Darkness bleeding in, the sun is getting low
No diamonds in the trees, only leaves of gold
And our long days in the heat haze starts to fade

The lilac haired boy, donned in black like a shinigami, exits the grey building and enters the still night. The dirt-paved street below him does not leave an imprint of his footsteps and the shuffle of his haori is nonexistent.

His eyes are creased into the familiar lines of a smile but the street is empty. Not a single soul in sight. He is smiling and his steps never falter but the scars on his neck and wrist tell another story.

Tsuki was waiting behind the door as I opened it. Her lean figure nearly jumps out at me as she grasps my shoulders and searches my face with a hard look.

Her eyes fall on the thin, red line on my neck.

"You...you are back." She states obviously. Her eyes dart back to mine, emotions I cannot pinpoint swirling through those depths.

Tsuki is a woman who is pragmatic and no-nonsense as a person can be. Saying something as obvious as that to me, despite her steady tone and unwavering face, I could tell she was worried sick about my absence.

"I'm back." I answer, if only to give her the relief of hearing my voice.

My smile trembles a bit as the weariness of bloodbending and being tortured catches up to me. Tsuki notices this and carries me, princess-style and all, up to my room. I didn't object because I didn't want to turn away her kindness and honestly speaking, I was about to collapse any second now.

After putting me into my bed and tucking me in, she kneels by my bedside and fixes a stern gaze at me.

"Torture and Interrogation sent me a carrier hawk and told me about your situation. I am upset that you did not tell me your plans for the night but," Tsuki's expression softens as much as a stone can soften. "But I am more upset that you had gotten caught. Nonetheless, I am genuinely impressed that you managed to divert any real punishment for leaving the village."

My eyes look at her for a bit and I give one, last smile before saying, "I'm glad I'm not being locked up or executed either, Kaa-san. Goodnight."

I turn my head towards the beige ceiling and close my eyes, not falling asleep immediately because of the sudden pain that crept alongside my body. I could sense Tsuki stay in the room for a few more minutes, doing who-knows-what. After that she left with no audible click of the door, instead my own senses feeling her chakra signature leave.

I slept until an hour before noon. My own internal clock regulating my cycle and jolting me awake.

A prickly itchiness that bordered along pain and irritation was the first thing that I noticed as I awoke. Particularly around my throat and wrists. Pulling my hands up to my face, I examined the faint lines that now decorated my skin.

Pushing away my sheets and scrambling to my vanity, I stretched my neck and lo-and-behold, there was the same kind of swollen, ruddy, pink line across my neck. I traced the line with my index finger, gently feeling the slight ridge that was forming from the uneven skin.

It wasn't ugly, but it sure as hell wasn't that nice to look at. Now my skin is marred, like a broken doll. Sometimes those dolls are thrown away because of their compromised looks, but other times they could be worth more than the original due to the grotesque, new kind of beauty they held.

The corners of my lips tilt up a little. I'm determined to be the latter. These marks are proof that I survived this encounter with adversity. And you damn well know I'll survive the next one. And the next one after that.

I dug around the drawers of my vanity until I got out three silk ribbons, two were a lilac color similar to my hair and the last one a solid black. Fastening them on, I tied the lilac ones on my wrist (which was kind of hard doing it on yourself! Shadow clone jutsu!) and the noir colored one around my neck. I even made sure to make the cute ribbon with each knot, if only to accentuate my new look.

Looking into the mirror, I smiled.

The Hokage Tower is busy today, I thought as a chuunin rushes past me, his face blocked by the stack of papers he was carrying.

I went up to the receptionist and opened my mouth to speak but the middle-aged woman just points a fingers up some stairs to the left of me, not once looking up from the clipboard in front of her. My mouth closes and I realize that the Hokage should be expecting me. It's not everyday a kid, barely just genin, ends up being tortured by T&I.

The Hokage's office was guarded by two jounin- as well as the other five ANBU whose subdued chakra was tucked away in the corners of the room inside- and as they looked down at me with an assessing glance, I decided to speak before getting guided around like a dog again.

"I'm Kuroda Hiroki. Morino-san said that I was to speak with the Hokage around this time?" I added a small tilt to my head as I asked innocently. Although I was snickering on the inside after seeing the guards' eyes widened at hearing Ibiki's name.

The two gave a curt nod and opened the door, letting a small whoosh of wind escape and push my bangs back a little.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, sat behind his paper-filled desk, waiting for me. I felt the ANBU chakra tense a little, as if expecting me to lash out or something. Instead I just skipped into the room and took a seat across the old man.

