For the LOVE
Chapter 7: Heads in the past breed only empty hearts
[10 Years Ago]
Sans was hunched over his desk in his secret room in the basement, plans and drawings laid out before him in no clear pattern. He had gotten taller since reaching the surface so the tiny, sound proofed room under the stairs in the basement made it difficult for him to pace as he would have liked. Without a door, the room only held a single light bulb illuminating all four of the concrete walls, covered in ever theory, graph or picture he had of Frisk.
'If anyone is going to honor the kid, it would be me,' Sans thought.
He had volunteered to head the construction of a memorial to honor the fallen children who had given their lives to save the monsters from the Underground. It would be his last hurrah for Frisk. With this, he would put them to rest and move on with his life. His stubborn heart would always be broken, thinking of a small child for the end of his days but at least he could try to go on.
Maybe he would date a few monsters? Muffet was single and any time they had crossed paths she had seemed interested. She was definitely a 'black widow' but if it was good for them both, why would he care?
He shook his head to clear it and looked back at his papers. Toriel had wanted to honor ALL the fallen children and despite his protests, he had added Chara to the monument. From Toriel's description and his own scattered memories of the child, they had been very similar to his Frisk but where the crazy had bled into Chara's features after a time, Frisk had been all softness.
He had finally cracked the code of the genocide timelines when Toriel had described Chara. How the two had become intertwined, he still didn't know, but he knew that when all of his friends were dying, Frisk hadn't been driving.
It had made it easier, the memories of their good times together, untainted with dust once more.
He spread his hands over the sketches he had done and the final renderings of the memorial. Once he finished this, he would say goodbye for good. His chest tightened at the thought and he had to grab the front of his shirt at the pain.
It took him off his chair, to his knees and he stayed in his basement like that for the rest of the evening, bright blue tears falling from his face.
[Tuesday Morning – Present Day]
I had woken up alone again this morning so when Mettaton had asked me to lunch to discuss my appearance on his show, I took it. We had stopped by a vendor to grab some sandwiches and Mettaton had suggested we eat in the park since the weather was so nice.
Since the Monsters had claimed the land for their city, they had kept the human park updated and clean with new benches, art and even a memorial. As we came to the center of the park we stopped at the large metal artwork, both lost in thought.
"Mettaton…. Why is Sans so distant sometimes?" I asked. Both of us had stopped in front of a large concrete dais, atop depicted three children standing on the center of a mound of flowers, their back to each other and their shoulders touching, with their hands behind their back.
"Sans… is complicated dear…" he said gazing at the children. All of him seemed to slump as he exhaled. "He's smart enough to have figured out teleportation but too lazy to pick up his socks when asked… I mean, Alphys told me that at age 50 he was in line to be the next royal scientist but he walked away from it all. None of us have been able to get close to him, even Papy he holds at an arm's length…" He looked up at the statue. "Take this for example. It was commissioned to remember the fallen children who gave their souls to save us from the Underground. Do you know who designed it?" He turned on one heeled boot and plopped into a bench facing away from the kids. I sat beside him, quizzical expression on my face.
"Sans, Darling!" He laughed, "Yes… that Sans… He designed the entire thing. From the children to the names etched into the flower bed, and how it would allbe centered into this park. We were all surprised on how it turned out…. But the day of the ceremony…. He never showed up," Mettaton swung an arm of the back of the bench and pointed at a name, seamlessly etched into the metal. "These names were the children who came after the Prince had died."
"The Prince?" I asked.
Mettaton gestured to a small goat like child standing behind us. Even though the metal work, I could tell he took after Toriel and Asgore.
"Prince Asriel Dreemurr"
I leaned to the side, and I could see a handful of flowers held behind his back. I stood up from the bench and waved at the statue to Asriel's left.
"What about this one?"
"That is Frisk," Mettaton sighed with a small smile on his face as he rose to join me in front of the next child.
"They fell to the Underground as the last child and with their help we were able to break the barrier."
Again I leaned to each side, trying to see what the child held. A small stick was in it's firm grasp, not thick enough to be any type of threat.
"And this one…?"I asked, already moving to the next side.
"This was the first child to fall to the underground. They were taken in by the King and Queen and raised as their own before a terrible fate befell them."
It was harder to see what the child was holding and I had to pull myself onto the dais and lean forward with my head angled, almost touching the metal flowers. Behind it's back was a knife, clenched tightly in it's fists. I leaned back, slightly shaken.
"What was their name?" I turned toward Mettaton who had been watching me closely.
"That child's name was Chara…"
"Ch-Chara?" I mumbled. My chest was suddenly tight and my head was swimming. I was starting to see black spot could my vision.
"Lauren…. Lauren? What's wrong dear?" I could feel Mettaton trying to hold me up as my knees were giving out. As my vision faded I could hear the distant sound of a panicked Mettaton on the phone.
