Chapter Six
It took a while to get the potion just right, but once she had, it was quick work for Aspen to get where she needed to be and put the plan in place.
She had almost made it back to the Fat Lady when she heard the worst sound of all:
"Lockhart! What are you doing out of bed!"
Aspen froze. Can I just- make a break for it? But she knew if they recognized her already, it was too late. And when the prank came to fruition in the morning, she would take the fall for it.
She turned slowly around and forced on a smile. "Hi, Professor Potter. Just- coming back from the loo, is all."
He stared her down sternly. "You wouldn't happen to be returning from the dungeon, would you?"
She paled considerably. Oh, no. What do I do now!? Confess? Play it cool? Pretend to be entirely ignorant-?
"What- what would I be doing down there?"
"Laying the trap suggested by Victoire Weasley," he replied, and she paled further, so that now she would match the moon. But then-
Is his hair turning blue!? Oh- OH. Yes, it's definitely turning- damn you.
The disguise was shed and Teddy Lupin stood grinning before her. "Was I that convincing? You look like you lost all the blood from your face!"
She punched him the gut. "Teddy Lupin, you complete arse! You scared the hell out of me! I thought I was dead for sure! And how did you know about Victoire's trap?"
"She told me," he answered simply. "She wanted to know if it was a good idea before she suggested it to you."
Aspen groaned. "You meddling Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws! Why are you out here looking like that, anyway?"
"I like to walk the halls at night. Professor Potter always goes to sleep early, so no one suspects it's me. If I see anyone, I just say I have to go to the loo, and then I speed away. Works like a charm."
Aspen shook her head. "Positively devious, Lupin. Devious."
He grinned widely. "I know."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, anyway, I am going back to bed now. This midnight excursion has been more than enough for me."
"Goodnight, Lockhart."
He phased back to Professor Potter. She shook her head. "Goodnight, Lupin."
She returned back through the portrait and hurried upstairs. To her luck, Claire was dead asleep, and no one seemed to have noticed her leave. Nice one.
Come morning, Aspen woke, dressed, and moved to the Great Hall, arriving at her usual time. She had worn makeup for once- just foundation under her eyes to hide the evidence of her midnight adventure.
She sat down near the rest of the usual quidditch team, and they began to eat as the other houses filed in- but the Slytherin table remained empty. It continued to be so, and Aspen exchanged a triumphant glance with Jeremy and Zachariah. Aubrey, on Aspen's other side, shook her head.
"You shouldn't have done this one. It's too extravagant."
"What if they poured paint in your hair, Aubrey? You think Sarah enjoyed that?"
Sarah, across from Zachariah, sent a glance their way, her bitterness about the weekend prank evident. Aubrey shrugged. "Alright, fine, fair enough."
They chatted a while longer, and then Professor Zabini stood and left when Slytherin still had not shown up.
The word spread quickly of what had happened; by second period, the entirety of Hogwarts knew.
Through the undetected use of a befuddlement potion released as a gas, the Slytherins had all been quite confused and ended up at the far end of the dungeons, mumbling to themselves and pacing across the same little stretch of hallway. Professor Zabini had to take care of them himself, brewing counter-potions long into the morning. It was noon before the rumor began to spread that it was a well-crafted prank by the Gryffindors, and Teddy Lupin gave Aspen a discreet high-five later in the morning.
During lunch, Victoire Weasley approached Aspen and her collective group- today, that meant Ben, Aubrey, James, and Jazz Carter- and invited them to a party in the Forbidden Forest that Friday, courtesy of the Ravenclaws. She promised it would include bonfires, cocoa, cider, butter-beer, and music. Aspen assured her she'd be there.
It was just before Ancient Runes that Aspen was stopped in the hall by the tall hunky figure of Leviathan Scoundrel.
"Good afternoon, Levi," she greeted him, "I'd much appreciate it if you took those broad shoulders and put them in someone else's face."
He smirked. "Ah, but then I'd lose the glory of talking to you, my dear Aspen."
"Talk and walk," she said, trying to dodge around him.
