~Your Cheatin' Flippers~


Penguin Base: 1900 Hours

"Happy Anniversary!"

Party poppers went off sending colorful confetti into the air as the penguins all cheered. Skipper, Kowalski, and Private were all on one side of a colorfully decorated table upon which rested a large, pink and white cake with the words "Happy Anniversary" written on it in red icing right above where a huge fish was stuck through the center. On the other side of the table stood Rico, affectionately holding Ms. Perky.

"Awwwwww." said Rico, looking slightly embarrassed. "'Ou gaaaahs."

"A whole year!" exclaimed Private.

"And they said your freaky, unnatural relationship would never last!" added Skipper.

A light clang came from the side of the room as the metal door swung open.

"Hey guys!" said Marlene as she walked in. "I was wondering if...woah."

Marlene looked around the room where streamers and various pictures of Rico and Ms. Perky decorated the walls.

"Uuuh, what's going on here?"

"Today is Rico and Ms. Perky's one year anniversary." explained Private.

"Awwww, that's so sweet!...and...disturbing."

"You got that right, sister." said Skipper. "There is nothing normal about this."

"However," added Kowalski. "When it comes to Rico we learned long ago that any semblance of normality has the same likelihood as the sun experiencing a spontaneous molecular restructuring that defies all known laws of science and nature thus transforming it into milk chocolate...which is slim."

"Yeah, I got that. So," said Marlene. "What do you two...love birds have planned for your anniversary?"

"They're going out for a night on the town!" said Private as Rico nodded behind him. "There will be dinner and dancing. Oh, it's all so romantic!"

"Private, please. This situation is already uncomfortable enough without you gushing over this lovey-dovey junk like a teenage school girl."

"Sorry, Skipper."

"Awwww, it does sound romantic." said Marlene. "And I'm sure you two will have a...wonderful time."

"So, care for a slice of cake?" asked Private.

"Uh, no, thanks. I actually came over to ask if you guys could help me with something, but since you're busy I'll just-"

"Nonsense." said Skipper, grabbing her around the shoulder. "We'd be happy to help. Rico was just about to leave anyway."

"Uh-huh!" said Rico nodding.

"Well, okay. If you're sure."

"'Course we're sure." Skipper pulled Marlene in close, whispering. "Besides, this whole thing was getting a little freaky for me anyway."

Slowly their heads both turned back towards Rico, who was laughing in a slightly deranged fashion while shoving pieces of cake onto Ms. Perky's unopening mouth. They both stared wide eyed.


The engine roared to life. Rico smiled ecstatically before leaning over to make sure Ms. Perky was safely buckled in. Having confirmed her security, the psycho penguin leaned back, slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses, popped in a CD, and put the car in drive. As the vehicle peeled out from beside the penguin habitat and into the zoo a loud, romantic power ballad blared from the speakers shattering the quiet night.

Confidently, Rico slipped his flipper around Ms. Perky's shoulder, driving with the other. The couple was quickly approaching the brick wall surrounding the zoo. Right when it seemed they were about to crash, Rico upchucked a miniature ramp onto the road in front of them.

As the music struck a powerful cord, the car hit the ramp, shooting off it high into the air. Rico let out a howl as the car soared through the skies, the wind blowing through Ms. Perky's artificial hair until they smacked down with a hard bump onto the sidewalk outside the zoo. They spun in circles across the pavement, out of control, until finally managing to come to a screeching halt.

As the smell of burnt rubber filled the air Rico sat there, his arm still wrapped around Ms. Perky and a huge grin spread wide across his face. He turned to his date, wiggling an eyebrow, and she returned the gesture by sitting there, smiling her ever present smile. As Rico turned back to the road, the car once again peeled out sending the couple careening towards their romantic and totally unnatural anniversary date.


Otter Habitat: 1930 Hours

"Okay, Marlene. What are we looking at?"

Skipper waddled confidently forward through the cave entrance, Marlene right beside him.

"What do you mean?" asked Marlene confused.

"I mean what's the situation? Bomb under the bed? Infestation of mutant ticks? Volcano slowly emerging from underneath the door mat?"

"Wah? No. No. Nothing like that."

"Oh, so this is more of a personal matter. Need someone taken care of, eh?"

"No, I-"

"Kowalski! What do we have in the 'making someone disappear' department?"

Kowalski pulled out a massive manila folder, stuffed to the brim with papers. "The better question would be 'what don't we have?'"

"Perfectamundo."

"Guys, really, I-"

"I would recommend number three hundred sixty-two." said Kowalski handing Skipper a pink sheet of paper.

"Negative. I'm saving that one for Ring Tail." he quickly looked back at Marlene. "Not that we would ever really do that, it's just, you know, in case something ever-"

"Guys! I don't wanna make anyone disappear! There are no bombs, no ninja assassins, no aliens-"

"Well, for pity's sake Marlene, what do you need help with?"

"I just need help finding my hairbrush!"

