Hi everyone. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter. I really appreciate them. The next few chapters will take place during the time of The Quarterback episode, amongst the events of that episode, but with some changes and additions. For instance, New Directions singing Seasons of Love in this chapter is the same as when they sing it in The Quarterback episode, but this rendition also includes Rachel, Quinn, Brittany and the members who joined ND after Regionals (I couldn't let ND be short three members). In a few chapters, we'll also find out where Finn is and if he's still alive. Enjoy and review if I should keep going!
Chapter 7: Seasons Of Love
Kurt and Blaine sat in Kurt's bedroom, not saying anything. The knife being found felt like the final confirmation that Finn was gone. No one had wanted to believe it, but if Finn was out there somewhere, wouldn't he have his phone and wallet with him? Wouldn't he be wearing his jacket? And why would a knife with his blood on it be found?
"I just want to beat up those people who took Finn," Kurt told Blaine. "I just couldn't believe they were sitting there in the police station saying that they didn't know who Finn was. His things were found on their street, the knife was in their bushes... did they really expect us to believe them?"
"I know," Blaine said, rubbing Kurt's back. "I know."
"And those people are parents!" Kurt continued. "They said they have three kids! So why would they do that to someone so young."
"Who knows?" Blaine sighed.
Kurt looked at Blaine. "Blaine, thanks so much for being here for me and for my family... I appreciate it so much."
"Of course I'm here for you," Blaine said. "Even though we're not together, I love you and I love your family. I'm so sorry about what happened this fall..."
"Blaine, I know you're sorry," Kurt interrupted. "You've been telling me for months. And I've forgiven you and I believe that you wouldn't do it again if we were to get back together. I just can't deal with all of this right now, with everything that's going on. I'm sorry, but I don't feel ready to get back together and restart our relationship on top of everything else."
"It's okay," Blaine said. "I understand."
Kurt gave Blaine a hug, glad that Blaine understood. Then he heard a knock on his bedroom door. "Come in," he said, assuming it was either Burt or Carole.
But when Kurt looked up, Rachel came in. "Hey," Rachel said softly. "I hope you don't mind that I came by. I just haven't been able to stop thinking about you and your parents..."
"Thanks for coming," Kurt said, giving his best friend a hug.
"How are you doing?" Blaine asked.
"I'm handling it," Rachel admitted. "Just... a knife? A bloody knife? So he was stabbed to death?"
"I guess," Blaine said. "We don't know anything."
Rachel started sobbing. "I wanted so badly to believe he was still around, that he was still out there... but I think he might really be gone. It's not right. Who would do that to him? He was such an amazing person..."
Kurt pulled Rachel into the hug with him and Blaine.
"Kurt, Blaine, Rachel..." a voice said. The three young adults looked up and saw Burt and Carole.
"We were thinking of having a service this weekend," Burt told them.
"A service?" Kurt asked. "But we don't even have the body! We don't even know if he's dead!" It looked like he was dead. But there was still a chance he was alive, right?
"I know this is upsetting," Carole said. "Believe me, I do not want to have to plan a funeral for my son."
"Then why are you doing it when you don't even know for sure?" Rachel asked.
"I don't want to believe that he's dead," Carole said. "Look at what we have though. There's no sign of Finn. Just his things and a bloody knife." She looked ready to cry. "I hate this, just as much as you guys do."
"We don't want to do this," Burt said. "Believe me, we don't want to. We want Finn back. But there's nothing that gives us that impression. For all we know, the killer could have hid his body."
"I just want him back," Rachel sighed.
"We all do," Burt said. "But we've all been missing work and school. Eventually we need to get back to our lives. You guys are in college. The glee club has Nationals to get ready for."
"It's more important to us that we find Finn," Blaine said.
"We appreciate that, but Finn would want you guys to win Nationals," Burt said. "We do want the glee club to sing at the service though, if you could talk to Mr. Schuester about that."
"Yeah, I'll talk to him," Blaine said, looking defeated. "Maybe the alumni could sing with us, too?"
