'FUCK IT,' the flash of blue from beside me shrieked. 'PHIL, WHY ARE YOU NOT STOPPING HIM? Where is Phil? What's happened to Phil?'

Oh she's a fan… that lives next door apparently.

Finally, I convinced myself to look across.

The almost luminous blue I'd seen was attached to the girl in the form of very startling hair – pretty hair. She was stood, leaning precariously across the edge of her balcony, her arms outstretched in a sort of grabbing motion… as if she was trying to stop me. She can't, she mustn't!

Her face sort of reminded me of Elle – pale skin, wide, bright eyes that cut through the rest of her features like a gun shot.

'Forget her,' I whispered, dragging my eyes away, forcing myself to concentrate. 'Jump.'

'DON'T YOU DARE, Daniel Howell! Don't you fucking dare jump off that balcony – I will… I will…' she stopped mid-sentence. Even though I wasn't looking, I could almost feel her expression turn from one of panic, to one of deadly solemnity. 'Don't jump… Or I'll jump with you.'

I froze.

No, this wasn't how it was supposed to work! I didn't want to hurt anyone else, I was trying to relieve the pain from both them and me.

'No…' I croaked. 'Let me go.'

'You go – I go with you.'

Phil's POV:

My eyelids fluttered weakly open in a strange, dreamy daze. White daylight stung my eyes and…

DAN. Where was Dan?

He wasn't lying down in the bed anymore – and… there was something stiff – paper – in my fingers. I never remembered reading the letter – I knew Dan had – but I hadn't… I didn't know what it said yet, did I? I remembered begging his silent, emotionless eyes, pleading with him to show me what it said. What could have possibly upset him so much?

I sat up slowly. The paper in my hand, I realised, wasn't the letter; it had my name on it… In Dan's handwriting. My mind went into a panic – what was he doing?

Frenziedly, I un-crumpled the letter and read it, my eyes flashing across the lines in dread. How could I have let myself fall asleep with Dan in this grief-stricken frame of mind?

I read the note, tears of anxiety filling my eyes.

I'm sorry,

I never wanted it to come to this. I can't live with the pain that comes with the truth - I want you to know how much I will always love our friendship – I could never have asked for someone better. I'm scared Phil, I'm so scared.

Tell Mum and Dad I love them – tell them I'm grateful for everything. Tell them… I'm sorry.

I don't want to go, but please don't try and stop me. By the time you get this, I will be gone. Gone somewhere where the pain is more bearable.

You will always be my best friend – I love you.

But I've got to do this.

Dan

In a strange blur of feverish movements, I leaped up, slammed the door open and ran into the corridor.

He was going to die.

He's going to kill himself – what if he's already dead? I don't want him to die!

'DAN, WHERE ARE YOU?' I yelled, my voice rising in a frenzy of panic.

He mustn't die, he mustn't die, he mustn't die –

I ran full-pelt into the lounge, forgetting about everything else – the letter, the note – everything. I had to get to him.

Swivelling my gaze around the room, I noticed everything but the things I wanted to see, the camera, the mac-book , Dan's llama hat – But then I saw it.

The balcony doors were open… Swinging wide open, and… There he was. Standing, half dressed in a sort of blacked out daze on the second railing of the balcony. I forced myself not to scream. He mustn't fall – I couldn't scare him and cause him to lose his balance. The sight of him balancing precariously on the railings made my heart leap into my mouth and I felt my head throb agonizingly.

'Let me fall,' he begged suddenly.

What… Who was he speaking to? He hadn't noticed me yet, surely?

Another voice resonated through the cold air. 'No! Step the fuck off the railings – get down from there, you can't jump!'

It was a girl's voice – a very determined, scared tone resting over her words.

Maybe there was still hope?

I couldn't wait any longer. I ran forward. 'Dan, what the hell are you doing?' I cried. 'Please don't jump!'

Startled, he whipped around and fell from the railings, onto the decking beneath them, on the right side of the balcony; the one that wouldn't end his life. For a second, my mind blanked, but then as a tsunami of relief crashed over me, I seized him in a hug, realising he was crying too. Tears were soaking into my shoulder and I felt my heart descend back into my chest, beating furiously.

'How could you do that to me, Dan?' I whispered. 'Never do that again, you hear me? NEVER do it ever again… Please!'

I felt him cry silently into my shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

Then I realised – I'd forgotten about the girl… Who was she – where was she? I looked across, over Dan's shoulder. She was aged of about twenty and was standing on the balcony along from Dan's and mine, sporting extremely bright blue hair that clashed with the strange look of solemnity that was pressed over her features like a sheet of ice.

She looked scared. Terrified, even.

I nodded to her, silently thanking her for holding up Dan's… suicide attempt. If she hadn't come out onto her balcony at that precise second that Dan had, he would be… dead. His body would be sprawled, lifeless, on the road below. I felt suddenly very weak.

The girl looked across at me, her eyes were riddled with the strangely intense confusion and worry. Our eyes linked for a few seconds, hers making a silent, almost telepathic promise to stay quiet about what had just happened; then she disappeared back inside her flat and I heard the door clunk shut.

I stood there, holding Dan tightly against me, a strange feeling of numb relief flickering over me. He was still crying into my shoulders and I could feel him trembling.

'Don't you ever do that again,' I said, trying to control my shaking voice.

I didn't get a reply.