The penguins all stared for a moment. Skipper put his flippers on his hips.

"A hairbrush? That's what you needed our help with? Why didn't you say that in the first place?!"

"I tried, but you were too busy spouting crazy theories for me to get a word in edge wise. You guys always cut me off right when I-"

"Woah, woah, woah! Name one time I ever cut you off?"

"Just now!"

"Okay, name another time."

"Ugh." Marlene dropped her head in her paw, taking a deep breath. "Okay. Let's just forget all about the cutting off business. Can ya help me find my hairbrush or not?"

"Of course we caaan. Compared to a mutant tick infestation, finding a hairbrush is as easy as finding out Private's favorite T.V. show."

Private popped up from behind Marlene, whispering. "It's the Lunacorns."

"Well, great!" said Marlene. "So, what's first?"

"First we need to establish a perimeter. A search area. Where was the last place you saw this hairbrush?"

"Um, okay. So, I was brushing my fur last night, like I do every night."

"We don't need to know about your personal grooming habits, Marlene. Just tell us where you had the brush."

"Okay. Okay. I finished brushing, and I laid it down next to my pillow."

"Kowalski."

Kowalski rushed over, drawing a quick chalk outline of a hairbrush.

"Huh. Not a bad likeness."

"What happened next?"

"Well, I went to bed, and then the next morning I woke up and it was gone."

"Skipper," said Kowalski. "I believe I've found something."

Skipper furrowed his brow as Kowalski handed him a small, brown fragment of something.

"What is it?" asked Marlene.

"Peanut shell." Skipper licked it. "Still salty."

"Okay. Aaand what does that mean?"

"It means that we're going to pay a little visit to the elephant habitat."


Elephant Habitat: 1940 Hours

"Hello, Burt."

Burt looked up from his peanuts, startled by the appearance of three penguins and an otter on the wall surrounding his home.

"We need to ask you a few questions."

"Uuuuuh." Burt quickly turned tail, running over to his hay bales and lying down. "Sorry! I'm asleep!" His head dropped heavily against the ground, a loud snore going in through his mouth and out through his trunk.

"Buuurt." said Skipper. "We just saw you awake three second ago." Burt responded by snoring louder. Skipper sighed. "Okay. Fine. Guess we'll juuust have to come back in the morning. Let's go."

"But-"

Marlene was cut off as Skipper dragged her off the wall.

There was a moment of silence.

Slowly Burt opened an eye, checking if the cost was clear. He sighed in relief, turning his head. "That was a close o-Aaaah!" Burt screamed at the sudden appearance of the penguins and Marlene in front of him. "Don't do that!"

"Where's the brush, Burt?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Then how do you explain these!" Skipper held out incriminating peanut shells.

"I-I've never seen those peanuts in my life!"

"Fess up, Burt. You might as well have signed your name."

Burt stared anxiously. "Okay! I confess! I took the the hairbrush!"

"Why'd ya do it, Burt?"

"Because I wanted to brush my hair, duh."

"But you don't even have hair." said Private.

"Ya-huh. Look." Burt used his trunk to point to several thin strands of hair on top of his head.

"O-kay. So why didn't you just ask to borrow it?" asked Marlene.

"When I came over, you were asleep. I figured it would be fine as long as I returned it before you woke up."

"So why didn't you return it?" asked Skipper.

"Because, after I brought it back here, I laid it down over by my watering trough. I use it as a mirror."

"Get to the point."

"Okay! Geez! I went to get some peanuts, and then when I came back it was gone!"

"You mean someone stole it?" asked Private.

"A double theft." said Skipper, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "This just got a whole lot more interesting. Kowalski!"

Kowalski ran over to the area beside the watering trough and made a chalk outline of the hairbrush.

"Nice likeness."

"I know, right?" said Marlene.

"Focus people." said Skipper before turning back to Burt. "So, tell us what happened next."

"I went to bed."

"And that's it?"

"Yep."

"Skipper."

The commando leader turned to Kowalski who was kneeling on the ground. Beside the trough, imprinted in the dirt, was an alligator footprint.


New York City: 2000 Hours

"Wooooooooohoooooooooo~!"

Loud rock music blared as Rico and Miss Perky sped down the streets of downtown New York. All around them neon signs and electric billboards advertised night life attractions, from dance clubs to theaters to establishments with names so strange you couldn't tell what kind of things lurked inside! The sun had just finished setting, but already the streets were teaming with people prowling for a good place to spend the night in the city that never sleeps.


Strobe lights pulsed across the club interior. All around humans danced to the rhythmic pop beats, having a great time on their evening out. Suddenly several round, metal objects dropped to the floor around them. They only had a chance to stare before BOOM! Purple gas erupted from the balls, filling the nightclub to the brim and eliciting coughs from all the assembled humans. As quick as it had come the gas dissipated revealing all the clubbers now completely unconscious on the floor. And in the center of the dance floor, swing dancing with Ms. Perky, was Rico, smiling ecstatically as he danced among the knocked out patrons.


