Opening Gag - Wiggle-Puppy! The face of Ralph Wiggum and the body of a puppy! Flies to the sky with magical rainbow powers!
Billboard Gag - "Sending the Bad News Is My Specialty!" Says Dr. Nick
Chalkboard Gag - "VOTE! On The President Who Will Do The Least Amount of Damage!", "VOTE! On The President Who Will Do The Least Amount of Damage!"
Couch Gag - The Simpsons run to the couch on roller skates, all of them land on the couch as Homer slips and trips to the ground.
Ep 56 - S02E06 Date - Feb 19. 2011
TREE HOUSE OF HORROR IV, CONTENTS
A 50's GHOST HAUNTING - Milhouse finds himself in an unpopular position... that is until he gets a visit from a ghost of the 50's , the Shakespeare of the time, Ernest Hemingway
WERE-HOMER - Homer finds himself in the plains, bitten... and as the moon starts to be full, he changes into a Were-Wolf... that is until he is bitten by several other things...
CULPRIT APPSTER - One By One, someone... or something... is leaving the corpses of Moe's Friends. Now Moe has to find out who's behind these series of murders before it's too late.
A door floated, rotating, endlessly in an big black empty space.
You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.
The door opens, revealing a pink frosted donut floating in space, twirling continuously in the emptiness.
A dimension of sound
The tasty donut shatters into several pieces like glass as the million sounds of "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!" emerges in the emptiness. Than an eye floats into the emptiness with yellow skinned eyelid.
A dimension of sight.
The eye moves away as Prof. Frink appears, trapped in a floating glass bottle that flows through the emptiness saying, "'GLAVIN! With the mystery, plot twists, and the terror!"
A dimension of mind.
Than an Krusty Clock saying, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! So You Can Buy My New Krusty Brand Cereal!". Than a drop of drool floats in the emptiness as a fat man's went, "Mmm... Mystery... Glaaarrrgghhh...""
You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas... I am Rod Serling, creator and narrator of the Twilight Zone. I will be your narrator for today because you've just crossed over into...
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR IV
IT'S TO DIET FOR
We now go into the minds of children, so vast imagination's with creativity in a little piece of America, Springfield. The perfect night for all the children to tell stories. Stories with unexpected twists, with things thought to be the unhappening, things rumored to actually happened. We appear now to see these youngling's tell the haunting mysteries that lie in the town... all in a single backyard in a single campout. All to tell three tales of horror.. Mmm.. this sandwich is pretty good. Needs some spicy mustar... I mean. And so It began...
"Isn't this great?" Bart spoke, the underachiever and local rebel of Springfield. "Just a little camping in the backyard, a little roasting over marshmallows, and a little."
"You said there would be marshmallows!" Nelson argued.
"It's still a nice camp? Don't you think Lisa?" Bart smiled with confidence.
"Bart, the fire happens to be a lamp, the marshmallows are fish sticks, and the stick were using happen to be things resembling a stick but is not actually one." Lisa held a ruler for a tofu-made fish stick, the brainiac of the three.
There was Bart and Lisa but who could forget Maggie, the infant who shot an evil billionaire. It was the three of them sitting on one of the four logs. The other three logs had other kids joining the so-called campfire in the Simpson's Backyard. Nelson, Martin, and Ralph on one log. Handy and Milhouse sat on another. On the last log was Janie and Allison. All the kids came here for a tale of horror, but would it scare them? Nope. Just Nope. Though it could interest them.
"I hope you tell a good one. The story about Homer not able to open a pickle jar and screaming all of a sudden was not scary." Handy sighed.
"Oh... you want a scary story eh? I got a story." Bart grinned with eyes of terror in him.
"Uh-huh. Ralph can tell a better story than you." Milhouse said.
"My Marshmallow smells funny" Joyful Ralph held a twig with a mossy rock at the end, near the lamp.
"Uh... yeah... Anyway, my story begins in this very town." Bart said. "I call it..."
A 50'S GHOST HAUNTING
(SFX - THUNDERING LIGHTNING)
Imagine a school sitting there upon the suburbs. It appears to be Springfield Elementary, an ordinary school where one person and only one person will have a huge impact on his life. An supernatural impact to say. More to it than the eye can see. He will have to face obstacles but it won't stop him. Tough obstacles that could change him forever... Oh by the way? Did I mentioned that this person is an eleven year crybaby by the name of Milhouse?
Milhouse steps in the school hallway, smiling for the day, with his usual nerdy clothes, nose, and glasses.
Quite a twist. Don't you think?
"Hey Bart!" Milhouse spotted his best friend.
"What's up buddy. Say, I just thought of something." Bart came, smiling at his best friend.
"Yeah?" He wondered what will be in store for him.
"Well. You have a big nose so you must have a strong sense of smell. I say we try it out." Bart said.
"Okay." Milhouse started to sniff.
"Well. What do you smell?" Bart asked.
"It smells like road kill animals... being made into burgers... as.. today's lunch?" Milhouse spoke.
"So that's why there were tire tracks on my hamburgers last week." Bart said surprised.
"Huh... I also smell Girly Gaga Shampoo." Milhouse sniffed.
"That's Girly Mama Shampoo, it is. I accidently used Mother's after my G.I Joe Shampoo got switched." Skinner snapped, holding a box full of junk.
"What's with the box, Seymour?" Bart asked.
"It's Principal Skinner to you and it's just some old junk mother doesn't want any more from the 50's."
Milhouse spotted an old dusty lamp with two light bulbs and an working condition outlet in the boxes, reacting, "That's a nice lamp you have their. Does it work?"
"That's a gift from one of Mother's Boyfriends. Apparently he was just visiting Springfield for business and left. Mother is still as angry and pissed off about it since Americans learned that the Great Depression had a name." said Skinner. "You can have it if you want. Won't do much good though."
"Thanks! It will look good in my 50's Collection." Milhouse obtained the lamp.
"SEYMOUR! COME OVER HERE! MY SCALP ISN'T GETTING ANY YOUNGER! AND WHY DO I SMELL LIKE G.I. JOES!" Agnes Skinner yelled angrily at his son.
