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Chapter 007

Starve Your Inclination to Judge

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Monday, May 31, 2010; around 8:30 a.m.

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The sound of heartbeats, two quick ones and one slower one, wake me as they sneak into my room. I'm sure they're up to no good and since I'm buck naked under the covers I crack my eyes open to see if I can figure out what they plan to do. As much as I would love Elena to get the full view I really do think of Caroline and Bonnie as though they're my younger sisters so when my vision focuses on them in the dim light I say, "Whatever you three are planning know that I'm naked under this blanket."

I chuckle and open my eyes fully as their faces drop and Bonnie and Caroline simultaneously make 'eew' faces just as Elena gets a thoughtful look on her face that I can't quite place. Her shoulders slump and she gives a heavy sigh as I warned them, almost as if she's disappointed that she doesn't get a free show. Still all three climb up onto the bed careful not to pull the covers off me. "So what's up ladies, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this fine morning?"

Bonnie smiles and says, "Well since we went to bed before you guys and therefore fell asleep earlier we all woke up before the drunks and we're bored." Elena and Care giggle and nod.

I fluff my pillow and lean back against my headboard as I ask, "So you were going to take your boredom out on little ole me while I was blissfully unaware of the danger I was in?"

They all three nod deeply then Care leans over and kisses my cheek, "Forgive us?"

"Hmm," I pause as if I'm really thinking about it and then smile and tell them, "Well since I woke before you could do any real damage I suppose I'll let it slide this one time. But be forewarned I usually sleep in the buff, in fact I can't remember the last time in my looong life that I wore clothes to bed, so you might want to stick to jumping on Jer and Ric's beds. Although, then again, no guarantee that Ric doesn't sleep just as nude as I do." I laugh hard as they all make overstated 'eew' faces again.

I nod and tell them, "Guess you'll need to pick on Jeremy then."

They giggle and Bonnie says, "We'll do our worst."

At the same time Care and Elena say, "Will do." Goddess I've missed having a family, a real family.

We sit there for a minute before Care asks, "I wonder what kind of print Jer has on his boxers?"

Everyone turns to look at Bonnie who blushes and says, "Don't look at me. I wouldn't know."

I laugh as Care asks, "You sure about that?"

Bonnie nods deeply and says, "I'm absolutely positive I have no idea what Jer's underwear looks like. Every time we sleep in a bed together other than maybe a little kissing that and sleeping are all we do. And the few times he hasn't been wearing street clothes he had sleep pants on."

I'm still laughing but not at Bonnie's answer as I'm sure she's being completely honest, but Elena has been keeping her hands over her ears for most of the conversation. Could she possibly be any cuter?

Finally, fate saves Bonnie and Elena from any more mortal embarrassment when Bonnie's and then Elena's stomachs make their hunger known by growling loudly. I laugh again and tell them amidst giggles from Care, "Okay ladies, let me shower and put some clothes on and I'll go make you all some breakfast lest we be attacked by those hungry beasts I just heard growling." Fortunately, they think that's hysterical and quickly depart my room to go change out of their bedclothes.

Five minutes later, I'm walking down the stairs, thank you very much Vamp speed, with my shirt over my shoulder and my hair slightly damp. I put the shirt on but don't button it. Just as I go to enter the kitchen and get to work on making pancakes the doorbell rings so I head over to open it for Tyler whose shampoo and wet dog scent I could probably smell from pretty much anywhere in the house as he stands at the door.

As I open the door I smile at him and tell him, "Good morning Ty, for the record you don't have to knock or ring the bell, just come on in, lord knows everyone else in this family does and honestly I don't really mind. Now, if Liz started coming in without knocking, it'd be another story, but you guys are welcome anytime, that's why I don't lock the door."

He nods and says, "Okay, thanks."

I smile and lead him towards the kitchen as I tell him, "Everyone's still waking up so come keep me company while I cook. How are you here so early anyhow?"

He nods and follows me into the kitchen and tells me, "Before she went to sleep Care texted me and promised to call me when her and the girls woke up so I'd be able to get here before you all leave."

I smile as I begin taking things out of the fridge and start cooking, surprisingly Ty offers to watch and flip the bacon and sausage. I keep an eye on him but am happily surprised to see that he seems to have better kitchen skills than the rest of our family so he cooks the meat perfectly.

We just shoot the shit talking about random things, mostly the shit his mom is making him do for her this summer until everyone finally joins us. As I start handing out full plates, they all kind of stop and look at me with this weird expression on their faces. "What? Did I get your preferences wrong?"