"Garson!"

On the balcony of a fancy bistro a wealthy gentlemen sat looking snootily down at his place of poached salmon. At his call the waiter rushed to his side.

"Oui, monsieur?"

"This salmon is poorly cut. I demand a fresh piece."

"Right away, sir." said the waiter picking up the plate. He bowed once to the man before turning to take back the fish. However, when he looked down at the plate the fish was gone! Startled the waiter looked around for where it could have gone.

Meanwhile, on the awning above him, Rico laid down his makeshift fishing pole, the poached poached salmon on a plate beside him. Hungrily he rubbed his flippers together, and eagerly began to chow down, his date sitting right across from him smiling as the two 'shared' the meal.


"Raaa~! Ra ra ra~! Ra ra raaaa ra~!"

Under the glow of the moon above Rico lightly serenaded his date, sailing a tin-can gondola down the New York city gutters using a straw as a oar. Miss Perky sat smiling silently as they drifted along the edge of the sidewalk, and Rico was so wrapped in her beauty that he didn't even notice when they sailed down a drain and dropped right into the sewers.


Zoo: 2200 Hours

"All right." said Skipper. "Let's go over this again. Kowalski."

Kowalski nodded, looking down at his clip board. "Burt stole the brush from Marlene to brush his predominately non-existent hair. However, Rodger then took the brush from Burt to clean off his piano keys, but before he could Badda took it in hopes of holding it for ransom until Roy filched it to clean his horn, which brings us to-"

"You two." finished Skipper.

Phil and Mason both stared.

"Um, sorry old chum, could you run that buy us just one more time? I'm not quite sure I follow."

"Ugh!" yelled Marlene. "Listen, do you have my hairbrush or not?"

"What on earth would make you think that we-"

Kowalski held up a banana peel.

"Found this at Roy's next to a clump of chimp hair." said Skipper, flippers crossed.

"Phil!" shouted Mason. "I told you you need to pay more attention to your personal grooming. This is exactly why we took the...uh..." He looked towards his five accusers who were all staring at him knowingly. "Oh, very well then. Yes, we took the hairbrush from Roy. Satisfied?"

"Ecstatic. Now just give us back the hairbrush and we'll-"

"Um, yes, about that."

Skipped sighed. "Where did you last leave it?"

Phil pointed to a place near the bottom of the tree in the middle of the habitat. With a flat expression Kowalski quickly broke out a hairbrush shaped stencil and spray painted a silhouette on the ground.

"Nice likeness." said Mason.

"Yes! We get it! Kowalski is the greatest hairbrush outline drawer the world has ever known. Now, back to the matter at hand."


New York City: 2200 Hours

BOOM!

In a fiery explosion a manhole cover was blown high into the sky above the New York City streets. As the metal disc turned over and over in the air, Ms. Perky flew out of the hole, followed a moment after by Rico, who caught Ms. Perky and dipped her dramatically just as the cover fell right back into place. He wiggled his eyebrows her until he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and gasped. Sticking out of the mud and gunk of the city gutters was a single, plastic doll's arm.

Concern filled his eyes as he look from that poor, abandoned doll to his own lovely Ms. Perky. In a moment of empathy Rico slid over the doll, and pulled it gingerly out of the muck. He grimaced, however, when he saw that about an inch of grime and slim was still caked over the entire remainder of the doll's body. He looked around for a moment until he spotted a Chinese Laundromat across the street.


"No, I said it would be ready tomorrow! Why you keep calling me?!"

Inside the laundromat a middle aged man was behind the counter, angrily yelling into the phone.

"I keep telling we cannot get it done in one day!" said the owner. "Awwww, your wedding is tomorrow, and you wanna look good? That's so sweet. Now why I need to know about your personal life? What I look like to you? A therapist? You want some advise? Lose some weight! Maybe if your dress was not so biiig we would have it finished by now! And another thing-"

The man stiffened suddenly. "On second thought, you're pretty just the way you aaaare..." As the last word trailed out of his mouth the man dropped to the floor, revealing Rico behind him, a flipper still poised to chop just in case he got back up again. Upon seeing that he did in fact stay down, Rico hurriedly jumped into the back of the shop.

In the back were several high powered steam washers, dryers, and clothing presses as well as a large rotating rack with various outfits sealed inside plastic bags. He looked around until he spied the biggest machine in the place, a massive washing machine with the words "Steam Wash-o-matic 5000" written on it in slanted gold lettering. Satisfied that that would do the job, Rico opened the door, chucked in the dirty doll, and slammed the door behind it. With a single jump he was on top, twisting the knob to "Delicate," and adjusting heat to "Mild" so as not to melt the plastic wash-cycle participant.

"Lee! Were you just yelling at another customer?!"

Rico turned around as an old lady walked out of a back room door holding a clear plastic bag with a wedding dress inside. "How many times have I told you yelling at a customer is not good for busi-" She stopped as she saw Rico standing there holding Ms. Perky. "A penguin? Lee, why did you let a penguin in here?" She turned her eyes towards the unconscious man. "Lee?"

