A Walk to Remember Chapter 7: The Changes, a merlin fanfic

Title: A Walk to Remember
Author: BlueSpottedDog
Summary: Since when has so much hung in the balance of one walk?
Spoilers: Merlin Season 1
Disclaimer: BBC owns Merlin. I wish I could have Colin and Bradley as toys though :)

This is a little longer than usual, so sorry about that. But the flashbacks went for a while...anyway enjoy!

The Changes

'You might want to sit down; this is going to be a long talk.' Arthur sat on his bed and looked warily at Merlin. Merlin shrugged and began alphabetising the papers. 'So as you know Arthur, your father has…passed away. That means we need a new king. Now…we all know that you are probably taking your father's death quite hard, so if you don't want to become king, we understand fully.'

Arthur just sat in silence. 'We have other options, or we can wait until you are ready.' Still Arthur sat in silence. Merlin looked up from the papers. 'Arthur?' He asked, watching the Prince sit there and do nothing. Arthur raised his head slightly to look at Merlin. His eyes were watering but he was smiling slightly. 'Did you hear what Gaius said Arthur?' Arthur nodded and wiped his eyes.

'I'll be king. It was going to happen sooner or later and I have been preparing myself, as has my father…' Arthur trailed off and looked at his feet again. 'So that's settled then. Arthur will be crowned the King of Camelot.' Arthur raised his head again to look at Merlin. 'Merlin…' Merlin stood silently and walked over to the bed. He bent down beside his master. 'Yes Arthur?'

Arthur lifted a hand to place it on Merlin's cheek. He bent down and kissed him. Merlin was taken by surprise, but enjoyed the quick kiss. 'Merlin…I…I have something to ask you.' Merlin placed his hand on top of Arthur's. 'What?' He asked, mildly aware that Morgana and Gaius were watching them. 'I need to get away for a few days…can you be king while I'm gone?'

Merlin's mouth dropped open and Morgana gasped slightly. 'K-king? Me? But…you're the Prince, not me and…I don't know how to be king…' Arthur pulled Merlin up to sit next to him. 'That's where I come in. I'm going to teach you. And it will only be for a few days…just while I get myself in order.' Merlin looked at Morgana and Gaius who were just gaping at him. 'Why don't I go with you instead and Morgana can be Queen for a few days?'

Arthur shook his head. 'No, I would get distracted with you around. I need to go on my own.' Merlin laughed slightly. He then turned to Gaius for approval. 'Gaius?' Gaius sighed. 'It's the Prince's wishes. I cannot stop him.' Merlin turned back to Arthur. Arthur noticed the look on his face. 'Merlin…' Merlin shook his head and the look was gone. Arthur shut his eyes quickly and he saw the look again. The hurt look, like Arthur had just pushed Merlin away.

'I'll come back Merlin. I'll only be gone for two, maybe three days. I won't leave you Merlin.' Merlin was still unconvinced. 'What if you meet someone while you're gone?' Morgana and Gaius took this as their cue to leave. 'Merlin, I won't leave you. Not for anyone. Except if I'm enchanted by someone like Sophia, but that's because I had no choice. I promise I won't leave you.' Merlin looked deep in Arthur's eyes and all he could see was the love he held only for Merlin.

'When will you be leaving?' Arthur paused for a moment. 'Probably tomorrow. But I have to teach you how to be king first.'

'Arthur, what does this have to do with being king?' Merlin asked, tugging at the ridiculous hat on his head. 'All kings have a crown. Yours is a hat!' Merlin rolled his eyes and watched Arthur walk towards the door. 'Now you need to learn how to walk!' Merlin felt like this day was never going to end. Arthur began strutting towards the window, right past Merlin.

'That's how a king walks.' Merlin raised an eyebrow. 'Like a prat?' Arthur spun and glared at Merlin. Merlin just smiled in return. 'So, you're telling me that I have to strut like you? You do realise that it makes you look like an idiot!' Arthur mumbled something and walked over to Merlin. 'Please, just do it for me.' Arthur touched Merlin's cheek for a second before pulling away and walking over to the fire.

Merlin watched Arthur by the fire. He was hiding something. 'Arthur, what's up? You're not planning on commit suicide or something are you?' Arthur just stared into the fire. 'No Merlin. It's just…my father and you…both on the same day…it was the worst day of my life. The two men I loved the most. And I had to pick. And now that my father's gone…' 'You wish you had picked him instead?' Arthur spun quickly and rushed over to Merlin stopping in front of him before Merlin could even blink.

