This wasn't supposed to happen when she was with Chloe. This wasn't supposed to be at all. Still, there she was, completely awake, sweat dripping down her forehead, eyes frantically searching through the thick darkness for something to lock gaze with. Chloe was fast asleep, her legs knotted with hers, one of her arm draped over her stomach. She was in a peaceful place; Beca could hear it in the constant and calm rhythm of her heart beating in contrast with the fast and uneasy pace of hers.
Slowly, she tried to untangle her body from Chloe's but the redhead clutched at her t-shirt tighter and Beca sighed. There was no way she could get out of this tricky position without waking her up.
They had decided ― or more like Chloe had decided ― to share a bed once again, since it felt so comfortable cuddling with the other. At least, that's what the ginger had pretended when she had thrown her leg over Beca's and slid an arm around her waist, her head already resting in the crook of her neck. Beca had stiffened, but relaxed minutes later upon feeling Chloe's breath slow down and deepen. She had fallen asleep not long after that, a smile still tugging at the corner of her lips as she replayed their evening together.
After a moment of silence by the lake, Chloe had shivered and Beca suggested they went back to the campfire with the others, to what the redhead agreed. So they arrived by Aubrey's side minutes later, and it felt slightly awkward for the two of them, realizing just how intimate that shared moment had been between them. Things were easy around here Beca found out, though, and she quickly hoped in the joyful atmosphere and sang along the childish songs.
The monitors called it a night and the duo easily fell back in their tight little bubble, arms linked and whispering softly in the walk back to the dorm after saying goodnight to Aubrey. The brunette had been longing to have a moment alone with Chloe once again ever since their almost-kiss this morning, but she wasn't about to admit that, even to herself. A tingling sense of relief flooded through her when Chloe invited herself in Beca's bed though, and it was with a grin that she rolled her eyes at the redhead before opening her arms.
The way she was now sticky with sweat and shivering from the cold breeze was the main reason she had let Chloe in in the first place. She had foolishly thought that since the redhead seemed to care so much about her and made her feel so good whenever she was around, maybe if she was next to her at night she wouldn't wake up. Nightmares do not abide by the laws of logic, though, and there she was, wondering why she had those even months after the event happened.
"What are you thinking about?" Chloe asked in a low breath.
"What makes you think I'm thinking?" Beca retorted after the initial shock of her words had passed.
"You're stroking my back like your life depends on it." The redhead answered with a giggle.
"Sorry." Beca realized she, indeed, had been rubbing circles on her friend's back for the past half hour probably.
"So, what were you thinking about to feel so tense?"
"Nothing." Beca pressed her eyes shut, pushing away the guilt of lying to the ginger in the back of her mind.
"Haven't you learned that lying to me isn't working yet?" She stammered with a little sigh before snuggling a little closer, as if she was trying to wrap all of Beca's body in her tight embrace.
"It's just that you have a way of making me want to speak that is really disturbing." Beca complained half-heartedly.
"Then why don't you just talk to me, Beca." Chloe's voice was so soft and kind, the brunette wanted to spill everything right then and there, but she instead pressed her lips tight together and smiled apologetically.
"Maybe."
She didn't fall back asleep, but Chloe did, and just the sound of her heavy and steady breathing was calming her raw nerves.
Morning found Beca humming softly in Chloe's hair, dark circles making her bloodshot blue eyes stand out even more. The redhead stirred, groaning and moaning like she had just woken up from a thousand years of sleeping, which made Beca smile.
"Good morning, ogre." The brunette said, her hand tickling lightly Chloe's side, who twitched and rolled away.
"Not funny." She mumbled before using Beca's offending hand as a cloth to wipe her sleepy eyes.
"Hey, that's my hand, you got two, use your own." She exclaimed, gently yanking her member away, the feel of Chloe's soft skin under her fingers still burning.
They didn't hear the footsteps approaching their bed, but heard loud and clear Aubrey's voice call them out.
"You've known each other for like, what, a week? Not even that long, and you're already invading her bed. I thought we had that conversation years ago when you decided my mattress was more comfy than yours and decided to crash every night starting the first of the summer."
Chloe buried her face in Beca's side, making the brunette jump under the ticklish feeling. She shot a surprised look at the red mane hiding her friend's features, a smile hanging at one corner of her mouth.
"Oh so this isn't the first time you've forced yourself in another girl's bed, then." Beca joked, poking at Chloe's side.
"Before she tries to make you think otherwise, I am completely straight." Aubrey felt the need to clarify that right now, knowing her friend was holding the innocent kiss she had shared with another girl one year in summer camp against her to try to make her realize she wasn't straight.
