Disclaimer: JE owns the characters.

Warning: There is some violence in this chapter. I apologize in advance if I offend, or upset, any readers.

A/N: Thank you Linda.


"Deacon and I were in Moscow four weeks ago," I said quietly as I stared into Bobby's eyes.

"What?" Bobby whispered as his face went pale.

"I was there," I said with a nod. It had reached the papers here in the states, so I knew that he had at least heard about it. "I saw the whole thing go down."

"Christ, Stephanie!" Bobby said as he stood back up and started pacing. "You aren't going to go anywhere near him again. That man is deranged. How can Alexander keep a man like that around?"

"I've asked him that same question," I said as I watched Bobby pace back and forth. "Family is Family no matter what they do."

"That's insane!" Bobby shouted as he turned to look at me. "You aren't to go back to Deal without me or one of the guys with you. I don't want that sick bastard anywhere near you."

"The only reason why I'll go along with that is because I agree with you on the 'sick bastard' part," I said, not making an issue out of the fact that he just issued an order.

"I just can't believe that you were there," Bobby said after he stared down at me for a moment. "What the hell happened?"

"Deacon is Alexander's equivalent to Ranger's Hector," I said in a way of explaining. "No one ever sees Deacon. I was never told exactly what his job title was. I just thought that we were heading out there for a meeting. I had no clue that what he did was part of the plan all along."

"That shit was planned?" Bobby gasped.

"Yeah," I said with a slight nod. "I had no clue. When we got to the warehouse, he said just to follow his lead."

"You helped?" Bobby asked in disbelief.

"God no!" I said in disgust. "Are you crazy? I'd never do that to someone."

"So you sat there and watched him?" Bobby asked, still in a shocked state.

"You saw Deacon. There's no way that I would have been able to stop him."

"I know," he said as he sadly shook his head. "You saw everything?"

"I walked out when he was working on the second guy," I said quietly. "I ran outside and threw up."

"Can't blame you. We heard all about it at RangeMan. Just hearing about it made my stomach flip over," he said as he flopped down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair. "I can't imagine what it must have been like for you."

"I still have nightmares about it," I whispered as I looked down at the carpet. "The first week was the worst. I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing all of that blood."

"Why did he do it?" Bobby asked.

"Alexander said that they found out that our contact in Russia was screwing us over," I said with a small shrug. "That's all that he would say."

"Why didn't you leave once you got back?" Bobby asked.

It was a valid question for someone from the outside to ask. He didn't understand the Family. You can't just pack up and walk out. I still have to go back to Deal whenever Alexander calls. I'm fine with dealing with Alexander. You can't judge a whole group by one person's actions. Everyone else in Alexander's 'organization' were always nice to me. It was like one big family. There was only one way to explain all of it. I looked over at Bobby and said one word, "Loyalty."

I fell silent as I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my head on them. It was late and I was tired, but I knew that if I closed my eyes, I'd see it all over again. I had been fighting to hold back the tears and I just couldn't do it anymore. I threw my right arm over my head as the first of the tears fell. Bobby was right beside me as the dam broke and my body started shaking. I felt him move in behind me to lean against the head board as he pulled me into his arms. I had never allowed myself to feel any of this pain that I had locked up inside. I cried everything out and then finally drifted off to sleep in Bobby's arms after he got us laying down under the covers.

I knew that I was dreaming, but it scared me just the same. We were standing at the back of the rental car putting on our vests and loading up on hardware. It was a simple request by Deacon and I really didn't think too much about it. I had often gone into meetings with Alexander dressed for worst case scenarios. I didn't even blink when Deacon handed me two Glocks.

"There's a round already in each chamber," Deacon said softly. "Just follow my lead."

I nodded and walked with him over to the door on the south side of the building. We walked in and headed over to the six guys that were standing in the middle of the warehouse. I already knew one of them. Mischa Osterhoudt had been my contact for Moscow since Alexander first brought me on board. He gave me a warm smile as he lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles.

I felt all of the blood drain from my face when I saw the blood start to seep through his shirt. I scanned the rest of the men and saw them all start to fall to the floor. I turned my head towards Deacon and saw the gun in his hand. The silver silencer caught the light from over head. I couldn't move. My mind was shouting to run, but my body just wasn't listening.