"Yeah, that would be nice," Carole said. "And if anyone wants to talk about Finn, we'd be happy to have you talk about him." She looked at Rachel. "We're assuming you'd like to say something?"
Rachel sighed. "Yeah, I would."
x
Rachel hoped that between the day Burt and Carole told her they were making plans for a service and the day of the actual service, Finn would be found.
But the day of the service arrived, and there was still no sign of Finn.
Rachel didn't want to have to go to a service. That made everything so final. She, Kurt and Santana would be returning to New York the next day, and the other alumni would be returning to college as well. The police had promised to keep looking, but with everyone going back to school, it felt like it was Finn's family's way of just giving up.
"Rachel?" Rachel heard her dads call.
Rachel went downstairs in her black dress. She saw her dads in black suits. "We should get going now," LeRoy said.
"Okay," Rachel said. She followed her dads into the car as they drove to the funeral home. Rachel didn't talk on the way to the funeral home. She couldn't stop thinking about Finn. What if he really was dead? She'd never gotten a chance to tell him how much she loved him and how sorry she was about everything that happened. He could have died thinking that she didn't care about him anymore.
"You don't have to keep holding it all in," Hiram said from the driver's seat. "You can get upset and cry today if you want."
Rachel decided to ask her dads the question she'd been wondering. "Do you think Finn really is dead?"
Rachel's dads looked at each other. "Rachel, we know how hard this is for you, but if Finn was alive, he probably would have been found by now," LeRoy said.
Rachel's dads had a point. "I don't know what I'm going to do with myself now," Rachel sighed.
The car pulled into the funeral home's parking lot. Rachel followed her dads inside, where Rachel saw the other glee girls from her first year of glee talking. "Hey," Mercedes said, giving Rachel a hug.
"Hey guys," Rachel said.
"How are you doing?" Tina asked, hugging Rachel.
Rachel shrugged. "I'm hanging in there."
Santana gave Rachel a hug. "Well, we're all here for you."
"You guys don't need to worry about me so much," Rachel said. "We weren't together..."
"Yeah, but you loved him and he loved you," Quinn said. "You made him so happy. Even when I was with him, I knew he loved you."
"I did my best," Rachel said.
"Well, he was always happy with you," Brittany said.
The girls came together for a group hug when Puck came over. "Hey Rachel."
"Hi Noah," Rachel said.
Puck looked at the ground. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry that I let Finn leave the dorm that night."
"Hey, don't worry about it," Rachel said. "You didn't know what was going to happen."
"I know, but I still feel bad," Puck admitted. "If I hadn't let Finn go to CVS, he'd still be here."
"You can't blame yourself," Quinn told Puck "Blame those people who killed Finn."
"I can't believe they're saying they didn't do it," Santana snapped. "I mean, the knife was at their house! What more proof do we need?"
The others were believing Finn really was dead now. Maybe there was no way around it. Mr. Schue came over to Puck and the girls. "Guys, we're going to get started now."
"Okay," Rachel sighed. She didn't want to be here. She wanted to be out looking for Finn. But if everyone else was giving up - maybe she should too.
Rachel sat with her dads as the funeral director began speaking about Finn's life. Rachel was relieved that the murder wasn't mentioned at all. Well, the potential murder. What should she say? Whatever it was, she was glad that the funeral director wasn't talking about Finn's disappearance. It had been all over the newspapers lately, and whenever anyone heard the name Finn Hudson, they'd probably think of the boy who'd gone missing.
Photos of Finn through the years were all over the room, as well as flowers. However, there was one major difference between this funeral and others Rachel had been to: there was no body, no coffin.
