Chapter 7: Deciding

BPOV

Emmett left a few minutes afterwards, because he had a dinner date with Rose. We had agreed to go speak to Renee during the weekend, and possibly go stay with Charlie. I knew he would have gotten the news, and would be totally heartbroken.

Besides the problems I faced with my parents, I had bigger problems to deal with. Studying English Literature in England was a wonderful opportunity. Nobody could argue that point against me, but that didn't solve my problems.

Four months without Edward, would be four months of torture, of not breathing. He was an essential part of my life, and without him I was empty. The change in his demeanor was painfully obvious the minute I mentioned my prize. I knew he wanted me to go, but he didn't want to be without me.

"Bella." I heard my angel say from the door. His look showed the pain and the confusion, and I felt like crying.

"We need to talk." I managed to say scooting to the top of the bed hugging my legs close to my body.

"What's there to talk about?" He asked sitting next to me. "You have a great opportunity, and I am very proud of you."

"Are you saying you won't care if I leave for four months?" I asked tears welling up in my eyes. I knew he was trying to pretend like it didn't bother him, but I could see right through him. His nonchalance was hurting him and me.

"Do you want the truth?" He inquired not looking at me, but studying the gold carpeting. I knew that the bravery he had built to come inside had disappeared.

"Edward," I whispered lifting his chin so that his eyes could look at mine.

"What do want me to say, Bella?" He said in frustration his eyes watering. "I want you to go and take advantage of this, but I'm selfish. I don't want to be away from you."

"Come with me." I suggested futilely, I knew he couldn't. It wasn't practical.

"You know I would if I could." He replied his eyes never leaving mine.

"Then do it." I cried as I made no movement to stop my tears. How could something that was suppose to be great for me, make me feel like crap.

"I can't, Bella. I have to take the MCATs and then I have my classes, it's not that easy." He explained wiping my tears with his thumb.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked in a whisper. If he told me not go, I wouldn't go. I needed him to say it.

"I can't decide for you, my love." He added and I knew it was killing him inside, but he wouldn't say it. "I won't stand in your way. I will support you. The only question is what do you want to do?"

"I want to go, but I want to stay with you. How can you want two things that you can't have?" I questioned crawling to his lap. I wanted him to hold me.

EPOV

I held on to Bella my nose taking in her wonderful smell. She smelled of freesias and strawberries. I wanted to tell her not to go, to tell her stay with me. Yet, I couldn't find the strength to do so. It wasn't my decision to make.

If she did go, I knew I was going to have an extremely hard time without her. I knew there were phone calls, email, and even webcams but it wasn't the same. Nothing could replace the feeling of having her in my arms or of kissing her goodnight.

I was more than willing to go with her, but I just couldn't drop everything and go. I had my tests to take at the end of January, and through everything I had my classes to worry about. An international transfer takes time and money. Money wasn't the issue, I would never get everything done in time to start the semester in England.

I tighten my grip on Bella whose sobs were turning into whimpers. Her small hands clung to the side of my shirt as if everything was about to disappear. I knew deep down that she would go, and I knew that those four months were going to be the longest and most painful months of my life.

BPOV

I woke up early Saturday morning looking at Edward who was still asleep on my side. I had already spoken to my Dr. Russell regarding everything. I would be leaving January 5 in time for classes that began January 7. It had taken me a while, but I had finally decided on going.

The decision still brought tears to my eyes whenever I though about the time we would be apart. However, Edward and I had set up dates for us to be together. He was going to fly over for Valentine's Day and his Spring Break, while I would fly to Seattle on my Spring Break. It was really the best we could do, but even that wasn't enough.

I closed my eyes willing myself to sleep, but I knew sleep wasn't coming. Today was going to be a very stressful day. Emmett and I were going to take a trip to Forks until tomorrow. Edward and Rose were also coming along for moral support. I knew this day was going to be incredibly difficult on Emmett and I.

"Edward, it's time to get up." I whispered kissing him softly. I didn't want to, but I would have to get up eventually. The sooner I got this over with, the better I would feel.

"Five more minutes." He mumbled snuggling into the pillow and pulling me on top of him. Edward always woke up easily during the weekdays, but he enjoyed sleeping in on weekends. It was practically impossible to wake him up, but I had no time today.

"Edward, we have to go to Forks. Emmett and Rose will be here in a half-hour." I tried to explain moving his arm.

He mumbled something incoherently his eyes not even opening. This was going to be a lot harder than I would've imagined. I hated leading Edward on, I never did. If I started something, I always made sure we could finish it. Besides it wasn't just Edward who got all hot bothered. The feeling was mutual.

