I'm sorry for the wait. It took me a while to get this written because of writer's block
I would like to thank you all for your kind reviews and encouragement. :) I'm doing a lot better because of the amazing people (and reviewers of this story) in my life.
Enjoy and review. ;)
Azia's POV
It's my fault that Rye died. If I had gotten him to the Med Center sooner, he'd still be here.
My thoughts are obscure and repetitive, always revolving back to my brother being dead. I don't put much effort into doing anything else but staying to myself. No matter what anyone does in attempt to cheer me up, it never works. I force a smile and lie. While in my heart and head, I feel empty. Lost. Hollow. Dreadful. Despicable. I can't stand to see myself in the mirror. My reflection only reveals the world of emotions that I do my best to hide from everyone else. Unfortunately, I can't hide from me.
My parents are back home in 12 for three more weeks and I'm stuck here. I feel foolish for this, but I have a longing for my parents' comfort. It won't come though, not until they return.
I've been threatened with detention and expulsion at school. I don't show up for training. Finnick convinced Mayor Coin that I'm worse off than my mother in grief. He told me I will have to repeat a year because of my repeated absences unless I can get all my studies done on my own. At first, I was hesitant to jump back into something I love so much, learning, but I gradually became able enough to complete my daily assignments. Now, I drown myself in my work because, really, what else is there to do?
"It's been one week and she still won't leave her room." I recognize the voice as Finnick's. Since we arrived in 13, Finnick and Asher have become good friends. Finnick has attempted to talk to me many times, but it never works. I do admire his consistency, though.
I hear him sigh as Asher suggests he try talking to me again. The sound of his footsteps gets louder until they stop outside my room. The bedroom doors don't have locks, except for our parents' room, so he knocks. I remain silent, but he comes in anyway.
"Finnick!" I throw a pillow at him.
One moment I'm in a extreme melancholy state and the next I'm lashing out with pillows. My emotions are a roller coaster, for sure.
"Woah," he catches it and places down on the dresser. "Try not to injure me, I'm just here to talk."
"If a girl throws something at you, I think that's a big hint for you to leave." I scowl.
"You Mellark girls and your scowls. Listen, you and I both know that you can't be mad at anyone for more than a few seconds."
"Maybe I changed."
"I doubt it."
I pull the covers over my head. I feel a weight plop down on my bed. I don't want to talk to Finnick. He should leave, but he's stubborn. I think he's immune to my tactics anyway.
"Azia, you can't hide from the world forever."
"I can try."
"You have to talk about him. Keeping everything bottled up inside won't do you any good. And stop blaming yourself for it."
Why must Finnick Odair be a wellspring of wise words? Plus, he's very handsome, but it doesn't hypnotize me.
"You wouldn't understand anyway." No one would.
"I could try to if you tell me."
"Never."
"Never say never, Azia."
"I don't want to talk about it, Finnick."
"Fine, I will leave you alone, but I'll be back tomorrow."
"Of course you will."
"I'm serious. I will keep visiting you until you open up about it."
Without another word, he walks out of my room, closing the door behind him. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping that he won't return.
3 weeks later
Katniss' POV
Peeta and I are improving, not back to normal, but making progress. We are different than we were a month ago. We're stronger and closer. There are still times when the tears comes out of the blue, but Peeta is always there to hold me tight until the pain passes. I miss our kids so much and I'm glad I get to see them today. Calling them on the phone isn't the same as spending time with them. They are all we talked about the entire ride back to District 13.
As soon as we step off the hovercraft, we're greeted by Finnick.
"How are the kids?" Peeta asks.
"The first couple of weeks were hard on them, but they're getting better. They need their parents though, they seem so lost."
"Well, we have time to spend with them. Before we to attend war meetings"
"About that, the mayor would like to speak with Katniss today."
It's probably about my duties as the Mockingjay. Peeta and I had a long discussion about whether or not I should step down from that position. At first, I was more than willing to do so, but over time, I realized that somehow I'm important to the Rebellion being a success.
The reunion with our children is better than I imagined. After talking with them about how they're coping with Rye's passing, I felt closer to all of my kids and even Asher and Peeta bonded. Although I sense that Azia isn't doing any better since his death. I can tell in the way she fails to keep eye contact with anyone for more than a few seconds. I can see myself in my daughter and that hurts me more than anything. I don't talk much the entire time, Peeta is the one who's good with words.
Peeta has my hand in his the entire time, probably reading my mind because he squeezes my hand is reassurance every few minutes. I decide to stop being selfish and join in on the conversation, but that is when I notice Finnick looking around the cafeteria. He spots me and walks toward our table.
"I'm sorry to disrupt you guys, but you have a meeting with the Mayor." Finnick tells me.
After saying bye to the kids and kissing Peeta on the cheek, I follow Finnick down the vaguely familiar hallway.
The mayor is already in the conference room when I arrive. She glances at me and I walk over to her. Busy as always, she's looking over some status reports. Her eyes have dark circles under them and when she looks up at me, I see one thing. Despair. Being in a leadership position is a lonely thing. It's a lot of stress for just one person to handle, but the mayor never shows weakness, until now. Somehow, she must know what I'm thinking because her face instantly turns stern and rigid.
"Good afternoon, Mayor Coin," I say.
"Hello, Katniss," she smiles, "I hope the one month grieving period has given you time to heal."
"It has." I reply.
"Please take a seat, we have some matters to discuss." She pulls out a chair at the table and sits across from me. "I have good news and bad news. I'll start with the good news. Our insiders have informed us that the former President, Snow, is indeed dead. It appears that he died the day Hawthorne stepped into office."
"Do you know how Gale became president?"
"Snow had loyal followers, who held key positions during Paylor's term. Double agents. It wasn't too difficult for them to get him in there."
"Gale hated the Capitol. I don't understand why he would want to become President."
"No one is sure of that. My insiders have attempted to discover that, with no success. They only have theories."
"What kind of theories?" I ask.
"Hawthorne could have been brainwashed, threatened, beaten, or all three."
"Maybe something else too." I say.
"Well, the theories haven't been proven to be facts yet. Until then, we are continuing with our original plan: discharging units into the Districts. I am sending you, Peeta, and a few others to District 7 in six months" She looks at her watch, then back at me. "You will meet your team at training today."
I glance at the schedule tattooed on my arm. I'm late for training. "Don't worry, your instructor was informed that you would be late."
I'm glad that Finnick isn't present to escort me to training. I have a lot of things scrambled all over my head that I need to sort out.
If Peeta and I leave to District 7, what will happen to our children? Coin was withholding something from me that I can't figure out. I press the button on the elevator that takes me to the first level of District 13. I'm supposed to be in the weight room with my squad. I step out the elevator after tapping my fingers on the railing and avoid conversation with anyone. It takes five more minutes to get to the training area. The first person I see is Peeta, doing push ups. I'm about to go over to him when someone taps my shoulder. I don't have time to notice who is hugging me until after she pulls away.
"Katniss, I'm so glad that you and your family made it here okay."
I give her a formal salute, since she didn't give me the chance to do so before.
"Good afternoon. Lieutenant Montgomery."
I realize that one of the lines in this chapter is from a certain *cough Justin Bieber movie. I didn't do that on purpose. No offense to any fans, but his music annoys me and I'm sick of seeing life sized cardboard Biebers at the mall. Lol.
