A knock sounded at the door.
"I'm busy." Perry shouted. He went back to organizing seashells he had found on the beach.
So far he had eight clamshells, six scallops, an oyster shell, and ten other random shells. He wasn't sure what animals had once owned them, but they were pretty colors.
Perry arranged a circle out of the clamshells and placed the oyster shell in the middle. He still wasn't sure what he'd do with the shells. Make a collar?
The knock sounded again, startling him. "I thought you were gone."
"I must ask something." Came a slightly familiar voice.
Perry stood up and opened the door. A wolf wearing a fedora trimmed with a tie-dyed fabric and a dreamcatcher collar was standing outside. She smelled strongly of herbal tea.
"…Davine." Perry said, after a moment of hesitation.
"Doris." The wolf said.
"Right. You took my fortune once. At that carnival thingy."
Doris nodded. "You do not have a date for the O.W.C.A dance. You were born in the summer under the correct zodiac sign for this week. Would you consider going with me?"
"Um… I don't get what you just said, but if you're asking me to the O.W.C.A dance, I wasn't planning on going. My shrink says I have to stay away from people for a while, and I don't like parties."
Doris's gaze fell to the ground. "No matter. Sorry to have bothered you from your shells."
"Listen… don't be upset. I guess I could go for like, a couple of songs." Perry said. "It's tomorrow, right?"
Doris nodded. "Thank you. Go back to your water and shells. They're good for your mind."
She headed down the stairs.
"Just… one thing, Doris. How did you know I was here?"
Doris blinked at him. "You had the aura of anger and frustration when you were last at the agency. Platypuses thrive on both land and water, not just one or the other. With that in mind, and the way your stars are arranged, I assumed you'd come to a beach to soothe yourself."
"…Ah." Perry said.
"And I asked Lowe." She added.
Perry used his bill to dig around in the sand.
He was very happy, swimming in the ocean. The saltwater felt good against his tail and feet. His water-tight fur was doing its job. He wouldn't have to worry too much about drying himself.
Perry uncovered a shrimp lying in the sand.
"Hello." Said the shrimp.
Perry gave a muffled purr in greeting. "What are you doing?"
"My friends Sylvia Shrimp and Sukie Shrimp are playing Funeral with me." The shrimp said. "They pretend I'm dead and pretend bury me and then we have a pretend funeral. But you dug me up, so now I am a pretend zombie."
"Are you okay when you're buried?"
"Yes. The sand is ventilated with water air."
"Okay then." Perry swam on, nearly colliding with a giggling stingray who was swimming away from another stringray.
"SERENA!" The chasing stingray yelled, its call echoing through the water. "YOU HAVE TO COME EAT DINNER!"
Perry saw a deep, pitch-black cavern sitting a few meters away from him, deep in the sand. He took care to swim around it.
"Please!"
Perry turned around. A very nervous-looking seahorse was floating next to his face.
Perry was surprised at how tiny it was. He had never actually seen a seahorse before, but he'd always imagined them to be about the size of Phineas.
Instead, the seahorse was about as big as his hind foot.
"My mommydaddy is the only family I have left." The seahorse said.
"Your what?"
"My mommydaddy. Mommydaddy is in trouble." The seahorse said. "Mommydaddy needs help or mommydaddy will die."
"Shall Master bring Mommydaddy a sock?" Perry asked. He wished the seahorse would start making sense.
The seahorse pointed with its tail into the dark chasm. Perry could see a shark circling the rim, and very deep in the bottom, he saw a tiny speck.
"Is that your… parent?" Perry asked.
"Parent." The young seahorse said, trying out the new word. "My parent went down because there was a pretty thing and then the shark appeared and now my parent can't get out and it's dangerous in the chasm."
Perry surveyed the scene. He was constantly forced to evade laser sharks at the agency, because Monogram kept forgetting to turn them off, but they weren't any real danger unless they happened to burn a hole through you. Wild sharks were something else entirely. If they weren't injured or hungry, you had a pretty good chance of getting past them, but… circling wasn't a good sign.
"Parent." The seahorse said sadly.
"All right." Perry said. "I'm gonna try and go get him. If I fail, find someone to help."
"You or me?" The seahorse said.
Perry swam down into the chasm. The shark continued to circle.
The pressure began to hurt his ears. Perry ignored his body's persistent warnings and continued to plunge downward.
He was close enough now that the shark could sense his presence. It didn't look up, but it made a small noise that clearly meant "Who are you and why are you here".
Perry stared at the shark. He could memorize the pattern of the circle and slip by, but that was pretty risky, and Perry didn't believe he could swim fast enough in the high pressure to get through before the shark came around again. Going in through the middle of the circle was suicide, the shark could simply turn earlier and bite.
Perry tested his swimming speed. It was significantly lower than before, with the water pushing against him instead of swimming with him.
He would have to risk it.
The tiny seahorse was looking up at him curiously, probably wondering why a creature would be so stupid as to go down a dark chasm with a shark in it.