"Hokage-sama." I said while bowing politely. I figured it best to keep a smile as well.

"Kuroda Hiroki. You must know what you're here for, yes?"

Hiruzen's face held no visible malice in it, just tired if the slight strain around his brow was anything to go by. His voice however, was as cold and unfeeling as steel.

I decided to drop my act too if he didn't want to pretend to be the kind, old man he always presented himself to be whenever he came to speak in the Academy. I won't pretend to be the airheaded, innocent boy everyone thinks I am either for the moment.

The smile on my face slipped into a apathetic line as I responded, "About my punishment for something that I was only accused of."

"Leaving the village walls is punishable by law in itself." He said firmly, his eyes boring into me with the same stare only veterans could pull off. "Not only that, you snuck into the Uchiha compound as well as masking your chakra. That is at least a B-rank technique."

My head tilts to the side for a moment as I take in all his words. Guess they're gonna get me for all the little nitpicky things as well, huh?

"You got me there." I say at last. No use denying it at this point when I've already been through the torture and interrogation already.

The old man before me just lets go of a sigh and looks down at his desk before speaking again, "Kuroda-kun, normal procedure has it that you be incarcerated for at least a year with a three year probation period after. However, since you are a special circumstance, there are other options that I will offer to you."

Seriously!? They're shitting me if they think leaving the village was worth a year in jail! The Uchiha Compound is nearly devoid of all valuables anyways, what's there to steal if you actually break in and enter? Don't even get me started on the whole 'masking your chakra' thing, if that is a B-ranked technique I wonder why nearly all chuunin and even some OTHER genin- not to name any names- could pull it off? Some shitty B-rank if you asked me.

The Sandaime looks back up at me and I suddenly feel another chakra signature appear behind the door. One that I was desperately trying to avoid until I could eliminate them when I was stronger.

"Danzo, come in." Hiruzen calls out, the doors opening for the bandaged man as he hobbles over next to Hiruzen.

The man who just entered seemed weak and fragile, as if ready to topple over from the smallest push. I know better though than to even begin to think the man before me as anything but deadly. Neither of them were what they seemed at first glance and if it wasn't for my ability to pick up the tremendous amounts of chakra, one vile and the other sturdy, then I wouldn't have been able to confirm their lethalness.

"Shimura Danzo is my close associate who recommended that instead of letting your obvious talents go to waste, we use it as efficiently as possible."

My eyes flicked between the two geezers. Please, please, please don't tell me what I think is happening is what is going to be happening.

Bandage-face looks down at me with a shrewd look, "Kuroda Hiroki, despite only having slightly above average scores in the academy, it seems you've been hiding your true genius all along. I will ask for your reasons at a later time but for now you will hear my arrangements for you. You will begin ANBU training starting tomorrow after sunset. Your instructor will meet with you in front of this tower. From this moment on, you will be a genin of Konoha as well as an ANBU operative."

My eyes only widen a fraction as I force myself to wrap my head around everything he just said. Me? In ANBU? Not to mention, since it's Danzo we're talking to here, his messy ROOT faction is probably going to enlist me. And they found out that I was faking my incompetency all along. That was probably the hardest thing for me to swallow.

I could only force myself to nod my head so that he'd continue.

"No one will know you are in ANBU except for those in this room right now. Should this slip out, there will be harsher punishments awaiting you besides incarceration."

As if I needed the threat to know that I'd be put on a kill-list the second I even mention ANBU to anyone outside.

The old man passes the hypothetical speaking baton over to the other old man as he begins to speak as well, "I understand this is a lot to take in Kuroda-kun but I assure you this is the best that I can offer you. Do you understand?"

I stare at Hiruzen's aged, wrinkled eyes for a few beats before a smile slips onto my face.
"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Before I knew it, I had bowed and left the tower. The air outside of Konoha was much needed as I was instantly bubbling with rage.

On the inside obviously because there were still at least two ANBU who followed me out to make sure I didn't go and immediately blab about my 'promotion'.

Gods, and isn't that just fucking great?

Instead of being in the safety of a jail cell for a year I get to be in ANBU aka 'risk your life on suicide missions and erase your entire personality while you're at it'.

Fuck that.

