The pies actually turned out relatively good. They had made two, just in case the first one turned out to be an utter failure, but they actually were not that bad. The first pie came out out a little bit burnt, but they all agreed it still tasted pretty good.
After they had finished cooking, they all gathered on the couch to enjoy their creation. Sam fell asleep pretty fast. He was seated on the arm of the couch with his back leaning into it. His mouth was agape at an angle, and there was the tiniest bit of blueberry pie filling dripping from the corner of his mouth.
Dean's expression softened when he passed by Sam. His brother looked so peaceful and innocent, just like when they were kids. He pulled a blanket from the top of the couch onto him in a nurturing manner, and he leaned over slightly to wipe the leftover pie from his face with a delicate finger. A soft smile tugged at the corners of Dean's mouth. Sam was still the kid he had raised. He was still that innocent little boy whom Dean had taken into his care so many years ago.
"Good night, Sammy." He said in a sweet tone as he gazed warmly at his sleeping little brother. Sam mumbled something incoherent in his sleep as he shifted around to get comfortable in the blanket.
Cas was standing over in the kitchen area, very carefully wrapping up the second, untouched pie. He was very focused with what he was doing; he wanted it to be perfect.
Dean looked up from Sam to see Cas in the kitchen area, and, in order to satisfy his curiosity, he slowly walked over. He saw the focused expression on Castiel's face. He looked so intent on what he was doing that Dean became immediately interested in the task. He wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist and pressed his head into his shoulder.
"What are you doing over here? We're over there, Cas." Dean lifted his head to whisper into his boyfriend's ear.
"I'm saving this pie." He stated the obvious in a mechanical tone as he tried his hardest not to let Dean distract him. "For Michael." He added after some time.
Dean pulled away from Cas in shock. "You sure that's a good idea?" Dean tried to keep his voice as calm as possible. He knew that Cas loved Michael, but Dean had never really met said brother, and he had not heard much of anything good about him. He could not possibly know how Michael would respond if Cas, whom he seemed to not speak to at all, suddenly showed up and gave him a pie. He did not like the idea of Cas being that close to him after what Gabriel had told him, even if time had passed. He tried to keep his gaze on Castiel as if hoping to transmit some of his thought to him, but he also stole a glance at Gabriel to see if he shared his thoughts, and in Gabriel's eyes, he saw his own fears reflecting back at him.
"Yes. Michael is my brother. He must miss Mom too." Cas gave Dean a kind look that was mixed with confusion. He did not understand what the problem was. Michael had changed. Cas was sure of it. He hadn't meant it in the first place. He continuously told himself. The look in Dean's eyes said everything about his thoughts, and they bothered Castiel. He wanted to believe that Michael was not who Dean thought he was, and, more than that, he wanted to prove it.
Dean glanced over to Gabriel for help. He knew that the whole situation surrounding Michael was delicate, and he knew that Gabriel could probably handle this better than he could.
Gabriel caught sight of Dean's distress signal, and he walked calmly over towards Cas from his spot on the couch. "I know, Cas. Dean knows that too. We just can't tell what Michael's thinking, or what he could do. We're just playing things safe." Gabriel assured him as he came behind Cas to put a comforting hand in his brother's shoulder.
"But I want him to have a pie too." Cas insisted with a childlike innocence. He was not whiny though. He was just pleading and gentle. It was the kind of sweet care that only a child could give. He was staring down at the pie laid out on the counter in front of him. The pie was a reminder of when they were a family - before Michael started bullying Cas. It was back when their mother was alive, and she would make pies for them after school when she got the chance because she had always wanted to show that she'd cared; she just never had the time.
"I know." Gabriel's voice filled with sympathy. "Hey, I've got an idea." His voice perked up. "What if I gave it to him for you?"
Cas only slightly cheered up at the suggestion. He had wanted to be the one to give it to Michael because he felt that he had been the one who had offended him so many years ago. He felt like it was his fault that Michael did not talk to them any more, and he felt like he should be the one to fix that, but Gabriel had offered to bring it for him. He was trying to help, and Cas was grateful. At least Michael will get the pie, and then he won't feel like he's not a part of the family anymore. That thought made a smile begin to surface on Castiel's face.
"Yes. Thank you, Gabriel." Cas finally took his gaze from the pie as he turned around to give his older brother a hug. "Make sure he knows that he is a part of our family." He informed Gabriel of his supposed task.
Gabriel accepted the hug graciously, but his task was a little bit harder to accept. He loved Michael. It was inevitable; they were family, but that didn't mean that he liked him or wanted him around. He had not forgiven Michael for what he had done to Cas, and he found it hard to just accept Michael back like that, when Michael had made it clear what he had thought of their family; it was obvious that Michael wanted no part in it, but Gabriel was not going to tell Cas that. It might just break his loving heart, and he couldn't bare to watch that happen.
