"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." - Isoroku Yamamoto
"Sumi…"
That's not my name.
I heard the low, broken groan that came from my throat as I struggled to speak. Felt the rough vibration of my vocal chords and the way my lips cracked as I tried to open my mouth. My eyelids fluttered, eyes rolling as I attempted to open them.
An arm slid beneath my shoulders to lever me upright, my head flopped loosely on my neck before it found something solid to rest against. I groaned again when humid air slid over my skin and forced me to realise that I was naked. I tried to move my limbs but they were unresponsive, my groan settled into a low whine. Beneath my ear a voice rumbled but my scrambled brain couldn't decipher the words.
Something soft was pulled over my head, firm hands moved my arms then fabric settled over my body. I felt the hand came back to my face, fingertips trace over the curve of my cheek, brush the corner of my eye then skim the side of my head above my ear.
The light tough sent a shiver rattling down my spine. The muscles in my arms finally came online, twitching then curling over my chest protectively. The hand dropped away and this time when I attempted to open my eyes they obeyed, eyelids lifting as though under a heavy weight.
A face hovered over mine. I blinked to clear the fuzziness and stared at it blankly. He's really pretty. The thought prompted a weak frown and I blinked again, looking closer at the features filling my vision.
Black lashes framed a pair of light brown eyes. No, yellow….gold, they were gold. Defined eyebrows matched the colour of his eyelashes, but the hair falling across his brow was blonde. And wet. It clung to his forehead and cheeks in stringy clumps. I watched a bead of water travel along the edge of his jaw and drip off his stubbled chin then felt it plop gently against my neck.
His breath washed over my face and my eyes dragged back up to his mouth so I could watch in fascination as his lips moved over his teeth, only vaguely registering that his words tilted upward at the end as though asking a question. He looked so familiar. I could practically hear the rusty cogs of my brain creaking as they struggled to turn.
"Sumi..?"
Irritation stirred as that one hated word rose above the others and I felt my brow crease as memories began to shake loose and tumble inside my head. "Don't…" my voice slurred alarmingly and I concentrated on the workings of my lips and tongue as I struggled to finish the sentence, "...call me that." Jesus, why did my mouth feel like it was stuffed with cotton?
He drew back a little at my words, his expression showing a flicker of surprise before he smoothed out his features. We stared at each other for a few beats before he nodded, eyes moving between mine as he studied me carefully. "Okay."
Something about his blank expression had me staring back at him just intently, the way he'd removed any trace of emotion from his face seemed so familiar. The faint yet nagging feeling of recognition teased me.
I lifted my trembling hand towards him, his arm tightened around my shoulders just a little but he didn't draw away. His eyes narrowed when I slipped my hand beneath his hair to curl my palm around the side of his neck. A tattered memory floated to the surface, the sensation of my fingers burrowing through much rougher fur while hot breath scorched my neck a second before teeth sank into my shoulder. My heartbeat ramped up, unease spreading through my belly.
The pads of my fingertips skimmed over smooth skin, a gasp ripping from my throat when I found the raised circle of scar tissue roughly the size of a quarter right on the nape of his neck. A mark left by a mind control device. In my mind's eye I saw the boy in front of me fall to the floor in a convulsing heap, saw the blood that coated my hand. "Kin?" I tightened my grip. My head spun as I tried to put the pieces together but all I could dredge up was the aching feelings of fear and regret.
"My name is Amos." He was still watching me with that careful, guarded expression.
"Amos?" I said dumbly. My hand clasped the back of his neck, my fingertips tracing back and forth over the small patch of scar tissue there as I struggled to remember. "Your name is Amos." I tested the name, weighed it on my tongue.
He nodded once, reaching up slowly to grasp my forearm. Reluctantly I allowed him to tug my hand free from his neck, not resisting as he sat me upright then turned me by my upper arms so I was propped up against something firm but which also had a little give.
When he moved away I sucked in a few deep breaths, eyes rolling side to side as I took quick look around. We were in a huge space. I could make out an expanse of polished floor, a high ceiling and raised rows of seating on the far wall. A school gym? It was night, the patter of rain and distant roll of thunder coming from outside was enough to make me shudder. The high, narrow windows flashed with cold light and I flinched back against the stacked mats behind me.
