Going to school was going to be a challenge.

It was her choice, her decision. She had talked it over with her mom, Shawn, and Riley. Josh had a bit of input as well, and all of them were being so supportive if she wanted to wait until her junior year to return to school. But that simply was not an option for Maya. When the idea was first brought up that she should take some time away from school, it was intended to be for a couple of months, just until she felt she could handle herself again. It was never supposed to take this long.

It was now well into January, and everyone else had gone back to school a week ago, and while Maya liked having them all around during the winter break, she dearly missed seeing her friends all the time. And with the spring semester coming, everyone was going to be so busy after school. Lucas and Zay had baseball, and no doubt they were going to be at practice all the time. Farkle and Smackle were preparing for the State Academic Decathlon competition, and they spent all their time together studying. She saw Josh scarcely enough as it was, with him being so busy at college. Riley had even talked about joining the debate team, and Maya didn't want to be the reason her friend didn't do something.

"I've decided I'm going to go to school," she told everyone as she sat them down in the living room at the Matthews'. She tried to sound excited, to hide the anxiety and uncertainty in her voice. She'd hoped her friends would be excited too.

However, instead of the excited looks she'd been anticipating, she was met with many concerned faces.

"Is this something you're sure of, Maya?" asked Cory, careful with his words.

Riley looked excited but unsure, knowing what happened the last time Maya ran into someone she was unfamiliar with. There was the comfort of knowing that Maya would be safe at school, that she had all her friends and teachers looking out for her, but would she feel okay with all of that, or would she still feel threatened? Those were all things that made Riley uneasy. With everyone's busy schedules, there was no guarantee that Maya would be accompanied at all times, and the thought of Maya wandering the school halls alone frightened her to some extent.

Maya sighed, reading everyone's expression and immediately knowing their concern. "I wasn't supposed to be out that long anyways, and I've been handling myself a lot better lately. Dr. Kinsely even lowered my dosage on the anxiety medication."

"Still, Maya, this is really sudden," Shawn chimed in, "Are you sure you don't want to go for maybe a half-day? Just until you're completely sure you're okay? I'm sure we could work something out with the school."

Except Maya didn't want to be the girl who went to school for half a day because she was raped, it was bad enough that she was the girl who was raped. She was sure everyone at school knew about it by now. Hell, Missy even texted her and told her how sorry she was that it even happened at her party to begin with. She couldn't go the rest of her life being afraid. Sooner or later, she was going to need to shape up and face her classmates.

"I know this is what I want to do, and I know it's going to be hard," she took a deep breath, "but I want to do this, for me."

Josh took a step towards her, carefully wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "If it's what you want, I'll support you. Just don't feel like this is something you need to do, for anyone."

Maya smiled, then looked towards the rest of all her 'family'. Her friends looked hopeful, yet weary, while the adults just looked weary. Mustering up her strongest Maya face, she stood firm on her decision. "I'm going, and that's final. Dad," she looked to Shawn, "I'll allow you to take whatever protective measures you feel necessary."

Shawn looked to Cory, who gave him a solemn look, and nodded. "I'll be dropping you off and picking you up every day. I want you to be escorted to and from every class, by one of these guys," he gestured to her friends, who all nodded in agreement and understanding, "and I would prefer you eat lunch in Cory's classroom."

Maya made a face at the last one, not wanting to be the weirdo who eats lunch in a teacher's classroom, but nodded anyways.

"I'm so glad I'll have you by my side at school again!" Riley cried, latching onto her best friend's arm.

The next week, Maya took her time getting ready for school. She opted for black jeans, black Converse high-tops and a long-sleeved blue shirt with a black leather jacket over it. She looked a little shorter without her usual heeled shoes, but it was what she was more comfortable in. She wore no makeup, something else she stopped doing after that night. She found that her skin is a lot clearer now and Josh told her he liked the way she looked without it.

"Maya! I made breakfast!" her mom called from the kitchen. Maya looked at her reflection and smiled slightly in contentment before making her way down the hall.

"I'm about to leave for the bakery, but I whipped up some scrambled eggs and bacon for your first day back," Katy said, smiling encouragingly.

"Thanks, Mom. Where's Dad?" Maya noticed Shawn wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"He's in the shower. He didn't sleep well last night, so he woke up a little late. He'll be out in time to take you to school though," her mom replied, but not without letting a complicated look cross her features for a moment.

Maya knew Shawn wasn't taking this all too well. He was worried about her, as always, and now that he finally had the time to be at home, he wanted to be there for her whenever possible. She appreciated that, she really did. But what she really wanted was to get better, and she knew she couldn't do that without challenging herself.

"You call me if you want to be picked up, okay? And if anyone makes you uncomfortable, you go to Cory or call me," Shawn insisted as he dropped Maya off at the front gates. Riley was already there waiting for her, ready to escort her to their first class.

"Of course, Dad. I'll text you during lunch to give you an update, okay?" she told him, flashing him a forced smile as she slid out of the car to meet Riley.

