Got a email that said i should cut it in half cuz it would be easier to read.


Dean laid on the bed his hand resting on his stomach and chest, the head phones on his head his eyes closed disappearing the lyrics and tones of his music. His body was burning for food but he ignored that feeling. If he wanted to eat he had to get out of the room which had become his sanctuary. Oddly Nathanael didn't barge into the room… he had left the room once to get some more music from his car.

It had been a freaking nightmare, they had stopped him refusing him access to his car. He had growled at them trying to fight them but he was weak hadn't eaten for days and was healing. Nathanael had barked "what's the meaning of this!" Dean had quickly moved behind Ivan that strangely enough stood up straight and proud.

"Music." He got out never looking at Nathanael but felt his eyes on him.

"Then get it." Dean got to his car taking the little box avoiding everyone. He had hurried in and to the room and closed his door when Nathanael had followed him. He half expected him to open the door but he never did. Since that he didn't go out, when he changed his music he could hear steps outside his door Nathanael walking back and forth.

Dean squeezed his eyes humming with the music, ignoring the growl in his stomach. Then there was a knock on the door, he pushed the head phones of Ian stood there, Dean looked at him questionly. "Get dressed, your seeing Tom."

"What? Why?"

"I don't know…" he said annoyed then looked at Dean sighing. "To say goodbye."

Dean glanced around him there was wolfs there he didn't recognized but could scent was from Nathanael's clan. He saw Tom and smiled weakly that got outside the car looking very pale "I'm so sorry." He blurred out.

"No Dean, its my… I should have known. Not are you someone's mate… but Nathanael's…" Tom looked around skittish. "You forget you know… the rules… just think this is a cool guy you bound become friends…" He trailed off. Dean nodded in agreement. He took a step closer but Tom stumbled back "I can't be near you."

"Can't we even shake hands goodbye?"

"No." Tom said. "I'm even surprised I'm alive… of the things you hear ya know… I owe you my life…"

"No you don't." Tom smiled tightly.

"Hey perhaps in another life."

"This is fucked up. This is not who I am." Dean said, "this… instinct… is more of a curse then a blessing."

"Dean this thing… that changed us… it changes people to the best… but people like us… that was free lived on the road never settling… it's a curse we live learn to live with. Try to compromise with your instinct for your own sake." Dean nodded his head he chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah I'll try." He offered the simple lie.

"No you will. Cuz we are survivors. Like roaches we don't evolve we adjust." Dean laughed and held his ribs as it cracked when he laughed. "You'll be fine." Tom promised him gently.

"You to."

"We'll meet again."

"I hope so." With that Tom left him Dean stood there watching the car leave a female walked towards him.

"I'm sorry we have to leave."

"Sure." Dean said watching the road with wanting and sadness before turning heading into the car.

Nathanael watched warily as the other jumped out of the car a few literal fled when they saw him. He saw Dean get out of the car looking down, he was nudged to go forward. Dean stumbled forward almost stopping time to time looking for an escape but there was non. Finally Dean was in front of him his head down slowly ever so slowly trying to sneak his way in with actually touching him. Nathanael put a hand on the doorpost stopping Dean he tilted his head to the side and Nathanael sniffed him deeply.

&

Dean chuckled lazy his fingers stroking the back of Nathanael's back and neck, Nathanael's nose deep buried in his skin "what do I smell like?" he asked hoarsely thick with sleep, feeling Nathanael almost breath in his skin. "Old motels and booze?" he asked grinning at Nathanael the peeked his head up.

"You smell… free."

-

He knew Tom and him never even touched that he could sense before Dean even got out the car, but Dean didn't know that. He loved Dean scent, it was a mix of wood, air a musky smell only males could have that was utterly Dean it was hard to explain in words. There like a second skin was his scent on Dean's skin. He growled at that. Tom should have known better. Dean flinched slamming into the door Nathanael pulled his had away and Dean fled inside.

Dean looked down at the carpet it was new, none of his blood on it, he glanced at the table it was new to so was his sheets that he bled on. "It was replaced today… like it?" he turned to face Raven.

"He's trying to turn back time."

Dean smiled sleepy feeling Nathanael nimble his neck and then bit him gently on the shoulder, he snuggled his body closer to Nathanael that was spooning him. He made a whiny sound when Nathanael moved away from his body but then came back and Dean moaned out loud.

¤

Nathanael waited just waited until Dean's hunger would take over, finally it did. He heard quiet steps, then hushed voices of Dean and Raven. Raven was objecting, "I'll hunt for you."

"I can't be in there forever."

"Sure about that?" there was silence then there was the quiet steps again and the close of the door. Nathanael got outside his room seeing Raven sit down, she wasn't hunting not getting food but sat there. Nathanael got inside Dean's room that looked startled at him but then got his posture.

"Nathanael." He greeted with a nod very coldly.

"You can hunt inside the grounds." Nathanael said in his most soothing voice, trying desperately for Dean to trust him again and not se him as some kind of monster. It stung every time in his body when Dean didn't look at him like he did before. With that twinkle of love and awe and that smile he always had when he looked at him.

"Who says I want to hunt?"

"Your stomach." Dean didn't even twitch a smile, "c'mon you have to eat your weak." Dean didn't even flinch at the word of weak, didn't argue with him not a thing. "You can die."

"Not hungry."