I turned back to Mischa as he reached out and grabbed me. I screamed as he turned me around and brought a knife to my throat. Deacon raised his gun and shot just one round. I felt Mischa fall back and his knife nicked my neck. I watched as Deacon walked around the men that were laying on the ground. He stopped at each one and fired one shot into their heads until he got to the last two. He disarmed one of the men and cuffed him to a steel beam that supported the roof.

Deacon grabbed the other man that was trying to crawl away. He brought the man over to the center of the warehouse as he took out a very large, very sharp knife. I stood there, frozen in my spot, as I watched Deacon bend down and speak softly to the man. It all sounded like gibberish to me since I don't know Russian. I felt my mouth fall open when Deacon's knife came up to the man's face and sliced into the skin that covered his forehead. The man screamed out when the knife dug into his skin.

"Please," the man shouted in English. "I don't know what you want to know!"

"That just won't do," Deacon said quietly.

My stomach tilted when the knife came up again and cut into the man's cheek. I stood there and watched as Deacon continued to disfigure the man. I listened to his screams for help and his pleas for his life. Deacon didn't seem to hear him. He just kept cutting into the man's face. I felt a small wave of dizziness pass through me when Deacon cut the man's ear off. They were both covered in the man's blood. I could no longer tell what color the man's hair was, or the color of his shirt for that matter. I could only see his blood as his voice rang in my head. I said a quick prayer when he fell silent.

I don't know if he's dead, or just passed out, but either way Deacon seemed to lose interest in the man's head. I watched in horror as Deacon used his knife to cut off the man's fingers, one by one. I'm not sure why he did it, but I guess it made some sort of statement all the same. He cut the man's clothes off and then, starting at the man's feet, he ran the knife along the man's skin. Blood started spilling out of the cuts and onto the concrete. I watched it start to head in my direction, but I still couldn't get my body move. I must have made a sound because Deacon looked over at me. He saw the blood rolling towards me and walked over to my side.

"You're okay, Stephanie," he said quietly as he pulled out a handkerchief to wipe off his hands. Once they were clean, he took my hands and pulled me away from the blood. He stood me off to the side, about ten feet from the man that was still cuffed to the beam. He saw the knife nick on my neck and brought out another handkerchief. He placed it on the side of my neck and placed my hand over it to hold it in place. The whole time, I hadn't taken my eyes off of the man that was lying on the floor. "Just stay right here."

I gave him a slight nod and watched him walk back over to the man that was lying on the floor. He pulled out his gun and shot the man in the head. I let out a whoosh of air knowing that the man was finally out of his misery if he wasn't dead already. That feeling was short lived as Deacon walk to the man that was just a few feet away from me.

I listened as Deacon squatted in front of the man and quietly spoke to him. More gibberish. Deacon frowned at the man when he only shook his head 'no'. He brought his knife back out in a flash and I felt drops of blood hit me in the face. Deacon had relieved this man of one of his ears as well.

Nothing could have prepared me for what Deacon did next. I couldn't understand why Deacon was taking the man's clothes off. I watched as he removed the man's shirt and pants, cutting the shirt to get it completely off. My stomach dropped at the sight of the naked, bound man. Blood was slowly running down his left shoulder from the bullet that had come from Deacon's gun. I didn't know the words that he said, but I could hear the pleading in his voice.

It happened so quickly that it took my mind a minute to process what I had just seen. Deacon's new play toy was screaming out in agony as Deacon reached into the deep cut that he had inflicted on the man's stomach. I felt the bile start to rise in my throat when Deacon pulled out, what I could only assume to be, that man's intestines.

That was the straw that broke my back. I turned and ran out of the warehouse to the rental car that we had outside. I bent over and started throwing up. I saw Deacon's blood covered shoes come into my view as I continued to throw up. I felt him hand come up and rub my back in slow circles.

"Don't touch me," I growled between vomiting.

"Stay here while I finish up," he said quietly. "Don't go back into the warehouse."

I just nodded as I continued to dry heave. Once I felt that I was done, I opened the back door to the rental and pulled out my duffle bag. I pulled out my make-up bag and removed the mirror from inside. I looked pretty pale and I had blood splattered across my face. I grabbed a small bottle of water off of the back seat and wet down a sock that I had grabbed from my bag. I quickly leaned up the small cut on my neck and then washed off my face.

I took a moment to take a good look at my surroundings. The warehouse sat out in the middle of nowhere. There weren't any cars driving down the road that was about a half a mile away. I figured that Deacon would still be a few minutes, so I took this opportunity to change my clothes. I had managed to get blood all over myself. I took off my cream pant suit and heals and changed into a black sweater and jeans.