"I think you can be late for class, just this once."
"I could but I won't. Move or I'll move you." She smiled sweetly, but it dropped when he continued to block her path.
"I need a word with you and I don't need to go to Ancient Runes."
Aspen sighed. "I really don't want to do this, Scoundrel."
His twinkly eyes and broadening smirk were increasingly irritating. "Do what?"
She turned her saccharine-sweet smile to him and withdrew her wand. "Cantis."
Rather uncontrollably, Levi burst into song, and Aspen doubled up the charm with the Leg-Locker Curse and left a singing, stuck Slytherin hopping around the hallway, unable to stop himself. Professor Clearwater appeared then and sent sharp scoldings to Levi as Aspen ducked triumphantly into Ancient Runes.
However, the matter wasn't finished; Crystal Rousseau approached Aspen after Charms to inform her Levi was looking for her. Aspen's groan and retreat to the Gryffindor common room didn't stop his advances, either- not twenty minutes had passed before the portrait of the Fat Lady opened and an enchanted paper airplane flew in and repeatedly beaked Aspen's head until she snatched it out of the air and unfolded it.
"What's this?" asked Ben, next to her.
"A steamy love note, perhaps?" suggested Aubrey, grinning from the floor where she sprawled out with her homework. Aspen emitted another emphatic groan as she read the note aloud.
"Hair of red and soul aflame, Caused Professor Clearwater to shriek my name, I ask thee meet me in the Clocktower Courtyard, Please don't let down this humble bard. Signed, Levi Scoundrel."
"Not a steamy love note but a damn quartet!" Aubrey gaped.
"Quatrain," Ben corrected.
"Are you going to go?" Aubrey asked, and Aspen considered. This was the head of the enemy side of the war, and he had been rather demanding she go to meet him. She stomached her irritation and crumpled his note in her fist, tossing it in the fire.
"Better see what the git wants," she said. "It's my duty as a Gryffindor."
"It could be a trap," Ben noted.
Aubrey waggled her eyebrows. "I'd let him trap me."
"Aubrey-" Ben sighed. "I don't even know what to do with you sometimes."
Aubrey shrugged. "That's because you aren't attracted to women, dear Ben."
He threw a shoe at her, but Aspen was debating. "Do you really think it could be a trap?"
"I have an idea," piped a small voice. Aspen looked over in shock, as did the other two fifth-years- none of them had heard Alice Longbottom II appear next to the fireplace. Sure enough, though, her pale face and dark eyes seemed to shine next to the mantle.
"Yes, Alice?" Aubrey's voice was layered with wariness.
"Take a Slytherin with you, or someone Levi would care about. Then if it's a trap lying in wait, they'll get one of their own caught in it, too."
Aspen stared at the small girl by the fire. "That's… Really clever, Alice."
Alice smiled and vanished off into the common room, going to sit with a few other first-years. Aspen raised her eyebrows.
"Very well. I'll see if I can get Tia or a first-year or something."
She stood, and her friends called well-wishes to her as Aspen departed. The red-haired girl stepped out of the portrait and made her way downstairs, down and down the shifting staircases, crossways through Hogwarts' many passages and shortcuts. Finally, she found a Slytherin first-year staring wildly at a door that opened to nothing, and her lips curved up in devious fondness.
"Lost?" She inquired, approaching the first-year. He turned to her hopelessly.
"No! And I don't want help from you! You're a Gryffindor!"
She patted his head of scruffy brown hair. "There, there, now. Come with me or you'll be wandering the castle all night, McGonagall will find you stranded in the trophy room at two in the morning, and you'll lose twenty points from Slytherin house."
He gaped, jaw floundering, and tried to regain his Slytherin pride. "Knowing Gryffindor, you'll lead me all the wrong ways! I'll be stranded!"
"Suit yourself," she shrugged, turning away. "Can't wait to win the House Cup…"
She started to drift further from the first-year, and, finally, a desperate voice squeaked, "Wait! Wait, don't leave me!"