I wanted to rage at Danzo for so obviously trying to recruit me into his ROOT faction, Hiruzen for being stupid enough to listen to Danzo, Ibiki for making me go to see Hiruzen in the first place, and while I'm at it I'll be pissed off at everyone in this whole entire goddamned village for one reason or another. Even Teuchi for that one time four months ago when he gave me miso ramen instead of shrimp.

All my self control went into stopping myself from strangling the next person that walked past me at the moment. I took a few, deep breaths through my nose to calm myself down and not give the ANBU watching me a reason to incapacitate me.

Biding my time was the only real option I had. If I acted out now, with the way I am, it'd be all too easy for Danzo to call on Sai or whoever to just slit my throat as I turn the corner. Then I'd never get the chance to live my life the way I wanted to, full of power and excess.

This really, fucking sucks. As if it was hard enough to tiptoe around people and make them believe my lies, I thought ruefully as I got home and promptly crashed back into my bed.

I slept until nine the next morning. Thankfully the night went by with no dreams of any kind.

"Is this truly the right choice for someone as young as Kuroda?" The man in robes asks his close friend, associate, and advisor. It had taken firm convincing to get Hiruzen to accept the idea that Kuroda Hiroki is far more suited to enter ANBU as consolation than it is to let the boy's talents stagnate in prison.

Especially if said child was able to manipulate teachers, peers, and family into thinking he was just a mere genin.

The sheer fact that the boy could conceal his chakra and slip out from the village's walls, without alerting the wall guards on duty or the ANBU that routinely sweep through the outskirts of the village, is a testament to the potential inside the child. Danzo had been intrigued about Kuroda's near prodigious abilities- and if he showed more promise the upcoming day he would be labelled with the same likeness as Hatake or Uchiha- and delved into the boy's academic history.

What surprised him is that Kuroda was only ever slightly higher than average in the Academy: weak in weapon's classes but only behind Uchiha Sasuke in taijutsu spars; isn't number one in the class for any subject but usually in the top five. No real notable awards or points of interest about the boy made by his teachers other than that he's had a problem focusing in class in his early years. All in all, a discrete, run-of-the-mill student.

It was all of this, the mediocrity yet the brilliance to bypass village security, that led to Danzo wanting the boy to join his ranks.

"Do you think letting him rot away in a prison cell would have done him better, Hiruzen?" The bandaged man answers.

The Sandaime Hokage keeps silent, holding back the words that he wanted to say because the deed had long since been done.

Letting the boy rot away in ANBU is hardly any better.

Team 11 carried on practice the next day as if the boy, their teammate, hadn't come sporting new ribbons and darkened bags beneath his eyes. Their sensei, though nonchalant yet tough, only spared a brief assessing glance to the boy before asking where he'd been the other day.

"Training with my Kaa-san got a little too rough, sorry." He laughs out, oblivious to the way the ribbon around his neck bobs up and down as he laughs. Oblivious to the worried glances the two other genin are giving him.

"Next time you should have someone tell me that you'll be absent." The brunette says, then turning to his own brunette student, "Tennyuu-kun here was worried sick about you anyways. Sensei, where is Hiroki-kun? Do you think he's okay? What if he's hurt?"

The tokubetsu jounin mimics his student with a higher pitched voice, his hands clasping together as he wiggles to-and-fro cutely. Mairu giggles at the sight of her usually stoic sensei trying to lighten the mood.

"You bastard! I didn't say it like that, neng!" Tennyuu hisses out, his fists curling together and readying to hit the still cutesy-acting sensei.

"What was that, Tennyuu-kun? So you did say all those words after all?" Genma goads on.

"N-no! I mean, I was just asking! Not as if I actually cared what pretty-boy was up to yesterday!"

Said pretty boy jumps in, "You think I'm pretty?"

"Arrgghh!"

Mairu follows after the boy who's stomping away from his sensei and teammate and for a short while, everyone pretends that everything is alright.

They haven't asked about the ribbons but I can tell they're dying to, I think as I walk towards the Hokage Tower.

Idly, I play with the ribbon on my left wrist while trying to tamp down the feeling that they seemed genuinely concerned about me. If they knew about my bloodbending and my time in that sterilized room they'd just think I was a monster.

A monster who lied straight to their faces about not having a kekkei genkai. A monster who forced a man's body to flip itself inside out, the gore that came pouring out those first, few seconds forever burned in my memory.

They wouldn't care if they knew the real me. This was the only thing I could tell myself to distance myself away from my team. If anyone truly knew me then they'd hang me in the village square as they celebrate the death of someone who would wreak havoc to their lives in the future.

