Gemma didn't sleep much that night not that she ever slept much. When you have a husband who comes and goes at all hours of the night and two teenage boys sleep always seamed like the last thing on her mind. She always had something on her never-ending list and today was no different. Actually, todays was worse the day after a party was clean up day. Gemma always had the croweater and prospects to help but the mess was still ever ending. The amount of trash these men could accumulate was beyond comprehension, but it needed to be done. Gemma knew if it weren't for her it would never get done. She loved them, but they were slobs. Gemma knew she could never get it to her definition of clean, but she could get it looking decent and that's all that mattered. It never lasted long so why waste so much effort. It was something she learned long ago.

Gemma walked past many bodies past out into the kitchen and could smell the coffee. That was the only thing that could get Gemma threw the day. Gemma found the biggest coffee cup that was clean and pored the coffee into it and add sugar and creamer to her liking. She was on her second cup before she could even manage to start the project. She started picking up all the red cups and beer bottles and what ever trash she could find. A few hours later the prospects took over and as usual Tara managed to leave without any of her presents. It happened every year usual Blair would be the one to grab everything before she left because she knew her daughter had a one-track mind at times. Now it became Gemma's job to made she Tara got them not that she minded. Gemma tried to keep an eye on Tara as best she could. She was the daughter she could never could have with Blair gone Gemma knew Tara would need her. She tried to be there in anyway possible, but she could never replace Blair and she knew that. Gemma knew how deep Tara had fallen in the past 18 months, but if she knew the truth it would be worse. Gemma wished she didn't know the truth. Ignorance would have been bliss. Very few knew the truth and that's the way they wanted it.

Sometimes the truth was worse than the lie we make each other believe. It was better this way to give Tara peace at least that's what Gemma told herself. This truth was too dangerous for people to know for many reasons too many at fault, too much hate that would come with it. Gemma hated them sometimes for it, but it took too much energy, too much time. The only thing Gemma was sure of was she would never allow Tara to repeat her mother's mistakes no matter what it took. She would not allow her to be condemned to that same fate. It was to late for her own redemption, but she would make sure Thomas and Tara would never need it. They will be better. They will become more than this chaos we call a life. No matter the cost. She would save them from this life.

Gemma grabbed the bags and strolled into the house to her surprise it smelled of bleach and Lysol and it was clean. Gemma came over twice a week to help Tara with the house because Chib's refused to allow her hire help. He insisted they were doing just fine without one, but she knew better it would be up to Tara. Gemma refused to allow it to be all on Tara, so she came by to help every time she could. It was also a good excuse to check in on her.

When Tara woke up she couldn't stand the mess anymore, so it was time to get this place in order. She wasn't the best at keeping it clean and her father was no help. Tara still couldn't understand how her mother made it seam effortless never asking for help. It just made Tara admire her more. Tara was always amazed by her mother by her beauty, her compassion, and her willingness to forgive so easily. Tara wished she could be like that, but no matter how hard she tried nothing could compare to Blair. Tara had an ace where her mother was and it times it was too much, so she turned to weed and alcohol to numb the pain of the loss of her mother. It worked sometimes, but it never lasted it could never give her back what she truly needed. It was a pain that would never go away the loss of a parent is something you never forget something that stays with you always.

"Tara, where are you?" Gemma yelled from the living room impressed by Tara's cleaning job she Tara must have had a hell of a night for her to wake up and clean. It wasn't something Tara was terribly found of, but she did it none the less.

"In the kitchen" Tara yelled back while putting the remain dishes in the cabinets, It was her last task thankfully. Cleaning the house was a pain in the ass, but it had to be done.

"Looks like someone's been busy? I don't understand how every year you manage to forget these" Gemma remarked holding up the bags; It amazed Gemma how much of Tara looked like Blair in that moment. She was her mother's daughter no matter how much Tara believed otherwise same high cheek bones, same long dark hair pulled in a bun, and the same fire burned bright in Blair burned in Tara.

"Oh damn. Honestly, I don't remember much of last night. I don't even know how I got home" Tara remarked; Tara's memory was pretty fuzzy about last night she could remember she got a bike, Jacksons fight with Hale but that was about it. Not that it mattered it was just another party nothing too exciting happens in charming. Losing time wasn't something new to Tara it happened more times than she liked to admit, but nothing to really worry about.