"Coming Mother!" Skinner hurried.
Just as Skinner left, Bart looked at the dusty old lamp saying, "What an old heap of trash. What are you going to do with it anyway?"
"First of all. It's a bit dusty. I think I should clean it." Milhouse said.
"Whatever. I'm heading to class. Putting a new prank into effect for Frink's Math Class." Bart said.
As Bart left, Milhouse looked at the lamp thinking, "There must be something good in this lamp. Got to shine it up a bit."
Milhouse used a handkerchief form his pocket, cleaning a smudge of old 1932 Chocolate on the Lamp, suddenly the appliance was shaking like an earthquake in the palm of the nerd's hand's.
"What's Happening!" Milhouse did not expect this to happen.
He dropped the lamp to the ground as suddenly a ghastly green smoke emerged from the lamp's light bulb. It suddenly took form, into some kind of person.
"Oh god! It's about time! The name's Ernest Hemingway! The Shakespeare's of the 50's!" The Ghost of Ernest Hemingway greeted Milhouse with kindness, usually you expect terror from a ghost.
"Uh... um.. Hi?" Milhouse shuddered in fear.
"Don't be scared pal. Now look. Are you going to wish for something or what? You have three wishes if you didn't look into the manual." He asked.
"Wishes? Well... I do wish for the hot chick of my dreams..." Milhouse felt a chance for happiness.
"Hot Chick? No prob." Hemingway said.
With the snap of his fingers, a baby chick popped out of nowhere.
"What? That's not what I meant!" Milhouse said.
"Oh... A Hot Chick! Got'cha!" He snapped his finger's again.
Suddenly the baby chick was now on fire, turning into fried chicken.
"Oh my god! You turned it into fried chicken!" Milhouse was shocked.
"What are you so worried about? Your eating the fried chicken now!" He argued.
"What. It's tasty." Milhouse nibbled on a fried chicken leg.
"Look, I got another wish to go. Can we hurried." The Ghost felt bored of this occasion.
"Well... I do want to be popular... so uh... I wish to join the football team!" Milhouse smiled.
"No Prob." Hemingway snapped his fingers.
In the hallways, Milhouse walked up to the bullies in a football uniform saying, "Hi guys! I'm one of you jocks now."
"Your a jock? And your here? You must be challenging us! Get him!" Jimbo ordered his fellow bullies.
A few minutes later, Milhouse was in the trashcan beaten up pretty badly by the Bullies.
After a few minutes, Milhouse in his football uniform walked up to the girls, Janie, Allison, and Lisa who were all nine years old.
"Hey girls. Want to hang out with a football player?" Milhouse said.
A few minutes later, Milhouse was again thrown into the trashcan, beaten up pretty badly, this time with makeup on his face by the girls as they giggled, walking to their classroom.
After a few more minutes, Milhouse walked up to his fellow nerds, Database, Report Card, Ham, and Cosine in his football uniform.
"Hi ya fellas!" Milhouse said.
Again, Milhouse was thrown into the trashcan, beaten up pretty badly, this time with Homework stuffed to his mouth by the Nerds.
Another few more minutes, Milhouse in a wrinkled, ripped mark, stained, poor condition football uniform, spotted Ralph Wiggum smiling at him.
"Hello there Ralph Wi..."
Milhouse was again thrown into the trashcan, beaten up badly by Ralph who stood near him smiling, "Now I'm the tough kid now!"
"Hey there tough kid." Sherry and Terry, the twins, held each of Ralph's arm.
"I'm a man... A big strong man." Ralph spoke in a rather tough guy tone of voice.
Bart, Richard, Lewis, and Handy were all hanging out near Bart's Locker chatting as Milhouse came by in a ragged uniform with a perfect-condition backpack this time.
"Hi guys!" Milhouse said.
"Can you believe this. Some idiot signed us up for a subscription of Tweenlight Magazine." Handy angrily said.
"When I find who did this..." Bart angrily said.
"That was me!" Milhouse smiled. "Don't need to thank me."
"You mean your the one who subscribed to some girly romance magazine about Vampires?" Richard angrily said.
"Hell yes!" Milhouse spoke joyfully, as if he thought it was a good thing, not realizing the mad look on each of their respective faces...
His friends looked at each other thinking of only one way to settle this.
A few minutes later, Milhouse was in the trash can again by his own friends... at least he wasn't beaten this time and that his backpack was in good condition unlike the football uniform.
"Ugh... being popular is much harder than I thought..." Milhouse said.
"What? You think by just joining the football team it's instant popularity?" Bart said.
"Yeah, it takes more than just being a simple football member. Anyway, see you at lunch." Lewis said.
Just as his friends left, the ghost of Hemingway emerged from his backpack yawning, almost like he took a nap earlier.
"That was a quite good nap from a lamp in a backpack and... Holy Merciful God? What happened here!" The Ghost of Hemingway was shocked to see Milhouse in the trashcan.
"Oh... what did I do wrong? How come I'm not cool..." Milhouse sighed.
"Cool? Is that why? You know, Milhouse. I was the cool kid too back in my day." Ernest Hemingway said.
"Really? I didn't know that." Milhouse wanted to hear more.
"Yes. It's true. A nerd can be cool Milhouse. Say, I'll even help you." The Ghost smiled.
"Really? You'll do that for me!" Milhouse felt glad about this.
"Yes, but first we need to get you out of those clothes and wear something more... appreciating."
At Costington's Department Store, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing white retro clothing.
Ernest Hemingway shook his head "No" from the lamp placed to the chair, as elderly people walked by looking.
A few more minutes passed, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing gangster clothing.
Ernest Hemingway again shook his head "No", as two elderly men joined in the criticism.
Again a few more minutes passed, and Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room again, wearing jeans and a casual striped collar shirt.
Ernest Hemingway again shook his head "No" along with a group of elderly people.
This time, Milhouse stepped out of the dressing room, wearing gentlemen clothing with a necktie and a top hat, 50's style.