"You think you can starve yourself to death? Well that's wrong. Sooner or later… sooner your wolf in you will break free and hunt, so why suffer?" he stepped closer and Dean didn't move back didn't even flinch there was something in Dean's eyes. He didn't trust him for one bit as he stepped closer Dean growled.

The wolf was coming out, like a dog feeling threaten and afraid he growled. Dean was trying to scare him away but it was empty treat because Dean's wolf part couldn't hurt him. He stepped closer as predicted Dean's human shape was gone and Dean's wolf shape was in full force.

Dean had always been a beautiful wolf, pure white with eyes that could not be described in words. Dean growled at him again, showing his teeth his ears back. His body hunching down he was more scared then trying to scare him. Dean moved back, Nathanael backed him into the corner showing dominance until Dean was completely backed into the corner. Nathanael narrowed down his eyes and Dean quickly submissive laying down.

But his lip still twitched Nathanael growled rolling Dean to his back getting down on his knees a hand on Dean's chest that started to snarl afraid. Nathanael showed his teeth and Dean stopped his head down. Nathanael patted Dean's stomach, holding him still until Dean got the message. "Go and eat." He demanded, with his tail under his leg he tapped out the room.

¤

Dean growled fighting back Bruno, he was serious this was not one of those play fight. He bit hard Bruno making him bleed. There was a whine from Bruno but Dean didn't let go until Bruno surrendered completely. He let him go growling he growled at Raven that growled back showing her teeth at him. He leaped at her changing to his human body crashing the wolf down.

"Give them to me now!" he demanded.

"NO!" Raven growled back at him kicking him off easily. Dean fought her hard but she had years and years and years of experience it wasn't fair he wanted to scream. He got a hold of her neck pressing her down on the mud.

"Give them to me!"

"He'll find you."

"You can come with me." He offered. "I want you to come with me."

"No" she said kicking him off hard he hit the ground with a thud. He snarled at her angry and hurt, but mostly hurt over that she denied him. "I said no!" she shouted angry "get inside now!" she demanded.

"Never." He growled, "give me the keys now." He grunted as Ian jumped at him holding him down he felt Ivan on his other side holding him down. He changed back quickly getting away from their hold but as he changed so did they. The growled at him. Dean sniffed the air they were everywhere. They were in the woods. "Just give me the fucking keys, who cares!" he shouted standing up filthy.

Nathanael had left him, he had been in his room seeing him gone. He hadn't been allowed to hunt, they house arrested him. Finally he tried to escape they caught him locking him into the room. When he saw that they were moving his car he flipped out, he broke down the door going out finding out that Raven had the keys to his baby.

"We do!"

"Things go back as they were!" Dean snarled trying to reach for the keys.

"We don't want them to be! You're staying here!" Raven growled angry. "We will shut up about this, just go inside."

"No!"

"He will hurt you!"

"Exactly I'm leaving."

"Your eight hundred years are not up, even if you managed to get out of Nathanael's territory which is not likely. Others that are loyal to Nathanael will trap you and send you back. You have no place to go. Not even freaking Mexico he'll go there. Europe? Were do you think he lived before? You can flee to the most remote places he'll find you." Raven said harshly. Dean stumbled back defeated as she pushed him. "Go inside. No one will find out."

"Nathanael will find out." A voice chipped in. Dean's eyes went to the male voice. He didn't know him.

"No he wont." Ian growled he didn't expect that.

"He's our leader he needs to know if his mate tried to leave and that you wanted to shut up about it is bad! Very bad." Dean got up walking towards the man growling that flinched and submissive to him.

Dean sniffed the air, he frowned only a feet behind the man was a female, with blond hair and green eyes. He pushed the man beside that growled at him, he stood right in front of the girl. He sniffed her that froze, her cheeks pink. He could smell Nathanael's scent all over her. They shared bed… recently… he felt his heart twist in a knot, she had covered it… in mud… he stepped back. "When?" he demanded. Her head was down she didn't reply "what's your name."

" Tara."

" Tara…" he repeated, he gripped her chin in a firm grip without actually hurting her "when?" he asked again but this time more softly she looked into his eyes.

"Long time ago."

"Don't lie to me Tara, its fresh."

"No its not." She promised. But it was she had been with Nathanael recently, not sex but close to him. "I just saw him." She promised.

"Don't worry sweet heart, I won't kill you. You're my ticket out."

¤

Dean was roughly pushed on the bed, "you have to stop this dramatically scenes you're pulling off! You don't trust me, fine. You're angry with me, fine. That's fine." Nathanael roared at Dean that snarled at him.

"I hate you." Dean spat out.

"No you don't" Nathanael growled angry.

"Oh but I have every fucking reason to hate you. Not only do you behave like a fucked up jealous guy that hurt me that almost killed my friend that threatens me way to much, put boundaries. I was just to blind to se it before. They say that love is blind I never thought how blind. I mean you cheat on me but it's me that get's punished…"

"Excuse me…" his low voice and dangerous.

"You should just have chosen Tara, you should have known who I was when you meet me. You knew who I am. You broke me congrats." He clapped his hands. "You owe me."

"I don't owe you anything." Nathanael growled angry, Dean just kept pushing his buttons he had already a hard time controlling himself. He just wanted to grab the back of Dean's neck push him down until Dean submissive any other wolf would have given up a long time ago but Dean didn't if he grabbed Dean's neck. Dean would probably try to bit him and any chance any chance at all of them together would vanish and not even eight hundred years of kissing Dean's ass would change that.