Perry kept his eyes on the seahorse. He forced himself to go down toward it, despite his body's desperate protests. Any deeper and the pressure would make him crazy.
Perry felt the shark's tail brush past him. Adrenaline helped him rush forward. He closed his hands around the seahorse, leaving space for the creature to poke its head out between his fingers.
"I must return to my daughterson." The seahorse said.
"I know." Perry said.
He turned and swam slowly upward, hovering for a moment a few feet under the shark. He had nothing to focus on here, and he had no idea how he managed to get past the shark the first time.
"Oh, I know!" The seahorse said loudly. "It's orangutan sneakers, isn't it?"
"Yes." The shark said. He swam up to the top of the chasm and vanished.
Perry looked at the seahorse. "Wh… what?"
"The password." Said the seahorse. "Stanley James the shark is my very best friend. Every day we play jailer and we go into this chasm and Stanley James pretends he is a jailer and I am a prisoner, and I have to guess the password. If I can't guess it I just say 'Stanley James, I can't guess the password' and then he says 'Okay' and then we go to explore the ocean together with my daughterson, Gregory Anne."
What was with the ocean animals playing such weird games?
"So you were never in any real danger?" Perry asked.
"Oh, no. Some people think Stanley James is mean because he is a shark, but he is a very nice shark. He has tea parties with Christopher Andy the Clownfish and they drink sea-water tea and then have seaweed sandwiches together."
"But your daughters- Gregory Anne said you would die."
"While I play jailer with Stanley James, Gregory Anne plays damsel in distress with anyone she can find. And today it was you. Thank you for playing with my daughterson."
"Mommydaddy, you have been saved!" Gregory Anne said happily.
"Gregory Ann, my dearest of daughtersons." The seahorse said, floating over to its child. "Did you thank this beaverduck for playing with you today?"
"Thank you, Beaverduck." Said Gregory Anne. "Would you like to explore the ocean with me and my parent?"
"I have to hover for a bit." Perry said. "You know, because I had to go down a deep chasm."
"Is Stanley James going to explore the ocean with us?" Gregory Anne asked.
"No, he is having sea-water tea with Christopher Andy." The seahorse said.
The two seahorses floated away.
"There's an hour I'll never get back." Perry muttered. He swam toward an area of rocks and continued exploring.
Perry climbed out of the sea and began to roll around in the sand. The sand stuck to his damp fur.
He felt happy and refreshed, with no muscle pain after the Stanley James incident, which was a relief. He wondered why he didn't come to the beach more often.
Perry sat up and gazed at the sunset. He hadn't realized he'd been out so long.
He had a brief moment of panic before remembering that it didn't matter.
He was on vacation.
Perry gave a satisfied sigh and curled up in the sand, watching the waves crash against the shoreline.
"Look, Ferb. I found platypuses in your Book of Mammals." Phineas set down a large book on the floor. "It has lots of platypus facts. I wonder if Perry knows them all."
"Well, seeing as he is a platypus…" Ferb began.
"But I'm a human, and I don't even know everything about humans." Phineas said. "Like, what is that back part of your knee called?"
Ferb thought for a moment. "A knee armpit."
Phineas laughed. "Oh, come on, Ferb. They wouldn't call it a knee armpit."
"A kneepit." Ferb said.
Phineas began to read the book. "Platypuses are egg-laying mammals called monotremes. They only live in Australia… hey, that's not true. There are at least seventy platypuses in Danville."
"Danville is indeed a unique place." Ferb said.
Phineas kept reading. "Platypuses are semi-aquatic mammals, so they swim to hunt for their food. They use electrosensors in their bills to find food. The males have venomous spurs on their back feet. The females only have venom spurs when they are babies. Baby platypuses have a full set of teeth, but their teeth fall out when they reach adulthood. …I wonder why Perry has all his teeth."
"Late bloomer." Ferb said.
"Female platypuses sweat milk to feed their young. Platypuses mate by…"
"I don't think Perry would want us to read that part." Ferb said.
"I miss Perry." Phineas said. "Do you think he's okay? He seemed so upset."
"Maybe he's having his mid-life crisis." Ferb said. "We should build him a sports car so he doesn't have to go out and buy one."
"I know what we should do." Phineas said. "We should do something to thank Perry for who he is. We should throw a party for him."
"A party?" Ferb asked.
"Yeah. For when he comes home from the beach. We'll put up balloons and streamers and bake him your famous chocolate cake."
"And build him a sports car." Ferb said.
"Perry is NOT having a mid-life crisis, Ferb." Phineas said.
"And we can have music and cake and a big card that says 'Thank You Perry'." Ferb said. "And make his favorite cookies."
"And we can let him have breakfast in bed under his favorite blanket."
"And build a sports car."
Phineas raised an eyebrow. "Ferb, do you want to build a sports car today?"
Ferb nodded.
"Well, why didn't you just say so? Let's draw up the blueprints."