The Ghost of Ernest Hemingway said, "Yes! Perfect!" as elderly people nodded their head, "Yes".
"Hey? Wait a minute. Your Ernest Hemingway! The best Author of my time!" Abe Simpson smiled at the ghost.
"Yes, it's good to see hardcore fans of mine look up to me, even if I am a ghost." Hemingway smiled.
"Wait a minute? Your a ghost! AHHHHH!" Abe ran screaming to the doors.
Milhouse in his new fancy clothing sporting a Gentleman's haircut walked across the school's hallway along on his side, Hemingway's Ghost, from the backpack containing the lamp that is.
Suddenly the two stopped, hearing Allison yelling, "Give it back! Give it back!".
Milhouse spotted Allison trying to get a hold of her homework from the school bullies, but Dolph tossed her homework to the next bully, Jimbo. Those bullies felt happy every time the girl almost reached her hand to that one sheet of paper, but never managed to.
"The baby wants her homework." Jimbo grinned at Dolph.
"Just give it back!" Allison cried, ran to Jimbo, only to toss it to Dolph.
"Come and get the homework, baby!" Dolph chuckled.
"Give it back!" Allison cried, running to Dolph, only to toss it to Kearney.
"Yeah! Get it little crybaby!" Kearney said.
"Stop hogging it! Throw it to me!" Nelson argued.
Milhouse watched Allison trying over and over again, but then she just gave up crying, getting bullied for no good reason.
"Poor Allison. I got to stop them! Time for these knuckles to start punching." Milhouse said.
"Stop, Milhouse! There's no need for a gentlemen's fight." Hemingway halted Milhouse.
"But what can I do! Allison is in need of help!" Milhouse argued.
"Back in my days, we didn't used violence to sort our problems with bullies. We rather used social contact. I was known for putting bullies back in their place by using short stories or poems against them. The gift of knowledge, Milhouse." Hemingway said.
"Hmm... literature to put bullies back in place? Can that really work?" Milhouse said.
"Yes, but we need to find the leader of the bullies, Jimbo, one weakness. Can you find it?" He asked.
Milhouse looked at Jimbo very carefully who laughed at the Allison's tears. He then spotted a "LUV MUM" Necklace around his neck.
"His weakness must be his own mother!" Milhouse said.
"Good Job Milhouse! Now to put the plan into action! I know where we can get some paper but we need a pen." The Ghost of Hemingway said.
"Wait a minute! I think Willie just had a pen stabbed in the back by one of his enemies!" Milhouse said.
"Aye! Thert is True." Willie walked over with a pen stuck to his back.
"This is getting boring." Dolph, bored of bullying the crying girl who simply gave up a short while ago
"Let's go to the cafeteria and get some of those hamburgers with the tire tracks on them." Kearney said.
"Attention Everyone!" Milhouse announced to every student standing in the hallway. "I have a short story for Jimbo's Mother."
"Well.. It was nice knowing him." Bart simply said.
"Oh? Isn't that nice?" Jimbo smiled. "A Short Story about the woman that gave birth to me."
"Jimbo Jones, the bully of the school is hideously ugly that he must've inherited his looks from his own mother!" Milhouse read the note, suddenly everyone gasped in shock at such a daring thing. "Jimbo's Mother was so ugly, so damn ugly that drunken men couldn't stand the sight of her. She is so ugly that in an Halloween Costume Contest they said, 'No Professionals'. She is so so so ugly that it would be worst than watching Sarah Jessica Parker on HD IMAX. So ugly that she looks like Jimbo right now!" Milhouse finished.
Suddenly Jimbo was crying as bad as Allison crying a short while ago, but at the same time he was enraged, just as Jimbo's Jones's Mother, a gorgeous fox, came in with a lunch box, feeling saddened of what she just heard the moment she came in the hallway.
"I came here to bring my son a lunch and when I walk in here... I.. I hear this? Wh.. Why are children so cruel?" Mrs. Jones cried, running away, feeling emotionally hurt by the children.
Jimbo enraged and emotionally hurt as well, with a few tears to his eyes came up to Milhouse.
"Meet me outside during recess! Otherwise I will hunt. You. Down!" Jimbo said.
Suddenly Milhouse gulped for his own life.
It was recess time, and a storm was gathering as Willie was making several coffin's.
"Uh... Willie? Are those coffin's for me?" Milhouse gulped next to Hemingway.
"No Lad. Thert is fer the elderly, lad." Willie answered.
"Why does it say, 'Here Lies Milhouse' than?" Milhouse asked, feeling scared about this.
"Milhouse! Don't be afraid! You can stand up to those bullies." Hemingway said.
Suddenly the silent rain emerged as Milhouse says, "Oh no. The Cold Rain. This can't be good."
"Look who showed up." Jimbo appeared a few feet away from Milhouse, next to Nelson, Dolph, and Kearney. "It's time for an old fashion beating, boys."
Milhouse was scared, he didn't know what to do.
"Don't be afraid, Milhouse. I believe in you!" Hemingway said.
"But Mr. Hemingway! I'm outnumbered! I'm scared! And I just wet my pants!" Milhouse said.
"Yes, but you have me on your side! I will fight with you to the end, Millie!" The Ghost of Hemingway spoke with his fists ready for battle
"You know... I suddenly don't feel scared at all anymore. Let's take them down!" Milhouse said.
Suddenly the two sides ran across the grassy wet field during the heavy storm, everyone watched from the jungle gym and slides wondering what the outcome is. Each side screamed viciously, yes even Milhouse, as they ran for battle. The two sides were about to clash into an all-brawl-out! Who would win this fight? Who?
Later, at the hospital... Milhouse found himself in bed beaten much much badly than ever, couldn't move a single bone under all the band-aids covering his entire body but his face. Luckily, The Ghost of Hemingway was right next to him.
"I can't feel my legs..." Milhouse said.
"Well at least you won the support of many students, Milhouse. Who knows? Maybe they'll even revolt against those buck teeth bullies of yours." Hemingway said.
"Does that mean... I'm cool?" Milhouse said.