This wasn't right. My head was pounding and my entire body felt entirely wrung out as if I'd just finished running a marathon. "What's going on?" I wrapped my arms around my torso and clenched my jaw to stop it from trembling. The air was heavy with humidity but I felt cold to my bones. My hair was wet just like his and I could feel a damp patch spreading down my back between my shoulder blades. "How did I get here?"
"What do you remember?"
I slid my gaze back to him to find he was now squatting beside my legs, his elbows resting on his knees. In the semi-dark his golden eyes glowed as they remained fixed on my face, I could feel his intense concentration like a physical presence.
"I…" I swallowed roughly, my head aching with the effort it took to concentrate. "I remember it being dark for a long time." One hand came up to press against the side of my head where the ache was coming from. "Everything is fuzzy," I cut off when my fingers dragged across smooth, bumpy skin where hair should have been. "What..?" Panic rose on swift wings as I traced the side of my head. The sensation was so dulled I could barely feel my own touch. A brilliant flash of pink burst across my vision and blanketed out the rest of the world.
"No. No no no no…" the words came out in jerky gasps as my throat began to close. Memories crashed over me from all sides until I couldn't catch my breath. Blood welling between my fingers and the dark marks around Leo's neck. Leaving Master Splinter all alone amidst the Kraang and the awful cries he'd made while he fought the Shredder. The panic on Donnie and Mikey's faces that had mirrored my own right before we'd been separated. The fear on Raph's face that was the last thing I'd seen before something had seared into the side of my head and the world had gone dark.
"NO!" I felt a hand grab my wrist and instinctively I fought, twisting sideways and kicking out. "Let me go!" My shriek echoed around the large, empty room.
"Calm down," my other wrist was caught and I yanked away, my breath sawing heavily in and out of my open mouth. I bent my knee then lashed out with my foot and he grunted as I caught him in the ribs. "Stop," I ignored his growled warning and drew my foot back to kick again, this time aiming for his crotch. "Stop."
He stood in one swift motion, pulling me up with him then shoving me backwards until I was pinned against the mats. He held my wrists trapped between us, his grip firm enough that I couldn't wiggle free or even turn my hands to scratch at him. I was forced to tilt my face to the side so I could breathe, my ear pressed to his chest and the top of my head neatly tucked under his chin. I tried to kick at him again, attempted to lift my thigh to drive it into his balls but he must have sensed the move coming because he pushed a leg between mine and pressed in tight. I was trapped.
I struggled within the grip of an overwhelming panic. With my arms and legs largely immobile all I could do was thrash in place while I alternated between snarls and grunts. He refused to budge, as solid as a rock and just as patient. I couldn't even turn my head to bite him. Slowly but surely the strength I'd found ebbed away and eventually I gave up, sagging against him in an exhausted, sweaty mess. Still he didn't move. Beneath my ear his heart beat a steady rhythm and I found myself focussing in on it as I matched the even draw of his breath.
"You're okay, you're safe." His words rumbled through his chest and vibrated against my cheek. I felt fresh tears well up behind my eyes and I sniffed hard, taking a shuddering breath before trying out my voice.
"What happened to me?" The words came out low and a little muffled within the small gap between his chest and the mats I was partially engulfed by.
He paused for a long time and I was sure the thump of his heart sped up a little in response to my question. Eventually he answered, "I'm not sure. By the time I found you it had already been a few days since you'd been hurt."
I absorbed the information with a frown. He sounded like he was weighing each word carefully. "What do you think happened to me?" I asked.
Again he took a few moments to answer and when he finally spoke his words were hesitant. He was definitely trying to tread carefully and a sudden fear of what he was about to say sent a bolt of renewed fear through me. "I think you were shot by a Kraang laser," he said softly, "I also think you fell off something high and hit your head on the way down. I know that you nearly died and it took a long time for you to...wake up."
The way he paused before finishing his sentence had me tensing again. "How long?"
"A few weeks."
"A few weeks?" I tried to lift my head to look at him but he still didn't budge and I gritted my teeth as I began wriggling anew against his hold. "I've been out of it for a few weeks?"