"You do. I get it I died you gave me life, you own me for the next 800 years those are the rules. The thing is… I remember you telling me about the mate cheating I guess or know you can't be killed by this clan, or even how much I do hate you I don't want you dead. I think to set things straight I get to walk away from here. Be left alone." Nathanael laughed straight into Dean's face that narrowed down his eyes at him.

"Because of Tara?" he shook his head. Dean was acting very odd. Not in a nervous break down but more like… he cut all bounds to him not that that was a good thing. "I never cheated on you. I never slept with her after we mated."

"But before?" Dean asked it still freaking hurt, "If it had been me you'd my head!"

"It was when you left for those nine weeks." Nathanael snapped not denying the other part.

"Ah she kept my seat warm?"

"Something like that." He admitted. Dean nodded his head.

"I'm sorry." Nathanael frowned, he wasn't expecting that. "For twenty one years I've managed without you. I still do. I know everything changed that night. I know I should adjust. But I'm not that person. I'm free."

"The tighter I pull more you will try to escape." He murmured remembering Dean's brothers voice.

"Huh? The main point is I don't trust you." Dean propped himself up on his elbows. "I know I'm your mate now. But never be a equal to you." Dean moved further back on the bed. "Cuz I'm lower in the ladder. I'm sorry that you got stuck with me. I really am." Dean looked into Nathanael's eyes. "I'm sorry for thinking that I was more then I was. At least to you."

"Love is always something I've feared something I always denied. Until you. And I wish I denied you as well. I don't share my heart. I don't love. I'm a solder a hunter. That's who I am, that who you tried to break." Nathanael shook his head. "Male ego or not. Not even I'm that good in bed, are you trying to get a sex obeying sex doll? I'm not that person and will never be. You will fail with that even if you try 1000 of years."

"That's not why I want from you. What I want from you is you. I want you. All this… it can be fixed in time." Nathanael sat on the bed trying to reach out to Dean that darted his touch.

"Liar, time don't fix anything. You suppress it act like nothing but it will hunt you one way or another."

"We'll fix it." He promised. "Cuz you know since that night we meet we had a bound we were drawn to each other. You might hate me, but I don't hate you I still love you."

"Shut up" Nathanael nodded.

"Ok I will shut up. For now."

¤

It wasn't until everyone was gone leaving the original left, when Dean came down sitting with the others. Bruno was still angry with Dean that didn't give amends or even showed he was sorry. He sat next to Raven that was angry with him but after a look from Dean she stroked his hair. Nathanael bit back the retort. Raven wouldn't become a threat to him, she was far to loyal to him and close to Dean as a brother to ever cross that line.

Dean was brushing Raven's thick dark fur as she rolled her leg scratching in the air, her tong at her side. Dean smiled un-knotting the knots in the fur his hand pressed against her paw before kissing it. She rolled putting her head in his lap as he stroked it, he turned the TV on his fingers deep in her fur.

Nathanael entered the room, Dean looked at him slowly pulled his hand away, even if Dean was downstairs now he still wasn't comfortable around him. Nathanael wouldn't budge, he thought giving Dean time and room would make him come back but he didn't. So he guessed he just had to be there until Dean would forgive him.

He sat down close looking at the TV he wasn't much of watching a movies it never appealed to him but Dean… Dean changed that.

&

"Dude!" Nathanael looked up from his book worried at the very pale face

"What happened?" Nathanael asked standing up alarmed.

"I've looked everywhere! You don't have a stereo and don't a have a TV! What's wrong with you?" Nathanael scowled at him. "What kind of rich person don't have TV…" he shook his head "I don't even know you man." Nathanael wrinkled his forehead amused "I mean how do you miss the games? I mean even I that been on the road my entire time has watched the game!"

"You can't be serious." Nathanael puffed out in a chuckle amused. Somehow he got the image of Dean sitting on a motel bed screaming at a little tv.

"I mean how am I suppose to survive without music and TV?" he asked in disbelief. "Are you trying to kill me?" he asked serious.

"Don't be such a drama queen."

"I'm not… just saying…" Dean snickered.

"Fine we'll get some damn TV's but you owe me."

"What a blow job?" he grinned devilish.

-

After two old horror movies Dean started to relax around him, he leaned back at the sofa Raven had left them in the middle of the first one murmuring barbaric before leaving. It was only Dean and him left the others had sneaked out Dean hadn't noticed anything to focus by watching the movie.

Nathanael loved hearing Dean laugh, he heard him chuckle "look look" he said pointing at the TV. "Stupid, why do they always do that." He shook his head he moved in the sofa positioning him half laying down curled at the sofa. Nathanael still sat on the couch watching the old horror movie.

"I dunno Shakespeare at least…"

"You have not seen Shakespeare…"

"Saw his play in London years ago… it was a midnights dream."

"Yeah saw the movie once. Michelle Phifer…" he wiggled his eyebrows he turned around frowning "were are the others?"

"Seems like they couldn't stand seeing the movies for the hundred of time." He said with a smile.

"Hey they are classics!" he muttered about lacking intelligence to appreciate masterpieces of Hitchcock.