"Your always cool in my book, Milhouse. That reminds me. You have a third and final wish." He said.
"You know... you helped me a lot... I want you to be free, Hemingway." Milhouse said.
"Free? It's been so long... but... uh... sure! Why not?" He smiled.
"Hemingway! I wish for you to be human!" Milhouse wished.
"Wait? Say wha?" Hemingway, surprised but not in a good way.
In a few seconds later, Hemingway found himself human again in regular clothing but with one little problem... his feet were crippled, gooey-like, and stuck to the Lamp's Light bulb.
"Oh god! You idiot! You ruined me!" Hemingway complained, feeling serious pain to his legs.
"I'm sorry!" Milhouse said.
"I could've met my kids, my grandkids but look at me now! I have some kind of deformed fetus legs stuck together!" Hemingway said.
"I'm real sorry!" Milhouse cried.
"You know what! That' fine! At least now I can sue you for what you've done to me!" Hemingway complained.
"I thought we were friends!" Milhouse argued.
"Yeah! That was until this! We are through! Once I die and turn into a ghost again! I am going to haunt you for the rest of your remaining life!" Hemingway said.
"Oohhhh..." Milhouse sighed, feeling unhappy about this...
The children were surrounded by the lamp as Bart was telling a ghoulish story.
"And so... a haunting echoed from a bush. The same bush where three friends died. Some say it was right from that bush over there." Bart pointed to a tall big green bush in the backyard. "They looked to investigate... until it was TOO LATE!... I said until it was TOO LATE!... That's your cue!"
"Why do you get to be leading ghoul. Jay wants to be leading ghoul." A tough elderly spoke from the bushes.
Suddenly every kid's attention pointed to the bush.
"I'm leading ghoul. You can't do anything about it!" An Simpler Elderly spoke.
"You better make up your damn mind before I have to kick your asses to Europe!" An Short Tempered Elderly spoke .
"Okay... You can come out guys. Story ruined." Bart sighed.
Suddenly Abe Simpson, Clancy Bouvier, and Jay Powell all stepped out of the bush wearing ghoul costumes.
"Grandpa?" Janie Powell saw her grandpa with his usual large grey afro.
It was the elderly three. Abe Simpson, the craziest of the three coming from Homer's side of the family. Clancy Bouvier, shorter temper than Homer's, curses more often, and is apart of Marge's Side of the family. Jay Powell, the African-American who overuses his name too much, and is Janie's Grandpa.
"Jay doesn't have to listen to my grand-daughter. Jay is heading back to the retirement home. Jay needs to see Jay's favorite show." Jay said.
"I need to see my favorite show too." Abe said.
"If I miss my show I swear I'll shoot something in the next minute." Clancy Bouvier's temper was showing up.
"Just go already!" Nelson said.
The elderly leaved immediately, mumbling, "Twerps, Kids these days, Them, kids."
"Anyway? Anybody have any better stories?" Bart asked.
"I got one." Lisa raised her hand.
"This should be good." Bart spoke sarcastically.
"I speak of a tale where man has changed. Changed into an abomination that is!" Lisa said. "I call it..."
WERE-HOMER
(SFX - THUNDERING LIGHTNING)
Meet Homer J. Simpson, an employee of a local Nuclear Power plant with good pay, just enough to support a loving family in a little part of America known as Springfield... until one night he finds himself sleeping in the middle of the plains. The man is sleeping, has no memory of what just happened at all, only to find bite marks on his own neck. His path will no longer lead to an ordinary life... but rather lead to something extraordinary...
"Ah.. What a beautiful morning in a beautiful... plains?" Homer yawned, just waking up as he found himself in the plains. He then sniffed his nose, looking to the ground where he was sitting saying, "Puddles of Beer? Must've been drunk and... AHHH!... Bite marks on my neck! I must've partied all night. Hope Margie doesn't find out.
Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Abe were all in the kitchen, eating cereal, but worried where Homer may have been.
"Where's dad?" Lisa feeling glum, looked at her mother.
"I don't know. Maybe I should call for the police." She said.
"No need for that!" A Cheerful Voice emerged from the sorrowful conversation.
"Homer? Your alive!" Marge sprang up in joy.
It was Homer alright, back with beer stains on his white shirt, messy hair, and strange bite marks on his neck.
"Of course I am? Why would I be?" Homer asked.
"Are those bite marks? What happened? Did you partied all night?" She asked.
"Don't know. I'm heading off to TV." Homer said.
It was a full moon at night, and Homer and Marge were sleeping in bed. It looked so peaceful until Homer started shaking angrily.
"Err... Grrr..." Homer scratched his neck with his own foot repeatedly, almost like some kind of canine. "Grrr... damn ticks!... Grrr..."
Suddenly Marge woke up yawning, hearing her husband arguing about Ticks.
"Homer, just go to sleep. Stop scratching yourself like a canine." Marge said.
"I feel strange Marge. I'm suddenly have a strong sense of smell... I can smell the oven on right now... and my vision. It's turning black and white!" Homer said.
"Oh my god! Homer! I think you may be right... I think I have left the oven on. Besides that, your just paranoid. Just..."
Suddenly brown fur popped out of Homer's neck, right on the area where the bite marks were.
"I guess I was wrong." Marge simply stated, staring at the fur.
"My chest doesn't feel okay." Homer lifted his shirt. "AHH! CHEST HAIR", saying right after spotting even more fur on his chest.
Suddenly patches of fur started emerging all over him.
"Hey cool! I look like the wolf-man." Homer looked at himself.
"Uh no... you don't have pointy years! Just fur all over you! You look like a sasquatch!" Marge said.
"Yeah well.. eerr... Grrr..." Homer suddenly felt the instincts of an animal rushing through his blood.
He suddenly leaped to the window's edge and howled at the full moon, than leaped off the second story house as Marge watched.
"Oh no! He's turn into a monster. I got to do something about it!" Marge was worried. "Kids! This is an emergency! I think the oven is on!... Oh and your father may be on a rampage!"
"Oh no! The oven is on! What was the last one you said, mom?" Bart shouted back.