Aubrey was, though, or at least she's never fallen for another girl, and she was quite the happy teenager with her boyfriend of two years. Beca nodded, her palm open and her other hand imitating the gesture of taking note of this info, making Aubrey smile.
"If I have to come and get the two of you out of bed every morning for the rest of the summer, I expect half of your bacon slices every time we get some for breakfast." Aubrey said, looking deadly serious.
"Nobody touches my bacon." Beca deadpanned, pushing Chloe away to get up.
She wasn't that passionate about bacon, but she did, however, miss last night's dinner and so her last meal had been at lunch the day before. Her stomach approved of Beca's affirmation with a loud and strong growl.
"Heard that? If I don't feed it in the next ten minutes it's going to eat me alive. So come on, move your butt." Beca pressed on, rolling Chloe to the edge of the bed, her body pushed agaisnt the railing.
The two other girls were still laughing lightly from Beca's reaction as they exited the dorm and watched the brunette grunt out of frustration at their purposedly slow pace. They finally reached the cafeteria, and sat down to eat breakfast, which wasn't bacon after all.
Aubrey left them to run to the stables since she was having her first horseback riding lessons of the summer, and she said her teammate, Jessica, was already there. She promised Chloe she would tell her everything about her new partner another time, and left without another word. The brunette asked what they were supposed to do this morning and Chloe grinned at her so wickedly it scared Beca a little.
"What is it? Spill it out, Chloe. I do not like your face right now." Beca stammered, trying to read past the slightly creepy (but still oh so cute) smile.
"We, my dear, are heading to the cooking tent. We're baking tonight's dessert!" Chloe's excited squeal startled Beca, who jumped in fear of an attack when the redhead grabbed her by the shoulders with an even wider grin.
"Oh my, please say you're kidding." Beca's jaw dropped when Chloe shook her head. "What, exactly, are we baking then?"
"Brownies and cookies and apple pies and all sorts of things! Every team gets a different dessert. Haven't you noticed how there's always a bunch of things you can choose from at dinner every night?" Chloe's light chatter stopped when she saw Beca's long face. "What's wrong?"
"The last time I was allowed in a kitchen, I almost set the house on fire. I was trying to boil water to make some pasta because I was hungry." Beca simply said, still trying to imagine herself in a kitchen.
"Seriously? How can you burn water?" Chloe's shocked expression only made the shorter girl feel even more like an idiot. "You were young though, I'm sure you're going to do better today!" She piped up, unable to believe Beca could actually burn water.
"Chloe, it was last year." Beca replied with an eye roll. "It wasn't water I burned, it was the oil bottle's cap that fell off and spilled oil everywhere on the burning red stove. It caught on fire really quick and I ran upstairs to get my..." she stopped in the middle of her sentence, the word stuck in her throat.
She swallowed down the hard lump that had instantly formed, gripping at her throat like a choke hold, but forced herself to say it out loud.
"... Dad, and we had to call nine one one because the fire had caught on the kitchen gloves lying beside.
"Oh my God!" Chloe's answer reassured Beca, and she seconded her first opinion that the redhead was more shocked at her story than at the fact she had struggled to say the word "dad" out loud with one good look over her face.
"Yeah, so, are you still up to let me in that kitchen?" She half heartedly chuckled.
"Well I'll let you in, but you're not getting anywhere near the stove or anything that involves some kind of experience. You'll...mix the ingredients and stuff like that." She quickly linked her arm with Beca's and started to walk towards the cooking area.
"You will regret this, I promise you will." Beca simply answered, smiling in spite of herself when she felt Chloe's comfortable touch.
The ginger did regret her choice of letting Beca in the kitchen, and no longer than five minutes after they started ― or more like tried to start ― the recipe for a special kind of blueberries and banana cupcakes. The shorter woman had managed to spread whipped eggs everywhere along with margarine (when it clearly said butter in the book) and sugar. Chloe kicked her out before the monitor did, and promised her to bring her a bit of cookie dough for her effort.
Beca didn't really mind not participating in the activity, because she had found that she was enjoying her time more when she wasn't actually doing any of the camp's activities. She had much more fun and felt much more comfortable when she was being alone or with Chloe, or even with Aubrey, than surrounded by all these other girls she didn't know and who didn't know her.
