Detox
A Star Trek: Voyager fanfiction by Andrew J. Talon
DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation et al are the property of CBS Television, Paramount and the creation of Gene Roddenberry. Please support the official release.
The external hull plating had taken a beating, and so Vorik and B'Elanna were out, along with several other engineers, to replace it a sheet at a time. A bit of Borg fabrication tech courtesy of Seven was speeding it up, but it was still slow going. B'Elanna knelt down on the hull, the magnetic lock systems in her spacesuit keeping her attached to it.
"All right Vorik, hand over the next few plates," B'Elanna said over the comm. The Vulcan complied, moving the stack of plates over to the chief engineer. She used the plasma cutter to detach the old plate, and moved it over out of the way. Vorik took hold of it and attached it to a magnetic clamp, which was holding about two dozen additional old hull plates they would recycle in the replicator system. She took a new plate from a similar magnetic clamp on her right side, and slid it into place before applying the gamma welder to it. She tapped it, and then nodded in satisfaction at the vibration response. She looked over at Vorik. The Vulcan looked up at her through the faceplate of his own spacesuit and nodded back as he checked his tricorder.
"Hard seal confirmed. Plate 342-A is secure. Moving on to Plate 342-B," he noted.
"Good," B'Elanna sighed. She moved to the next plate, and knelt down to begin cutting it away. "That's about... Half-way done, correct?"
"Actually, we have fifty-four percent of the plating done," Vorik reported. "We are ahead of schedule."
"Good to know," B'Elanna said. She sighed. "Honestly, I'm amazed we've lasted this long."
"I too am... Astonished that we survived while being so impaired," Vorik concurred. B'Elanna looked over at Vorik, smirking a bit as she removed the plate.
"Astonishment? I didn't think Vulcans expressed that feeling."
"Vulcans are capable of expressing many feelings, we simply choose not to," Vorik said, checking his tricorder as B'Elanna finished her weld. "Except when it is appropriate. Plate 342-B is secure. Moving on to Plate 342-C."
B'Elanna walked across the hull to the next plate, taking a moment to appreciate the view she got of Voyager's port nacelle, "below" her. The hatch for the warp core release was several meters away along the hull. And below them, the asteroid field they were in was a brilliant lightshow thanks to the sun in the system. Each asteroid rotated and moved, just fast enough they almost twinkled. It was like having diamonds strewn across a black tablecloth, and B'Elanna allowed herself to be moved by it. It was still beautiful... Even without those damned Talaxian pheromones.
"For instance," Vorik said, as B'Elanna began cutting the next plate free, "I wish to express remorse for that incident-"
"Vorik, you don't have to-" B'Elanna tried, but Vorik's intense stare through his faceplate stopped her. The Vulcan continued.
"I wish to express remorse... And my sincerest apologies," Vorik said. "That you tolerate my presence and promoted me speaks to your ability to control your emotions and make logical decisions. It is deeply admirable."
"Well, thanks Vorik, but I... I got over that a long time ago," B'Elanna said. "The truth is, you are a good engineer. And I trust you when it comes to that. And ya know, those were... Mitigating circumstances," she said carefully, not wanting to embarrass Vorik with the p-word. The Vulcan nodded.
"Yes. However, I still bore responsibility for it-"
"And I bare responsibility when I lose my temper, but due to... Well..." B'Elanna sighed. "Due to my... My nature, sometimes I just don't have any control over it. And sometimes..."
"You worry that others will reject your dual nature," Vorik ascertained. B'Elanna looked away, and pulled the hull plate free. Vulcans did not wince, but Vorik felt like doing so. A silent B'Elanna was worse than a yelling one. "I apologize. I did not mean-"
"We've got five more hull plates to replace for this section. I think we should get on with it, don't you?" B'Elanna asked tightly, as she slid the new one into place and began gamma welding.
"... Plate 342-C is secure. Moving on to Plate 342-D..." Vorik dutifully stated.
Chakotay entered the Captain's Ready Room to a bit of a surprise. Janeway's desk and coffee table were all covered in mugs, of at least fifty different varieties. "Katheryn?"
"Oh! Come in, Chakotay," Janeway said, sorting through some additional mugs in a bulkhead panel. The first officer raised an eyebrow as he beheld his captain sorting through them. Janeway rose and shook her head.
"Can you believe we've picked up so many different mugs? I seem to have one for every planet we've visited in the last six years!" Janeway chuckled... And then held up a Borg themed one. She looked over at Chakotay in disbelief. "I can't remember where I found this one... Kind of morbid, isn't it?"