"You're welcome, Cassie." His voice was laced with his mixed emotions as he pulled away from the embrace. "Now, go get some rest, okay? I'll finish up here." Gabriel instructed parentally.
Cas obeyed without much hesitation as he went over to Dean and grabbed his hand to hold it in his own. The two of them then headed towards the couch where Dean flopped himself down and kicked his feet casually onto the coffee table as he relaxed one arm onto the arm chair and held the other open for Cas.
Castiel followed him onto the couch as he pulled a blanket from on top of the couch and laid down with his head on Dean's lap and his body sprawled onto the plush furniture piece. Dean took his free arm and wrapped it around Cas's shoulder. Castiel responded by grabbing that hand and holding it loosely in his own. With help from Dean, they managed to get the blanket over both of them in a comfortable position, and then they were perfectly content the way they were.
It did not take long for Gabriel to wrap up the pie, considering Castiel's careful job wrapping it, but he got distracted in the process. He couldn't help but to think of his mother when he was wrapping that pie. It was always her job. She did that, but now she could not. She was dead, and that still did not quite click with Gabriel considering that he had not even allowed himself to cry over her yet. Actually, he had not given himself a chance to soak in her death and grieve at all because he needed to be strong for Cas. But all of that pent up grief and anger was beginning to boil over inside of him, especially at the sight of that pie. He felt hot tears begin to sting at the edges of his eyes, but he tried to remain as silent as possible. He didn't want to disturb Cas. Gabriel tried his hardest to ignore his feelings by putting the pie in the petite fridge, but they didn't seem to want to disappear. He stayed in the kitchen for a few minutes until he was sure that the tears had left his eyes.
Gabriel walked out of the kitchen and towards the seating area. Sam was still passed out in the edge of the couch, and now, so was Cas, but he was sound asleep with his head resting in Dean's lap. Dean was looking down at him fondly as he lightly stroked his head,running his fingers delicately through Castiel's short hair.
"I'm going to call it a night." Gabriel concealed all of his emotions from minutes prior. "Where am I sleeping?"
"You can sleep in Sam's bed. He's obviously not going to sleep there tonight." Dean said as a small chuckle escaped his lips.
"Thanks." Gabriel muttered as he turned to leave the room, but he was stopped as Dean called him back over.
"Gabriel?" Dean sounded as if he was uncertain that he should be asking whatever question was on his mind.
"Yeah?" Gabriel replied as he turned around and took a step closer to the couch again.
"Were you… Are you doing okay?" Dean tried to formulate his question in a way that was not too intrusive, but his voice was still edged with concern.
"I'm fine." Gabriel answered automatically. "Or... I will be. Don't worry about it." He said in a dismissive tone.
Dean sighed. "I heard you crying in there. Stop avoiding it and just tell me what's wrong. I had to have this talk with Sam, but jeezum that was when he was a kid. You'd think you'd know better."
"Don't pretend you don't do it too." Gabriel muttered.
"I know I do. I'm trying to stop doing it so often, but it's a tough habit to crack. I did it to protect Sam," Dean had also done it simply because he did not like dealing with his emotions, and he found easier just to ignore them. But that was beside the point because now, he cherished his emotions more than he ever thought he would, and that was because of Castiel. "So I'm guessing you're trying to protect Cas." Dean stated firmly yet casually.
Gabriel snorted. "Of course you'd make assumptions." He joked before countering Dean's statement. "But yeah. I guess I am. Is that a bad thing?"
"It is for you. Trust me, keeping that stuff in hurts. They can tear you apart inside, and then you will just keep silent about that too until there isn't much to tell because all you are is a mixed, broken mess of contained feelings. You gotta pour out to someone, and if you think it's bad for Cas to hear, I might as well be that someone." Dean sounded almost endearing when he spoke, which was quite a stretch from the Dean he had been so many months ago when he first met Castiel.
Gabriel gave him a small grateful stare before he took in a deep breath. "If I tell you, please don't tell Cas. He's got enough to worry about." He sounded serious, but it was not threatening; it was caring.
"I know. I promise." Dean glanced down at Cas briefly. He looked so peaceful sleeping there that Dean felt it almost wrong to have Gabriel tell him things he thought would hurt Cas when said brother was lying there like a napping child.
"I guess I'm mad. Well, not just mad, but I think that's what's bothering me." Gabriel said as he turned his gaze towards the nearest window. It was pitch black outside, and there was nothing to really be seen out there, but Gabriel was not looking at anything. He was just gazing off into space. "I just… She's gone. She's gone, and she was just starting to get it. I guess that frustrates me." Gabriel's fist began clench, but he had already lost Dean.
"Get what?" He asked purely confused.