"Not exactly." I froze, dread pooling in my stomach. I waited for him to elaborate, each second feeling like an eternity as I hovered between being desperate for him to explain and wanting to hide from what came next. "More like a few months."
A few months. I could barely absorb the words. My body reacted to the news with a rush of physical symptoms as though trying to expel a virus. I went cold then hot, my stomach rolling so hard my whole torso clenched painfully. The pocket of space in front of my face seemed to close in and suddenly I felt like I was being suffocated between him and the stack of mats. A fresh wave of sweat popped out all over me and my chest heaved as I tried to suck in oxygen. The world swam sickeningly.
"Fuck."
I heard his voice as though from the other end of a long tunnel. A rush of cool air caused me to shiver as my skin went cold again and I realised he'd finally stepped back to give me room. He let go of my wrists and gripped my upper arms instead, steadying me when my knees threatened to buckle. All the fight had left me, my arms dangled uselessly by my sides as I gasped in shallow breaths.
"A few months." My lips were numb as I whispered the words, trying to grasp their weight. "A few months." The last time I'd seen Leo he'd been bleeding out. Was he alive?
I was vaguely aware of Kin...Amos…moving away. I sagged against the mats, trusting them to hold me up as my knees wobbled.
A few months.
Was Master Splinter okay? Or had the Shredder killed him too?
"Here." A bottle of water appeared under my nose and I stared at it uncomprehendingly before my eyes glazed over once more.
What had happened to Mikey and Donnie, had they made it to April's apartment? I remembered the burst of pink light and shuddered. I'd been standing on the roof when I'd been shot. Had Raph been shot too? He'd been right behind me.
I started to raise a hand to the side of my head again but once more my wrist was caught in a warm grip. "Drink." The bottle was pressed to my palm and I automatically grasped it, not resisting when he guided it to my lips.
April's apartment. That's where I had found Raph and Casey. The others had been planning to go there too. Maybe...maybe…
Water trickled down my throat and I felt the coolness of it fill my empty belly. My thirst hit me and I heard the crackle of plastic as my fingers tightened around the bottle. I drained it in four long swallows then gasped for breath, wiping dribbles of water from my chin as I looked to Amos.
"I have to find my friends."
He nodded as he took the bottle from me and replaced it with a small package. "Eat."
"They are at an apartment building near Chinatown." My stomach grumbled loudly as I took the granola bar. A few months a voice whispered in the back of my mind but I pushed it away and took a bite of food.
"I know it."
I paused in surprise. "What?" I asked around my mouthful.
He glanced at me briefly before turning his attention back to the bag in his hands, zipping it up and slinging it onto his back. "I've followed you there before." He hooked his thumbs into the straps and turned away, calling out over his shoulder as he went, "we've only got a few hours of dark left."
I shuffled my feet to follow him, frowning at his back. "Wait," I couldn't keep up in any sense, my brain and body felt like mush. I raised a hand to rub at the side of my head where it ached. "I don't understand any of this."
"I know," he paused by the open doors and waited for me, his broad shouldered frame silhouetted when another flash of lightning illuminated the outside landscape, a roll of thunder close on its heels. Beyond him the sheets of water fell thick and fast, promising a thorough soaking as soon as we ventured past the threshold. His hand found mine and the warm clasp of his fingers felt like the most natural thing it the world. "Ready?"
I lifted my chin to glance up at him from beneath my brow then turned my attention back to the deluge beating down outside. No. I didn't feel ready for any of this. A hard knot of anxiety had parked itself in my gut, insisting that I get back to April's apartment block immediately.
"Yeah," I whispered and together we stepped out into the rain.
We made our way through a world that completely consisted of shades of grey. Everything was shrouded by mist and falling rain and something about the landscape sparked a deep sense of foreboding and loneliness within me. I clung to Amos' hand the entire way, for some reason terrified of losing him, as if I'd turn and find he'd vanished into thin air.
For an eternity we darted from shadow to shadow as if we were weaving through dense enemy territory instead of a graveyard. Waves of intensity rolled off Amos with every step, and I got the impression he expected an attack at any moment. But New York was dead. Drained and dark and silent like an old corpse. We hadn't seen a single soul, not one sign of life. It was so surreal I started to wonder if I was dreaming.