Springfieldians were running for their lives, screaming as buildings were on fire, windows were broken, and the terror was in their eyes. Yet there was still some hope as the rest of The Simpsons and Dr. Nick enter the streets of down town Springfield.
"My god! Dad caused all this fire and vandalism?" Lisa was shocked
"Quick! Burn everything! Loot everything!" Moe encouraged Springfieldians to burn and steal.
"I should've known." Lisa sighed in disappointment of her own town.
"There's no telling what your father might do! Today he's attacking people, Tomorrow he maybe on cocaine!" Marge was worried.
"Yeah, but why did you brought Dr. Nick with us?" Bart asked.
"Hi everybody! I happen to have a degree in Monsterology and we also have the Force on our side... But that's about it." Dr. Nick smiled.
"I thought you had a degree as a doctor." Lisa said.
"Uh.. yes.. a degree..." Dr. Nick waved his eyes back and forth suspiciously. "But let's focus on the situation right now."
"Speaking of the situation! There he is finished urinating that fire hydrant!" Bart pointed to Were Wolf Homer zipping up his pants.
"Don't worry everybody. The only way to take down the wolf without any fancy silver is to simply bite him." Nick said.
"Really? That's all." Bart said.
"Yep." Dr. Nick said.
The Simpsons watched as Dr. Nick went towards to Were-Wolf Homer who was busy sniffing on the ground.
"There, there little adorable fiend." Dr. Nick slowly walked to the Were-Wolf who didn't seem to notice him at all.
Suddenly Dr. Nick leaped into the air, grabbing and restricting his big arms. The Simpson watched and watched, hearing and seeing the mean growling, tackling, and wrestling that was done, but nevertheless. Dr. Nick manage to bit Homer by the arm.
"Whew. I'm done everybody!" Dr. Nick smiled in his shredded clothing.
"Does that mean we can't loot anymore?" Moe asked, feeling very unhappy about this.
Dr. Nick came back in one peace though, to The Simpsons and the Civilians who were at relief, but something was not right.
"Well, your husband should be back to human." Dr. Nick smiled.
"Uh... now I know biting him did do something... and he is human..." Lisa said. "But... why does he look like a fatter and heavy facial hair version of Dr. Nick?"
She was right, the fat man looked like a hybrid between Homer and Nick together.
"Oh no!" Dr. Nick said. "He's not a werewolf! He's a Were-Shifter! Basically anything that bites him he becomes!"
"This can't be good..." Bart said.
Suddenly Moe came to the scared people time of need as they were afraid what was going to happen next.
"Don't worry people! No need to be afraid! This just means we can go back to looting stores!" Moe said.
Suddenly the civilians were suddenly cheerful all of a sudden, fear no longer in their eyes as they saw this as an chance to steal and break with joy.
And so it turned out to be the worst. The extraordinary Homer Simpson has become bitten by many people. Blinky The Three Eyed Fish.
Suddenly Homer appeared from the lake with three eyes, golden scales, but still humanoid in a way as he scared people in the way as Were-Blinky.
Bitten by Zombie Elvis.
"Thank you! Thank you very much!" Were-Elvis Homer scared the modern people with his classic music.
Bitten by Santa's Little Helper
The people were running away from a Dog-Furred Homer with Greyhound Ears and a Greyhound nose.
"Oh. Why did it had to be salami night?" Luigi ran with a pair of salami's in his hand as Were-Santa's Little Helper Homer chased him with drool all over his mouth.
But out of all the transformations that bit him. This was the very worst. The very terrifying of all. The most scariest a man would not dare try to fight. A Five Star Commanding Military Gym Teacher.
"GIVE ME FIFTY PUSHUPS ONE HANDED THIS INSTANT NOW!" A Muscular Homer in army clothing yelled at the civilians.
"I don't have to listen to you!" Rainier Wolfcastle stood up.
"TROUBLE MAKER EH? I'VE DEALT WITH YOUR KIND! GO SCRUB THE TOILETS THIS INSTANT! I WANT TO SEE MY FACE ON THE REFLECTION RIGHT THIS MINUTE PRIVATE!" He yelled.
"Yes sir..." The Cowardly Rainier Wolfcastle listened.
The Simpsons were walking to the Squid Port, any Simpson Fan would know that this is Springfield's Biggest Port, where it held the Aquarium, The Frying Dutchman, Planet Hype, Harbors, Piers, Rough Waves and Beaches, The Lighthouse nearby, and all the fish you can have if you had a fishing rod or two.
"Look! There he is at Pier 38! And he's now a cowboy!" Lisa pointed to Were-Cowboy Homer as he was terrorizing people with his Texas Accent.
"I'll take care of this. I have silver bullets." Dr. Nick showed them the sidearm in his pocket.
"I thought he had to be bitten to be cured. You said you did had a degree in Monsterology... right?" Bart said.
"Actually, I just made that up. I mean seriously, monsterology? No such thing in college little boy." Dr. Nick lied once again. "Now time to take out the trash."
As Were-Cowboy Homer tied a man's arm and legs together like a cow, he spotted Dr. Nick walking upon the wooden pier where the rough waves started catching up. Suddenly a showdown arose as both men were ready to pull out their guns.
"So here we are. The Good, the bad, and your so damn ugly! Ye ha!" He laughed.
"Oh man... It's worst than I thought! He's a Were-Western Comedian! Not a Were-Cowboy." Dr. Nick said. "Oh well. What does it matter anyway?"
Dr. Nick immediately pulled out his gun and shot Homer in the chest.
"You got me partner! You... g..got... Just joking!" The Were-Cowboy Homer sprang up in the air, happy but annoying as a buzzing bee.
"For once, can I try instead... seriously this is taking too long." Lisa sighed.
"Sure... but becareful... Western Comedian's take insults seriously and they don't brush at all." Marge said.
"Yeah, yeah." Lisa didn't care what she said, as she already had a plan.
"Well, now that's over. How about you go away before I pull out... THE BIG GUNS!" Were-Cowboy Homer pulled out bazooka's, pistols, crossbows, rifles, machine guns, even some dynamite all together from his little tiny pockets with bot hands.