'Don't ever think that Merlin. I never want to lose you. I wouldn't be able to live without you.' Arthur looked like he was about to cry again so Merlin kissed him quickly on the lips. 'I wouldn't be able to live without you either.' Arthur smiled, both with his lips and his eyes. Merlin pulled the hat off his head and gave it to Arthur. 'I'll go without the hat. What else do I need to learn?'

After about four or five hours of preparing, Merlin was ready to be "king". Arthur was pleased with himself. 'You even look like a king!' Arthur announced, turning Merlin to the mirror. Merlin looked at himself. He did look like a king. He was wearing one of Arthur's tunics with his usual pants. He also had Arthur's crown on his head. 'Arthur…' He said, noticing Arthur's face in the mirror.

'I think we're done for the day.' Arthur said quickly, grabbing the crown from Merlin's head and rushing over to the bed. 'Arthur what's-' 'We should get to bed now.' Arthur said, cutting off Merlin. 'Yours or mine?' Merlin asked with a grin. Arthur smiled slightly back. 'Mine.' Merlin nodded and took of Arthur's tunic. 'Are you sure you want me to be king, I'm sure Morgana wouldn't mind being Queen for a while…'

Arthur shook his head. 'You'll be fine. Just make sure that nobody bad gets in and that everyone stays safe.' Merlin sighed and nodded. He got into Arthur's bed and Arthur slid in next to him. Merlin noticed that Arthur wasn't his usual touchy feely self. Merlin rolled over to face him. 'Arthur, what is it?' Arthur touched Merlin's waist with his hand. 'I-I don't want to open myself up.' 'What?' Arthur slowly wrapped his arm around Merlin's waist.

'I don't want to love someone and risk losing them. Like with my father. And you…I just…I don't want to be hurt badly because the person I love dies. So I just…I think that if I don't get close to anyone, then it won't hurt as much. When you told me my father died…I felt a piece of me die. I felt my heart rip in two. And…if you died…I don't think I'd be able to go on…'

Merlin went silent. Arthur was scared? Scared of getting hurt? This was not the same Arthur he had known a few days before. The one who wanted him to pull their sleeping bags together. The one who got really jealous when he rode on Lancelot's horse. The one who…who had fallen in love with his man-servant.

'Merlin…I'm sorry…' Merlin shushed him. 'Arthur, I see your point. When you were on your deathbed, I risked my life for you. If you had died and left me here…I…I would've had my heart ripped from my chest. Watching you struggling to breathe…it hurt me like mad. Every time you groaned or thrashed around in your nightmares, it made me cry. Love hurts. But you can't run away from it forever. It will just follow you until you accept it.'

Arthur tightened his grip around Merlin's waist. 'Merlin I…I didn't know. You should've said something.' 'There was nothing you could have done. I had to work through it by myself. Just before you woke up…I had managed to stop my heart breaking every time I saw you. It just…it hurts like hell.' Arthur touched Merlin's cheek with his free hand. 'I know Merlin. Every time I look at you, I feel the little bits left of my heart, breaking.'

Merlin just lay there, looking deeply into his Prince's eyes. There was a mixture of emotions in them. There was love, but also hurt. There was also sorrow. Arthur was, in turn, staring into Merlin's eyes. There was love all through them. But also a hint of sorrow. 'Merlin…I think…we should maybe sleep now. I have to leave early tomorrow morning, and a King has to be up and ready before the rest of the castle.'

Merlin nodded in return and leant over and flicked off the light. He rolled over to face the darkness. 'Merlin, you know I love you right?' Merlin shut his eyes tightly to stop them watering. 'Yes Arthur. And I love you too.' Arthur smiled slightly and shut his eyes also. He pulled Merlin close and hugged him tightly. They both fell asleep almost straight away.

Merlin opened his eyes as the sunlight streamed through Arthur's window. He rolled over so he wouldn't be blinded by the bright spring sun. That was when he realised Arthur wasn't there. 'Arthur?' He asked, sitting up quickly. There was no sign of him, but his clothes had been moved off the floor and his sword was gone. There was also a note on the fireplace.

Merlin got up and picked it up.

Dear Merlin,

I'm so sorry, but I have to leave without saying goodbye.

It's too hard for me to leave you, but I have to.

Morgana will be waiting for you in the King's chambers.

She will help you get ready for the day.