They look at each other for a minute and then at their plates before Bonnie says, "My own father forgets how I take my coffee, despite the fact I've been drinking it since I was 12, and that I can't stand blueberries in my pancakes and prefer sausage to bacon. Yet…' she pauses to take a sip of the coffee I just handed her then nods and continues, "you, whom I've barely known a year and rarely drink coffee or eat breakfast around, made my coffee perfectly and gave me chocolate chips instead of the blueberries that everyone else seems to have and sausage not bacon despite the others having both. And I think I spy strawberries in with Care and Ty's blueberries, and chocolate chips in with Jer and Elena's blueberries, which I know for a fact are their favorite ways to eat pancakes."

I honestly don't know what to say, so I just sort of nod. She steps around the counter with her plate and cup still in her hands and leans up to kiss me on the cheek, "Thank you, Brother."

I smile and tell her, "You're welcome, Sister."

She smiles and goes back to her seat before chowing down and making noises that clearly let me know I didn't fuck up the pancakes.

Caroline, Tyler, Jeremy and Elena all smile and say "Thank you," too as Ric, who like me didn't get even four hours of sleep, comes into the kitchen with his eyes barely open.

I hand him his cup of coffee, a plate of plain pancakes, and the saucer of cherry sauce and he takes a big sip of his coffee before opening his eyes wide and saying, "Have I ever actually told you how I take my coffee, because I don't remember mentioning it and yet every time you make it it's perfect."

I blush a little at all the compliments I seem to be getting this morning. They're all looking at me expectantly so I ask, "What? I pay attention, that's all. It's totally a predator thing."

They all look at me as though they know just how full of shit I am, but they let it pass for which I am grateful.

I quickly set about making some pancakes for myself then as we all eat I ask, "So who all is coming to the cave with Bonnie and me?"

All the teens say "Me," so as Elena watches me I begin to finally button my shirt, and I turn to Ric and raise my brow.

He raises his brow back at me and after swallowing his bite of cherry sauce dipped pancake says, "Bonnie assures me that Klaus has left my apartment so I need to go check things out. I'm planning, if it's not wrecked, to meet with my landlord about ending my lease tomorrow since it's a new month, so I can move in with Elena and Jeremy as they asked me to the other day. So I've got a bunch of stuff to do later today like packing up the stuff I've unpacked. Though honestly I still have a ton of unopened boxes so mostly it's clothes and weapons I need to pack. Anyhow, if you think I can be back to town by six so I can meet with my landlord at seven thirty after I've cleaned up whatever mess Klaus left behind and packed my shit then I'm happy to help."

I nod and tell him, "If you don't mind I'll come with you to your apartment just to make sure he really left, and if you want I'll help you carry the boxes to your SUV and then into the Gilbert house since tomorrow's the first so you're cutting it kind of short."

Ric nods and says, "Thank you, Brother."

I smile and nod back before saying, "Anyways, I don't think our trip to the cave will take too long since it's not even ten yet, which by the way why are all the Humans up so damn early when none of us got to bed before four thirty?"

They all shrug so I shrug back.

Elena asks as she takes her last bite of pancake, "So you mentioned Briseis yesterday morning and last night, she's your wife, right? And you mentioned her breaking her spell, so Care and I were talking this morning, and Care thinks that means everyone in your family that you told us about last night has the spell on them. So where are they now?"

I look at Care with a question written all over my face. She smiles and says, "Not just a pretty face, Brother, I actually have a working brain. All those looks and sentences trailing off mid-way led me to believe that there are others who have been spelled and that you aren't telling anyone other than Bonnie and Jeremy who they are. I also know that the only reason you even told them is because they now have all of your memories."

She frowns and tells me, "I have no clue who the rest of your family is but some of them must be nearby because otherwise you and Jeremy wouldn't have had to write down whatever you didn't want said out loud last night. I figure you wrote it down because you knew I could hear you. I can't figure out who they are though and it's driving me nuts."

I laugh and realize that Tianna's spell is keeping Care and Elena in the dark about who they really are, so I tell her, "I never thought your brain was anything other than a highly efficient machine that puts most others' brains to shame. So yes, there are others but I can't tell you anything else like who they are or even where they are. I wish I could as I hate keeping secrets from all of you but it's too dangerous to the other half of my family to let anyone know right now."