[The Lab]
Sans had felt the pain in his chest and panicked. Had something happened to Pap? He slid down the wall he had backed into as he had entered his office. He could hear Alphys on the phone as she came running into the room. His soul was pounding loud in his head and he could only make out every other word.
"Sans – Park – Lauren – Collapsed…" Alphys was beside him trying to get his attention, her arms waving all over the place before she hid her face.
"what…. happened…?" He mumbled. The pounding was receding and he took a couple unneeded breaths.
"M-Mettaton and Lauren were in the p-park! S-she suddenly collapsed!" Alphys was on her hands and knees beside him. "A-are you well enough to go get her? I-I've been studying human anatomy and w-we have those rooms for injured monsters…" He stutter was less when she was lost in her own thoughts.
Sans pushed himself back up and shook his head once to clear his vision.
"yeah… i'll be right back… get a room ready…" He took a step forward and teleported out of the room.
He was in the park beside the Memorial a second later. Mettaton had Lauren's head on his lap, slightly shaken from Sans' sudden appearance.
"meet us at the lab," he mumbled as he scooped his mate off the cold ground. She was light, lighter than he really wanted to question at that minute. Holding her close he teleported back to the lab forgoing his earlier fears of another person with him.
[The Void]
I was in the darkness again, the same darkness that seemed to grab hold of me every time I fell asleep, but this time it was different. I could see a small child. It seemed to be distorted, as if it was being projected though a bad connection on an old TV. It had short brown hair, a green and yellow stripped sweater, brown shorts and shoes, but the worst part was it's face. It was smiling but it's eyes were the brightest red I had ever seen and the smiled was twisted and contorted in malice and insanity. I could feel the recognition before it really hit me.
"Chara…" I whispered. My voice sounded like the scared eight-year-old I felt like.
It was like a starting bell, and Chara leapt toward me. I dodged, instinct from years before coming back to me. I knew what this was. Chara wanted to take control of me. Chara wanted to kill everyone and everything. Chara…
We had done this before. I remembered. I remembered the last fight we had had. I remembered the pain and fear of all my friends, rushing back to me, and how I had felt powerless to stop it. I remembered…
Chara slashed with a knife I didn't see and I rolled to dodge again but they were quick and caught my arm.
It was instinctual. I raised my arm and pushed at the magic I knew I had. Volleys of black bones flew from the ground and speared the child.
There was a look a surprise on it's face before the smile returned again.
I felt a shiver run down my back and sucked in a deep breath. This was going to take a while.
[The Lab]
It had been two days since she had passed out in the park and Sans hadn't left the Lab since they had put her on the support systems they had acquired. Every test Alphys did seemed to come back negative but Lauren seemed to be breathing on her own albeit a bit more ragged than normal. He sat forward in the plastic chair in the hallway and placed his hands in his lab coat.
His fingers touched a folded piece of paper and he pulled it out to examine it again.
She had drawn him the night their souls had connected. The art was amazing and depicted him sitting on one of the kitchen chairs dressed in his hoodie and tee shirt with jeans and a pair of slippers, leaning forward with his elbows on his thighs and his hands hanging in between his legs. On the bones right after his knuckles she had written 'love' on the right hand and 'hate' on the left while he was smirking at the outside world, his left eye glowing.
He hadn't posed for her so he still didn't know how she had done it but just looking at it had given him chills the next morning and he had stuck it in his pocket on his way to work.
He was so engrossed in the drawing that he didn't notice when Liz sat beside him. The sudden shadow on the drawing had spooked him but he sat back casually and refolded the picture before shoving it in his pocket and turned toward his mate's best friend.
Liz was stone faced and looking at him dead in the eyes when he raised one of his theoretical eyebrows at her. Liz had been in and out of their makeshift hospital for the last two days. Stopping by after work and going home when Grillby had come to get her each night. They never spoke, just sat in a tense silence each and every time but Sans wasn't having it today.
"what." he gritted out.
Liz leaned back in the chair next to him, her eyes a bit softer.
"You know all the tattoos she had?" Liz asked. "She drew them all. Every single one of them is from her reference and she had them inked into her. She's been drawing her memories for years…" She turned away from him to stare at the little window on the wall. Inside was Lauren, resting on a hospital bed with monitors surrounding her.
"At first I just let it go. What could it hurt right? But she never looked at them once she had drawn them, like she didn't remember ever drawing them. After a while they started to get darker and more disturbing… She saw a shrink and he said that the more she purged, the more she may remember and hopefully the better she would sleep…" She turned toward Sans again. "I've kept them all in a storage unit. At least ten year's worth. I've seen all of you before, but now I have names to go with faces… Do you know what my favorite one is?" she smiled sadly.