I was sitting on the back seat, lacing up my boots, when I realized that Deacon was taking a long time to finish up. I stood up and shut the back door as I looked down at my watch. He had been in there for about an hour. I knew that he told me to stay outside, but I wanted to get the hell out of here. I walked over to the door and headed back inside. That had been a huge mistake.

There was blood and body parts all over the warehouse. Deacon had stripped all of the man and dismembered all of them, tossing their removed parts precariously around the large room. I spotted Deacon kneeling over one of the men. I felt a new wave of nausea roll through me when I saw him cut off the man's penis and throw it across the room.

"Oh God," I whispered. How could I have not stopped this from happening? Why did Alexander send me out here to be a part of this?

"I told you not to come back in here," Deacon said when he looked over his shoulder at me. His voice was cold and flat. "I'm almost done. I'll be out in a few minutes. Go sit in the car."

I never got the chance to turn around and run back outside. A heavy blackness enveloped me as I passed out. I had welcomed the darkness as a way to easy the pressure that had been building up inside my head. All of those men were dead and I had done nothing to stop it. I don't even know why.

I slowly opened my eyes and looked into the most perfect pair of amber eyes. The light on my night stand had been turned on and I was looking up at an angel. Bobby was hovering over me as he cupped my face. My vision got blurry, so I blinked the tears away.

"It was just a dream, Honey," Bobby whispered as he wiped the tears away. "You're okay."

"There was so much blood," I whispered.

"I know," Bobby whispered as he lowered himself down on top of me and took my in his arms. "It'll get better. I promise."

I wrapped my arms around his chest as I felt a few more tears roll down my cheeks. In the passed, I had always jumped out of bed and raced to the gym. I would spend about an hour beating on a punching bag to get the nightmare out of my head. I had focused all of my energy on the bag as I pictured Deacon.

I had looked at my alarm clock as I went to turn off the light and realized that it would have been stupid. It was four fifty-five. The alarm would be going off in five minutes, so I settled myself back down and just held Bobby. I ran my fingers through his hair as he rested his head on my shoulder. I had to grin when he left out a soft groan as my fingers lightly ran down his back.

"Not fair," he whispered. "We don't have enough time this morning."

"Maybe we can find enough time tonight," I whispered back.

"Just so you know, it's been a while for me," Bobby whispered as he lifted his head to look down at me.

"Me, too," I said as I reached up and pushed his hair off of his forehead.

"I can't imagine that for you," he said with a frown. "You're too beautiful to go without someone throwing themselves at you feet."

"None of them were you," I confessed with a small smile.

"I know the feeling," he said with his own smile. "But I think that I've been waiting a little longer then you have."

The alarm went off before I could ask how long. Bobby reached over and turned it off as he rolled out of bed. I felt my mouth start to water as I watched him stretch out his muscles. Even at five in the morning, he still looked amazing. I, on the other hand, knew that I looked like hell. I could only imagine how my hair looked. I was pretty sure that it was sticking out everywhere, so I saved myself the embarrassment and didn't lift my head off of my pillow.

"You always look amazing," Bobby said when he caught my insecure look. "Even when you first get up. It's actually my favorite time of the day."

"How can you say that? My hair is everywhere," I said as I rolled my eyes.

"Of course it is," Bobby said with a chuckle. "It's sexy when it's everywhere."

"Yeah. Right," I said sarcastically.

"Get out of bed and get ready," Bobby said as he made his way to the door. "You have ten minutes."

I rolled out of bed once he disappeared down the hall. I went to the bathroom to answer nature's call and threw my hair up in a pony tail. I dumped one of my duffle bags out and threw in one of my RangeMan uniforms that was still in my closet. I added my travel toiletry bag and my boots. I stood there for a moment and looked in my bag. I tossed in a white tank top, a pair of heals, thigh highs, garter belt, lacy bra, and matching panties. I through my bag over my shoulder and grabbed my black shirt suit out of the garment bag that Ram had hung up yesterday afternoon. I made my way out of my closet and tossed my Glock and my H&K in my purse. I scanned my mental check list and then deemed myself ready for anything. Well, anything but telling Ranger what I had really been up to. That was something that I wasn't looking forward to.

"You ready?" Bobby asked from my doorway.

"Yeah," I said as I took the hand that he was holding out to me. "Let's get the show on the road."