"A bit, yes," Chakotay said with a nod. "Then again, Borg cubes were popular for modeling for a few years after Wolf 359... And destruction at high school charity events."
"I remember," Janeway chuckled. She set the mug down, and sat down behind her desk. "What's up?"
"Well, between the internal and external repairs, Voyager will be ready to go in a few more days," Chakotay said. "A lot of the problems are from odd... Souvenirs, like your mugs."
"All right, exactly how odd are we talking?" Janeway asked.
Chakotay grimaced as he hit a button on his PADD. "At least fifteen varieties of jam, preserves, jelly and spreads were being held near the plasma coolant system. A lot of them ruptured and so we've had to clean all that out..."
Janeway felt her headache return.
"Tennis rackets in the airlocks... A 1932 Ford truck in Cargo Bay 4... A reproduction of Super Mario World on Deck 12, Section G-"
"Super Mario World?" Janeway asked. "Is that another twentieth century thing?"
"Yeah, one of the first digital entertainment systems, like a hologame," Chakotay said. He checked his notes. "Featuring Italian plumbers eating mushrooms to become stronger in order to fight a giant turtle who kidnapped a princess."
"... Well obviously," Janeway muttered. "Continue."
"Four nurseries for the Borg baby, of various designs," Chakotay continued, "A water park in Cargo Bay 5, the gravity generators on Desk 8 have been stuck on Luna setting for months, that mural Paris did on the ceiling of Cargo Bay 4, a tangerine tree or something like tangerines growing in a mound of dirt between deck plating on Deck 6..." Chakotay looked up at Janeway as she got up and went to the replicator.
Rather than using it though, she instead knelt down, opened the panel, and extracted a bottle of whiskey. She slowly walked around the desk, sat back down, opened it and poured a liberal amount of it into the Borg mug. She handed it to Chakotay... And then took a deep swig of the whiskey bottle herself.
"Katheryn...?" Chakotay tried. Janeway finally stopped chugging the bottle, and set it down. She looked across the desk at her first officer. "... You know, it may not be a good idea to go through them all at once-"
"Chakotay... Just... Continue, please," Janeway said. Chakotay nodded.
"... Before I do though... Just how much of that whiskey do you have squirreled away?"
"Probably not enough to get through your entire report," Janeway said honestly. Chakotay nodded.
"Understood... The gymnasium seems to be painted bright green, there's a still in main engineering-"
"Yeah, I think that's going to have to stay."
"Right. Hull plating from a shuttle craft welded into some kind of sculpture on Deck 9, looks a bit like a salt vampire, several boxes of Species 8472 plush toys in Crewman Anderson's quarters, a copy of the Federation Constitution blown up to large size stapled next to the galley with various modifications, and graffiti of all sorts..."
Harry Kim was at Ops, helping the coordination on the ship's repairs. Thankfully, most of what Voyager needed could be replicated, as far as hardware went. In terms of software, Harry was having to sort through mountains of errors in LCARs. Frankly he was amazed it wasn't more corrupted-The damn computer network had been functioning mainly on isolinear chips and gelatin for the past few years.
Voyager's maintenance software was at least working properly... Until he'd realized they were all modified with bad code and he had to rewrite them. He sighed and opened up the system mainframe.
Let's see... LCARs main library... Cluster 2254... Harry groaned aloud.
"Software errors bad, Harry?" Tom asked. Harry looked up, wearing a face filled with dread.
"You have no idea how many programming errors there are in this system alone. To say nothing of the Borg software language which is... Amazing in how insane it is," Harry said flatly. "Seriously! There are functions in this that would make your head explode."
"Well, they haven't taken over the ship yet, so good thing for us right?" Tom asked.
"They haven't taken over the ship yet because the programming has so many error messages it's a wonder they managed to connect at all," Harry said flatly. "I can barely understand it as is, which is good because otherwise the system might have decided we were drones that breath liquid methane."
Tom grinned.
"Now now Harry... I'm sure you'll get it. After all, you're now one of the foremost experts in Borg computing language."
"Yeah," Harry sighed.
"So to Seven, you're definitely a cunning-"
"Yeah, no, saw that coming a mile away Tom," Harry said dryly. "Gonna have to work harder at embarassing me."
"Aw man," Tom sighed. "The new, confident, 'bending Seven over her astrometrics console' Harry Kim is just not any fun at all!"