"Yaaaaaaaah!"

The old woman looked up, her eyes widening as Rico flew towards her in a flying kick. Just as Rico was about to make contact the old lady screamed, diving out of the way. As the old lady rolled, Rico rebounded off the wall, and landed in a battle pose.

"What the-" She screamed, only just managing to jump over the counter as Rico came at her again. As she stood up she looked quickly from Rico to her son again. Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, I see how it is? You come into my shop and knock out my son, and now you come after me too?! You think just because Mrs. Xiao is an old lady she can't take care of herself, eh? I got more skills than Jackie Chan ever did! Plus, my English is better! And, another thing. I.."

She looked down at Rico who was staring at with one eyebrow ridge cocked.

"Aaaaand, I'm talking to a penguin. But you're going down anyway, bird!"

"Bri' i' on!"

Mrs. Xiao, though she had no idea what Rico was saying, narrowed her eyes before letting out a shrill battle cry. She did a flip, grabbing several lint brushes off a nearby table in the process. When she landed she began chucking them at the psycho bird. Rico jumped and flipped out of the way, grabbing Ms. Perky as he went.

"Mrs. Xiao gonna have Peking Penguin tonight!"

Rico dove behind one of the washers, gently setting down Mrs. Perky. Checking just once more to make sure she looked comfortable, he dove out onto the battlefield and charged his old lady nemesis, weaving between the lint brushes until he finally got close enough to tackle her screaming into the clothing rack.

Amidst the furious sounds of screaming, things breaking, and stuff crashing to the ground Lee slowly started coming to. The phone rang.

"Hello?" he said, answering it woozily. "You again? For the last time: wedding dress not ready! What do I gotta do to make you understand tha-" he stopped short as a wedding dress dropped onto the counter in front of him. "Ooooh, would you look at that. It is ready. You can come pick it up in an hour."

Lee's head jerked forward as a wooden lint roller smacked him in the back of the head. "Better make it two..." With those final words he dropped backward, unconscious once again.

Behind him a massive pile of clothes bulged with muffled screams and blows.

"Aaaaaaah!" Mrs. Xiao burst out of the left side of the pile, tossing a stray shirt off her head.

"Raaaaaaa!" Rico burst out the other side, a pair of tighty-whiteys around his waist.

"Not bad, little bird. But Mrs. Xiao gonna take you down to Chinatown!" A pair of underwear smacked Mrs. Xiao in the face, courtesy of Rico. She glared down at the cocky bird, before ripping the underwear of her face.

"Oh, now little bird gets an attitude, huh? But I bet you didn't see this coming!" The old lady reached to the side and picked up a hand powered steam cleaner. "Yeah, what now little bird? One blast a this you're a roast penguin!" Rico cocked an eyebrow ridge at her. "Not so cocky now, huh? Mrs. Xiao's got the brains, the moves, the skills-"

Rico horked up a mini-bazooka and shot it directly into the end of the steam cleaner. The device started to rumble as Rico waved bye-bye at the confused looking lady, ducking quickly under the clothes.

BOOOM!

Mrs. Xiao flew backwards across the shop, plowing through several racks of clothing before landing against the wall, the various garments cushioning her impact. She woozily looked up.

"But Mrs. Xiao does not have one of those." With a final groan the old lady passed out.

"Arrigh!" Rico smiled, breaking into a wild victory dance, bazooka still in hand. She slid over and grabbed Ms. Perky, spinning her into his cocky jig. With a seductive grin, he dipped her, romantically stroking her hair.

Ding

With a burst of steam the washer door popped open. Rico looked into the center where a dark silhouette was hidden among the gradually fading mist. Slowly his eyes widened as the figure came into focus. Six inches tall, pure, smooth plastic. Her hair was long and luxurious, blonde with a single pink highlight going all the way down to her waist. A perfectly shaped figure clad in a purple, one sleeved cocktail dress with matching sequined belt, accessories included. And there, in her left hand, was a matching purse with her smiling face on it, the words "Lila, by Toy-Mark" encircling it. Rico was so drawn in by the beauty of this vision before him that, unbeknownst to him, he dropped Ms. Perky. Quickly realizing his mistake however he rushed to pick her up, laughing awkwardly and uttering guttural apologies to her, his eyes constantly darting against his will back towards the doll standing perfectly erect in the washer.


Zoo: 2230 Hours

"Oh, George. I thought you loved me!"

"I did love you Clarice. That is until I met...Eliza."

"Oh, George, how could you?!"

"Uuuuuuuugh."

Julien moaned, dropping onto his back as the other lemurs kept their eyes glued on the TV.

"Shhhhhhh." hushed Maurice. "This is the good part."

"Maurice, in case you have not been noticing there are no good parts in this movie."

"It's my turn to pick the movie. Now hush up." Julien glared. "Uh, your majesty. Hehe."