Rachel's thoughts were interrupted when the funeral director asked for Finn's family members and friends to come and share their memories. Rachel struggled to think of the perfect thing to say, but Carole went up first. "Thank you for coming here today," Carole said. "All of you. It's nice to look around this room and see that Finn was loved by so many." Not only had the entire New Directions Class of 2012 returned, but some of Finn's former teammates from sports had come as well, and so had some of his friends from college. "I was so blessed to be Finn's mom. The past nineteen years of my life were the best I possibly could have asked for, because I had him with me. I was so proud of him, and I don't know if I can think of the right words to describe him. I remember once when he was little, I had to leave for a week and left him with one of my friends. My plane got delayed and I felt so bad. I didn't get back in until about three in the morning. But little Finn was there, in my friend's living room, staying up waiting for me. I told him he could have gone to bed and he said he didn't want to go to bed, he wanted to be up when I got home, because he missed me so much. I don't know if Finn remembered that, but I always will. It showed how much he loved his mom, and I know he loved all of you, too. And now we're the ones missing him."
Rachel had never heard that story before, but it made her tear up. She'd been waiting for Finn all week. Carole continued talking for a little more before Kurt came up to the podium. "Hi," Kurt said. "I'm Kurt Hummel. For those of you who don't know, I'm Finn's stepbrother. But I don't think the step is necessary because Finn was my brother in every nonbiological way. We met early on in high school and I had a crush on him when I first met him because he stopped another student from being mean to me. We bonded my sophomore year when we both joined glee club, and I set up our parents. I'm so glad we ended up becoming brothers because I wouldn't want anyone else for a brother. I have so many good memories of Finn, but my personal favorites have to be the time when it was Lady Gaga week in glee club and some students were picking on me for my costume, and then he showed up dressed in a Gaga costume made out of a shower curtain to stand up for me... there was also the time at our parents' wedding when he sang a song to me about how amazing he thought I was. Little did he know, he was the amazing one. I'm going to miss him every day of my life."
Rachel was crying at this point when she decided to stand up. "Hi." She tried to think of the right things to say. "I'm Rachel Berry and I dated Finn when we were in high school. It's hard to think of the right thing to say about Finn... but he changed me so much for the better. No matter what, I always knew that I was loved when I was with him. Whenever someone else had something to say about me, Finn found a way to make me feel better. Before I met Finn, I was a crazy Broadway obsessed girl who was loud and obsessed over my talent. Then I met Finn and I became more than that. He always made everyone feel good about themself and he was always there for all of us. He cared about the team, he was a great athlete, a great singer, a great drummer... he was so amazing. I don't think there's anyone out there in the world as beautiful as Finn, both inside and out. I love you so much, Finn. I'm so sorry this is how it had to end."
Rachel sat down and cried as a few more people spoke. Maybe there was no point in pretending that Finn was still alive somewhere. No one was able to find anything. There was no sign of him. He must really be gone.
After some more speakers, the funeral director stepped up to the podium. "Finn's family told me that the glee club he belonged to in high school had a song prepared, so if they can come up here now..."
Rachel hadn't sang with the glee club since graduation. And it would feel so wrong to be up there singing with the glee club without Finn. The current members would be singing with the graduates for the first time, but it still wasn't going to feel right without Finn there. The glee club had asked Rachel if she wanted to sing the female solo in the song she'd selected, but Rachel didn't feel like she could, so she asked Mercedes to sing the solo instead.
The glee club took the podium as the music began. This was only the first song without Finn, and sadly, it wouldn't be the last.
New Directions and alumni: Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets
In midnights, in cups of coffee
In inches, in miles
In laughter, in strife
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?
How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Mercedes: Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
The life of a woman or a man?
Santana: In truths that she learned
Kurt: Or in times that he cried
Puck: In bridges he burned
Tina: Or the way that she died!
New Directions and alumni: It's time now
To sing out
Though the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love! (Mercedes: Oh, you've got to, you've got to remember the love)
Remember the love! (Mercedes: Share love, give love, spread-ead love)
Measure in love! (Mercedes: Measure, measure your life in love, ooh)
Seasons of love
Seasons of love
Mercedes: Measure your life, measure your life in love
x
The day after the service, the graduates returned back to their respective colleges. Rachel didn't want to go back to New York. She wanted to stay here and try to find Finn. But it was like her parents and Finn's parents had said, she had to get back to school. How was she going to focus on everything though? She didn't care about school right now. She just wanted to have answers about Finn.
