I thought this up while watching that funky Old Navy commercial. Tell me what you think.

Summary: He just didn't see what was so romantic about the Old Navy commercial. But she still wanted to know his opinion. "Uh, well, I suppose the.. dresses… were… colorful..." sasusaku AU

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or this Old Navy commercial.

"Wow…."

Sasuke looked up from his newspaper, where he was reading a very interesting article on hair follicles, to where his girlfriend sat on the sofa, facing the television. Her mouth was slightly agape, and her eyes were glazed over with that look that she got when she was thinking about something that he would get blamed for later. "What is it?" he asked, because, really, if he didn't, she would get angry.

Sakura sighed wistfully and said, "Sasuke, this commercial is so cute! Come here, I'll rewind it!"

He thought about refusing for a second, but then folded his paper and grudgingly got up and trudged over to sit beside her. She was pressing a bunch of buttons on the remote, then paused the screen and turned to face him, her expression all serious. "Are you ready to witness this, this mystical phenomenon that is what television was meant to be?" she asked him, her tone very grave, as if she was asking him what color her coffin should be.

Sasuke settled for a nod, and she, very slowly and deliberately, pressed PLAY.

It was an Old Navy commercial.

There were several mannequins on the screen, and there was a voice coming from the speakers on the television which he supposed was supposed to be the guy mannequin's voice as he asked the girl mannequin to marry him, she said yes, and he broke her finger off, then offered her his finger instead. At this part, Sakura sighed again. Then, it ended, with some spouting about town dresses or something like that.

Silence.

Pressing the STOP button, Sakura turned to him and beamed. "Wasn't that just fantastic?!" she stated.

Sasuke just sat there in stony silence, not sure whether it was a rhetorical question or not. Apparently, it was not, as her smile became strained after the first minute, then dissolved into a frown after the next three. "Sasuke, I asked you for your opinion!" She scowled at him. "Now give it to me!"

Every time she said this, he felt like giving her a swift kick in the butt. However, she was just retaliate by kicking him in the…ahem…groin area… And he really needed those to rebuild his clan with someday. So he, quite hesitantly, gave her his opinion: "I didn't get it. It was stupid," he said.

You know when you feel someone is staring at you with that murderous glare, thinking bad thoughts, like potentially decapitating you and grinding your remains in the garbage disposal? Sasuke was feeling that, only ten times worse.

Sakura's expression could only be described as horrifying. It was a cross between watching someone beat up a cute helpless puppy and seeing your brother massacre your family in front of your eyes. Sasuke had never experienced the former, but the latter he had all too much experience in, so he flinched beneath the intense glare. "What. Did. You. Say?" she queried through gritted teeth.

He felt a film of sweat begin to dew his forehead as he tried to think of something positive to say. "Uh, well, I suppose the….dresses…were….colorful…"

Sakura just stared at him with her mouth open. Her expression was far beyond surprised and bordered on scary. "The dresses were colorful?" she repeated incredulously. "We just witnessed one of the most romantic moments in history, and all you can think about is how the dresses were colorful?!"

"Um… don't you think you're being a little… dramatic?" Sasuke winced as his words caused her to let out a shocked gasp. "Er, I mean, it was… okay, I just don't get it! Why is that damn commercial so romantic?!"

She puffed up like a puffer fish and glared at him with an air of superiority. "It is romantic, Sasuke, because his love for her was so absolute that he gave up his own finger to give her just so she could wear his ring! Which he'd just used to propose to her!!!" she added, throwing an extra glare at him.

"…." He thought about this for a moment. 'There has to be a double meaning in all of this,' he told himself slowly. 'So… is she saying she wants me to cut my finger off and give it to her? 'Cause, I mean, I love her and all, but no way is that happening.'

"Sasuke!" she barked, making him jump and snap out of his mental conversation with himself. "Well? Aren't you going to comment on how romantic he was to propose like that to his girlfriend, who loves him?!"

'Hmm… I think she's trying to insinuate something,' he thought, biting his lip. 'But what?'

'Oh God, you're pathetic!' a little voice in the back of his head that wasn't quite so little yelled. 'She wants you to propose to her, moron!'

'…that makes sense.' Aloud, he said, "Sakura."

She leaned forward and gazed up at him eagerly, love shining in her eyes like a billion stars. "Yes?" she asked hopefully, her lips slightly pursed.

"…I have to go see Naruto."

Sakura's mouth opened and closed, and by the time she was ready to yell at him, he had bounced off of the couch and ran out the front door, grabbing his coat and car keys. "Damnit, Sasuke, you bastard! Get back here!!!!!!!"

Sasuke arrived at Naruto's house exactly twelve minutes later in a panic. Without bothering to knock, he shoved his way in the front door and yelled, "Naruto! I need that damn ring now!"

The blonde himself poked his head out of his kitchen, a pair of chopsticks sticking out of his mouth and a bowl of steaming ramen in his hands. "Swaskay?" he mumbled through the chopsticks, his expression surprised. "Whadyuwa?"

"I want Sakura's engagement ring!" Sasuke said, raking a hand through his hair in frustration. "Where did you put it?"

Naruto thought for a moment, then brightened. "Wupstars!" he shouted, gesturing with his chopsticks up the stairs. "Win why dwawew!"

"Okay, I'll get it!" Sasuke ran up the stairs, then ran back down and stared at his friend in horror. "Oh my God, I just understood everything you said. I'm getting used to you!"

Naruto grinned as Sasuke ran back up the stairs again.

Fifteen minutes later, Sasuke pulled up in front of his house and ran inside, not surprised to see his girlfriend still sitting on the couch, staring at the door, waiting for him to return. "There you are!" she said, rising from the couch and placing her hands on her hips. "Who the hell do you think you are, walking out on me like that? I--"

"Sakura," he interrupted her tirade, then got down on one knee before her and produced the ring he'd hidden in his pocket. "I love you, will you marry me?"

Silence. Then--

"YYYYEEEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah?"

"You do realize that the commercial is going to be played at our wedding, don't you?"

"...damn."

Oh God, I am so tired. My eyes are blurring writing this. Sorry if it's not funny or i seems rushed, I wanted it finished so I could put it up. Hope you guys like it. Review, please.