don't do it man! Think about your brothers!"
"Oh, I am absolutely thinking about my brothers!" I informed them with a wicked grin.
"Was it the go-kart thing?" Jasper asked. He was really in a panic now. "We can apologize for that! We can make it up to you some how! Please don't do it, Emmett!"
"It's cruel and unusual punishment, even for a vampire," Edward added.
I just chuckled at my brothers. I was not giving in on this. They would just have to deal with it. I strode over to the door and opened it wide, giving them my best grin. They both sighed and hung their heads as they moved out into the hall.
As we waited for the elevator, I decided to start having my fun. "Arrr, the ele'ator is slow. Aye, me parrot concurs!"
"What parrot?" Jasper screeched.
"Just shut up, Jasper! I'm getting into the part," I said. We stepped off the elevator and a little old man was getting on. I spun around and said to him, "Aye, e'enin' sir Aye."
"Emmett, leave the poor humans alone," Edward sighed. "You'll scare them."
"Isn't it enough that he's scarring us?" Jasper grumbled.
"Where be your sense o' adventure, ye landlubbers?" I asked.
"It's going to be a long night," Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as we left the hotel.
I snickered to myself. I was just getting warmed up! "Listen up, ye lily-livered sprogs! We be settin' out in search o' fun. Stop ye grumblin' or I'll send you down to Davey Jones' Locker!"
"A very long night," Jasper muttered.
I decided it was time to torture my brothers with their own minds. I walked a little ahead of them and remained quiet as we headed toward the show.
"What's he thinking?" Jasper asked Edward.
"He's singing 'Pirate's life for me' in his head," Edward answered him.
"He's too quiet! I don't like it," Jasper said.
"We can't do anything about it now," Edward sighed.
"He's plotting something," Jasper hissed. "I know it."
"He's still singing so if there is a master plan, he thought of it long before now," Edward told him.
"Great! Our worst nightmare … Emmett with a well thought-out plot!" Jasper snarled.
Idiots! Just because I'm not talking doesn't mean I can't hear them! I'm a vampire! Hello! Super sensitive hearing! Stupid brothers! I just shook my head as I continued my walk. They would pay! I looked up to see the pirate ship starting to come into view. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation of what was to come! Pirates, damn it!
"Avast mateys! We be findin' our booty right over thar!" I said loudly, making a number of humans turn and look at us. Just what I wanted! Edward and Jasper started staring at anything but me and pretending they didn't know me. I ran up behind them and put an arm on each of their shoulders. "Let's not be keepin' me waitin', boys! Thar be a show to watch!" I pulled them both into the seating area for the show, trying to move them toward the very front.
"If you want to make a fool of yourself down front, go right ahead," Edward said. "But I'm staying here." He crossed his arms over his chest as proof of his stubbornness. As if I needed proof! I shook my head at him and turned toward Jasper.
"Don't even look at me," Jasper growled. "I'm staying right here next to Edward."
"Give me one good reason why you two won't sit up front with me!" I fussed.
"You!" they both yelled.
I gave in. I would just have to make the most of standing back here. The ship was pretty impressive. I didn't know if the cannons on it worked or not, but they sure looked authentic. The spiral staircase in the middle of a pirate ship threw me, but this is Vegas after all. I looked down front to see a group of little kids with blow-up swords. I wondered where they got them from.
"No," Edward said.
"You're not supposed to be doing that," I told him.
"You're screaming it," he sighed, rubbing his temples. "You'll just pop it as soon as you get it."
"So what, now you can see the future like Alice?" I complained.
"I don't need to see the future to know that a blow-up sword in your big paw will get busted pretty quickly. And frankly, I'm not in the mood to see a grown man cry over a broken toy," Edward explained.
"I don't cry!" I hissed.
"Just watch the show, Emmett," Jasper said.
I tried to watch the show. I had wanted to watch the show. But this was not the show I had pictured in my head. I was ready for manly men fighting it out with swords up and down the galley and someone having to walk the plank! This was singing and dancing around the ship. And while I appreciated the hot girls dancing around for my entertainment, it wasn't what I wanted.