I pushed Edward onto his back straddling his hips. I leaned down to kiss him, my hands roaming his chest. Edward rarely slept with a shirt on. My kisses trailed from his lips to his cheek and over to his ear. My hips moving against his.

I knew he was awake the moment his breathing increased and his hands came to my hips to guide them. "Time to get up." I whispered in his ear.

"I'm up." He teased with that grin that made me weak. The double meaning of his statement was not lost on me.

"We have to go." I said reluctantly getting up. We were definitely running late.

"You're such a tease." He commented sitting up.

"If you would've woken up when I told you, I wouldn't have had to." I reasoned walking towards him to give him a kiss. "Now lets get ready, I want to get this crap over with as soon as possible."

"Are you sure you don't want Rose and I to go with you guys to speak to your mom?" Edward asked for the millionth time as I disappeared into the closet to get my clothes.

"You know my mom hates you and Rose. If you two are there it will only aggravate the situation. You two can stay with my dad, he loves you guys." I answered.

EPOV

The idea of Bella going to speak to her mom scared me. She wasn't in any physical danger, but the danger was emotional and mental. Her mom wasn't a bad woman, she just wanted things done her way. She didn't accept Rose or me. According to her, Bella and Emmett were too young to have serious relationships. We were holding them back.

Bella always returned feeling depressed and unsure of herself. It usually took some time before I was able to help her regain her confidence in herself and us as a couple. Rose had confided that Emmett went through the same thing.

Her father, on the other hand, was a great person. He was very fond of Rose and I, and always made us feel welcomed. Yet, it was always heart wrenching to see the way he looked at his children. He watched them in awe, almost as if he couldn't believe that they were adults. Like if part of him still held on to the past, a past where he was still with his ex-wife.

Bella came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of jeans and a bra, I had to stop myself from going to her. The morning activities had left me excited, and if I touched her I wouldn't be accountable for my actions. She was to tempting for her own good. But that didn't mean I couldn't watch her.

"If you don't stop staring, we're going to be late." She commented with a grin causing me to chuckle.

"I thought I was subtle." I joked, getting up and grabbing a pair of jeans.

"I'm just perceptive." She replied with a wink going back into the closet.

We were ready right about the time Rose and Emmett arrived with Jasper. Jasper was staying the weekend over to keep Alice company. He really didn't need a reason to stay over, but he still feared my father. After all, Alice was my father's baby girl.

"You guys are just in time for breakfast." My mother said with a smile giving all three new arrivals a hug.

"You know we love your cooking, Esme." Emmett answered taking a seat at the table. "How are you doing, Squirt?" He asked Bella.

"I'm alright." She added while Rose rolled her eyes.

"You are honestly going to eat again, Emmett. I made us breakfast before coming." She stated taking a small cup of coffee. I knew we were all going to need it today.

"A growing boy needs his food." Emmett reasoned causing everyone to laugh.

"Emmett, you're twenty-two years old." I added.

"So?" He questioned digging into my mother's pancakes.

I looked over at Bella as she played with her food. I knew she hadn't had one bite to eat, she always stopped eating when she was nervous. Emmett, on the other hand, ate like a pig.

"You need to eat." I urged wrapping my arm around her.

"I'm not hungry." She whispered curling into my side.

"At least a few bites." I pushed picking up her fork to feed her. "It won't do you any good to stay hungry."

"Edward's right." My mom agreed sitting next to her.

"I'll eat." She relented taking a bite.

"Everything is going to be fine, my love." I added kissing her temple.

"You can't guarantee that." She argued dropping the fork after a few more bites. I knew she was right, I couldn't control the nonsense of her mother.

A/N: I know this chapter is a day late, but I am addicted to some new books. I just had to finish the one I was on. But fear not, I will keep writing. I was just hooked, and couldn't put the book down.

Is anyone not receiving email alerts into their inbox? I haven't been getting review alerts, private messages or email updates for the stories I'm reading. Does anybody know what is going on? Or how to fix it? Please let me know in a review, I can still read those when I sign in to my account. However, I'm not getting any private messages.

I know a lot of you want Edward to go with Bella, but he won't be. I'm sorry, but they need the time apart for everything to work. Please bare with me as we get to that point. I know there are going to be some very depressing chapters, but the happiness will come. Remember you can't learn to appreciate the good without the bad. I will not have Bella cheat on Edward or vice versa.

Next Chapter: Emmett and Bella talk to Renee and we catch up with Charlie

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