"How did-" Harry's face turned red, and he quickly buried himself in preventing a stack overflow. Tom just snickered.
"Then again, seems you've still got a few chinks in your armor," the pilot grinned. Harry mumbled in embarrassment and just focused on his work.
"Seven to Ensign Kim," Harry's commbadge spoke. Harry shot a deathglare at Tom, before hitting his commbadge.
"Kim here."
"Report to Astrometrics, Ensign. We require your assistance," Seven stated. Harry nodded, and set the ship's computer into a diagnostic cycle. Hopefully, his rewrites to the software and new programs would sort out most of the major errors and the rest could be handled by the standard maintenance software.
"I wonder what she could require assistance with," Paris commented. Harry scowled, and looked over to Tal Celes who was working on the environmental controls.
"Tal, take my post. I'll be right back," Harry said. Tal nodded, and scurried up to the Operations console. Harry left, and walked to the turbolift. He looked back, and raised his voice slightly.
"And if Lieutenant Paris gives you any trouble, mention the 'armor rash' in a loud voice over the ship's intercom," Harry said with an evil grin. Tom looked over his shoulder, shocked... And impressed as the turbolift doors shut.
A few moments later, Harry entered the Astrometrics lab. It was dark, save for the illumination provided by the main screen. Seven was at her console, typing away in one of her catsuits. Harry raised an eyebrow, and walked up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her. She relaxed slightly.
"You know, calling me away for private time like this won't look good to the Captain," Harry murmured in her ear. "I'm on duty."
"As am I," Seven replied with a soft sigh. "However, this is part of your duties."
"Oh? Is it?" Harry asked with a little grin, nuzzling Seven's neck and kissing it. Seven sighed softly.
Someone cleared their throat, and the lights went on. Harry started as he saw the Captain, Tuvok, Tom, Kes, B'Elanna and Lyndsy all around him.
"Surprise, Ensign!" Janeway said, walking up to Harry. She held up a box to him. "Or should I say..."
Harry took the box (reluctantly pulling away from Seven) and opened it. He blinked at the pip shining inside.
"Lieutenant Kim?" Janeway said with a smile. "With all the rights and privileges thereof?"
"Good work, Harry!" Tom said, slapping him on the back.
"About time, Starfleet," B'Elanna grinned. Tuvok nodded in respect, as Chakotay smiled and thumped him on the back on the other side. Seven kissed his cheek, as did a grinning Lyndsey. Kes clapped and hugged him tightly.
"Uh... We are sure I'm not hallucinating still, right?" Harry asked. Kes smiled and held up a hypospray.
"We brought the cure along just in case, since a few people have been having relapses," Kes said. Harry laughed... And noticed nobody else was.
"Wait, people have been?" Harry asked. Tom looked aside guiltily. B'Elanna sighed. The Captain and Commander rolled their eyes, and Tuvok was his usual, stoic Vulcan self. Lyndsy just grinned more widely. Seven shrugged.
"My Borg immune system has allowed me to filter out the last of the pheromones. I am in no danger of relapse," she said, pressing up against Harry as she held his arm. Harry smiled broadly.
"That's... Wow," he breathed.
"So romantic, it almost brought a tear to my eye," Tom said, faux sniffling.
"Aw... Reminds me of our prom date," Lyndsy said. "Only with less vomiting."
"You and she are never speaking," Harry said firmly, moving Seven away. The Blonde ex-Borg raised an eyebrow.
"I can obtain the information via other means," she said.
"Yeah, but I have to pretend I have some dignity in this relationship," Harry said.
"Keep dreaming, Starfleet!" B'Elanna laughed.
"Now, we can have a formal celebration later, once the ship is done," Janeway said with a smile. "But until then... Back to work, everyone."
"There is a problem in the Astrometrics Lab that needs resolution. I require Lieutenant Kim's assistance with it," Seven said... Squeezing his hand. Janeway saw this, and smirked wryly.
"I have no doubt you do... Resolve it off duty," she said glibly. Harry shuddered.
"This is worse than the salamander thing," Harry muttered. Tom sighed.
"Oh, you had to bring that up?"
Janeway sighed and rubbed her forehead, but there was a tired smile on her face as she looked over the reports. She looked up at the senior staff and several section heads, all in the conference room.
"I am very pleased with the work you have all put in," Janeway said with real pride in her voice. "Despite our impairment and despite everything we've gone through, Voyager is back into great shape."