I decided to amp up my excitement, knowing Jasper wouldn't be able to resist. "Sword fight!" I whisper yelled to him.
"With what?" Jasper asked. I could tell my excitement was starting to get to him. His lips were twitching as he fought a smile.
"Our arms. Stiff here will never see it coming. Think about what his face will look like when he sees us!" I encouraged.
"We need to move down from here. We wouldn't want to take out a human," Jasper said.
"Good point," I replied. Jasper and I moved off to the right, away from the seating. Edward must have been lost in thoughts of Bella because he didn't notice us at first.
Jasper and I just ignored him as we started sword-fighting with our arms. Jasper's excitement became his own pretty quickly as we starting moving around more. Edward had finally noticed us and sauntered over to where we were.
"What are you two doing?" Edward chuckled.
"Swashbucklin', Matey!" I laughed.
"Ye scurvy-dog!" Jasper yelled at me when I smacked his arm good and hard.
"Don't encourage him!" Edward laughed.
"Mommy! Look at the big kids!" a little boy yelled. We turned to see him tugging on his mother's arm and pointing at us. We all smiled at him. For some reason, he didn't seem to like it very much. He stopped tugging on his mom and quickly turned away from us.
"Shame on you, Emmett," Edward teased. "You know better than to scare the little children. What would Esme say if she knew?"
"Tell her and I'll be keelhaulin' ya!" I chuckled as I ducked Jasper's arm.
I took a swing at Jasper, but it didn't go according to plan. We were too close to the edge and Jasper started to fall over. I tried to grab him and he grabbed me and I guess my weight did the rest because we were both in the water. We came up to see Edward doubled over with laughter at the edge. Jasper and I looked at each other and smiled. We swam over as fast as our human spectators would allow and yanked Edward in with us. Surprisingly, he came up laughing.
His smile quickly faded though. "Time to swim away, boys! The rent-a-cops are on their way to collect us for the real cops they just called."
We dove down under the water and swam to the far end of the little makeshift bay. It was a good thing we could stay underwater without needing to breath. We were way to close to getting arrested for my tastes. Edward gave us the thumbs up that no one was near and we surfaced, quickly pulling ourselves up onto dry land.
We took off running back toward our hotel, laughing all the way there. We snuck into the hotel and up to our room, wanting to avoid having to explain why we were soaking wet and laughing like idiots. After we all cleaned up and changed, we met in the main area in front of the TV.
"That was interesting," Edward commented.
"It went better than I expected," Jasper chuckled.
"I told you guys Pirates weren't boring," I said.
"No!" Edward laughed. "Pirates are boring! It's you that makes it interesting!"
"I think my little brother just gave me a compliment," I sniffed, pretending to wipe away a tear.
"Maybe he hit his head when we pulled him into the water," Jasper offered.
"I know one thing!" Edward sighed, staring down at the table in front of us. "We need to find a cell phone store that's open late. These three are ruined."
"Emmett, grab your laptop and find us a store," Jasper ordered.
"Why me?" I asked.
"It's your fault we ended up in the water," Jasper replied.
The hotel phone started to ring. The three of us looked at each other. Who would call us on that phone? Jasper went over to it, looking at it like it might bite him at any moment.
"You're indestructible for God's sake!" I yelled. "Pick the damn thing up!"
Jasper scowled at me as he answered the phone. "Hello? Alice!" Jasper laughed loudly. "Of course. Yes! No, it won't happen again. Thanks, Alice." Jasper hung up the phone and smiled at us. "I'll be right back."
He ran off into one of the bedrooms. He came back in carrying a small brown box. He sat down between Edward and me and opened the box. Three new cell phones were sitting inside.
"She can't warn us about the water," Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "But she can send new phones with us."
"Had she warned us, she wouldn't have gotten to shop for the phones," Jasper laughed.
"We'll have to do something special for her when we get home," I said, taking my new phone from Jasper. Some days, it was really good to have a psychic sister!