Due to her special circumstances, the school administration engineered her schedule so that she would have every class withat least one of her friends, which she was grateful for. She had first period chemistry with Riley and Zay, second period geometry with Lucas, third period art with Riley and Smackle, fourth period P.E. with Riley, Zay, and Lucas, fifth period history with all of her friends, sixth period study hall with Farkle, and seventh period English with Lucas and Zay. It worked out pretty well actually. They all had lunch together so there wasn't a time of day where she had to be alone.

"Are you ready to go, Maya?" Riley asked as they walked through the school doors. Maya shrugged, not knowing how to respond to the looks she was getting from people in the hallway.

At this time, it was no longer news what happened to Maya at Missy's back to school party. People gossiped for months, and though Riley never spoke a word, Lucas took it upon himself to address the rumors and quiet everyone for good. For a good while after that, people minded their own business, and everyone got used to Maya not being around. School went on as normal, and people stopped talking.

But now Maya was back, and the rumors were sure to make another appearance.

"Did you hear about what happened to her back in August?"

"Duh, everyone knows about it!"

"I don't see how anyone could look so okay after that…"

The whispers came from left and right, and Maya did her best to ignore them, and ignore the fact that they knew about something so traumatic and personal to happen to her. For a while, ignoring them seemed to work. As she walked the halls of the school, she was able to stay in her own little world, making idle conversation with her best friend who was too obviously trying to distract her. It was only when someone approached her that she found herself unable to ignore them.

"Oh my god, Maya! Thank God, you're back. We've all been so worried!" It was Sarah, the nice girl with the big glasses who sometimes let Maya copy off of her math homework. Maya considered her a friend, a title she didn't give a lot of people.

"U-uhm…" she stuttered, struggling to find a reply for her. Sarah looked simultaneously relieved and worried, brows pulled together as she examined her friend.

Riley jumped into action, quick to Maya's defense. "I told you she was fine, Sarah," she began calmly, "Maya just needed some time off from school for a while."

Sarah nodded in understanding, wishing Maya a good luck in her classes before bidding them both a goodbye. Maya sighed in relief, thankful to Riley for stepping in. It was so strange, and a feeling so new crept into her chest. She'd never been so nervous when talking to someone before. Even while working the register at the bakery, she'd never so much as stuttered when talking to customers. And here she was at school, where people who have known her all her life roamed the halls, and she couldn't speak a word.

"Don't worry about them, Maya. We've all done our best here to curb the rumors, but you know how these guys are. They latch onto anything that could be potentially juicy gossip," Riley told her as they walked into their homeroom.

Mr. Matthews smiled at her as she found her seat near the center of the room, mouthing a subtle 'Welcome back' to her. He didn't make a big deal of her return to the class, fortunately, and soon enough Lucas, Zay, Farkle and Smackle were all surrounding her, purposely putting her in the middle of their group. It made her feel better, the fact that she had friends willing to go through such lengths just to make sure she felt comfortable. She felt eyes on her all throughout class, but with her friends around, no one said a word.

The rest of the morning went much of the same way, with her ignoring the whispers around her and walking and talking only to her friends. It was a little awkward in third period art, since she was no longer in advanced art with David. She had opted out of taking that class because she knew that if she saw David again, she would be reminded of that night. Instead she took regular sophomore art with Riley and Smackle, where she had friends and still got to practice what she loved. Mr. Jackson had looked at her strangely when she walked in, surprised to see her after all this time and not in his advanced class.

"So far the only people here who know the whole story are my dad and some of the administrators. My dad didn't want to tell anyone unnecessary unless you approved of it," Riley said when she asked why her teacher looked so strange.

At lunch, they all sat together in Cory's classroom, away from the chatter of the lunchroom. She was happy to see that all of her friends were excited to have her back with them at school, but at the same time she felt like she had missed out on so much. They filled her in on all of the drama she had missed, like how Casey Sanders fell from the cheerleading pyramid and broke her leg, and how seniors Jace and Addy were now expecting a baby. It was all hear-say, but nevertheless entertaining.

"So, Maya, how has everyone been treating you since you got back?" Zay asked harmlessly, taking a giant bite out of his brownie.

Maya's mouth pulled into a slight grimace. "I honestly haven't been able to talk to that many people, no one has really approached me except for Sarah."

It wasn't a secret in the school that Maya had been through something traumatic, and rumors had spread like wildfire even before school started back in September. Even though no one really knew all of the details of the event, they knew to some extent that Maya got hurt and that an older guy was involved. That fact in and of itself was enough to start rumors that spread like a wildfire.

"I'm sure things will return back to normal soon, peaches," Riley offered reassuringly, reaching over to pat the blonde's hand.

Lucas watched the exchange with careful eyes, noticing the strained look on Riley's face as she consoled her friend. As much as they all wanted to believe that there was some truth to Riley's words, things weren't really ever going to be the same at school again. It wasn't so much that people were trying to guess what happened to Maya, but it was Maya herself. She was completely different from the girl everyone knew last spring. Everyone knew Maya as a kickass, intelligent girl who protected her friends no matter the cost and stood up for herself always.