"As a matter of fact, better shape," Lieutenant Commander Tuvok said. "In addition to the standard repairs, a layer of ablative armor has been added to all critical sections as well as retractable armor shutters on every viewport. Shield modifications have been added as well, and the torpedo production facility on Deck 12 is fully operational."
"Torpedo production...?" Janeway shook her head. "I wondered where we kept getting those..."
"The warp drive is back in working order, we'll be able to cruise at Warp 9 for at least a week thanks to some deflector modifications we took from the quantum slipstream drive," B'Elanna said eagerly, nodding to a beaming Seska and a rather pleased Seven and Icheb.
"Computer core is back to full operation, as are the ODN lines and the mainframe is back to shipyard settings," Lieutenant Harry Kim reported with a smile. "Had to rewrite half the OS but the bioneural gelpacks made it a lot easier. And we've got a third holodeck now, in Cargo Bay 3. We also got the holoprojectors on the outside of the hull working again with full options. Combined with our sensor countermeasures, and we've got a lot more options next time we run into trouble."
"The Borg illusion should be particularly effective," Seven said. Harry smiled at his girlfriend, and she allowed a slight smile back. Tom rolled his eyes. Honestly, they were so mushy it was kind of disgusting.
"Sickbay is in top condition... As usual," the Doctor said wryly. Kes grinned.
"As is the hydroponics bay..."
"And of course, Neelix is now back to work and the Hazard team is undergoing detox," Kes said brightly. "Lon Suder has requested to become part of them... When they're back to sanity."
"Back to sanity?" Chakotay muttered. Janeway smiled and nodded.
"I'll consider it... Tom?"
"Well..." Tom sighed. "We managed to put together some 'kits' for replacement shuttles and shuttlepods. The auxilary shuttlebay is going to be used as our garage. Still, we've got the Delta Flyer, Neelix's ship, and a smattering of other weird vessels we can utilize... Plus the Aeroshuttle."
"And speaking of Neelix... How exactly are you going to handle your new arrangements?" Janeway asked, turning to a figure in the back corner of the room. Neelix, in a spacesuit, managed a friendly wave.
"I've had worse, Captain!"
"I can imagine," Janeway said dryly. "It's just until we figure out a way to prevent relapses Neelix, I assure you."
"Hey, I'm fine," Neelix said brightly. "Makes it a bit harder to cook..."
"We'll work out a rotation for cooking, to make things more fair Neelix," Chakotay said. "Don't strain yourself too much."
"Aye sir," Neelix sighed.
"Well, with that all taken care of," Janeway said with a smile. "I'd say the Delta Quadrant is ready to see the sober Voyager in action..."
"I'm sure they can't wait," Tom said dryly.
"Oh come on, how bad could things out there be? Really?" Asked Harry with a bright smile. He slowly looked over at Kes... Who was smiling too. Her expression was slightly more strained. Seven raised an eyebrow. As did Tuvok.
"I take it the news will not be pleasant," Tuvok suggested. Kes shrugged and continued to smile.
"Ah, well... I have made a full report to the Captain."
"No you haven't," Janeway said flatly.
"I was working on it," Kes said. "In fact, I think I'll go do that right now! Oh, you're keeping the still in Main Engineering, right?"
"... It was a thought, yes," Janeway began. The Ocampan interrupted her a bit too loudly.
"GREAT! I... I mean... It will probably do just fine!" She moved out quickly, the doors sliding shut behind her with a loud swish in the quiet conference room. All eyes turned to Tuvok.
"She's your student," Janeway pointed out.
"I imagine she has things to teach all of us," the Vulcan stated dryly.
A few days later, once Voyager was out of the system, they began taking stock of the surrounding subspace chatter. At first, there was nothing particularly unusual. The local races had their standard entertainment channels, military bulletins, Borg Forecast Warnings, diplomatic overtures and mail order bride deliveries. Fairly common across the galaxy, actually.
All seemed to be clear sailing for them. With everything else they'd learned about their past in the Delta Quadrant, getting out of the area was probably for the best.
Then one duty shift, the captain's Ready Room chime rang. Janeway looked up from her PADD.
"Come in," she said. The doors parted and Chakotay walked in. "Commander?"
"Good news and bad news... Which would you prefer first?" Chakotay asked. Janeway sighed.
"Let's try good news. Soften the blow of the bad news. Go on."
Chakotay smiled. "We've found an M-class planet only two days away where we can resupply, maybe even take shore leave."
"Probably a good idea," Janeway said with a nod. "And the bad?"