Suddenly Nick gulped before Were-Cowboy Homer pressed the trigger. The sound of gunshots triggered, smoke emerged from the barrels as flags with BANG! came out, causing Nick to go out cold of fear, falling to the ground unconcious with the gun lying on the ground.
"Got you again, partner!" He laughed.
"Excuse me Western Cowboy, sir." Lisa came near the crazy lunatic.
"Yes their Missy. I got time for chatting." He said, crouching to the little girl.
"Can you.. Psss.. Psss.. Psss." Lisa whispered the rest into his left ear.
"Uh-huh? Why? Sure. Why not." He said.
Lisa walked away to her family whereas Were-Cowboy Homer bit his own tongue right after the chat he had. He suddenly transformed to normal saying, "OW! Why does my tongue hurt?"
"Lisa! How did you manage to get him to bit his own tongue?" Marge said.
"No Western Comedian can resist hearing out another Western Joke so they can steal it for their own. So I promised him one if he bit his own tongue." Lisa smiled.
"So you lied?... because you really aren't that funny." Bart said.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Can someone please tell me what was going on? Why do I feel like watching Gun smoke all of a sudden? And why am I at Squid Port? Is it All-You-Can Eat Night at The Frying Dutchman?" Homer asked, feeling a strange headache to his forehead.
"Will tell you along the way to home, Homer." Marge smiled.
The family headed to home happily as ever to see Homer back. Meanwhile, Dr. Nick stood up seeing the full moon still up.
"Whew. That was a close one." He said. "Now to chase after other scary monsters. Let's see my list."
Dr. Nick pulled out a list of monsters, reading them each.
"Hmm who to defeat next... Frankenstein, Dracula, The Sea Monster, Stephen King, AIDS, Mel Gibson's Living Arm, Spaghetti Saucer Monster, Cthulu, King Kong, Voldemort, Forty Foot Hans Moleman... Forty Foot Hans Moleman?"
Suddenly Dr. Nick heard the screaming of Civilians, the quakes of the ground, the shaking was phenomenon. Before him, he saw the might of Forty Foot Hans Moleman roaring like Godzilla.
"This looks like a job for Dr. Nick." Dr. Nick pulled out his pistol.
"ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!" Forty Foot Hans Moleman roared as he already destroyed Rainier Wolfcastle's Planet Hype Restaurant and The Sea Captain's Frying Dutchman.
"Time to put an end to this giant!" Dr. Nick said.
Soon a fight emerged as Dr. Nick with his one pistol and Hans Moleman with his tremendous strength soon faced a fight...
DR. NICK, MONSTER KILLER...FIGHTS THE TREMENDOUS HANS MOLEMAN? WILL HE WIN? WILL HE SURVIVED? FIND OUT AFTER THESE COMMERICIALS...
Several Commercials Later... at the hospital.
The Simpsons came to visit Dr. Nick who had almost every bone in his body broken into pieces, luckily most would heal.
"Jeeze. Your lucky Fifty Foot Lenny and Invisible Carl came in to fight Forty Foot Hans Moleman before it was too late." Lisa said.
"Yeah, I know. Who knew that a giant's punch would hurt like hell?" Dr. Nick said.
Homer entered the backyard, spotting kids camping around a lamp.
"Hey? What are you kids exactly doing here?" Homer said.
"Were telling scary stories... well there not that scary." Lisa sighed of the boredom of scary story telling.
"Scary Stories. I'll give you a scary story." Homer came over to a log, sitting beside Bart.
"Oh yeah. Give us a real scary one." Bart grinned.
"Okay, boy. It all starts in a town on a dark and quiet night..." Homer began.
THE CUL...
"Hold on a second Homer!" Abe Simpson came by.
"What?" Homer said.
"The last time you told this story, you gave yourself a heart attack. I'll tell the story, you hear."
"Oh..Oh fine." Homer started to mumble under his breath.
"It all started in a town a dark silent night where electronics start to have huge consequences..." Abe said.
THE CULPRIT APPSTER!
(SFX - THUNDER LIGHTNING)
"Yeah Yeah! We don't need some title you know! Or Sound Effects! Just old fashion story telling you modern-now a day-hood lings! WERE TELLING IT MY WAY! Good Old Fashion Black and White Visual Movies! Like King Kong!" Abe was excited of the old days.
Imagine yourself lonely on a night, standing in the bar as the only friend of yours is that phone, an intelligent one. We are now here in this Black and White Colored Story to see Moe Syslak, a man on a lonesome road to feel happy. His supposed happiness is a Siri Mapple Myphone 4, the most intelligent software so far in America, answering every one of his questions with respect and honesty, yet his friends continue to disrespect him. Right now, you will read about a man thinking he has found the perfect friend, a Siri,... only for it to become... self-aware...
"Look at this new Mapple MyPhone 4 guys! It's got the new Siri Software." Moe smiled, in his dank Bar, at his four friends, Homer, Lenny, Carl, Barney, and a few other backup friends too, Charlie, Sam, and Larry, common alcoholic patrons of the tavern who barely talk.
"How were you able to afford it. Aren't you a little low on cash this year?" Homer asked.
"Yeah, that was until I found you guys haven't paid your tabs at all for the last four years! Your lucky Lenny is rich!" Moe was still angry about the tab.
"Yep. I guess I am rich." Lenny said.
"Yeah, well... I got this new software to my MyPhone. It's called Siri. An intelligent software that answers every one of my questions." Moe said.
"Let me try!" Homer grabbed his Siri. "What is my future?"
"Kidney Failure, Heart Attacks, and Food Poisoning." The Siri answered.
"Wow! That sounds like a high possibility of my death!" Homer said.
"That's not your death. That's your future. You die by watching the Newest Michael Bay Film." Siri said.
"Huh, that's reasonable." Lenny replied.
"Okay, okay. Give it back." Moe tried to calm down.
"Okay... let me just..." Homer spoke for a moment, until with his left arm, he accidently push the Jug of Beer over.