"Mmmm"

"You should get a pool table." Dean said never tearing his eyes from the TV "you kicked my ass in it and that's just wrong. When did you learn anyway?" Nathanael just wanted Dean to look at him even glance at him but he didn't.

"A few years back…"

"What is a few years for you?" Dean asked suddenly, "Shakespear been dead over…" he trailed off scratching his head, "at least hundred of years ago."

"Like ten." Nathanael said smiling.

"My dad taught me when I was eight."

"Really?"

"Yeah, he used to take me and Sammy to the pool tables, I didn't reach up so he would lift me up. Then later I would stand on a chair… good times." Dean said with a broad smile he stood up. "I'm going to bed. Se you later." Nathanael nodded and couldn't help but to feel like he won something.

¤

Dean was yawning his foot scratching his ear, Nathanael came in nudging him. Dean looked up surprised. Nathanael nudged him again signalling they were going out to hunt. Dean yawned as a reply Nathanael nudged him again and Dean stood up following him out to the woods. He followed Nathanael's lead sitting down yawning lazy as Nathanael traced their prey. Nathanael growled at him a little and Dean tip tapped towards him sniffing the trace.

Then laid down on the ground on his back showing his paw, Nathanael snorted. Nudging him again, but Dean yawned. Nathanael pressed their noses together licking his face making Dean jump a little startled not expecting that. Nathanael followed the trace feeling Dean follow him with a wiggling tail.

¤

It became easier to Dean to accept Nathanael close in his wolf shape because in that shape instinct was primal first. And those instinct said Nathanael was his mate. And Nathanael took every opportunity of that to be close, he offered Dean a leg knowing it was Dean's favourite. Dean was unsure but accepted even let him clean him after with a lazy wiggling tail. Dean sat down showing his other side, Nathanael would have grinned if he could, he licked Dean's other side of his mouth cleaning him from the blood.

Dean's tong came to its side laughing, Nathanael took the opportunity to groom Dean that stretched out on the ground rolling, as Nathanael groomed Dean's ribs he found the tickling spot Dean's leg went up trying to kick him off but at the same time urging him on. Nathanael changed letting his fingers dig in deeper. He chuckled the other hand stroking Dean's face. Talking smooth to Dean finding easily Dean's spots, that night Dean jumped on his bed laying close.

Nathanael woke up with a smile his hand thrown over Dean's body, draping him close. He snuggled into Dean's warm body breathing in his scent happily. Dean's fur poking into his nose, his tail wiggling lazy in his sleep. Nathanael murmured "I'm sorry Dean." How he regretted that night, he looked back in shame. He hurt the only person he ever loved with his body and soul.

He wanted to turn back time, but that wasn't possible all he could do was wait, wait until Dean would forgive him, until he would bring him back into his heart completely. You hurt the ones you love… he didn't only hurt Dean he wounded him in every single way. He had been so blind with anger, with rage and jealousy. The thought of Tom taking Dean away was something he couldn't bare, that anyone could. He should have known that Dean wouldn't do such a thing but it was him alone that drove Dean away.

He felt his eyes sting, "I'm so sorry Dean." He had done many things, many terrible things in his life things he didn't look back in regret but this… this… he shook his head. "I'm so sorry." He choked out almost sobbing.

Dean stirred hearing a choking sob, Nathanael whispering I'm so sorry. Dean felt his heart squeeze he closed his eyes tight. He changed into his human shape turning in Nathanael's embrace, he stroked away Nathanael's tears. He wanted to hug him say that everything would be okay. That it was okay… but it wasn't. Dean had seen what he could become, what stopped Nathanael to not become like that again?

"I'm sorry, I can't" he choked pulling away. He wouldn't become blind "I'm not going to be blind again." He said hoping Nathanael would understand that sat up looking straight into Dean's eyes his eyes red. Dean had never ever seen Nathanael cry not once, somehow he doubted Nathanael cried on a very very long time.

"Dean, please you can't just run away from me." Nathanael said his heart throbbing, tears falling down his cheeks, he felt so weak. "It wasn't like I asked for this! I never asked for love, never once. Then you…I wished wished that I didn't love you but I do. And I need you."

"Nathanael…"

"No you listen to me. I need you more then you need me. I haven't been alive in a very long long time. You make everything new and real, you make things beautiful."

"Don't start quoting Shakespeare to me." Dean said trying to be funny, Nathanael shook his head, "I get it. That night. Everyone told me how dangerous you were, I never listened because I thought to myself how could this beautiful man be se cruel? So dark? When he's everything that's beautiful in my eyes." He stroked Nathanael's cheek. "And somehow I think what I saw was nothing compared what your capable of." He moved away shaking his head.

"It wasn't the fact you threw me against the wall. Hell my dad kicked my ass million times. He hurt me to when he was drunk. What scared me that I was so blind and foolish not really seeing you. I'm use to pain… that's how I know I was alive, with you I felt alive and you never hurt me once. This pain you inflicted me with. Is a pain I can't deal with."

"I am so sorry Dean you have no idea…"

"I love you and I hate you. But I love you more. So… maybe in time."

"When you repress right?" Nathanael asked bitterly.

"Yeah."

"I don't want you to. Deal with it now. We can deal with it now."

"I'm not strong enough."

"Yes you are." Dean chuckled sadly looking into Nathanael's eyes. "What?"

"We should write a book about us."

"I think it would be me that would write your to lazy for that."

