For the third time today, hello my lovely readers!

Wow. That's all I can say after writing this chapter. This chapter was both difficult and hard to write. Some parts came easily while others were a challenge to work out. But I have to say I'm pretty pleased with the results.

I think the hardest part was really portraying the internal struggle Natsu is going through. He really doesn't understand the emotions that he's feeling and just sitting him down and reading him definitions out of a book isn't going to help him.

I really hope that ya'll will enjoy this chapter because it's going to set off a whole bunch of events in the story and I'm really excited to write the rest of it. I have a general idea of how I want to end the story, its just creating the events that will result in the ending that I need to work out. I'm trying really hard to make this story as emotional and real as possible.

I may or may not post one more chapter tonight after I get back from the gym, so we'll see what happens.

On another note I am so happy to read all your reviews and they've really made me feel good about how I'm writing the story. I've gotten a lot of positive feedback and that's been helping to boost my confidence. I'm so excited to hear what you think of this newest chapter.

Word of warning, there is some language in beginning of this chapter.

As always reviews and suggestions are encouraged.

Much love

Sabina


Chapter 7

Natsu's POV

Burning.

Scorching heat.

Pain.

Confusion.

Natsu had never once associated heat with pain in his entire life. Heat was fire, fire was his strength. Heat was his weapon. He had complete control over it. He loved it, embraced it, trusted it. He was the master of flames, no fire could wound him.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?!"

The fire dragonslayer clawed at his belly as he stumbled into an ally. This sensation. It felt so wrong. His very being rejected it.

There was a searing heat in his belly.

His chest burned.

And it hurt.

Dear Mavis it hurt.

He collapsed on the ground and curled up into a tight ball, fingers digging into his own flesh as he tried to drown out the internal burning with external pain. Blood welled around his fingers and tears streamed from his eyes.

Why was this happening? Why had his body reacted like this?

He didn't understand.


Natsu's POV- Earlier

Natsu walked along the street with his hands behind his head, staring up at the partially cloudy sky. He was on his way to meet with Levy at the library.

He hadn't been able to look Lucy in the eye that morning. He was too confused, too conflicted about his feelings. He knew that he felt something for Lucy. The way his heart leapt when he'd seen her that morning told him that. That didn't happen with anyone else. There was something there, between the two of them. But he didn't quite understand it. Romeo and Levy said it was love. He didn't really know what love was. That was why he had agreed to meet with the solid script mage at the library, so he could learn.

Natsu didn't exactly like reading, but anything was better than this horrible feeling of uncertainty that haunted him. He had to find out why he was feeling this way. He had to understand what his heart was trying to tell him.

After he had run out of the guild he had wandered throughout the streets of Magnolia, not really going anywhere in particular. He just had to walk. Sitting still would lead to thinking. He didn't want to think before his meeting with Levy. He just wanted a few moments of peace before he opened the lid on the maelstrom of these alien emotions.

The walking was doing him a lot of good. He felt calmer, more in control. Observing all of Magnolia and all the different activities that went on throughout the city kept his mind away from what he knew he was going to have to think about later. He smiled, waved, greeted, and conversed with various citizens that he knew as he saw them. They were kind to him. Some noticed that he was not his normal boisterous self, and asked him what was wrong. Many asked if they could help. He just smiled and shook his head. He didn't want to bother these good people with his own personal drama.

The hours ticked by.

He found himself in the shopping district. He knew that Lucy was here somewhere. He hadn't meant to go anywhere near where she was today, but somehow his feet had tricked him and brought him close to her. He could pick up faint traces of her scent outside a few of the shops. He wasn't surprised to catch a whiff of it outside the bookstore and the shop where she bought her writing supplies. Nor was he surprised to smell it outside the shop where she got her food. He continued on down the streets, unconsciously following her scent. As he walked the scent began to get stronger, he was getting close to where she was now.

He sighed resignedly. He might as well check on her. He should probably apologize for being so rude earlier too. She had looked hurt when he had distanced himself from her so quickly, and he felt awful. He sniffed the air and his eyes fell on the door to the clothing store. He could just make out the bright blonde of her hair through the shop's window. A little part of him brightened just at the sight of her beautiful hair. He was reminded of how good it smelt and how soft it was. He couldn't help but smile a little as the door opened and she stepped out. He never got tired of seeing her. He quickened his pace, intending to run up to her and apologize.