"How much did you drink last night" Gemma questioned; Gemma hated when Tara drank that much you never know what could happen when you weren't in control of yourself. Not that Tara had much to worry about when around family, but Gemma knew Tara had become more and more carless.

"I don't know. It was my birthday I can have a little fun" Tara said brushing it off she didn't want another lecture. Gemma was the only one cared enough to do it too make sure she didn't mess up that bad. Tara appreciate it at times, but she didn't want to hear it especially sober. Gemma knew how far push Tara, but sometimes it was hard for her to watch Tara fall so far from the person she was. A part of Tara died the moment her mother did, and she couldn't get it back she tried so hard. She wasn't that person anymore.

"I'm not judging just came by to drop these off. If the jackets don't fit let me know I still have the receipt and we can go get some that do. Thomas should be here soon he's bringing your bike since you left that too" Gemma stated putting the bags on the kitchen table

"Yea they should. How did you know I wanted them?" Tara asked; They were something out of Taras price range, she never asked her father or anyone she tried them on a few times when she was alone. Tara never expected anyone to get them for her and Gemma got her three. They were cropped leather jackets one blue, black and white. Tara just didn't understand how Gemma could possibly know she wanted them, but that was Gemma for you she knew everything. Even things it wasn't possible for her to knew she just did.

" I have my sources, you should know by now you cant keep anything a secret with me. I always find out" Gemma snickered; It was a part of her job to know everything, so she could be prepared. Gemma's part to play in the club was essential to survival just as Johns. She had to clean up after messes that they couldn't. It became a second nature for Gemma to know everyone's secrets even if she didn't want to know them.

"Yea don't we all" Tara retorted; everyone thought they had secrets, but in this life, nothing was ever secret. A secret implies no one else knows about, but in this life, everyone knows something. It might not be the whole thing, but enough for it not really be a secret.

Thomas wasn't like most people in his family and he didn't care. He didn't want to be like them. Thomas and Jackson might look just alike but they couldn't be more different. Thomas wanted nothing more than to head off to collage learn anything he possibly could. He didn't know exactly what he was going to do with his life, but there was one thing he was sure of that he wasn't going to be in Charming. He would not become his father. He would leave this life and never look back. Thomas saw firsthand what the club does to family and marriage and he refused to allow that in his life. He loved his family, but he wouldn't become them.

Thomas wasn't what anyone expected be unlike Jackson. Jackson was what everyone expected him to be. Jackson was carless, reckless and an womanizer. Jackson soon would become a prospect and follow their father's footsteps. Jackson idolized John wanted to do anything and everything to make him proud even though Jackson would never admit it, but Thomas knew the truth.

Thomas strolled into Tara's house seeing her laid up on that old black leather couch. Sometimes Thomas wondered how they still had that damn thing it was so damn old. Thomas hated that couch. The moment you sat on It you sunk to the bottom. Chibs refused to get rid of it he swore nothing was wrong with it, but Thomas believed everything was wrong with it.

"I don't see how you can manage to sit on that thing. It looks like it slowly eating you better get out while you can" Thomas snickered; Thomas and Tara had a friendship that went beyond reason. They understood one another. They were the forgotten ones. They were the overlooked. No one expected much from the Sam Crow kids they amount of times teacher accused them of cheating was endless. The amount of times they had been detained by cops because they were in the wrong place was endless.

"Well some of us aren't afraid of the couch" Tara remarked. The couch had charter at least that's what her father said.

Still hungover?" Thomas commented. He wondered if she could remember what happened last night. Thomas noticed how much she pushed her limits but knew better than to stand between Tara and a bottle these days was a dangerous game.

"A little. What happened to Donna?" Tara asked. When she woke up she expected to find Donna in her room, but she wasn't.

"I think Donna and Opie hooked up, I saw her at the club when I picked up your bike" Thomas stated; Thomas found it interesting to see them together last night considering Donna wasn't some easy girl Opie and Jacksons usual type.

"Well at least something worked out for someone last night" Tara stated; She still couldn't believe Jackson had the nerve to do that bullshit. Acting like he has some sort of say who she spends her time with. Tara hated when people act like she was some poor defenseless girl when she was far from that. Tara could handle her self no matter the situation.

"Damn you really don't remember do you" Thomas remarked;

"Remember what" Tara asked confused; Did something happened that I should remember. If I was important I would remember right? Tara thought