"Yeah… would wait for the movie." Nathanael smiled sadly offering his hand Dean clasped it.

¤

Dean kept on sleeping in their bed spending slowly more time with him, it was nice. But he was a male, a full blooded male and he had the man he loved next to him not be able to touch him like he use to. He felt frustrated annoyed snappy but tried to control the best he could, it didn't help that Dean would give away a thick aroma of arousal at nights.

Nathanael sat in the working room writing in his book when Dean came in.

Nathanael looked up to se Dean enter almost bouncing like a kid with a sugar rush. "Hey"

"Hey… what are you up to?" he asked amused grinned wide at Dean that walked towards him then came up behind him rubbing his shoulders.

"Nothing…" he sounded far too innocent.

"Mmm why can't I believe that?"

"Hey I'm… what are you writing? A journal? Diary? Dear Diary today I went to the woods…"

"It's a protocol, keeps me track in time as what we hunt if we hunt to much dear we stop and so on… the woods…" Dean snored faked. "Brat." Dean chuckled then popped his chin on Nathanael's shoulder.

"You know that… room… the ancient room Chinese…"

"Yeah…" Nathanael's face felt his face stiff.

"That yellow vase…"

"The vase a emperor gave to me 1100…"

"Exactly…that one sort of…"

"Please please say that you didn't break it!"

"No… I just…"

"What…"

"I lost it."

"You did what!" he growled. Dean backed away.

"Calm down… its somewhere… in the house… just… don't know… where…"

"Why the hell did you take it away from there."

"Just to se if you noticed which you didn't… I was bored… but now… I can't remember where I put it." Nathanael stood up pissed looking at Dean with narrowing eyes. "I'm sorry?" he asked weakly. Looking at him in that way…

"Dammit freckles! Just find it okay." He said softly Dean nodded his head, Dean just stood there "as in now."

"Oh" Dean bounced out scratching his head, "don't worry I find your vase." Nathanael snorted.

-

"Did you break something?" Nathanael asked softly looking up at Dean that entered the room dragging his feet's after him. He was obviously bored. "Where's Raven?" Dean pouted, "did se leave?" Dean sighed. "So Beevis misses Butthead." Nathanael said amused Dean wasn't he was literal pouting.

Nathanael wanted to kiss it away he tore his eyes from Dean's lips and looked down. Dean changed form going under the table laying down on his feet's with a sigh. Then another bored sigh. Nathanael felt his lip quirk up into a grin. Then another dramatic sigh and he laughed he looked down at Dean that looked up at him innocently.

He got up and Dean followed him, Nathanael settled down on the floor stroking Dean's fur. Nathanael grinned and changed form jumping on Dean wrestling him down. Dean's tail immediately wiggled happy. Dean was easy to please… for moment anyhow. He was a little kid sometimes, Nathanael would set him in front of the TV with candy pat his head and say stay there and be good. Three hours later he could return with the credit running and no Dean in sight, candy and his scent leaving a trail after him and he would caught Dean with something very expensive shaking it and Dean wondered why he had babysitter.

Panting Dean laid on the floor Nathanael nudged Dean's face, looking into his eyes before licking his nose nudging his face again. Dean's tail gave a wiggle giving the thumbs up that Nathanael was searching for, he mated with Dean, Dean started to move away Nathanael wouldn't let him go but mated with him the second time and a third time.

He changed to his human shape turning Dean that changed into his human shape, he breathed heavy his chest moving up and down. Nathanael looked into Dean's eyes stripping him down, Dean's eyes were in daze looking straight into his. Dean lifted his legs up, Nathanael gripped Dean's thigh guiding him into the position he wanted. Dean's thighs high his heel digging into his lower back. Nathanael loved how Dean's breath hitched, loved how Dean breathed under their acts.

He kissed Dean looking into Dean's eyes that didn't close his eyes, still not trusting him completely. Dean's hands where clutching the thick carpet instead of stroking or touching him or even hold on. Nathanael stroked his cheek against Dean's breathing out "I love you." Dean flinched under him his legs moving away from him still high like he didn't want to touch him more then needed. Nathanael could feel Dean's arousal knowing that he wanted him, he had given him the thumbs up that was not the problem. Dean just wanted that, the sex nothing more.

"I love you." He repeated pressing his forehead against Dean's kissing him gentle repeating those words until Dean relaxed until he stopped flinching at the words. Each time he meant it each time with feel and emotion you could not fake. "I love you." They reached closer to that point when their worlds collided into a perfect union. Dean's legs went around him so did his arms, kissing him greedy only breaking the kiss as he threw his head back knocking against the floor with a gasp as he came.

Dean panted loud closing his eyes, trying to control his breathing finding it hard to do so. Nathanael was busy with licking and leaving marks on his skin. But also doing another thing Dean never felt Nathanael do before. He was rubbing his body against him in another way, Nathanael's scent became intoxicating. Dean whimpered smelling the air with deep intakes, he felt his skin soaking into Nathanael's scent in a way it never had before.

A realization came to him, Nathanael was claiming him in a way he never done before, clearly saying to all other wolfs to back off. That he was claimed, this scent couldn't be covered in mud it would stay for years at least. Becoming his mate was already a back of sign but this… was deeper then so. He didn't understand it but allowed Nathanael to continue and some how he guessed even if he tried to push him away Nathanael would growl at him and continue anyway.

