Chapter 7

They could have gotten there much faster if they sped their horses to a canter or a trot, but Hoss and Joe were deep in conversation.

"I feel like my hands are tied, Hoss."

"I know what you mean, Little Joe. I was talkin' to Pa the other night, and I don't know if it did him any good. He blames himself, Joe."

"How can he blame himself? That doesn't make any sense!"

"I reckon it don't have to make sense, Joe. Pa sent the two of you off with those cattle. He figures he took one too many gambles in buildin' this ranch, I guess."

"That's crazy. I wanted to go on this trip so bad I could taste it. All of us did. You remember how mad you were when you lost the draw? How can Pa blame himself? It was just business."

Hoss nodded in agreement. "There's somethin' more to it." Joe looked at his brother expectantly. "Somehow, Pa feels like he let God down. Like all this happened because he wasn't a good enough man."

Joe sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's just great, ain't it?!" He said sarcastically. "What you figure we ought to do?"

The big man shrugged. "Give 'em time, I guess. I dunno, but I think Pa's hurtin' as much as Adam." With a yell, he commanded Chubb into a gallop. Joe followed.


Ben rode uncomfortably into town. He hadn't been on a horse since they'd brought Adam home, and he was feeling the pain. He stiffened his legs slightly and his hind end thanked him for the brief respite. Ahead, he saw the outline of Reverend Williams' buggy. He slowed a bit, not really wanting to encounter the preacher.

It did him no good, however. The minister suddenly stopped his carriage and stepped down. "Oh, Good afternoon, Mr. Cartwright," he called pleasantly. He'd not been in town very long. He still addressed his congregation formally.

"Reverend Williams," Ben said politely.

"I heard you had a miracle last week," he said. "Thank the Lord."

"Yes," Ben said awkwardly.

Looking at his horse, the minister pushed his hat back off his brow and sighed heavily. "Well, that's trouble, then," he whispered.

"What's the trouble, Reverend?"

"This poor creature," he replied, gesturing at the animal's flank. "He's gone and hurt himself. I can't force him to continue." He scratched his head. "The trouble is, I need to be at Mrs. Hardy's by supper. She's asked me to come and be with her and her mother."

Ben looked down sadly. He had heard the news that Mrs. Hardy's mother was not long for this world. "I'd be happy to loan you my horse," he offered. "And take care of your critter, there."

The Reverend's face lit up like a lamp. "Oh, thank you, Mr. Cartwright! The Lord always provides, doesn't he?" He waited for Ben to dismount and pull the mail from his saddlebags. "You sure are a blessing, Mr. Cartwright. I'll remember you in my prayers." He retrieved his Bible and a small package from the buggy and tucked them away into the saddlebags. "I'll put him up in the livery tonight."

"I'll leave word there about your horse," said Ben. He waved to the minister as he resumed his trip down the road.

Ben frowned and turned his attention to the injured horse. "Whoa, boy," he said calmly as he moved in close and unhitched him. The horse was limping, and seemed grateful to be free of his burden. Ben felt his flank, and gently patted him. "You are hurtin', aren't you, boy?" Ben scratched the animal's chin. "Not to worry, I'll take good care of you."

Ben gathered up the reins and stored them harmlessly out of the way. He attached a lead rope to the halter and tied it to the side of the carriage. Then he stretched his arms and back and moved to the front of the vehicle. Folding his arms across his chest, he studied the buggy for a moment. Any sensible man would leave it by the road and bring back a fresh horse to pull it into town. Ben didn't feel like making the extra trip, though. Stepping forward, he put the weight of the carriage against his shoulders and began to drag it behind him, the horse limping slowly alongside.

Thoughts pounded in his mind along with each heavy footstep:

STEP. Adam, exhausted, struggling against the weight he drug behind him.

STEP. If I hadn't sent him in the first place...

STEP. Nothing is more important than my precious boys, not even the ranch.

STEP. My God, I could have lost him.

STEP. The torture that man put him through.

STEP. My Lord, I didn't trust in You.

STEP. My shirt drenched with his tears.

Ben could feel his heart pounding, but the sensation was somehow satisfying. He plodded on, dragging the whole lot slowly towards Virginia City.


"About time you got home," Adam said as he met his brothers in the barn.

"Hey, Adam."

"Hi."

"I need to show you around the storehouse. I don't intend cleaning it again for quite a while," Adam said.