The brunette walked back to the dorm, where she spent the rest of the hour and a half of the cooking lesson trying to get back some of the sleep she deeply missed last night. It wasn't going to happen though, because her bed smelled of Chloe, and her eyes just wouldn't stop staring at the ceiling as she imagined all kinds of scenarios of what could happen if she, in fact, decided to tell everything to Chloe. Everything wasn't something she had talked to to anybody, except Henry, but they knew each other since kindergarden and even when she tried to hide something from him (like that time in fifth grade when his parents wanted to throw a surprise party for him and had let Beca in the secret but he had guessed everything with one look at her and she had ruined everything) he would know shortly after.
The boy had a way to get into her mind that left Beca feeling like a ghost; translucid and pierced by the light of truth. She sometimes hated that he knew her so well, because she was always afraid he'd get bored of her and simply walk away from her life. She realized that Chloe had the same effect on her: she could see through her with no effort, and maybe that's what frightened Beca the most. She didn't mind that her best friend could do that, because she knew nothing would ever happen between them since he was, well, a boy, but with Chloe, it felt different. So different that Beca didn't realize she was calling Henry until he answered.
"Hey babe, what's up?" This stupid nickname had stuck from that one time they decided to confuse the hell out of everybody at school and pretend to go out with each other for a week or so.
"I think I'm going to talk to her." She simply said, feeling slightly stupid.
"Talk to her?"
"Yeah, as in tell her about... everything."
"Everything?" he questioned, not sure his best friend hadn't hit her head somewhere.
"Well, I don't know, we'll see. She asks a lot of question, you know. It's like she knows there's something wrong with me..."
"There's nothing wrong with you babe. " He cut in, feeling her roll her eyes but smile.
"Okay, anyway. She already knows I can't sleep at night because my parents used to fight so loud it'd wake me up. But then, of course, she had to ask why it was still keeping me up at night if they weren't here. I almost told her about you know who, but I just couldn't. Do you think it's too soon? That I should, like, I don't know... wait?"
"Wait for what, Beca? You're not proposing to her, you're going to open up. I've been waiting my whole life for you to do that with somebody else than me! And by somebody else I mean a girl. I'm a dude, I don't know shit about girls, and you know that. I mean, I've been out with a few, you know that, but I could never understand like another girl, as much as I've tried, I just can't. I think you should talk to her. Say what you want to say, don't try to force it, and just let it happen."
His words slowly sank in, and she was on the edge of tears when, as usual, he made her smile.
"So, tell me, do you plan to kiss her before or after spilling your guts out to her?"
"Dude, I never said I was going to kiss her! I don't even know if she likes me like that!"
"Oh, so that last text you sent me was a lie? Let's see if I remember well... 'Dude, she almost kissed me' and then you added about a thousand exclamation points and properly spelled the words 'kissed me' with a hundred spaces between the letters."
"Okay, so maybe I do want to kiss her, but that doesn't mean I'm going to do so." Beca fidgeted with an invisible thread on her shirt, bitting her bottom lip down, holding back the latest information she had learned on the redhead.
"Spill it." Henry said, his tone excited.
"What?" Beca tried to act all innocent, like she wasn't actually burning to tell him, but he knew better and remained silent. "Okay, so, she may or may not have had a crush on a girl when she was fifteen. And she may or may not have kissed that girl. Repeatedly."
Beca was trying to hide the giant grin from her face. It got wiped away quickly when she rolled on her belly, her cellphone away from her ear to avoid being killed by Henry's shrill of excitement, and saw Chloe standing at the head of her bed.
"I'll call you back." She said swiftly, almost whispering the words before ending the call.
"Were you talking about me?" Chloe immediately asked, and Beca tried to decipher her features to see if she was mad, or hurt, or anything else but this blank expression that she couldn't read (not that she had ever been good at reading anything other than obvious feelings)
"Maybe." she tried cautiously.
"To whom?"
"Henry." She replied, used to say that name and have everybody know who she was talking about. "My best friend." she informed upon seeing Chloe's eyebrow flick up.
"Oh. Well, the cooking class was dismissed early, and I wanted to know if you wanted to go for a walk or something?"
Beca would've prefered a direct afront rather than this unknown and she gulped with difficutly, nodding her head. Chloe seemed to aknowledge her nervousness, and she smiled softly, placing a hand over Beca's shoulder.
"Don't worry, you'll explain later." She said before smirking wildly, making Beca's insides twist.
"I'd rather explain right now." She heard herself say, catching Chloe off guard.
"Go on." She replied, curious, a smile still tugging at her lips.
Beca took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
This is it, Beca. You can do this, come on! It's not like you have to confess you've killed somebody! Please, don't mess this up!
Slowly, she smiled at the redhead before sitting straight in her bed, patting the spot next to her.
"Maybe you should come up, this might take longer than you think." She said softly.