"Parenting." Gabriel finished firmly as he ripped his gaze from the window to deliver that one word to Dean before turning it back again. "She had been working our whole lives. She never had much time for us, but really, what kind of an excuse is that to let one of your children get bullied to a point where he can't talk for months?" He began his angry rant. His emotions became visible through his light brown eyes. There was the fire of anger, but there was also that glint of sadness and grief that had started the whole thing. "She didn't know what parenting was. She thought she could make us pies to show that she cared, but she wasn't there for us. I made all of that up for my speech. She was never there for us, and we really needed her."
"When did she get better then?" Dean asked, still lost in Gabriel's rant. He understood how she was a bad parent, but none of Gabriel's words painted her as a good parent.
Gabriel rubbed his eyes, and Dean was uncertain if he was angry, tired, blocking out tears, or some combination of the three. "On her deathbed. She realized what she had missed out on - what she had failed to do when it was too late to change that. She tried to become more involved in our lives, and do you know how happy that made Cas that she finally had time to talk to him and learn everything about him?" He let out a hushed yet pained laugh before he continued.
"Don't get me wrong. He was scared for her, but he loved being able to have time with her for once. He loved that she actually asked what was going on for once. He just wanted her to get better. That was all he wanted. But I… I didn't see it that way. I was mad 'cause she learned only when it was too late." Gabriel was silent for around a minute, and Dean said nothing in response because he could not shake the feeling that there was something more to it than that, and there was. "I was mad 'cause I felt like I had been cheated. It felt like life had come down and personally slapped me in the face. I'm mad 'cause… I just wanted a mom, and I didn't have one until she was gone." Gabriel finished as his tears from earlier began to return.
There was a heavy silence in the room after that. The whole time, Dean kept his gaze focused on Cas. He knew how Castiel had felt about his mother, but he had never known how Gabriel felt until that moment, and it kind of surprised him. He could not have imagined that Gabriel felt that way at that moment because he kept it bottled in so well. That's what it's like when I do this. He realized.
"There you go. That feels better, right?" Dean tried to make his voice as lightly joking as possible, but it was evident that he had been thinking about Gabriel's words and had been thrown into thought.
"Yeah. You know. I think you were right for once." Gabriel returned the false joking attitude. "Thanks Dean-o, and you know. I'm glad you're here for Cas. I see the way you guys look at each other. It's something special. You've helped him through this, and… You taught me something. You and Cas... You guys aren't happy. You can't always be happy. That's not what life's about. You guys are broken, but you're broken together, and that makes the world of a difference. That brokenness is shared, and… Mended-not healed, but mended. I guess what I mean is… Thanks for being so helpful to him." He added in a softer tone filled with sincerity as he turned to leave.
"Me too." Dean responded quietly. "But hey, that's what family's for." A wide grin accompanied his words.
"I'll have to return the favor some time then." Gabriel replied as a smile crept onto his face as well as he left the room with a satisfied feeling inside of him. He felt so much lighter, and he genuinely hoped that he'd be able to return the favor.
Gabriel woke up that morning in Sam's bed, and it took him a moment to register where he was. Sam's room was rather small and cramped. There was a bookshelf full of books that appeared to have been very used, and there was a desk in the corner that was littered with paper, more books, pens, a laptop, and other such items. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he got up to leave the tiny room. Gabriel stopped himself dead in his tracks as soon as he walked into the living room. Cas was gone. He was nowhere to be seen in the apartment room, and Dean and Sam were both still asleep. Panic began to overtake Gabriel.
Oh no. What if he…? In order to answer his own thought, he ran to the refrigerator and opened the door frantically. It was gone. The pie was gone. The pie plate was nowhere in sight. Oh no. Oh no. Gabriel repeated in his mind.
He ran immediately over to Dean and began to shake him urgently, shouting, "Dean! Dean wake up!"
"Cas. Don't go, Cas. Stay here." Dean mumbled in his sleep as he turned to shove his face into the couch.
"That's exactly the problem, you idiot!" Gabriel exclaimed right in his face, which sent Dean jumping up in surprise.
"Jeezum, Gabriel! Can't I have some personal space around here!" Dean replied nearly as loudly as he opened his eyes, but be stopped shouting once he realized what was missing. "Where's Cas?" He matched Gabriel's earlier tone.
"I think he went to see Michael. I'm going after him. Stay here." Gabriel informed him rapidly.
"Wait! I'm coming too!" Dean protested as he jumped into his feet.
"No. You'll just make it worse. Michael doesn't know you. This is between the three of us. You're wasting time. Just stay here in case he comes back." Gabriel rushed out the door without giving Dean the time to make another argument.
Dean thought about following him, but he decided that Gabriel was right. He did not know Michael. Gabriel was the best person to handle that situation. Dean just hoped that Cas's kinder brother was good enough.