And there was no doubt in Dean's head that Nathanael would do this again, marking his scent on him that any wolf from miles away could smell that he was taken. Dean gave a big lick on Nathanael's cheek as he faced him. Their sweaty body tangled. "Shower." Nathanael nodded his head getting up. Dean scrambled with his cloths peeking his head out before making a dash for it. Nathanael took one arm around Dean bringing him closer to him as bringing him into their bedroom, the cloths dropped on the floor. Nathanael entered the shower bringing Dean with him that looked into his eyes the entire time. Nathanael kissed his lips gentle it was a kiss of a promise. A promise not to hurt him like that ever again. Dean claimed the kiss.

¤

Nathanael sniffed the air slowly opening the door, Dean was in his wolf shape his paws digging into the thick covers and pillows that dropped from the bed, his tail wiggling happy. "Dean what are you doing?" he asked amused. Dean jumped up turning towards him, his front body stretching his butt up in the air his tail wiggling fast. Nathanael stepped closer Dean barked before running out the room his tail wiggling.

Nathanael chuckled, walking towards the bed he threw off the cover and his brow crooked amused with a crooked grin. On the bed was a bone, the bone of the thigh of a dear. It was no secret Dean loved, loooved to chew on things. Nathanael had flipped when he saw that Dean in the beginning chewed on the leg of the table, but Dean had looked up at him with this puppy look. He couldn't stay mad but gave him a bone ever since that Dean had been addictive to them. The only time he ever used his position as his mate in the clan was when they hunted and Dean needed a new bone he would growl at them all rip the bone out before he made a dash for it wiggling his tail.

Dean was not a greedy man, not at all he shared always everything, but bones… now there he was greedy he had them hidden in his room. So why lay one of his favourite bones on the bed? Nathanael chuckled picking up the bone. It was a present to him he went to the window hearing Dean's barking as he messed with Ivan and Ian.

¤

Nathanael pulled his sock on Dean was laying on the floor looking very calm, resting. Nathanael pulled his other sock on when Dean crawled closer then in one quick move he grabbed the sock, nudging his face up so Nathanael could take it. But as he reached for it Dean jumped back. Nathanael chuckled, this was a game Dean loved to play tug was of the sock, once in Dean's room he found some of his socks under the bed. Even days when he was in a hurry or in a really bad mood Nathanael would play with Dean and especially now. Because it gave him bonus points in Dean's book.

Finally Dean let go of the sock running out Nathanael dressed and saw Dean holding up one of his old socks, he made a leap towards it but Dean ran away wiggling his tail happy. Nathanael changed shape he really didn't have time for this but Dean was actually paying more attention to him. Actually searching him out then the other way around. Nathanael leaped at Dean knocking him over that rolled still holding the sock in his mouth.

Nathanael got a hold of apart from the sock tugging it from Dean that playful growled his tail wiggling, Nathanael growled back his own tail wiggling he let got of the sock making Dean fall over before jumping at him. "Nathanael…" a very shaky voice said. "I'm sorry but the car is here. We have to go now." Nathanael changed his form looking down at Dean that let go of the sock changing back to.

Nathanael admired Dean's flushed face his hair tangled, he smiled apologizing to Dean that looked straight him in the eyes. "I thought of telling you last night… I'll be back tomorrow."

"Sure." Dean said shrugging standing brushing himself off. "Se you then." Nathanael nodded getting up, he left feeling a little heavy.

¤

Nathanael rested on his stomach his head popped on his crossed arms, from the corner from his eyes he saw Dean coming closer. He stripped down to his underwear before crawling on the bed. He felt the weight of Dean on his legs as Dean stretched over him his head nuzzling his. Nathanael's eyes fluttered. He felt Dean's lazy kisses against his back then left a bite mark on his neck where the shoulder just stopped and the neck started. Then felt Dean's fingers curl into his dark brown hair with a few strays of lighter brown in it.

"You have almost like a mohawk ever thought about that?" Dean asked softly almost whispering as he straddled his back lowering himself time to time to place a kiss on his shoulder or neck.

"No, me and my hair are not on good terms." He said with a crooked smile snuggling his head closer to his arms while stretching his neck. Dean's finger scalped Nathanael's scalp making Nathanael shiver all over.

"I can cut it." Nathanael snorted "I can! Please I cut my brothers hair his entire life. And my dads and my. So I know how."

"Yeah but your brothers hair was a mop."

"Well… he liked it like that. He's a emo kid."

"You'd probably just shave it off or something."

"Naw just trim it. c'mon… I promise it will be fun."

"Fun?" he asked in disbelief.

"C'mon don't be so boring."

"I'm not boring." He muttered, he hated that Dean called him boring, he really tried not to be boring. It wasn't his fault that Dean was a walking talking kid 24/7. Always up to no good always getting into trouble, but somehow always weaselled himself out of it. "Okay… but I get to cut yours."

"No way."

"Dean don't be boring. I promise not to mess up your pretty boy stile."

"Dude I'll kick your ass. Don't call me pretty boy. You are not me."

"Sure…"

"I'm not!"

"Right… I believe you…"

"No you… gah! C'mon." Nathanael chuckled getting up.

"Do we even have scissors?"

"We're the fuck do you cut your hair?"

"I dunno perhaps the hair dresser?" he said sarcastically.