Sans just sat wide-eyed staring at her with his hands hanging in his lap. She had been drawing them? All of them? All the good and the bad? How? Why?
At her question he shook his head slowly before swallowing.
"It's you and your brother. You are both looking over your shoulders like you are holding hands with the observer. Do you know my least favorite?" he voice started to lose any of the natural warmth she had and Sans swore if she had eyelights like he did, they would've gone out.
"It's also of you. But you are wearing your brother's scarf thing… It's this beautiful hall with golden light filtering in but as you look lower, you can see where the tiles on the floor have been smashed and there is blood splatter on the columns and the floor. The worst part?" She cocked her head and smirked but there was no mirth behind it. "There is nothing around you for a few feet… and you are just standing there, smiling with your one glowing eye…" there was finally emotion in her eyes as she said it and Sans could swear it was a mix of fear and rage.
Slowly she sat back in her chair, the smirk falling into a small frown.
"When she had gotten her latest ink, it was like she was branding herself. Even though she didn't know you, even though she had no idea you existed, she was yours. The hero of her dreams and the demon of her nightmares," Liz looked back at her friend.
"You know who she is don't you…"
He finally spoke, the lights in his eyes had gone out and he also looked at the window.
"it's a long story…." He mumbled.
"It's enough…" She looked back at him.
"I've seen her in a hospital bed, more times than I can count…. More times than should be normal… I've seen every inch of her skin. I know every scar, nick, and mole. What I'm getting at here is…" She sat up straight, her eyes still on the skeleton beside her as he turned his blacked out eyes to her.
"If you hurt her like I think you have in the past, there will be more than hell to pay…." She glared at him.
"Lauren loves with her entire being Sans… The question is, are you willing to accept that? Whatever your past together may be like?"
[The Void]
I was tired. I was tired and fed up with this whole fucking thing. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to see Liz. I wanted to hug Sans a cry for however long I could about all the things I remembered but Chara wouldn't die.
I had thrown bones, I had teleported, I had even been able to shield myself the few times Chara had thrown their knife at me.
"Fuck this… Fuck you… Fuck everything… I just want to go home…" I could feel the rage burning in my chest.
"Who ever said you had control?" Chara giggled.
"I DID YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I threw up both of my hands and pointed them at the creature before me. Deadly black GasterBlasters circled them and fired in unison.
"Someone is getting a little testy…" Chara giggled from behind me and swiped at my exposed back. I tried to roll away but ended up on my hands and knees. Chara kicked me in my ribs, my eight year old body unable to move anymore, and rolled me onto my back. They sat on my hips, the knife in their hand raised high to strike me in the chest.
Time seemed to freeze as I remembered this exact fight. We had done this song and dance before. I remembered how it ended and I sighed. Chara would plunge their knife into my chest. But the wound wouldn't kill me, instead it would break apart my soul and Chara would be flung away giving me enough time to reset.
But I couldn't reset. Not anymore. I couldn't do that to everyone again. I couldn't doom Sans to relive it all over again, or myself for that matter. So how would I change this?
"::We take back your soul::"
Beside me stood Gaster. He was in his black lab coat and black slacks, the only real pieces of his body were his skeletal hands that looked to have holes punched out of them, and his head. It was just a skull, no teeth in his open mouth and his eye sockets had cracks; one above his right eye to the crown of his head and one below his left that seemed to stop right before his mouth.
"::I have my soul…::" I spoke back from the ground.
"::Not all of it. But I will help you get it back::"
"Why?" I asked. Wingdings seemed like too much work at the moment.
"::Just watch::"
In an instant time seemed to move but it was slower. I watched as my hand shot forward with the help of Gaster and dove right into the Chara's chest. I yanked it out after a second, pulling what felt like little shards of glass along with my hand.
A very wide eyed Chara slumped on my now twenty-eight year old form and seemed to melt into the surrounding darkness.
"::Now the fun part begins::" I swore I could hear him smiling beside me.
[The Lab]
He had felt the pain in his chest again. Pap had convinced him to go home and rest a few hours before coming back to the Lab again. He had been there for over a week now and apparently everyone was starting to get worried. Liz had even said that this was the longest Lauren had ever been asleep.
The pain in his chest had him right back at her bedside. At least he had had a shower and a decent meal.
She was sitting up and when he touched her hand she turned toward him. There was recognition. That was a good sign. She smiled at him, slowly at first, and then began to cry. Using his magic he locked the door to the room and climbed onto the bed.
He had to move carefully, all the wires and IV's were still hung behind the bed and he didn't want to accidently rip anything out of her. As soon as he got settled by her hips, she hugged him, the small cries turning into sobs.
"I'm sorry…. I'm sorry…" was all he could make out in between the ugly shutters and gasping. He let his head hang and thump onto her right shoulder as his arms closed around her.
She remembered.