Eventually we came to a street that looked familiar. The row of apartment buildings marched down the block and with the sight of them I could almost feel Leo's dead weight pressing against my back. I shivered at the memory. Amos led us towards the alley of the closest one but I tugged on his hand. He came to a stop immediately, looking down at me with a slightly raised eyebrow. I shook my head and pointed further down the street and he followed the line of my arm, pushing his lips into a thin line as he studied the dark street before nodding.
Minutes later we stepped into the narrow foyer of April's building, the door swinging shut behind us and cutting the noise of the storm outside. I tugged my hand free to wipe the water from my face then wrapped my arms around my torso, shivering slightly despite the humidity. My heart thudded against my ribs as I contemplated the flight of stairs ahead of us. April's flat was on the top floor on the far side of the building. A few months my brain whispered for the millionth time. I gritted my teeth, glancing at Amos who was watching me with hooded eyes, then took a deep breath before placing my foot on the first step.
Six flights later I was panting, my knees wobbling and black dots dancing at the edges of my vision. The air in the narrow, dark hallway was hot and stuffy, flavoured with the smells of old, rotting stuff. The door to April's apartment was just ahead, hanging open at a drunken angle. I moved towards it, sucking in lungfuls of fetid air as I went and using the wall as support. The thick wood was cracked down the middle, torn off one hinge and partially blocking the passage. I stepped around it, one hand reaching out to grasp the frame as I got a good look inside April's apartment.
The place was completely trashed, almost unrecognisable as the same place I'd been in briefly just hours...no, wait...months before. The ruined remains of the O'Neils furniture lay scattered about, a good portion buried under the ceiling which had come down in large chunks. I recognised the corner of the lounge peeking out from under a slab of plasterboard as the one Casey had set me down beside.
"No," I left the doorway, barely feeling the grit under my feet as I moved into the room. My horrified gaze darted back and forth, taking in the jumbled mess that used to be April's home. Smashed glass, splintered wood and crumbled brick was all that was left. Scorch marks littered every surface, too many to count. A flurry of wind lifted my hair from my forehead and I looked up numbly to see the long gaping hole that scarred the far wall. A barrage of laser bolts had come through those shattered windows and ripped this place apart. Kraang.
"No, no, no, no," I could hear myself moaning lowly. I took another step forward, broken shards punishing the soles of my feet as I searched. My eyes caught on a stained patch of floor and I hobbled towards it, falling to my knees to brush away the bits of rubble that covered it. The pool of blood had darkened to rust, the carpet fibres old and stiff beneath my fingers ...his arm, slack hand unfurled like a dead flower towards the ceiling, "he's half dead!"...
I lifted my head, a sob escaping me as I clambered to my feet. "Leo?" I tried to move further into the apartment but a pair of arms came around me to hold me in place. "Raph? Mikey! Donnie!" My voice broke on their names as I struggled to get away. I had to find them.
"There's no one here." Amos' voice was gruff in my ear.
I jerked against his hold. "They have to be, this was the meeting place!"
Amos' face came into view as he turned me, his golden eyes boring into mine. "There's no one here, there never has been."
I drew a shuddering breath, my fingers coming up to clutch fistfuls of his shirt. "then why did you bring me here?"
"You had to see for yourself, really see this time. Whoever you're looking for split a long time ago." His words were clipped and harsh.
My vision blurred with tears. "Fuck you," I rasped. "They wouldn't do that."
"I've followed you back here more times than I can count," his tone softened and I felt something begin to tear loose inside my chest. "We've sat on the rooftop across the street and kept watch for hours at a time. There's never been anything here, not a single sign."
My throat closed up so I shook my head in denial instead, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain. Tears tracked down my cheeks so I let my head fall forward to hide them, the thunk of my forehead hitting his collarbone resonating through my skull. "I'm sorry." The gruff gentleness of his voice crumbled the last of my resolve. A sob ripped from me, then another. I buried my face in his shirt to muffle them while I tried desperately to control my hitching breaths. My head spun with confusion and grief too big for me to get a grip on. "I want to go home." The words tripped out of me and I knew I sounded as lost and scared as I felt.
"Okay."
Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you liked the chapter :)