"Fine." said Julien sitting up and crossing his arms. "Enjoy your boring, gooey movie."

Julien turned his head away from the TV looking out over the zoo. He pouted until he noticed the penguin's car driving across the plaza. Normally it wouldn't have attracted his attention, however he noticed that the car had three occupants and only one of them was a penguin. He moved closer to the edge to get a better look.

"Maurice. Come see this."

"But George is about to-"

"Trust me, Maurice, this is far more interesting."

"But-"

"Shhhh."

"Uggh." Slowly, Maurice got up, walking over to Julien and taking his bowl of popcorn with him. "What's so-"

Julien shushed him once more as he pointed down towards the penguin habitat where Rico was taking Ms. Perky out of the passenger seat of the car.

"What? It's just Rico and his 'girlfriend'."

"Yes, but check out the other girl in the backseat."

Slowly, Maurice glanced to the back of the car where the new doll was sitting. He looked back and forth between Rico who was setting Ms. Perky down by the fence surrounding the habitat, and the prettier doll.

"Ooooh, this is more interesting." Maurice plopped down, taking a bite of popcorn.

Down by the fence, Rico stood nervously in front of Ms. Perky, smiling and rubbing the back of his head.

"Uuuh. A be je gonna, uuuh, gab er om. Hehehe."

Ms. Perky stared as Rico continued avoiding eye contact. He gave her one last glance before nervously backing towards the car, still mumbling excuses.

"Oh, I know he's not about to do what I think he's gonna do."

"Quiet, Maurice." said Julien taking a bite of popcorn. "It's getting good."

The lemurs all watched as Rico put the new doll in the front seat, buckling her up before sliding into the driver's seat and driving away.

"Noooo!" gasped Maurice. "Did you see that?"

"I saw it!" said Mort raising his hand cheerfully.

"He just left that poor girl sitting out in the cold for that new girl! Er, doll. Er. You know what I mean!"

"This is being exactly like what was happening to the Clarice lady in the movie."

"You were watching?"

"Focus, Maurice. We must help her!"

"Help her? Help her how?"

"Oh, Maurice. Can you not see that she is clearly heart broken at the lose of her love?"

"I'm not sure dolls have hearts."

"I saw this in another of your gooey movies." continued Julien, pondering while ignoring Maurice. "We will need beauty products, tissues, the iced cream, and many more gooey love movies. Now go!"

"Whatever you say." sighed Maurice, rolling his eyes and he and Mort went off to fulfill their appointed tasks.

"And do not be forgetting the chocolate!"


Penguin Base: 2240 Hours

The door slammed open.

"Three hours of searching for nothing!" shouted Skipper as he, Kowalski, Private, and Marlene entered the base.

"It wasn't a total lose." said Private. "Fred did serve lovely cookies when we came to his house."

"Yes, and that would have been an ideal visit if he had actually had anything to do with the missing hairbrush." said Kowalski.

"Remind me how we got to the park again." said Skipper.

"Well, we followed the trail of one of the sewer rats away from the baboon habitat to the dwelling of Archie the raccoon in Central Park who claimed to have bought it off the rat and sold it to a squirrel."

"And since Fred's the only squirrel we know." continued Private. "We paid him a visit."

"But," continued Kowalski. "Since he neither owned a hairbrush nor had visited Archie that day our trail went unfortunately cold."

"Meaning, that after hours of searching I still don't have my hairbrush!"

"Face it, Marlene." said Skipper. "Archie could have pawned that brush off to any squirrel in New York. It's long gone."

"You can always borrow one of mine." said Private, holding out a suitcase full of neatly organized brushes.

"W-why do you have so many hairbrushes?" asked Marlene. "You don't have hair."

"Oh, they're not for me, silly. They're for my lunacorn." he gestured over to his bunk where his pink lunacorn sat with a head of perfectly quaffed hair. Marlene stared at the toy for a moment before shaking her head.

"I appreciate the offer and all, but that hairbrush was special. It was the only one that got my fur just right, ya know?"

"Your sentimentality is touching." said Skipper. Marlene smiled. "And annoying." She stopped smiling. "Just go see Archie again. Maybe he's got some lady product that can keep that unruly fur of yours in line."

"Yeeeeaaaah. I'll go do that." Marlene turned on her heel, marching away angrily and slamming the door behind her. The penguins looked after her.

"I don't think she's going to go see Archie." guessed Private.

"Uuuuuh, no." added Kowalski. They both turned to look at Skipper.

"Whaaat?"


"Stupid, Skipper." grumbled Marlene as she marched across the plaza. "Lady products. Pfft. My fur is not that unruly! Woah!"

Marlene jumped back just as what looked like Mort rushed across her path carrying two small tubs of ice cream. She watched as he jumped up and over the lemur habitat wall, her eyes slowly drifting upward towards a glow at the top of the central pedestal.

"What the..."