They all nod and seem to take me at my word, so as everyone else continues eating Bonnie asks, "So I know Tianna was your descendant and my ancestor but you were friends right?"

I nod after I take a bite, chew, then swallow before telling her, "Best friends really. Despite my actually being her ancestor she was like my sister and I think she truly saw me as her brother."

Ty takes a sip of his coffee then asks, "And she still spelled you?"

I frown and tell them, "She said that our nature and how we came to be Vampires required that she spell all of us."

Jer frowns and says, "That sucks, are you pissed now that you have your memories and powers back?"

I smile and shake my head no then tell them all, "The short answer is no. I'm not angry, not even a little. The long answer is that she was right that the others needed to learn the true meanings of love, loyalty, and honor. Briseis and I were basically collateral damage, and since in the long run, I think I still learned how to love better and be more loyal and honorable than I was I can't bring myself to be angry. All Tianna ever wanted for all of us but especially Briseis and me was whatever was the best for us. I truly believe in the long run all six of us, including myself, will have learned important lessons and ultimately come out the other side better people than we were when we were spelled."

I pause to take another bite and after I chew and swallow I continue, "I've been friends with pretty much all of my descendants, your ancestors Bonnie, from my daughter to her great granddaughter Fontina, right up until Tianna spelled us, and then Emily and a few others while I was spelled. Other than Tianna and probably Emily and you, Bonnie, the others wouldn't have had the guts to spell us as Tianna did. All of your ancestors after we transitioned knew my family was out of control, and while I know they did their best to help me minimize the damage wherever we went it wasn't enough to prevent major loss of life pretty much everywhere we went.

I pause and try to figure out the best way to explain just how extraordinary what she did was. When I think I know how I tell them, "However Tianna took one look at the mess we were and she set about writing that spell, which I'm pretty sure took her well over a decade, maybe almost two decades, to perfect before she decided it was ready to be tried out on us."

I smile slightly and tell them, "You have to understand she was beyond brave because if she had messed up and it hadn't of worked I probably wouldn't have been able to protect her from all of the others all at the same time. Balthazaar and Lilith would have completely ignored that she was also of their line and she likely would have met a very messy and very painful death. Then if you take into consideration that she and I pretty much viewed each other as siblings, and she willingly gave up spending the rest of her life with me to try to help better my family, well, she was beyond brave and selfless."

Everyone seems to understand so I continue, "She essentially sacrificed her happiness to save the rest of my family. If that's not what love is about then I don't know what is, but the furthest thing I am is angry with her. I'm awed by her courage and faith, blessed for having had her love, proud of her for being brave and doing something when no one else could or would, and about another thousand other equally positive emotions, but anger hasn't found its way onto that list."

I take another bite then smile again as I tell them, "I know she did what she felt was best for me, my family, and the rest of the world. You need to understand she didn't just save my family she saved everyone who lived in this area at that time, whole families survived because she spelled us since the other members of my family were at the time trying to drown their guilt over previous evil acts with more innocent blood. I think they were essentially trying to force their switches back off by being so evil the switches would have no choice but to turn themselves off. That or they were trying to prove to themselves that they really didn't care."

I pause for a second then tell them, "Either way, she pretty much saved everyone by spelling us and sacrificing her happiness and even her safety. The younger Pervonachalnyue attacked her and her children and theirs many times after we were spelled figuring her protector was now Human and weak. Fortunately, she was one of the strongest Witches I've ever met, easily in the top three so she pretty much did what you did to me and fried their brains every time they came at her until they finally realized she didn't need my protection. But her family likely lived in fear for centuries at least until after her great grandchildren died. During those two or so centuries those with the most power in the family had to be everywhere the younger and less powerful were to make sure they stayed safe until the younger Pervonachalnyue gave up trying to end her and her line.

I frown then tell them grimly, "And honestly I'm pretty sure the 316 dead Witches, whose power you now, have died because the younger Pervonachalnyue compelled the Humans in this area to hunt the Witches and murder them all as a sort of payback for not having been able to end Tianna and her descendants on their own. She risked the future of her familial line for me and my family, she put her bloodline's survival in danger to ensure we would be worthy of the gift of immortality that Lilith stole for us."

My frown leaves my face and I smile genuinely, "Anyway, anger doesn't even get an honorable mention as it is the exact opposite of everything I feel towards her. She was my best friend, the closest thing I had had to a sister in several hundred thousand years and she risked everything for me. I'd be a real asshole if I didn't accept and acknowledge the sacrifice and courage it took to do all of that. I would never repay her kindness and sacrifice by directing anger towards her."