"Awww…." He cough pretty boy and Nathanael punched Dean's arm that winced he sat down on the floor as Dean grabbed the scissors. "Ok don't move don't wanna cut of your ear…"

"Dean!"

"I'm kidding!" Nathanael saw the brown locks fall to the floor, he saw the hair increase and frowned.

"What are you doing! Your cutting of all of my hair!" he got out, not really upset Dean could shave it off he wouldn't be mad. Dean was to adorable to be mad at for to long anyway.

"No I'm not, you just have thick hair." Dean explained cutting it shorter on Nathanael's neck. He hummed happily a Led Zeppling song brushing of hair on Nathanael's neck. He placed a kiss on his head before standing in front of him doing the final touches. "I'm so proud." Dean smirked. He sat down looking at Nathanael's beautiful form stand up and look into the mirror. He sighed as he looked at Nathanael, feeling himself blush as Nathanael looked at him obviously hearing the little sigh. He grinned at him and ruffled his hair. It was much shorter on the sides his mohawk more visible.

Nathanael looked down at Dean smiling wide, he took the scissors from Dean, cutting Dean's hair that hummed obviously enjoying Nathanael's fingers stoke his hair. "Dean?"

"Mmmm"

"We are getting there aren't we? I mean. We're getting back to like we use to be?"

"No… I think… that we are going to something better… don't you?" Nathanael smiled softly nodding his head. "You look good like that."

"No ya think?" he rolled his eyes. Leave it to Dean to give him a punk stile. "Get up "

"Why? Maybe I like it here." Nathanael lifted Dean up that laughed.

"Dude, gonna carry me over the threshold?" he asked grinning. "I'm not your woman Nathanael." He scowled at Nathanael carried him to the bedroom dropping him on the bed.

"Oh and here I thought you were a girl with a lot of hair and dick." Dean chuckled shaking his head he crooked his finger for Nathanael to come closer before claiming his lips.

¤

"But I wanna!" Dean heard that he sounded very much like a little spoiled brat, but right now he didn't even care. "I didn't get to go the last time." He sulked. He put his arms up, Nathanael just shook his head amused. "I'm serious!"

"I know you are pouter. But…"

"But what…"

"You'll be bored."

"How is it boring to by a freaking pool table?"

&

Dean yawned bored and didn't even try to hide it. For the past freaking four hours this old man talked about freaking wood. He almost felt like a little kid tugging on its parents let to get attention as he reached for Nathanael that slapped his hand away. "This is boring." He stated loud the old man snorted at him. As soon as they entered this place the man had been kissing Nathanael's ass telling Dean how Nathanael family for eleven generations were loyal buyers. But at him he snored at him the second he laid eyes on him.

"Well you nagged about coming so shut up." Nathanael said calmly actually quite impressed that Dean actually lasted this long in the first place.

"As you se this table…"

"Dude, no offence all I want is a freaking pool table I can play on that wont break if you heavy people fight on it. That will last for at least ten years at rough treatment. I don't want freaking balls of crystals I want old school balls cubes I don't care the freaking material on the rug just that you can freaking play on it."

"Dean your being rude."

"Well he started it."

"Young man, I bed your pardon!" Dean snorted if his father had been around he would have his ass kicked… on the second hand he moved away from Nathanael. Sometimes he just rubbed the wrong way he knew that. Dean looked down his shoes feeling like a kid being yelled at.

Nathanael studied Dean, he was a hunter, a soldier a killer he did the job and he did the job great. But as soon you peeled of that you was left with a joker that hid old wounds behind a smile. The role of being a big brother a son died when he came to him. Dean was trying to find who he was without all of that, but at the still time he had being the roll of being a mate, a wolf. And that… that enough was hard. But being his mate… that everyone had been waiting for.

It wasn't like he didn't try to learn Dean about it all… sometimes he didn't want to teach Dean because Dean would become a mask of someone else again. Behind it all was a young man at twenty one, that lost his mother feeling lost in the world trying to save everyone as trying to save himself from drowning.

Something burst inside of Nathanael that love he had for Dean only grew. "Dean," he said softly reaching out to him. "Want to go to a bar and ask where they got a table?" Dean looked at him then at the old man, looking guilty. "Okay. I want the wood of dark oak, a dark green mat with old school balls and these sticks." Nathanael said to the man that nodded his head.

Dean jumped up and down eagerly pushing Raven out of the way as she blocked they way she kicked his ass and he grinned ripping the plastic around the stick before throwing one at Raven that grabbed it in the mid air. "Your sure we can open it? I mean Nathanael will be back…"

"In a few hours, by then we put back all of the stuff and pretend like nothing." Dean said calmly and Raven snorted.

"I don't think."

"Your starting to think to much." She narrowed down her eyes "c'mon don't be so chicken." She snorted again and Dean walked towards her "I promise no one will know…"

"Your percent sure?" Raven asked crossing her arms.

"What are you? Ten?"

"Nine hundred and twenty five." She said cocky.

"Your old."

"And your thirty four." Dean's smile flattered quickly. "Aw did I hit I soft spot?" she asked grinning but it faded as she saw the seriousness in Dean she got worried, "what's wrong?" she asked "is it the age… try turning fifty and still have a twenty year old body." She grinned but Dean just looked at her."

"I always thought I was gonna die before I hit thirty. Just… weird."

"Your not dying in anytime soon. That I promise you."