My eyes clenched shut for a fierce moment before opening again. I was at the Hokage Tower and the sun was dipping low behind me.

Just as I wished to get rid of these feelings of self-doubt, two hands cover my face: one over my eyes and the other over my mouth, its grip impossibly strong. A faint breeze is the only thing that tells me we had teleported away to another location by shunshin.

The hands slowly lift away and I take in a large, cave-like room with only small lights lining the ground to illuminate. I sense a handful of chakra signatures nearby, outside the room, and I assume I was taken inside an ANBU base. Biting back a comment about the only countermeasure they had about me finding this place again was by covering my eyes, I turned to look at my supposed mentor.

"Nice to meet you, I am Kabuto Yakushi. I am your ANBU mentor and will be teaching you the ropes around here."

The small glint off his glasses, the tied silver hair, the collared shirt. Despite knowing exactly who this young man was and what he was capable of, I couldn't feel the small, blooming feeling of idolization.

Kabuto Yakushi single-handedly played everyone for a fool. Konoha, Danzo, Orochimaru, he was someone who survived to the end despite originally being portrayed as some side-character who would die in some confrontation with Naruto and friends. I admittedly don't really know much about the later parts of Shippuden, with the Fourth Shinobi War and the Infinite Tsukiyomi, but I had researched what became of Kabuto because he was the only character that I could relate to.

Disappointingly, however, it turns out that Kabuto was "cleansed" of his sins and becomes some kind of social worker at an orphanage.

I expected more from him obviously, and seeing as how I have such a large opportunity in front of me, I hoped I'd be able to preserve his incredible strength. Perhaps even encourage him to do more!

I couldn't help the genuine smile that curved onto my lips as I greeted him back, "Kuroda Hiroki, but call me Hiroki, please. And it's a pleasure to meet you, Kabuto-sensei."

A grin reflects back at me but it is fake and rotten and a little unstable. It is the only warning before a bone-breaking punch comes aiming at my face. Fortunately enough, I was quick enough to move past him and thus begin our spar/training/test.

Obviously Kabuto wanted to see if I was even worth the effort of tutoring, if I should just be sent back and serve my time instead. Spurred on by delusions of grandeur and idolization, I was determined not to waste this chance and prove myself to him. Prove that I'm worth something.

(A faint echo in the back of my mind reminds me that I am worthless no matter what I do, what I accomplish.)

I come within an inch of being able to land a devastating blow on his right leg, hoping to jab my fingers hard enough to pinch his femoral artery. Now listen, the only way I know about this was only because of my own personal experiences with drugs and needles, which is to say was bad experimentation and foresight on my part. A sudden need to scratch my neck causes me to miss and I jump back to dodge a blow to the temple.

I unholster nearly three dozen kunai tucked away in my haori and leg pouches before spraying them out, though the silver haired nin dodges them easily in one fluid motion. Eager to prove myself, I pull my fingers backwards and the nearly invisible chakra strings attached to the kunai are pulled taught.

The battlefield was now lined with my chakra strings, with me in the center as the string radiated outwards to a kunai. Kabuto caught onto my trap soon enough, as expected, and so he lands elegantly between the spaces of the chakra wire.

It's a good thing I had the element of surprise here because just as Kabuto is readying himself with his chakra scalpels, I surge electricity through the chakra strings. Especially through the ones nearest to him, cackles and sputters of lightning fly out and immediately overcome the silver haired nin's body. If all goes to plan he will effectively be rendered paralyzed, if not unconscious, and then I can spend my sweet ol' time going through his body.

Perhaps he wouldn't mind if I stole a lock of his hair either, my mind supplies as I appraise said nin's convulsing form.

Any second now and I get all the hands-on-time I want. I smile victoriously, albeit a tad too cocky because the briefest flicker of chakra comes up behind me and a solid weight falls on my neck.

Darkness envelops me once more but this time it is filled with a throbbing pain.

The next time I open my eyes I am once again greeted by the glasses wearing shinobi. Kabuto is smiling and his hands are on me and I might have been blushing a bit. Must be from hormones as usual, I couldn't wait until puberty passes, my God.

"Did I pass?" I ask as I push myself up, dusting my knees and pant legs. I send a quizzical look over Kabuto and also wonder when he had healed me.

"Pass what? What makes you think this was a test?" He tilts his head innocently. I barely suppress a moronic giggle from escaping my lips.