Even though it was only her first day back, Lucas predicted that the way people treated Maya was going to change. Even though she was starting to learn to deal with her anxiety and depression, she wasn't the old Maya and people were already starting to notice that. It made sense in their group, as none of them expected her to bounce back immediately. They all knew it was going to take a long time before they even got a glimpse of who the blonde used to be.

"So Maya, how was P.E.? Coach Larsson is tough I hear," Farkle asked offhandedly, trying to steer the conversation away from an uncomfortable topic.

"Lucas and I got partnered for some stupid basketball game, which is no fair! He's twice my size!" the blonde complained, stabbing a piece of chicken with her fork.

Lucas chuckled to himself, remembering how awful last period was and wondering why the hell Coach Larsson insisted they play HORSE. The pairs were picked rather randomly, and at first he was concerned that Maya might end up with someone she's not comfortable with and freaked out, but thankfully the odds were in their favor and she ended up partnered with him.

"At least you didn't get stuck with Ellie Richards from the cheerleading team," Zay rolled his eyes, diving into a story about how Ellie Richards is quite possibly one of the dumbest girls in their school.

Before anyone knew it, the school day had already ended and they were all making their way to Topanga's where they would meet up with the adults to talk about how Maya's first day back went.

While Maya walked ahead with Lucas, Zay and Smackle at her side, Riley slowed her steps a little to fall into step with someone she'd been a little worried about lately.

"Farkle," she began, pulling lightly on his jacket sleeve to get his attention. The boy seemed completely lost in thought, "Has something been on your mind lately?"

Farkle sighed, running a hand through his brown hair and pulling a frustrated face. "I guess. I just can't stop thinking about how different she is, Riles. I'm worried we won't ever get the old Maya back," he confessed.

Riley frowned, knowing exactly what he was talking about. "She needs a little more time. I know it might be a while, but she's working through this. I'm just glad she seems to be in a slightly better place now."

While Riley didn't want to believe that Maya wouldn't ever go back to the way she was, she always knew it was a possibility. She and her mom had a long talk about what depression does to people, and she understood a little better that Maya was affected in a way that was completely permanent. Her dad mentioned that Shawn had gone through a period where he was depressed and far from his usual self, and that it took all of his family and friends to pull him back together. She was prepared to do whatever it takes to make Maya happy again.

But if the blonde really couldn't revert back to her old self, then Riley would love her best friend all the same.

"I just don't want to lose her, you know?" Farkle's voice broke her out of her thoughts.

"What do you mean, lose her?"

Farkle's eyes darkened. "Don't act like you haven't noticed, Riley. She's distant, pretending. She wants so badly to be back to herself that she's barely even speaking now."

As Maya was preparing to start school again, Riley had noticed a drastic change in her personality. She was brighter, in a way, and bubblier. She reminded Riley vaguely of the way she was when she 'lost' herself and became her. It was different, but a good different compared to how depressed she'd been after that night. Riley naively thought it was a change in her medication, or that she was just excited to be starting school with her friends again, but now that Farkle mentioned it, something was definitely off.

Maya didn't talk as much as she used to, replying when spoken too but not saying much otherwise. She seemed to always have a smile too big plastered on her face. Riley tried to come up with an excuse for her best friend, but came up empty handed.

Could they really be losing her?

"Do you think she'll ever be back to how she was, Farkle?" the brunette whispered to her friend. Farkle shot her a complicated look.

"I want to believe that she will, but only time can tell. I'm just worried she pushed herself too hard too fast. Maybe she wasn't ready to go back to school," he told her.

Up ahead of the two, Maya trailed slightly behind Lucas and Zay as they traded conversation over her head. She chose to walk with Smackle, since she hadn't gotten to talk to the girl in quite a while. In a way, Smackle was really refreshing to talk to. She was honest to a fault, and didn't sugarcoat anything, something Maya appreciated in a friend. She didn't have too many classes with the girl, and their personalities clashed to a point where friendship didn't really seem plausible, but then again, she supposed it was like that with all of her friends.

"They're worried about you, you know," Smackle commented, glancing back at Riley and Farkle who were walking behind them.

"Yeah, I know. I've been trying to act normal so they wouldn't, but I think I made it worse," Maya winced, thinking back to all the speculative looks Farkle had shot her throughout the day. The more she tried to smile, the more suspicious he seemed.

She didn't want to admit how hard it was for her, going back to school. It used to be something she did without a second glance, she never thought it would be so difficult to be around other people. The whispers got to her, and the rumors. She had expected them, but she didn't expect the sting of pain that came with it. She thought she would be able to ignore them better, but no matter how much Riley assured her that it would all blow over in a couple of days, Maya couldn't just let a few of them slip by.

"Do you think she's lying?"

"I think she just wants attention."

"I heard she did it on purpose, and then lied because she didn't want David to find out."

Some were bad, some were worse, but she couldn't get over how cruel some of these rumors could be. And just who started all of this crap? The old Maya would get to the bottom of it immediately and make the culprit pay. But now… all she wanted to do was go home and hide and never go back to school again. She couldn't though, she had to prove to herself and her friends that she was strong enough to push through this. So she would go back to school tomorrow, and paste that big smile back on her face, and wear it until it became real.

What did she do to deserve this?