Aizen was holding a meeting of the Espada. He sat with his hands in his lap, still shaking and slightly traumatized from the butterfly incident. "T-today we will b-be talking ab-bout..." He trailed off, sighing. "Gin, w-would you pleas-se brief them f-for me?"

"Sure thing, Aizen-sama! Well, you all came here ta protest 'bout that lady Orihime's cooking, didn't ya?" The Espada all nodded their heads. Gin's smile suddenly disappeared.

"Well, I got bad news for ya. Unless one of y'all," he pointed at them, "are willing ta cook lunch fer us every day, that lovely lady Orihime will continue to cook fer us, that clear?"

Grimmjow raised a hand. "Objection! What if we just go back to the way it was before, with no lunches?"

"Objection!" Yammi pounded his fist on the table. "I would get hungry!"

"Well of course you would, big lump of fat!" Nnoitra shouted at him.

"I'd get hungry as well..." Starrk became conscious long enough to voice his opinion, then fell back asleep.

"Though how he gets hungry with never even moving a muscle, I don't know!" Grimmjow was very, very angry. "Whatever you say, I am NOT eating her cooking again! She turned me into a—into a—" He sniffled, wiping his eyes. "A Chinese cat eater! And made Mister Whiskers into food!"

"He was dead anyways!"

"You shut up! He was not!"

The room burst into arguing, the Espada practically climbing all over the table to get their point across. Halibel and Aaroniero sat back from the fight, having no opinion on the subject, and Starrk just continued to sleep.

Finally, Gin clapped three times and slightly opened his eyes, giving all the Espada a miniature Glare. Everyone froze, then shamefully retreated back to their seats.
"Now everyone, let's settle this like civil Arrancar now, shall we? Not like barbarians?" He smiled a sinister grin that made them tremble in their designer undies—er, shoes. "Now..."


Not knowing of their discussion, Orihime was in the kitchen, making...something. "Uh...since Ulquiorra-kun recently went to buy food, I can make so much!...What should I make, what should I make?..." She stared at all the food in the refrigerator, thinking...

"Orihime-chaaaaaan!" Gin floated into the kitchen, interrupting her thought process. "Ya don't need ta make lunch today! Or tomorrow, or the next day! In fact, y'don't need ta make lunch anymore, ever!" He beamed happily at her, surrounded by bubbles and glitter.

"..." "..." "..." Orihime stared at him uncomprehendingly, blinking several times. "Is it because they don't like my food?..." she asked with a wobbly lip.

"Ahhh...uhhhh..." Uncertainly, Gin reached through the door, pulling a half-asleep Starrk into the kitchen. "No, no! It's just that...uhhh...Aizen-sama wants...the Espada to, uhh, to learn some domestic skills! Yeah, that's it!"

"Oh, that's fine then!" Orihime smiled sunnily at Gin's bad poker face. "Now I finally have time to read that book everyone's been talking about, what was it called again?...Fifty Shades of...uh..."

Gin tried to keep his eyes from popping out of his head, shoving Starrk away further into the kitchen where he promptly fell asleep, head in the sink. "Grey? Fifty Shades of Grey?"

"Yeah, that's it!" Smiling happily, Orihime flounced out of the room. "Have fun cooking, Starrk!"

Gin glanced at the sleeping Primera. "Yeh...like any cooking's gonna happen with him in 'ere..."

Several hours later, Orihime looked up from her book, sniffing the air. "What's burning?..."

A bit after that, Starrk was found sleeping unhurt in the burned-down remains of the kitchen, snoring peacefully.

Needless to say, none of the Espada had any lunch that day.


Ooooohhh, Orihime, you pervert...xD And as for Orihime not making food anymore...uh...*whispers* I got tired of making her make weird lunch meals *sweatdrop*
I don't believe I've mentioned this before, have I?...Chapters 1-10 are already written out, and are on my deviantART account, first one is here art/Food-1-Nnoitra-s-a-Cannibal-315979777 ...

*bows herself out like a Canadian*