"I know Raven I'm no that dumb just saying its weird. Its deep and deep I don't go. So c'mon we can play before he comes…" Dean sniffed the air "or not I thought you said hours he's only a few miles from here!" Raven quickly helped Dean packing the things before dashing out the door crashing into Jimmy.

"What have you two been doing?"

"Nothing." Dean said a little to quickly, but then looked suspicious at Jimmy that looked rather pale "you broke something."

"No I didn't."

"OH I think you did… we won't tell if you won't tell." Dean said cheekily.

"Well that wont work, not be rude or anything but you reek." Dean snorted, "you reek of Nathanael and you, so everything you go touching smells like you if you smell it closely so… he'll know you two where there cuz where you go she goes. Me on the other hand…"

"Is caught to…" Raven said. They snorted at each other grumpy going on different direction Dean tugged on Raven. "Yeah you smell." Dean pouted "you kind off reek like he said for miles, when I was out hunting I could smell you. But c'mon Dean its not that bad… not for us anyway. Wolfs."

"Doesn't that really scream I have a very possessive jealous boyfriend?" Dean asked in a go cherry matter with a big wide fake smile.

"No it screams, I have a powerful, dangerous, possessive, jealous boyfriend that will kill you if you touch my mate kind of way." Raven whispered hushed as if the walls had ears but ya never knew. Dean shook his head waving Raven off that as they got outside, Dean changed shape and ran towards Nathanael's direction.

He saw the car come closer and slowed down, his brow crooked up his mouth quirking as he saw the black limo slow down, the door was opened for him and he entered. He looked around curious and asked looking at Nathanael that was looking at him amused his arm on each side of the side. "New car?" Dean sat beside Nathanael already snooping around for something interesting and found a bottle with champagne. "No liquor?"

"Their scotch here." Nathanael said ever so amused muttering what happened to hello and how are you. Dean just snorted at him dropping the expensive bottle of champagne in Nathanael's lap as he grabbed the scotch opening it and took a mouth full. "Yes Dean by all mean drink the 30 year old scotch I've been saving." Nathanael said sarcastically but his fingers were already curling in Dean's hair and the other hand gripping Dean's hip yanking him closer. Dean got the message and straddled Nathanael.

"I'm angry with you."

"Why is that?" Nathanael asked amused his hands already under Dean's t-shirt.

"I reek. I reek of you man." Dean scowled but he wasn't really mad and Nathanael knew that so he just crooked his brow and smirked. "So I think that is totally unfair." Dean said wisely "if I reek then you should reek to."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Dean said nodding his head grinning wide, his eyes fixated on Nathanael's lips and licked his own. "Really" he said out of breath and looked into Nathanael's eyes seeing the dark passionate eyes and Dean attacked Nathanael's lips. He moaned deeply into Nathanael's mouth and sucked his lower lip roughly. "Need you now." He said between breathes as he left a big mark on Nathanael's neck, pulling the collar down, he rips open the shirt slide Nathanael's black jacket off. The shirt probably cost as he would spend at two months at amo.

A few buttons flew at other directions and Dean's mouth attacked Nathanael's chest. His knees down on the floor of the limo. His tong flickered over the nipple then down, he heard Nathanael's breath hitched. "I should have known when I saw you walking into the bar that you'd be the death of me."

"I don't want to kill you just wear you out." Dean said husky unzipping the pants. He bit the flesh above the waist line licking the hot flesh sucking greedy leaving another purple mark.

"You must have cast some kind of spell over me Dean." Nathanael said breathless feeling his heart slam in his chest. Dean looked up with a feral grin and Nathanael pushed him back before straddling him. "You know you can make me do anything you want me to, anything you want I'll give to you. Your wish is my command Dean. Do you know how power you hold in your hands Dean?" he asked breathless lifting the t-shirt of Dean's body. Dean just looked into his eyes needy. Dean didn't know what power he possessed over him, Dean didn't know what he would do for him. Dean was blind to that power, so freaking blind.

"I want you." Dean breathed. And Dean's wish was his command he would do what he never done in his life before. He trusted Dean with everything, he offered Dean everything. Now he would offer him himself. Dean teased that he wanted him to reek like him but it wasn't necessary he was blind to all other then Dean, if they stilled lived in the old age he would have made Dean a god by now.

Nathanael kissed Dean's jaw line, their bodies slowly rocking against each other, Nathanael looked straight at Dean which eyes where closed, he rolled them around leaving Dean on top that opened his eyes. Nathanael's leg went around Dean's hips that looked at him for a second before rocking their bodies together again. He was not getting the message. So Nathanael locked his other leg around Dean shifting until Dean's dick was pressed against his ass. Dean froze in his movement his eyes widen.

"It's okay."

"No its not. We… just cuz my body magical adjust to you doesn't mean…" Nathanael shut him up by a kiss then rolled them, he straddled Dean his hand behind Dean's neck pulling his head up for a kiss, it burned as he lowered himself it burned like hell but his body quickly recognized Dean as his mate and adjusted in just a matter of seconds.

Dean rolled them kissing him deeply before moving. A life time after he dropped on top of Nathanael that breathed harshly before laughing. "Well that was… different."

"Welcome to my world." Dean said with a grin.

THE END:

a/n; hope that I didn't butcher you all with this. Its slow sometimes I know but I wanted it out my head before it wanted to explode.

4th – 6th January 2007