The night clerk at the SeaView hotel peered at them suspiciously when they checked in a t 3am.
'Two rooms, you say?' he asked, looking at Caroline, then directing his question at Stefan as though he was mad.
'Yes, two rooms' Stefan replied impatiently.
'No bags' he frowned.
'Er, no' said Stefan.
'Will you be needing a wake-up call?' he asked, blatantly looking Caroline up and down. She glared at him.
'No' Stefan said shortly. He leaned over the counter and stared into the clerk's eyes. 'No wake-up call, no breakfast and no morning paper. In fact, in the morning, you won't even remember we were here.'
The clerk stared at him.
'Ok, here are your keys' he said, compliantly.
'Thanks' Stefan took the keys and they both headed to the lift. They rode to the third floor in silence, then walked down the hall to their adjoining rooms. Stefan reached his first and opened the door.
'See you in the morning' he said pointedly to Caroline, who was stood behind him as though she was going to follow him in.
'Wait - where are you going?' she asked.
'I'm going to bed' he said, simply.
'Oh no, you're not' she said, impatiently. 'We still need to talk about Enzo. Not to mention Ivy!'
She pushed past him and strode into his room. Stefan rolled his eyes and followed her.
'Caroline, I'm tired' Stefan sighed. 'We both need to get some rest.'
'Stefan!' she cried. 'Don't you care that Enzo is out there waiting for an opportunity to kill you? Don't you care that your ex-girlfriend is out there probably killing people, or at the very least, failing to compel them properly.' She paused. 'Don't you care about anything?'
'No Caroline, I really don't' Stefan said. 'Up until tonight, I thought my brother was dead. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn't save him. I found it pretty difficult to care about anything since that happened. And I'm sorry if that hurts you, but that's the truth. Now Damon's back, I'm not just going to pretend that things can go back to the way they were before.' He paused. 'I'm not afraid of Enzo. And I really have no idea where to even begin looking for Ivy. I'm sure she'll show up soon enough. So, no, I don't care.'
'Well, I don't believe you' she said, stubbornly. 'I saw your face at the cemetery tonight. I heard your voice when you told me Damon was back. You do care. The old Stefan is in there somewhere. The guy that worries about us all. The guy that is sensitive and kind and thoughtful and…my friend'
Stefan said nothing for a moment. He returned her stare.
'Why are you even still talking to me?' Stefan asked in despair. 'Why haven't you just left me alone by now?'
'Because you're my friend' said Caroline in despair. 'Even if you are the world's biggest asshole at the moment.'
'I don't deserve your friendship, Caroline' Stefan scowled at her. 'Don't you get that?'
'What is that supposed to mean?' she asked, frowning with disapproval.
He sat down on the bed.
'I've ignored you for months.' He said, flatly. 'I didn't want any connections to my life here. I just wanted to - to put it all behind me and move on. I got so sick of the conversations about Damon. I couldn't take it any more. Couldn't take hearing the hope in your voice when I'd lost all of mine.'
He stopped and put his head in his hands.
'I was completely useless.' He murmured, his head still down. 'I couldn't get him back. My own brother. And I didn't know how to face life without him in the world.'
Caroline sat down on the bed next to him and waited.
'All these years, no matter where we were, what we did,' Stefan continued. 'I always knew he was out there. Even when we hated each other, he was always there.' He looked up at her. 'And when he was gone, I had no idea how to be any more. So, I just gave up. Figured I'd better try figure out how to live without him around.' He shook his head slowly.
Caroline said nothing.
'I gave up on him Caroline' he looked her in the eye and she could see the pain and self-loathing on his face. As much as it hurt her to see him in pain, her heart soared. This was the Stefan she knew. 'I gave up on him and he was alive the whole time. How am I going to tell him that?'
'None of that matters now' she said. 'He's back. He's safe. You guys'll be back to fighting next week.' She laughed, but it was forced and hollow.
Stefan shook his head.
'It does matter' he said, in a low voice. 'Why would you want to be friends with a guy like that.'
'I don't want to be friends with you, Stefan' Caroline heard herself say.
He looked up, confused.
'Yeah, well, I don't blame you-' he began.
'No, I mean, I don't want to be just friends with you.' Caroline couldn't believe she was saying this to him. Her voice sounded clear and steady but her mind was reeling with fear for his reaction.
Stefan frowned.
'Caroline' he began.
'No, you listen' Caroline held a hand up. 'For months now, I've been calling you, leaving you messages begging you to get in contact with me. And I told myself I was doing that mostly for Damon and Bonnie. And Elena. But then I realized how much I missed you. I missed having you around.'
Stefan stared at her.
''And when Enzo and I came to your house and I saw you with Ivy-' Caroline paused. 'I realized that I was jealous. I was jealous of her. Because you had time to speak to her, hang out with her, make dinner with her -'
She stopped.
'I realized-' she began again, hesitantly. 'That I have feelings for you'
He was still staring at her.
'Say something' Caroline said, nervously.
Stefan moved closer to her on the bed and put his arms around her. He kissed her on the top of the head and closed his eyes. The slump in his body language told Caroline everything she needed to know.
'You don't feel the same, do you?' she asked, fighting to keep her voice steady.
Stefan sighed.
'You deserve somebody better than me' he said.
Caroline exhaled.
'Don't do that' she said. 'Don't give me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. Please don't insult me like that.'
'Caroline, I'm sorry-' he began.
'No, I get it Stefan. It's fine, really' she stood up abruptly. 'You know you once said to me it was never going to happen between me and you. I should have listened shouldn't I?'
'Caroline, it really isn't you' he said, standing up and reaching for her hand. She snatched it away, but he reached for it again and this time she let him hold it. She looked down at him. He took a breath. 'The truth is-' he stopped as though he didn't want to say what he'd been about to say.
'The truth is' he began again. 'I'm still not over Elena.'
Caroline's mouth dropped open.
'What?' she asked, incredulously. 'You're still in love with Elena?'
Stefan nodded reluctantly.
'But, all this time, she's been with Damon' Caroline said. 'You've been fine with it!' She looked at his face and realized what he was saying. 'You've not been fine with it?'
'No' he shook his head.
'Oh my God, I am such an idiot' Caroline sat down heavily on the bed. She ran her hands through her hair and put her face in her hands. The enormity of what she'd just told him sank in and she felt embarrassed and horrified. Why had she paid any attention to Ivy? When would she learn to just keep her mouth shut?
'You're not the idiot' Stefan said, flatly. 'The idiot is the one still in love with the girl that broke his heart and fell in love with his brother over a year ago.'
Caroline looked up through her hands.
'Oh God Stefan' she said. 'What are you going to do?'
'Do?' he echoed. 'I'm not going to do anything. I'll get over it eventually.' He thought of Katherine, and how long it had taken to get over her and shook his head.
'Yeah well, I definitely don't recommend pouring your heart out' Caroline said, sourly. 'And if I were you, I wouldn't have this conversation with Ivy.'
Stefan sat back down next to her and put his arm around her shoulders.
'I wouldn't have this conversation with anyone except you, Caroline' Stefan said, softly.
She looked up quickly and smiled sadly at him.
'Friends?' she said.
He nodded, returning the smile.
'Friends' he agreed. 'Now can we please get some sleep?'