Up top on the pedestal Julien was sitting behind Ms. Perky, brushing her hair while Maurice gave her a manicure, green mud masks on every face. Around them several containers of ice cream, makeup, and tissues were strewn about while another romance movie played on screen.

"Girl, you need to drop that boy like a hot potato."

"But I love him!"

"But he don't act like he love you, and if he don't see how fine you are then you are way to good for him, am I right?"

"Preach, sister!" said Maurice.

"See?" said Julien to Ms. Perky. "You are much too good for the freaky penguin, much like how I am too good for most people."

Mort hopped up onto the rock. "I brought more icey cream!"

"Excellent. Did you remember the double fudgy kind?" Julien grabbed one of the containers, popping open the top. "Ooooh, triple fudge! Nice work."

"Hey! Excuse me!"

Every head turned as Marlene pulled herself over the ledge.

"If you have come for the ice cream we are fresh out."

"Uh, you have a new container sitting open in your lap."

"I meant fresh out for you. I thought that was being implied."

"Uh-huh. What's going on here?" she looked in front of him. "And what are you doing with Rico's doll, er, girlfriend?"

"Oh, she is no longer being his girlfriend."

"Huh?"

"Dude dumped her for a new model." explained Maurice.

"Personally, I don't see the attraction." said Julien. He turned towards Ms. Perky. "You are far prettier."

Marlene stared for a moment before shaking her head. "Okay, so let me get this straight. Rico left his doll...for...another doll?"

"Bingo!"

"That sleazeball!" shouted Marlene angrily.

"Hey! Watch the language." said Maurice covering Mort's ears.

"I mean any other day I would be supportive of this, especially if it was a real person, but today? On their anniversary?"

"Anniversary?" repeated Julien. He and Maurice turned to face each other smiling.

"Oooooooh." said Maurice. "This just got a whole lot juicier!"

"Ugh! When I get my hands on him-"

"Care to continue your rambling while joining us in our heart break party?" asked Julien. "We have triple fudgy ice cream~!"

Marlene put her paws on her hips. "Uh-huh. I thought you said you were fresh out of ice cream."

"And now we are being fresh in. Now, why don't you sit here behind our guest as you give us all the juicy details."

"I don't knoooow."

"I'll let you brush her hair with the new royal hairbrush~!" said Julien in a sign-song voice as he dangled a pink brush in front of her.

"Is that supposed to-" she stopped. "Oh, my gosh! Th-that's my brush!" she grabbed it. "It is! It's my special hairbrush!"

"Uh, no. That is being the new royal hairbrush. Were you not-"

Julien froze as Marlene suddenly embraced him in a tight hug.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" She let go, looking back at the brush. "You have no idea what I've been going through trying to find this."

Julien stood frozen, uncertain of what to do now. He looked to Maurice who simply shrugged. After a moment more he shook it off.

"Okay, fine! You can keep your silly brush. Now, make with the dishing of the dirt already."

"Okay. Okay." she said sitting down behind Perky as she started brushing her hair. "So, here's the deal..."


Central Park: 2300

Loud 70s love songs blared from the car speakers as it sat idle next to a fountain. A couple feet away was Lila, leaning against the base of the fountain and smiling up at the stars. Rico walked over, a flower in hand.

"A ba ju. Hehe."

He put the flower behind her ear, the blossom almost as big as her entire head. Shyly, he rubbed the back of his head as he went over to stand beside her. In one of the most classic moves of all time, he yawned, stretching his arms upwards before slyly wrapping it around her shoulders. He smiled at her, wiggling his brow flirtatiously. Slowly he puckered his lips, leaning in.

"Hey!"

He turned his head to see a small, angry looking sewer rat standing a couple feet away.

"What are you doin' wit my girl?!"

"Urs?!" shouted Rico angrily.

"Yeah. The name's Lenny, and that is my girlfriend. See?!" He turned to the side displaying a tattoo of Lila's face etched in black ink inside a pink heart.

Rico turned to Lila and lifted up her single sleeve. He gasped. There, right next to her plastic shoulder, was a matching tattoo with an image of Lenny in a flirtatious pose etched inside the heart. Rico stared sadly for a moment before somberly handing Lila to the rat. Immediately, Lenny hugged her tightly.

"Oh, baby!" He dipped her, giving her a kiss on the cheek, then lifted her to look straight into her plastic face. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I searched miles of sewer every day trying to find you after that storm swept you away. I spent hours and hours looking, but I never gave up. I knew I only wanted to be with you."

Rico watched sadly as the couple walked away, plastic hand in paw. As he watched them leave, slowly his brow furrowed in a look of complete determination. Running back to the car, he jumped into the driver's seat. He popped open the glove box where a picture of him together with Ms. Perky fell out. He held the photo in his flipper for just a moment before hitting the gas and speeding back towards the zoo.


Lemur Habitat: 2315 Hours

"Por favor, Richardo! Me Quiero!"

"No me quiero, Juanita! No me quiero!"