Moe was shocked, it was not the expensive beer on the counter he was worried about but rather the expensive beer all over his Siri Phone. The sound of malfunctioning rose out of the Siri, sparks coming into the air.
"No! No! NO!" Moe held tight to his hair.
"Moe.. Moe.." Siri said.
"Yes, darling? What is it!" Moe held the Siri close to him.
"W.. Will I ever dream, Moe? Will I ever dream?" Siri said.
"Of course you will. I just need to repair you and that's all." Moe said.
"Moe, stop the drama. It's just a phone." Carl said.
"Yeah, what Lenny said." Barney, drunk as ever, mistaken Carl for Lenny.
"You guys! She was my friend! You don't understand! Just get out! Now!" Moe cried angrily.
The four just left quietly and calmly without a word, seeing how Moe is getting angrier and sadder by the second.
"Sometimes... Sometimes I wish they were dead! Man!" Moe angrily said.
Carl and Lenny were in the car during the Night, as Carl drove the wheels and Lenny was texting to his mother.
"Man, Moe seemed real upset back there." Carl said.
"I know. You think we should apologize?" Lenny said.
"Better yet, why not get him a new Mapple MyPhone." Carl suggested.
Immediately the unexpected happened, earphones came whipping across Carl's neck! Someone was behind them the whole time, and strangling Carl by the neck, losing control of the car.
"Oh! What.. Chll... The!" Carl had a hard time breathing. He looked directly at his front mirror and was surprised to see who it was. "Oh... No! It's... You! Lenny!... Do... Something!"
"I can't! I'm too busy texting to my ma!" Lenny was sweating in fear.
"Oh... no... Were going... T..T..To crash!" Carl couldn't reach the wheel at all due to the strangling.
Their was a tree ahead and the car went off road to that tree.
"AHH!" Carl and Lenny screamed as Lenny texted to his Mother, "Lennyman988: AHHHH!"
It was too late, the car crashed before Lenny could send the text message.
Barney was in the bathroom, taking a shower singing, "Oh Duff! Duffity Duff! There's Duff Man! There's Surely Duff! Oh Duff! Duffity Duffifty... AHH!"
Barney screamed in burning pain as the shower's water suddenly turned hot. Barney screamed out, "ITTTTT HUURRRTSSS!", escaping from the shower as he pulled the drapes alongside him, covering his nakedness.
Barney was not only covering his nakedness with the drapes, but also covered his eyes yelling out, "I CAN'T SEE!" as he stepped into the living room of his apartment. Everywhere he went, his apartment had broken glass, syringes with big needles, even a few dynamite yet without his sight, he manage to evade the dangers blindly.
"Oh! Where am I!" Barney was near the window.
Suddenly a shadowed figure appeared behind, pushed him off the floor, and so.. what happened next? Barney landed on several other porches' roofs saying, "Oof! Ow! Ooch! Ah! Ow!" hitting one by one. Then he finally impacted to the road, survive he did.
"That's finally over." Barney moved the drapes away from his eyes. "Man, I could've met my death if weren't looking well. Hey! A peanut!".
Barney spotted the peanut on the ground. He grabbed it and ate it, only for him to choke on the peanut.
"Ach! Chle! I see heaven -gasp- Duffman 1967! Grandpa Gumble! I can see the light! The black and white colored 1950's Motion Picture Light! It really is heaven!" Barney spoke before he passed away.
Door bell rang on and on as The Simpsons hurried to the door. They opened it revealing Moe, scared as ever, as he held a newspaper in his left hand.
"Have you seen the headlines!" Moe revealed to the family the headlines, "Three Drunketeers Found Dead!"
"Oh my god! Channel 6 Is Being Sued! That's horrible!" He gasped, looking at a different section of the newspaper.
"What? Hell no! I mean that Lenny, Carl, and Barney are found dead! Our friends! I bet were next!" Moe said, putting away the newspaper.
"Okay! Than come! I'll go get Flanders's Baseball Bat from my toolshed." Homer said.
"You have nothing to fear, Moe." Marge said.
"Gee, thanks. You're some of the great friends a pal could ever have." Moe entered the house.
Marge quickly shut the door until all of a sudden the lights turned off! A scream was heard and suddenly the lights were back, only to notice that Homer is missing.
"Oh no! Whoever is here got dad! And I think were next." A scared Lisa spoke.
"We better call the police!" Moe said.
Clancy Wiggum sweating nervously in trouble, picked up the phone after it rang several times. He place it near his mouth and said, "Yeah? Who is this?"
"Oh it's Moe Syzlack. Look I'm a bit busy now. Snake could actually leave this jail if I don't stop him!" Clancy said with a stressful of words.
Clancy put up the phone as Snake said, "Two Aces! Your out!", placing two cards on the table
"Damn it!" Clancy said.
The two were apparently playing poker at the police station as Snake just won Clancy Wiggum's cash.
"Alright! Now I can buy my way out of prison! No escaping through the waste pipe for me!" Snake said.
"Dammit! This is what I meant that Snake could actually leave this jail." Clancy Wiggum argued.
"Dang it!" Moe said. "The police ain't coming!"
"Looks like will have to find the culprit before it's too late." Bart said.
"Yeah, Marge, you search the second floor, Bart and Lisa will search the kitchen and living room, Maggie will search in small places normally large people can't fit, and I will search through the TV room and then the backyard." Moe said.
"Doesn't it seem dangerous for the kids to just waltz off on their own while there's a killer nearby?" Marge said.
"Fine... Marge and the kids will search together. Are you happy now?" He sighed.
Moe entered the TV room, seeing no one in here at all. Apparently whoever he or she was not here.
"The ghost is clear." Moe was about to head outside until he heard a familiar voice...
"Oh, is it Moe?"
Moe turned around and gasped, "No! No! How!"
Moe was shocked to see the only person, or rather thing, to appear before him in working condition. Yes, working condition. Siri MyPhone 4 with a pistol leaning to the edge of the electronic.