Hoss and Joe exchanged a quick wink. "Sure thing, brother. Let's just get these horses up." They were pleased again when Adam lent them a hand. They followed him across the yard to the shed and waited while he unlocked the door. The sun was beginning to set, so Adam lit a lamp.

"Over here are all the tools. I sorted them all out, so be careful putting things back. The hardware is organized in those bins. I have rope and leather over there. Oh, and I put the dynamite in this barrel in the middle, so don't be stumbling around in here in the middle of the night. I don't want to have to explain your demise to Pa."

It was meant as a joke, and they all smiled. Hoss elbowed Little Joe. "Little Joe, remind me again why we decided to bring him back?"

Joe chuckled.

Adam slapped Hoss on the shoulder. "Let's go get some supper."

The three men smiled together as they shut the storehouse and went back to the house.


"You all right, Ben?" Dennis asked.

The exhausted man stopped and dropped the weight off his shoulders. He began to rub them carefully.

"I ain't the smartest man in town," Dennis said, "but it seems to me you ain't doin' this right. Ain't the horse supposed to pull the man?"

Ben chuckled at the joke. He explained between breaths, "Preacher's horse is hurt. I told him I'd take care of things."

Dennis' eyes lit up with understanding, but he continued, "You couldn't a left the buggy by the roadside 'til tomorrow? That's what I'da done."

Ben shrugged, then regretted doing it. He massaged his sore shoulders a little more deeply. "Help me with it?" He asked.

"I'll do better than that, I'll take care of it. You sit down a while."

Ben walked away from the rig and eased himself down onto a wooden crate outside the livery door. Within minutes, Dennis had taken the horse inside and reappeared with a glass of water. Ben took it gratefully and quenched his thirst.

"I heard what happened to Adam," Dennis said as he leaned against the wall next to Ben. "He all right?"

Ben shrugged. "Starting to be."

"It's a terrible thing," Dennis said. "Must have scared you out of your wits."

"That it did," Ben agreed. He drank the rest of the water down.

"I'll refill it for ya," offered Dennis, holding out his hand.

Ben handed him the glass.

"You know, Ben," he said, "these things ain't nobody's fault." He took the glass to refill it, leaving Ben staring after him.

They worked together to put away the carriage, and Dennis loaned Ben a horse for the ride home.


"Adam?" Ben asked, peering from the landing on the stairs at the dark form on the settee.

"Pa, you startled me," he answered. "I didn't expect anyone else would be up."

Ben came down the stairs fully into the flickering glow thrown off by the fire. "You all right?"

"I suppose," said Adam. "I had a dream. Couldn't sleep afterwards... kept thinking about it."

"Cain?" Ben asked timidly.

"No, Pa, not this time." He scooted over to make room for his Pa. "I was in New England. You remember that street that went from the wharf to Grandpa Stoddard's house?" Ben nodded and Adam continued. "Mother was walking with me. We were going home." He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. "I guess we'd just seen you off on a ship."

There was a moment of brooding quiet, then Adam cleared his throat and continued. "I was pretty mad. I guess I thought you should have stayed home with us. I remember I asked her why you had to keep going out there, over and over again, leaving us to wonder if we'd ever see you again."

He crossed one leg over the other and clasped his hands around his knee. "She stopped me right there in the street. She said, 'Son, unless a man faces a challenge, he'll never be satisfied that he's really a man.'"

One of the logs popped loudly and a small spark landed on the stone hearth. Ben eased himself down next to his son. "What do you make of it all?" he asked.

Adam grinned and shrugged. "You think she would have said something like that, Pa?"

It was Ben's turn to smile. "Sounds just like her. Your mother walked a fine line between playful and profound. That's where you got that good head on your shoulders."

"There's more. I asked her why you couldn't take me with you. She said, 'Some things are just between a man and his God. Having us around would just complicate things.' She said you'd just end up resenting us both." Leaning forward, Adam rubbed his hands together. "She touched my cheek, and I woke up." He turned his head, and his teeth showed when he spoke. "Well, what do you think, Pa?"

"Humph," Ben grunted. "I think your mother was talking to us both." They listened to the flames crackle. "I suppose we get too comfortable sometimes. Something like this happens, and we get forced to sort things out. Sometimes we find out we're not who we thought we were."

"Feels good to have it sorted out, though," Adam offered with a smile.

A sudden warmth washed over Ben. He reached out with his left hand and gave his son's shoulder a loving squeeze. The two sat staring at the flames together, comfortably at home.

THE END