"Why, Richardo?!" shouted Julien, emotionally clutching a tissue. "Why do you not love her?!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Marlene. "We can't even understand what he's saying!"

"You do not need to be understanding them to see what is in their hearts."

"Are you crying?"

"No!" shouted Julien, rubbing his face. "I just got something in my eye."

"Where did you even get a TV?"


Back at the penguin base Private was standing in the middle of the room looking around with a perplexed expression.

"Has anyone seen the telly?"


"Can we just-"

"Eh-hem."

Everyone turned their heads to see Rico, standing on the ledge with a flirtatious look on his face and rolling his shoulder seductively. In one slide he made his way right past her four companions, going straight to Ms. Perky who sat with her ever present smile in front of the TV. With one smooth motion he swept her up into his strong flippers from her seat on the ground, twirling her in small circles before dipping her romantically and wiggling his brow.

"Ooh, baby."

Slowly, softly, he stroked her hair as he stared once more into the eyes of his beautiful, plastic girl, so happy to be reunited once more and savoring this perfect moment.

That is until a bamboo cane came crashing down full force right on top of his skull. Rico hit the ground face first as Marlene stood behind him, one paw angrily on her hip and the other clutching Julien's wooping stick.

"Nicely done, Marlene." said Julien, slightly impressed, as Maurice picked up Perky.

Slowly Rico got to his feet, rubbing his head. He looked angrily at Marlene. "Eh! Wat a bi idea?"

"Oh, I'll tell you what the big idea is!" said Marlene angrily. "You think that after all you did, leaving her out in the cold, dumping her for another doll, you think after all that you can just walk in here and get her back like nothing ever happened?!"

Rico stared at her. "Yep."

"Raaaaa!"

Marlene lunged at Rico, the fact that she was being held back by Mort and Maurice the only thing keeping her from clawing at Rico's already scared face.

"No, no. Let her go." said Julien, watching eagerly as he took another bite of ice cream.

Marlene jerked, freeing herself from the two lemurs. "Listen here, Rico, if you even want her to consider taking you back you're gonna have to do a lot better than waltzing in here like she belongs to you. Got it?"

"But-"

A mango hit Rico square in the face. As he wiped it off he looked up to see all four of them clutching various fruits in their hands. Rico only just managed to start running before the fruit started flying at him, whizzing around him and occasionally splattering right against him. It wasn't until he got to the wall surrounding the lemur habitat that the fruit barrage finally stopped.

"Ra gonna ra ba-oof!"

Rico cried out as another mango hit him square in the face.

"Nice shot." said Marlene from up on the ledge.

"Thank you." said Julien.

"Thank you? I'm the one who threw it!" said Maurice.

"Yes, and I am the one taking credit for it. See how that works?"

The four retreated back to their party, leaving Rico to stare up after them angrily. In his rage he hacked up his bazooka, taking aim, but slowly, as he prepared to pull the trigger, his anger faded to remorse. He shook his head. Now was no time for feeling sorry. Now was the time to make it right. He began to think.


Everyone stared as Rico stood on the ledge, smiling and holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a heart shaped box of chocolates in the other.

"Huh? Huh?"

The lemurs plus Marlene looked unimpressed, a sentiment they made all the more clear as they all held up their fruits and began pelting the psycho penguin once again. Rico screamed, trying to duck as he fled the scene, leaving his gifts behind. Maurice slowly walked over and picked up the chocolates.

"No sense in lettin' these go to waste."


Loud, metal scraping filled the air accompanied by bright, orange lights. The four peaked down off their ledge to see Rico wearing a pair of goggles and using a blowtorch to weld something under a giant sheet. After adding what appeared to be the final touches he removed the goggles, turned to the crowd, and pulled off the sheet. Underneath was a giant metal sculpture of Rico himself, lying in an alluring pose and holding a rose. He looked up hopefully, appealing to his judges with his eyes, however they all simply turned away and went back to watching their movie. Rico slumped sadly as a powerful metallic creaking filled the air. He looked up just in time to see his metal work start falling to pieces, many of those heavier pieces crashing down right on top of him.


The sounds of the propeller filled the air as Rico soared through the night skies in his tiny plain. As he flew through the air, he pressed a button causing a steady stream of smoke to start spewing out behind him. Gradually he began to use the smoke to draw a giant picture of himself and Ms. Perky together inside a giant heart. Just as he was starting to put on the final touches a red warning light began blinking on the console. Sparks started bursting from the front of the plane. Rico screamed as the plane went out of control, circling wildly through the air, shifting and blurring lines as smoke continued sputtering sporadically out of the tail pipe. In a panic, Rico started jerking on the yoke until it suddenly snapped off right in his hands. He screamed all the louder as the plane started spiraling towards the ground. Meanwhile, in the sky, the last of the smoke lines floated back into place only now instead of a picture of Rico and Ms. Perky inside a heart it looked almost exactly like Marlene and Julien.