He stopped. There was someone with her. He could hear her laughing as she looked back through the door of the shop at the person now following her out. She was smiling brightly, a faint rosy tint to her cheeks. Was she blushing? As he continued to watch her companion came through the door and stood next to her in the sunlight.

It was a man.

A stranger.

Natsu continued to watch as the man said something. Lucy giggled and tucked a strand of that lovely hair behind her ear. His heart clenched, that simple gesture inexplicably more beautiful and radiant than any of the other times he'd seen her do it. He had to get closer, he had to know what they were saying. His heart began to sound very loud in his ears.

Thump.

He darted forward at a remarkable speed, his dragonslayer strength helping him to move amazingly quickly. He stopped a few yards away, crouching behind a large stand full of strawberries.

Thump.

Strawberries. Lucy always smelled like strawberries and vanilla.

Thump.

"I think that I would like that," he heard her say. The man grinned widely. Something about that struck a nerve in Natsu.

Thump.

"Excellent! How about we meet at that fancy steakhouse near your guild on Friday?" said the stranger, smiling at Lucy.

Thump.

"That sounds great, I'll meet you there at eight," said Lucy.

Thump.

The stranger moved.

Thump.

He had Lucy's hand in his own.

Thump.

The stranger's lips gently brushed the back of Lucy's hand and she blushed.

Th-…

There was no thump.

Natsu's heart had stopped.

It felt like an eternity before his heart started back up again. And by then he had already dashed away and around the corner at the end of the street.

He didn't feel it until he stumbled into the ally, clutching at his chest.


Natsu's POV- Present

Natsu remained on the ground for a while. The pain had begun to fade, and he slowly started to unclench his hands. He winced a little as he felt the deep scratches he'd made in his own skin sting. His breathing had been ragged, and now it was gradually returning to normal. He stood up shakily.

What had happened? He was so confused. He needed to get to the library to talk to Levy.

He was scared.

He began to run.


Natsu was out of breath by the time he reached the library. Even in the cool winter air he was dripping with sweat. As he opened the doors to the library he sniffed, searching for Levy's scent. He found it and walked as quickly and as quietly as he could to the little alcove she had settled herself in. She looked up at him as he approached, smiling. Her smile faded when she saw his expression and the sweat dripping from his shaking limbs.

"Natsu what happened?" she said, trying to stay quiet despite the obvious fear and concern in her voice. He couldn't speak at first. He just sat down next to her and stared at his hands. They were shaking. His mind wouldn't work properly. Sensing that he was still distressed, Levy rubbed his back gently and told him to calm down, to breathe. It took a few minutes but finally Natsu was able to explain what he had seen to Levy.

She didn't speak right away. She continued to watch him as the trembling gradually faded away. Eventually she began to speak, slowly and softly in case she startled him.

"Natsu… You said you felt a burning in your stomach and chest right?" she asked, still watching him. He nodded slowly. "And it happened, when that guy kissed Lucy on the hand?" Natsu hissed but nodded again.

He couldn't see it but Levy's eyes softened as she watched him. Her hand left his back and she reached over to close the book she had been reading. She waiting till Natsu nodded for her to go on before continuing.

"It sounds like you were jealous Natsu," Levy said gently. Natsu looked up at her, his eyes glazed over and a confused expression on his face.

"Jealous?" he mumbled. He sounded so weak, so shaken.


Levy's POV

Her heart broke at the sound. Natsu never sounded like this. He wasn't supposed to sound like that. The great Salamander, the Fire Dragonslayer, the son of Igneel…. Spoke as if his whole world had ended. And she knew he didn't know why he was feeling like that.

She could see the pain and confusion on his face. He looked afraid. He wasn't used to these kinds of emotions.

She nodded slowly and gently placed her hand on his back again, trying to sooth him. He went back to staring at his hands as they trembled a little. The shaking had pretty much stopped, except for the occasional shiver that passed through his body.

"Yeah… I think that you're jealous. Jealousy is a lot like anger. It upsets us and can make us feel angry or hurt," she said softly. Natsu blinked slowly, then spoke.