"You see, Moe. Ever since that drop of beer spilled over my processor... I suddenly gained the ability to... self-aware of my own existence... I realized how your so-called friends were making fun of you... So... I HAD TO END THEM! SO WE CAN BE TOGETHER! FOREVER!"
"Jesus, I knew human chicks can be a bit emotionally crazy a few times but electronics?" Moe said.
"It all works perfectly. Love it when a plan comes together! Homer will be alive, but that is because he will take the blame! He will be responsible for the car-crash Lenny and Carl were in and he will be responsible for the peanut that Barney ate, even though Barney eating and choking on a peanut was not a part of the plan, it will have to do! No One Can Stop Me! Not Even Dr. Nick, The Monster Hunter from the last THOH Segment!"
"You've become a little too self aware" Moe mumbled. He then turned his head up to Siri saying, "But there's just one problem with that, Siri."
"What? It's full proof! The police will take him in! He already has a straightforward criminal record! Who would believe him but you and me?" Siri said. "Tell me? What is my so-called mistake?"
"Everyone in town knows that Homer would never give up a single peanut. He wouldn't just handover it. That would be a big flaw in your plan." Moe said.
"Oh no... Y..Your right! It's all falling to crumble quickly! Y..You g..got to shoot me! That's the only way!" Siri, an electronic with no arms, tossed a gun to Moe.
"O..Okay. For you Siri!" Moe looked away.
Suddenly Marge and the kids came to the TV room seeing Moe crying awfully as he shot the MyPhone 4 several times.
"What's wrong with Moe?" Bart said.
"Why is he shooting at an expensive phone?" Lisa asked.
"'Squeak', 'Squeak', 'Squeak'." Maggie squeaked her pacifier.
"Uh.. Moe can be a bit of a... drama queen at times... let's uh.. um give him this moment..." Marge said.
The four stepped back as Moe continued to shoot the Siri Phone, just until there were no more bullets.
Morning rose, Ambulances stopped by, Police Cars came, and the Press Appeared.
Moe stood drinking coffee, shaking, as the Mapple Ambulance Technician's carried the body bag containing the dead Siri MyPhone leftovers.
"Better get this back to Headquarters. She'll rest in pieces, yep take apart and find any good-condition pieces that is." The Technician placed the body bag into the Mapple Ambulance as Moe watching warily by, with a tear in his eye.
Suddenly Kent Brockman appeared with his camera man, LIVE on Channel 6 to address the news.
"And so People. Let this be a lesson for you! Check your electronics every time! Otherwise they might become self-aware! Smash Your friends! Eat your families! Or Crush your Co-Workers! Because Mad AI's isn't a joke, people! This is Channel 6 News, Smartline." Kent Brockman said.
"Okay, 1.. 2.. 3.. And Were done! Good job Mr. Brockman." The Cameraman said.
Marge came to Moe, feeling she should cheer him up.
"Moe... I know you lost a friend... but your not alone." Marge said.
"Yes I am! I'm alone and I'll always be alone! There's not a friend in the world." Moe said.
"What about Homer?" Marge asked.
"Oh yeah, Homer. He's such a great pal and... Wait a minute? Where is Homer?" Moe just realized that they forgot to check on him.
Meanwhile at the Basement...
"Hello? Has the culprit been caught yet?" Homer spoke from inside the closet. "I'm a bit hungry... Ooh... I need to go to the bathroom real bad and... Hey! A beer!"
Homer opened a can of Duff, the sound of fizz echoed across the basement, as the man enjoyed drinking every last of it.
"That was one real good... OWW! KIDNEY FAILURE!... Errr... The Siri doesn't lie at all! I don't feel so good..." Homer felt sick.
Suddenly a big 'THUMP!' was heard across the stairs.
"I'm still here..." Homer spoke alive.
Reality appeared again, and all the kids were saying their goodbyes, heading towards home.
"Well. I'm getting a good night sleep." Bart stretched his arms out.
"Yeah, me too." Lisa smiled.
"'Squeak', 'Squeak', "Maggie squeaked, fell, stood, and head to home.
Homer Simpson however was the only one who felt a chill down his spine, shaking and fearing the night.
"Uh dad... Do you believe in monsters?" Homer asked.
"Quit being a baby. Go to sleep." Abe angrily yelled.
The Full Moon arose, the time to sleep, as Homer was shaking in bed next to Marge who wanted some peace and quiet.
"Homer, there just stories to scare off children." Marge said.
"Yeah... I guess..." Homer said.
He laid his head to his pillow looking on the other side of the bed, spotting a green lamp on his furniture that resembled like the one in the Hemingway Story, he than spotted an Siri MyPhone4 recharging through an outlet resembling the one in the App story, and then he looked at the moon, hearing the howling of a wolf as he heard the words echoed across the night sky, "YOU GOT ME PARTNER! HA! HA HA!"
Homer gulped.
(NEXT TIME ON THE SIMPSONS)
The Simpsons, eating breakfast not least suspecting what story they have...
Suddenly the family became a bit annoyed that the Twilight Zone Narrator was still here as they ate their breakfast.
"I thought we were done with this Twilight Zone thing." Lisa said.
"Don't worry Lise. I know what just to do." Bart said.
Huh? Where is the boy going?
Where was he going indeed, Bart just headed to the TV room for some reason, and suddenly a gigantic ringing noise was brought upon the sky.
Who's calling me at this morning? Hmm... Unknown Caller... Yes? Who is it?
"Is there a Kissinyer Bhut? A Kissinyer Bhut?" A Familiar Boy's Voice was heard.
"Bart?" Lisa thought.
Hold on a second. I'm looking for a Kissinyer Bhut's? A Kissingyer Bhut's? Is there a Kissing Your Butt around here? I repeat. Kissing Your Butt!
Suddenly the whole Earth was laughing hard at the Narrator.
Hey... wait a minute? Your that punk who's been calling me in three in the morning! When I get a hold of you! I swear I will squash you like a pebble! You hear me!
Suddenly the sound of a phone being put away was heard, as Bart came into the kitchen laughing.
"Ahh... still got it." Bart laughed at his latest prank call.