From the ground both looked up to see their pictures together, highlighted against a starry background. They looked towards each other. Julien smiled, wiggling his eyebrows to which Marlene replied with a flat look, picking up a spoon full of ice cream and flicking it right into his face. Julien flailed around for a moment, blinded by the ice cream, before tripping and falling head first to the ground.


Over in central park the plane sat in a heap on the ground, now nothing more than a smoldering pile of slag. Over in the fountain a very wet Rico sat, his flipper under his chin in a pondering expression as his parachute floated on the water behind him. He thought for a long moment before suddenly a light bulb seemed to go off in his head.


At the lemur habitat Marlene was back to brushing Perky's hair while Julien was wiping down his face with a wet towel.

"I tell ya, at the rate he's going Rico is going to be at this for a long time before he even gets so much as a look from her. Am I right?"

"Yes, and I am to be at this for a long time before my fur is to stop being so sticky from the iced cream."said Julien, giving her a pointed look.

"Hot towel?" asked Maurice, holding one out.

"Thank you." Julien took the towel, laying it across his face. "Aaaah, much better. I can feel the stickiness melting away."

"Okay. So maybe it was a bit of an overreaction, but...Hey...do you hear that?"

Slowly, everyone looked up and started looking around.

"It's coming from over there." said Maurice. The four plus Perky, carried by Maurice, went over to the ledge, all laying down on the rock to get a better look. Below them, surrounded by bright purple and yellow lights, was Rico, strumming out what sounded like a soft ballad on an electric guitar.

"Baby!" he sang

"Oooh ba ju ba Baby!

Oooh Baby Baby!

Oooh Baby Baby~!

Baby. Baby!

Oooh ba ju ba Baby!

Oh Baby Baby Baaaaby!

Oh Baby. Baaaby!

Baby!"

As he continued to sing everyone watched with rapt attention.

"Is he...serenading her?" asked Marlene. "That is so romantic!"

"It's just like what Charlie did to Candy in 'Harley to San Juan'." said Maurice as he scooted forward to get a better look. However as he scooted, Perky, who was right beside him, was scooted up as well. For a moment she teetered just on the edge before falling, bumping off a couple rocks before landing perfectly seated in front of Rico, her ever present smile looking up at him as he belted out a series of hard riffs on his guitar.

Slowly, he lowered the guitar, and walked over to her, kneeling before her plastic form. He looked deep into her artificially painted blue eyes. He took her by the hand and gently raised her to her feet, staring at her for a long moment before embracing her in a tight hug just as a series of pyrotechnics lit up the stage. As the fires died down, Rico slowly led Ms. Perky away back towards their home.

"Awww, that was so sweet!" crooned Marlene. "You know, aside from the whole, creepy, dating an inanimate object thing that is" She shook her head. "And who said guys can't be sensitive?"

Every eye turned toward Julien who was tightly clutching a tissue, blubbering loudly as he watched the freaky couple walk away.

"What?! I just got ice cream in my eyes, okay?!"


~END~

Author's Note: Heeeey Happy Fanfiction people! Sparkles here with a new episode! I know it's a little late for Valentine's Day, but I hope you still enjoyed this gushy, romantic episode. Right quick I wanna give a shout out to my new friend Peach Italian Ice for being the first one to ever have a dream about my work. I feel so totally honored! Oh, and a shout out to my other new special friend Megan Snow who is such a totally awesome person!

So, update time! As I told you last chapter I was applying for a super big screenwriting opportunity and...I GOT IT! I'm so totally happy that they liked my scripts! However, now there's even bigger news! Now, in addition to that I'm applying to two OTHER super big opportunities, and, this is the best part, they both involve NICKELODEON STUDIOS! That's right! The home of Penguins of Madagascar! The first is the Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship, which, if I get it means I might be able to work as an actual screenwriter for Nickelodeon! And the second is the Nickelodeon Animated Shorts Competition (which is still going on if you're interested), which, if I get that, means that they might make one of my scripts into a real live animated short! They're both super big long shots, but I am confident that anything is possible! (Prayers requested)

For those of you thinking about screenwriting as a career and who want to know about the latest job opportunities that may be available make sure to like the Nickelodeon Writing Fellowship page on Facebook, and for you artistic types, they have an Artist Fellowship too!

And speaking of Nickelodeon, as you may or may not know the annual Kids Choice Awards are coming up. Now I'm not trying to influence your votes, buuuut Madagascar 3 is up for Best Animated Feature and since it is such a completely, unbelievably awesome movie and you can vote as many times as you want it would be nice if you submitted one or two votes for it. And by nice I mean GO VOTE FOR IT NOW, and by one or two votes I mean VOTE FOR IT AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE! LET'S GO PEOPLE!

And that's my Author's note for this chapter! I so super hope you enjoyed everything. Let me know what you think, kay? And as always thank you all for being the best, most awesome fans any writer could ever ask for. Your encouragement and support is one of the greatest gifts of my writing career. Until next time~!