I throw a careless shrug, "You wouldn't accept me into ANBU just like that, right? That's stupid. And dangerous. If I didn't meet your standards then I would just be a liability, that's why I'm asking."

"You're very observant, Hiroki-kun." Okay this time I let out a small laugh, just this once because he said my name for the first time and it wasn't even a giggle. "For your information, yes. You did 'pass'. Congratulations."

This time, the smile that was directed at me held the smallest bit of sincerity in them. Honestly speaking? That's really all I need for these feelings to fester inside me.

I smile back, brightly and more honest than even I was expecting.

Let it be known that Yakushi Kabuto was a young man who was filled with grotesque truths, decaying morals, and an everlasting loneliness. Ever since she died, nothing was the same.

As if a gate had come crashing down, Kabuto had closed himself off to others for good.

So why then was this young boy, barely a ninja let alone a soldier, giving him these looks of such utter devotion? Adoration? Obsession?

Wanting to test Kuroda Hiroki- and seeing if he could beat those looks off the boy's face- the two engaged in a brutal spar. Each hit, kick, and throw from both were aimed at vital spots or at least meant to hurt a great deal. Ruthlessness. Check.

Kabuto discreetly created a shadow clone as the lilac haired child- as if the boy's gentle smile wasn't off putting enough- dug through for his weapons. The older male watched from the ceiling as the chakra strings, well hidden and sneaky, were attached to each kunai as they were flung out. He watched as his clone purposefully stood among the chakra strings and as a current of electricity surged through each wire, a smirk surprisingly fell on his lips. He quickly wipes it off with the thought, cleverness. Check.

Executing a quick shunshin, Kabuto appears behind the boy and novels at how Kuroda's eyes widened almost imperceptibly, proving that he had at least sensed Kabuto despite not being able to fend him off. Alert senses. Check.

For a ninja, especially in ROOT ANBU, candidates are selected not solely based on physical prowess or bloodline ability- though they do play a considerable role- but mainly based on these three attributes: ruthlessness, cleverness, and alert senses.

Ruthlessness guarantees that all missions will be completed, for if ANBU was known for anything it was the low moral standing of which most missions stood on. There should be no hesitation when it comes to an order.

Cleverness will sometimes prove to be more useful than outright strength. "For when an unbeatable opponent crosses you, you must only need to move out their way" as the saying goes around here. Chosen candidates will know that you only need to accomplish what is needed when faced against a difficult opponent. There is no need to actually kill the enemy, just incapacitate them at most.

High enough senses to tell when there is danger about you is crucial. You are essentially dead the moment you drop your guard because that is when an enemy will strike. It's just the truth of the matter.

Objectively speaking, Kuroda Hiroki is well poised to become quite the ANBU shinobi; a force to be reckoned with.

"Congratulations." He says and he actually means it, if the smile that leaks some sincerity proves it.

Kabuto bristles as the boy suddenly rushes forward. An assassination attempt? Now? Well, it would certainly be a good opportunity, not even Kabuto had expected it.

Except it hadn't been.

Thin arms wrap around the young man's body and he feels the warmth of the boy as Kuroda embraces him.

"What are you doing?" He sighs. Kabuto had literally knocked the boy out with a jab of the hand not more than an hour ago and now the child seems to have found some affection towards him?

Kuroda Hiroki isn't perfect at first glance it seems. Emotions are no good around here, after all.

If you haven't assumed from that opening "scene", the empty streets are a symbol of Hiroki's empty smiles, his empty soul essentially. I actually try to put in symbols and themes into this story, despite originally saying that I was just writing this to blow off steam!

Tsuki is a firm believer in tough love. She's cold and hard and definitely mean but she shows her affections in different ways, I mean what do you expect from a ninja village anyways? Even if it is Konoha.

Hiroki is going to be ANBU! Not just any ANBU either but the ROOT kind. Hiroki is essentially going to be fucked for the next few chapters(?) but oh well sucks to suck. Danzo is a conniving old man who obviously has some deeper, darker plans ahead involving our favorite hero/villain.

Speaking of Hiroki, I chanced to write his more "personal" side, the one that contains his doubts, inner-voice, and feelings other than the need to take and destroy. Hope you all liked reading it since I may or may not decide to write him like this for a while in the future. His feelings towards Kabuto definitely border on the obsessive side of things and taking in Kabuto's penchant for deception and coercion, it's a very unhealthy relationship guaranteed.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter anyways, it sure had a lot of plot turning/twisting things already haha

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