I stop talking and begin eating my now cold breakfast as everyone just sort of sits in stunned silence. Bonnie is the first to break out of the awe enough to say, "Wow, she sounds pretty badass and I kind of wish I could have met her."

I smile after taking my last bite and place my fork on the table as I tell her, "You and her would have been thick as thieves. You actually remind me of her, a lot, and except for your larger tendency to judge first and ask questions later you're just like her. And before you get mad at me for saying that, she was actually pretty judgmental in her younger years too and she, like you will, grew out of it and became more understanding and more judicious with her anger and scorn."

I stop and consider if I should say this but then decide it will probably be more helpful than harmful so I tell her, "One thing to remember Bonnie is words and emotions have power. What kind of power do you want fueling everything you do, happy, loving, loyal, honorable, and all around healthy emotions or do you want hatred, anger, fear, and judgment to flavor everything you do?"

I lean forward in my seat as I play with my fork and tell her, "Tianna said her mother posed that very question to her when she was a few years younger than you are now, so I hope you do what she did with the words and really contemplate the kind of Witch and person you wish to be. You have power in spades, and you could pretty much do anything you want with it, and while I know you wouldn't intentionally do anything evil I want you to consider that the ones who hunted Witches thought they were doing the right thing as they had judged the Witches and found them quote unquote 'evil'. Their anger, fear and hatred led to the deaths of hundreds of innocent people, men, women, and children who would never harm another all because the Humans thought they had the right to pass judgment on someone else."

I sort of half frown and half smile as I tell her, "I believe in the Goddess and I don't really care what other people believe one way or the other as I know it's a personal thing and very individualized. However, I've read enough holy books from other religions to know that even they believe only God or whomever their higher power is has the right or privilege to judge anyone else."

I smile to soften the blow of my words as I tell her, "Remember that the next time you decide to jump to conclusions and pass judgment. If you change that one thing about yourself, well, in my opinion, you'll be an even better person than Tianna was. You'll definitely be a better Witch that's for sure. And as I think I've explained, it doesn't get much more loyal, honorable, or willing to sacrifice for the good of others than Tianna."

When I finish my statement that became much deeper and more serious than I had intended I notice that Bonnie has tears in her eyes. She sniffles and then asks me, "You obviously hold Tianna in very high regard, yet you honestly believe I could be even better than her both as a person in general and as a Witch?"

I smile and nod before telling her, "Without a doubt, you have it inside you. You just need to feed it and starve the inclination to try to pass judgment. God or whomever will take care of that when the other person dies, and honestly, I pretty much believe Karma will get them even before the Goddess does. I know your grams had only just begun teaching you when she died helping Stefan and me but did she have a chance to teach you 'The Law of Threes'?"

She shakes her head no so I continue, "'The Law of Threes' basically says that everything you put out into the world will come back to you three fold. So every bad thing you do will come back and bite you on the ass three times worse than whatever you did. Conversely, if you put out positive energy and do good deeds then that will come back to you times three."

I pause to take a sip of my mostly cold coffee then tell her, "Most Witches also live by the Creed, 'An harm it none, do what ye will.' And that means exactly what it sounds like. If it doesn't hurt anyone feel free to do it. If it does hurt someone, you'll get that energy back three fold. Now remember that everyone does so called bad things from time to time, that's the nature of life, so you need to weigh the pros and cons of everything you do. Is this action and its consequence worth the backlash you're going to feel."

I smile again and tell her honestly, "Anyways, I fully believe you have it inside of you to be an amazing woman and Witch just as Tianna was. Incidentally, Emily was like the two of you too though she didn't have anywhere near as much power as you and Tianna.

I get up and hand my plate and silverware to Elena who has been washing everyone's dishes for most of my conversation with Bonnie. When I turn back around, I'm surprised to find my arms full of crying Witch as she says, "Thank you. I'll do what you said and feed the good stuff and starve the bad judgmental stuff."

I hug her back and kiss the top of her head as I tell her, "You're already well on your way I just thought hearing the words as Tianna did might help you as much as it helped her. She said pretty often that that conversation with her mother pretty much changed her life for the better. I only hope my words have the same kind of effect on you, Sister."

She nods and then steps away to wipe at her eyes as everyone heads out of the kitchen to get ready to leave. We're out the door by ten thirty.