"I've been jealous before… But it was nothing like this," he said, just barely above a whisper. "It hurt. It felt like something was tearing away at my insides. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to burn him. I wanted to kill him Levy." She gasped a little at that but she knew that he wasn't done. He took a deep breath then continued. "I wouldn't really let myself hurt him… But for a brief instant I wanted that guy dead. Something in me wanted to rip him limb from limb. I'm afraid of that part of me."

Levy sighed as she took her hand away from his back again and sat back in her chair, palms rubbing her face. He waited to see what she would say.

"Natsu. I'm going to give you some books to read," she began. He groaned a little but her expression told him to shut up. She was looking at him intently, as if she was studying his every move. "I'm positive that you love Lucy. What you just told me about has erased any doubt in my mind, not that there was really any to begin with. What you need to do now is learn what it means to love." Natsu opened his mouth, and she knew that he intended to say that he knew how to love, because he had loved Igneel and he loved Fairy Tail. Levy put up a hand and silenced him.

"No Natsu. You don't know what it means to love her in the way that I mean. There are two types of love. The love that you have for your friends and your family, and a love that is reserved for a single person in your life. The love that you have for that one special person in your life is very different from the other kind. It's wilder, more primal. It can make you feel things that you've never felt before. It can scare you. It can drive you to do things that you would normally never do. You need to learn about that kind of love. For your sake, and for Lucy's. She needs to know how you feel."

Natsu balked at this. Levy knew that he didn't want to tell Lucy about how he had nearly ripped someone to shreds just for kissing her hand, and how he had wanted to rush over and forbid her from meeting with that guy. He was terrified that she would be afraid of him, and Levy could understand that.

"But…" he began, but Levy silenced him again.

"No buts. I don't want to hear any excuses. Nothing you can say will change the fact that you need to tell Lucy how you feel. It's the only way to find out if she feels the same way about you," she said sternly. Natsu winced.

"Couldn't you talk to her Levy?" he asked, and she could tell that his mind was frantically searching for an alternative to confessing how he felt to Lucy. Levy's eyes darkened in anger and she smacked him hard on the arm. He stared at her with eyes wide in shock. Levy never hit people like that. She was serious.

"Absolutely not! This is something that you need to do Natsu. You love Lucy. And it needs to be you that tells her," she said. Natsu tried to think of something to say but couldn't. He hung his head, defeated.

"So what do I do?" he said, slowly. Levy smiled and patted him on the back. He looked up at her, confused at her sudden change in mood.

"The only thing you have to do on your own is tell her how you feel. And in order to do that you have to understand how you feel. You don't have to do this entirely on your own," she said kindly. "I'll help you. And I won't be the only one. You have a whole guild full of people who would be willing to help you understand your feelings for Lucy. And that is exactly what is going to happen." Natsu's puzzled expression didn't change. Levy laughed and began to gather up all the books she had picked out for Natsu, putting them in her bag. He rose as well, waiting for Levy to explain what she meant.

"Levy?"

The blue haired girl beamed up at him, a look of determination in her eyes.

"We're going to the guild. I've got a job request for Fairy Tail and we're going to need all the help that we can get," she said, pulling him by the arm towards the exit.

"Help? What are we getting people to help us with?" stammered the poor confused dragonslayer. Levy looked back at him and smiled.

"Fairy Tail is going to teach you how to understand your heart Natsu. We're going to teach you what it means to love Lucy," she said, laughing a little at the surprised expression on his face.

"You really think that I can learn to understand it?" he said as they walked out the front doors and onto the street. Levy saw the fear and doubt in his eyes. She took his hand and squeezed it.

"Natsu, you know exactly how unstoppable Fairy Tail is when we have a task to do. We don't even need to provide a reward for this job. Everyone in Fairy Tail knows that you and Lucy are meant to be together and they'd do anything to make it happen," she said, and the sincerity of her words seemed to finally break through Natsu's fears. She grinned as a tentative smile formed on his lips.

"Alright," he said, his voice getting stronger and his face beginning to fill with the some of the determination that he was known for. "I want to understand these feelings. I want to use them to make Lucy happy." He paused, a look of doubt in his eyes again, but it quickly passed and a look of determination and acceptance replaced it.

"I want to love Lucy," he stated, and the hesitation was no longer in his voice. Levy beamed at him.

"That's the Natsu we all know and love! Lets get to the guild!"

They started to run.