"Apparently the bounty is a bit more thorough than we thought," he said, handing her his own PADD. Janeway took it up and stared at the screen.
"Individual bounties?" Janeway asked in disbelief. "How did they possibly get all this information?"
"We were rather free with it everywhere we stopped," Chakotay observed. "And of course... Some of it is a bit fanciful."
"Captain Kathryn Janeway, notorious captain of USS Voyager,, aka Captain of Doom," Janeway read. "Wanted for salvage rights violations, terrorism, destruction of public property, fraud, identity theft, Borg provocation..."
"It starts rather respectable, for a wanted poster," Chakotay said. "But further down the line it gets... Weird."
"Kidnapping, loitering, salvage of Borg vessels without a license, smuggling, impersonation of a priest of the Church of Lights, child endangerment, adult endangerment, jaywalking, illegal use of a subspace corridor, illegal salvage of Borg vessels, aiding and abetting an enemy of the Krenim Imperium, aiding and abetting an enemy of the Malon, aiding and abetting an enemy of the Hirogen, grand theft starship-"
"Wait wait wait," Janeway said, raising her hand to stop Chakotay's recitation. "All of this is just for me?"
Chakotay checked his PADD. "Technically, these are general accusations against Voyager. There are specific bounties for every one of the senior crew and bounties for the Hazard Team," he said. He handed over the PADD, and Janeway took it. She raised an eyebrow.
"... Shall I call the crew meeting, or will you?" Asked Chakotay. Janeway sighed, and waved her hand.
"I suppose they do all deserve to know..."
"We seem to be having a lot of meetings in this room lately," Tom commented, as he and Harry shuffled in. Harry in particular looked rather unhappy, taking his seat with a grumble. Seven too looked a bit annoyed. Janeway looked between them.
"... Am I missing something?" She asked.
"No captain," Harry said tightly.
"You interrupted our attempt to become intimate, again," Seven stated in a flat tone. "This is the third such time it has occurred."
"Oh? Where were you doing it this time?" B'Elanna asked sarcastically, as Harry coughed and became very interested in his PADD. "The shuttle bay? The hydroponics bay?"
"Not the hydroponics bay," Kes said. "For once."
"Geez Harry!" Tom whistled. "You've making me look absolutely respectable."
"As interesting as this conversation is," Tuvok said in a tight tone, "perhaps the captain can speak to the reason we all are here. Again."
Neelix was still in his spacesuit, and his comms had burnt out. However, nobody had the will to tell the Talaxian as he spoke excitedly... And silently.
"Yes, of course," Janeway said. "I thought you'd like to know we're... Wanted."
"Wanted?" The Doctor asked. "In what way?"
"That way," Janeway said, hitting a control. The main screen turned on, and a picture of Janeway's face appeared with alien lettering prominent above and below it. The script changed into English letters.
Captain Kathryn Janeway
AKA "Captain Crunch", "Doombringer", "Empress of Woe"
[REDACTED] Years Old
Homeworld: Earth
Her Phaser Rifle is named Betsy
Weakness: Coffee
Wanted for: Alliance with the Borg, Piracy, Terrorism, Illegal use of a Tennis Racket.
Bounty: 50,000,000 Units of Dilithium
"We've got wanted posters? We have bounties?" Tom asked with a grin.
"Stop sounding so proud about that!" B'Elanna shouted.
"It looks a lot better than the wanted posters we had back in the Alpha Quadrant," Chakotay said.
"There's one for all of us?" Kes asked. Janeway nodded.
"Yes, including you Kes."
"Recognition at last!" Kes said cheerfully. She grabbed Janeway's PADD and read it. She scowled. "What?! My bounty's lower than yours?!"
"Kind of hard to beat the alliance with the Borg," Janeway said wryly. "And this isn't a popularity contest, this is something serious-"
"WHAT?! How can your bounty be so much higher than mine?!" B'Elanna demanded of Seven. Seven eyed the engineer with a cold expression.
"Resistance is futile. Clearly I am a far greater threat to the Delta Quadrant than you are."
"Like hell you are! I totaled loads of civilizations before you showed up!" B'Elanna shouted.
"She's right about that," Tom said.
"Stop helping Tom!"
"Yes, she really is a walking disaster area," the Doctor said. "Take it from me."
"You too!"
The captain gaped in disbelief... And couldn't help a bit of laughter. Tuvok sighed.
"Not entirely unexpected," the tactical officer observed.
"We're in agreement," Chakotay said with a chuckle.
The bounties are covered in full next chapter.
