As Raven woke up Karen was standing over her, readjusting a bag of liquids hanging n a metal pole. Karen looked down and smiled to her, and for a moment all Raven could see was her old friend Bumblebee and not the woman that was breaking her friend's heart.

"You gave us a scare there girl."

"What's wrong?"

"Dehydration. Don't worry, the baby is fine."

Raven nodded and rose her upper body to a sitting position. Karen picked up another pillow and adjusted them so Raven could sit comfortably.

"You should eat something."

"Are you a doctor?"

It wasn't anger or contempt behind it. It was a simple question. Karen nodded.

"Yes. Psychiatrist. Vic's doing a great job, but I've got the supplies. Now what do you want to eat?"

"Anything is fine."

Karen nodded again and left. When she was gone Raven got to her feet and walked over to the cupboard, careful not to let the IV-needle fall out of her arm, and started to pack. She didn't want to hurt them anymore. She was done feeling bad just because she wanted to be with her friends. She was done feeling like the bad guy, even if that ment she had to be alone the last few weeks. She was done.

"Raven?"

She looked up. Richard was standing there with a bowl in his hand and a confused look on his face.

"I'm leaving. I shouldn't have come."

"Why?"

"All I wanted was to be with the people who made me happy. All I wanted was to die knowing that someone cared for me."

She was crying and held so tight to the cupboard her hands went from grey to white.

"I never regretted my decision. I never... I never asked why I had to die. I never asked to live. I was content until I came back. I..."

Richard, without the bowl, hugged her and Raven held on to him so tight she almost tore holes in his shirt.

"I don't want to die."

She had never dared to say it. Not aloud. Not even in her head. Saying it meant wanting it. Meant it was true. Richard held her tight as one hand went up to her head, to comfort. It was a protective act and it did comfort. Raven continued to cry.

"I don't want to die."

"I know."

After a while her crying calmed down and she finally let go of him.

"Thank you."

"We all love you Rae, you know that."

Raven nodded and quickly dried her eyes. Then she checked the drip, adjusted it, before sitting back down on the bed.

"I think it's a bit cold. You want me to warm it up?"

Raven shook her head as he gave he the bowl.

"If you want to smoke you can open the window."

He grinned as she started to eat the soup. Richard walked over to the window and after opening it he lit a cigarette.

"How is it? Having a baby."

"Boring. Tiresome. You know in the beginning they have to be fed every two hours. And then there's the nappies. And the noise. Sometimes I think Howard cries just to mess with me. Not to mention when they start to walk and destroy everything of value. He might seem sweet and nice when he's here, but trust me. He can be a monster at home."

But Raven knew that it was worth it, and she knew Richard felt that way too. That he told her just the bad side to make her feel better. And that she knew that. She finished the soup as she heard a larg bang from the living room. Both suddenly were alert. Richard walked out of the room with Raven close behind him. Karen was standing close to the wall next to Kori holding Howard. None of them scared, but anxious. The table was flung to the side and in it's place was Victor holding around the neck of a broken down and drunk Garfield. Victor's grip was forcing Garfield to look at him without hurting him too much.

"Gar you have to get a grip. You think you're helping the situation by acting like a kid? You think you're the only one who's suffering here?"

Raven couldn't breath. He was suffering. He was suffering because of her. And she couldn't get away. She couldn't breath. The room was too small. There wasn't any oksygen in it. She couldn't breath and he was in pain because of her.

"Get me a paper bag, and get him out of here."

Karen bent down beside her.

"You are having a panic attack Raven. There is nothing to worry about. Can you count backwards from ten for me?"

"Ten... Nine... Eight..."

"Your doing a good job."

Karen helped Raven to the couch and got her to lie down.

"Just continue counting, you are doing great."

"Seven... Six... Five... Four..."

Karen's voice was so comforting and reasuring that when she got the paper bag she was almost breathing normally. The door opened and closed and Richard entered. Raven hadn't even noticed he had left.

"Vic's taking Gar home and staying with him for a while."