See you in a few days.

Love,

Arthur.

Merlin scrunched up the note and threw it across the room. He picked his shirt up off of the floor, slid it on and headed out the door.

'There you are Merlin!' Morgana was holding the king's jacket. Merlin shut the door behind him and Morgana rushed over. She pulled off his shirt and threw a light blue tunic at him. 'Put this on. Goodness sake Merlin! Don't you own anything decent?' Merlin smiled slightly. Arthur had said the same thing about a week ago.

Merlin was putting Arthur's chest plate on and Arthur was looking at his shirt in disapproval. 'Merlin.' Merlin looked up at the Prince. 'Yes sire?' 'What is this?' Arthur asking, fingering Merlin's shirt. 'That would be my shirt.' 'Shirt? This is a shirt?! God Merlin! Don't you own anything decent?' Merlin shook his head.

Morgana did up the last button on the jacket as Merlin looked at himself in the mirror. 'Morgana, do you think Arthur really loves me?' Morgana stopped fixing Merlin's collar. She pulled away from him and wandered over to the bed. Merlin watched her strangely 'Morgana?' 'Come sit Merlin.' She patted the spot next to her on the bed and Merlin walked over. He sat down. 'I don't know Merlin.' 'What do you mean you don't know? He tells you everything!'

'No Merlin. He tells you everything.' Merlin shook his head. 'There was something seriously wrong with him last night and I don't think he told me everything. He said he was scared of getting close to someone, but I think he's scared of getting close to me only.' Morgana shook her head furiously. 'No Merlin. I really think he loves you. I remember that day last month when you were his sword fighting practice partner. That day Arthur was so bubbly.'

Merlin shook his head furiously. 'No Arthur. I'm not sword fighting with you again! Remember last time? I passed out!' Arthur smiled and placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder. 'I promise I won't knock you out.' Merlin sighed and picked up Arthur's armour. 'Fine! Let's get it over with!'

Merlin stumbled back as Arthur grinned and gripped his sword tighter. 'Merlin, you have to try harder than that.' Merlin glared at Arthur as he picked up his sword. 'Arthur, we've been at it for hours. Please, can we call it a day?' Arthur paused for a second. 'Once more. Then we go back.' Merlin sighed with happiness as he faced Arthur. Arthur started forwards and Merlin held the sword up to defend himself.

Merlin had a chance to swing but before he could, the Prince tripped. He fell forwards, his sword already on the ground. He hit Merlin on the way down and they both landed on the ground. Arthur had landed on top of Merlin. 'Arthur!' Arthur smiled sheepishly. 'Get off of me!' Merlin pleaded, his legs starting to hurt. 'No, I think I might just sit here for a while.' Arthur was now sitting on Merlin's stomach. Merlin groaned and started fidgeting under Arthur's weight. 'Get off!' Arthur shook his head and crossed his arms. 'How do I make you get off of me?' Arthur smirked. 'Kiss me.'

'WHAT?' Arthur grinned down at Merlin who was still fidgeting. 'Seriously?' Arthur nodded and leant down closer to Merlin. 'Or I could just sit here all day.' Merlin groaned and stopped fidgeting. 'Fine. If you promise to get off of me.' Arthur nodded holding out his hand. Merlin shook it and Arthur leant even closer to Merlin, their faces inches apart. Merlin filled in the gap and Arthur sighed with happiness.

Merlin, even though his head was telling him it was wrong, was enjoying it. Arthur deepened the kiss and Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck. It was at this moment that Merlin fell in love with Arthur. Arthur pulled away and, as promised, he got off of Merlin. 'We have to get back now. Pick up my stuff.' Merlin shook his head. Arthur was still the same.

'I remember it too. It was the day that I fell in love with Arthur. Did he…tell you that we kissed?' Morgana nodded. 'He told me the next day. He said he thought that you thought he was nuts. I would too, if someone asked me to kiss them, especially someone who was my master. He also said that he had wanted to do that for ages.' Merlin smiled faintly. 'Now come on Merlin. You are the King. Time to do some king-like duties!' Merlin grinned and took Morgana's hand.

She pulled him out the door and they ran down to the main dining room. Merlin strode in, almost exactly like Arthur but stopped when everyone began glaring at him. 'Merlin Emrys?' Merlin looked up at the head of the table and nodded. 'You are under arrest. For the use of magic.'

That's not good...hmmm...well, we will see what happens won't we?! Please review :D