"How is he?"

Raven looked at Kori while breathing slowly into the bag. Richard looked quickly at Raven before sighing.

"He just needs time."

It was just as much to her as to Kori. Raven closed her eyes and removed the bag. Then she turned to her side because the huge stomach was putting pressure on her organs and it was uncomfortable. She closed her eyes as Kori placed a blanket over her and Richard and Karen put the table the right way. Howard was standing by Raven's stomach and gently stroked it. He was thrilled when something kicked against his hand, but understood from the tension in the air that this wasn't the right time to point it out.

--

"You are sure you're fine on your own?"

"Yes, now please go to work."

"I'm sorry, but they had an emergency."

"And needed the best. Now go."

Raven decided to meditate now that she felt better. After about two hours she felt better than she had in weeks. She got to her feet and turned on the water boiler when someone rang the doorbell. Raven walked over and was surprised and scared to find Ann on the other side. Ann just pushed the door open and marched in, not noticing that Raven was pregnant. Raven managed, thanks to the two hour meditation she had just finished, to seem calm and collected though her head was racing to figure things out.

"You you're living with him?"

"I don't have a place here in the city. Can I ask what you are doing here?"

Ann turned and waved some papers in her face.

"I'm suing."

"Excuse me."

"I'm taking you to court. I'll expose you to the world you harlot. You murderer."

"If it's money you want..."

Raven made sure to hide behind the table and chairs. She didn't want Ann to know she was pregnant. Ann spat on the table.

"You think you can buy my silence? He was my brother."

"You think I don't know that? Don't you think I miss him too Ann? I love Matt."

"Don't. Don't say his name you, slut."

Raven felt she was getting annoyed. Why couldn't Ann just leave her alone? Why couldn't she die in peace.

"Ann I..."

The doorbell rang again, and Raven sighed.

"Come in."

The door opened and Garfield was looking confused at the two women. If Raven had been a god fearing person, she would have thought he or she was testing her.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Garfield Logan, Ann Tallmann. Matt's sister."

"Your Matt?"

Garfield looked quickly at her stomach and Raven shook almost undetectably on her head. She didn't want Ann to know about Boo, partly because then Ann would want to be a part of her life and her secret identity and the secret identity of the others would be in jeopardy. Partly because then Ann would never move on. Partly because Raven didn't want Ann to raise her daughter. Partly because Matt had said that no matter what happened Raven wouldn't owe Ann anything.

"I'm suing her because she killed my brother?"

"Raven kill Matt? You're joking right? Rae hasn't said anything but how wonderful Matt was since she arrived."

"Gar..."

He was bringing up that now? Raven looked at him with a pained look on her face and Ann looked from him to her. Raven finally looked at Ann.

"Go back to your husband and three children Ann. Don't you think they miss you? Please don't wast your time chasing me."

Ann was crying.

"He's my brother."

"I know. And he loved you Ann. Please go home."

She took the papers and started to walk to the door, but stopped when she had just passed Garfield. Then she turned and looked at him.

"You're Garfield Logan? The movie star? My kids are huge fans of your's."

"If I give you an autograph will you leave Rae alone?"

"Gar."

Raven was shocked, and a bit flattered that he wanted to help in his own corny, rude way. Garfield wrote on a piece of paper and Ann left.

"Thank you for not saying anything."

"I trust you."

Raven looked up at him and their eyes met. He gave her half a smile. He wasn't just talking about Ann and Boo.

"I trust you Rae, I just wish you would have trusted me."

"It had nothing to do with me not trusting you. I just didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to feel guilty for hurting you, just because you loved me."

"Hey, I'm not made out of glass."

It was ment as one of his stupid jokes. Raven retaliated.

"But your self-esteem is. It's always been a bit weird."

"Ouch. That hurt."

He was acting, and this made Raven smile. He smiled back.

"How... How much..."

It seemed impossible for him to form that question.

"Everything from two to six weeks. 90 prosent of babies are born within two weeks of the due date."