"Come with me, pipsqueak," she invited, laughing. She turned her feet toward the courtyard, one hand on the Slytherin's back as she asked, "Who are you, anyway?"
"Clarence Boot," he answered nervously. "Are you sure this is the right way?"
They were nearly to the courtyard. "Well, that depends, I suppose. Where are you trying to go?"
"I knew it! All Gryffindors are evil!"
Aspen let out a cackling laugh. "Calm down, my dear boy. We're almost to the Clocktower Courtyard, where a Slytherin acquaintance of mine awaits. As a seventh-year, surely he can lead you back to your dormitory."
The boy turned gray-faced in a combination of dread and relief, as if he wasn't sure whether to trust her or not. A smile curved Aspen's lips as they reached the archway, and she stepped through. Immediately, she yanked the boy in front of her.
A flurry of paper airplanes pelted where she had just been standing and began pecking away at the boy, who screamed and desperately wiped them off. A nearby Slytherin attempted to counter-curse the airplanes and send them away and missed a letter in the spell; now, the boy was being mercilessly attacked by paper airplanes, and his whole right arm was swelling in bulging in green pustules.
Aspen clicked her tongue. "Now who would have done that at the sight of me? Quite rude, if you ask me, and now this poor first-year needs a trip to the hospital wing."
Clarence ducked and ran for the castle, the birds chasing him and his arm entirely tumescent at this point. Eloise Flint chased after him, shouting, "Wait! I'm trying to help you!"
Spotting Levi standing dumbfounded, Aspen shook her head and strolled over, arms across her chest. "Now, now, Levi, is that any way to greet a girl you write quatrains about?"
He sighed, looking after the vanished first-year. "Is that any way to treat a first-year?"
She waved offhandedly. "He'll survive. He's new here. It's always like that for first-years. Anyhow- what was so urgent you've taken every possible effort to get me here this evening?"
His eyes twinkled gray in the setting sun's bronze rays. "Go to Hogsmeade with me."
Her brow creased. "What?"
"Go to Hogsmeade with me," he repeated. "I rather respect your ingenuity in pranks and I think we could do well by working together. We'd make an excellent team, Aspen- think about it."
She lifted her chin, meeting his eyes evenly. "No need. My answer is no and will remain such."
She turned on her heel and strode off. She heard a whisper behind her and spun back, aiming and shouting, "Expelliarmus!"
Levi's wand, which had been pointed at her, flew from his hand. Aspen's eyes narrowed.
"Casting a spell on someone whose back is turned is dirty indeed, Scoundrel. Thought you were more respectable than that."
She turned and walked off and returned to the common room.
Back in the circular room, Aubrey was flipping through the most recent issue of Witch Weekly, scowling at the advice columns, while Ben sketched constellations into his arithmancy homework. Aspen snapped her finger in front of him. "Focus- that's not going to get your homework done."
He stuck his tongue out at her and she sat down with a sigh. Aubrey cocked an eyebrow at her. "So, did you two snog?"
Aspen groaned. "He asked me to Hogsmeade."
"Who did?"
The question came from James Potter, reminding Aspen she did, in fact, have a prior engagement for the first Hogsmeade trip. She smiled at him. "Some Slytherin arse."
James' eyes glinted. "Levi Scoundrel, wasn't it?"
Aubrey's grin widened, her tongue poking into her cheek. "Is that jealousy, Potter?"
James reddened. "He doesn't deserve her!"
James vanished back to the couch by the fireplace with Jeremy Wood and Zachariah Jordan. Aubrey laughed in his wake. "He fancies you, Aspen! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because you'd make fun of him for it," Aspen said, poking her tongue out at her friend. "James is so innocent. Thought it would be nice to let the boy catch a break."
"It's too late now," Ben muttered, having stopped three lines of numbers further along his page to doodle Orion. Aspen took his quill and jabbed him with it.
"Stop doodling! Do your homework!"
"Stop doodling!" He mocked. "Do your homework!"
"Insufferable, really," she said, shaking her head. Clementine appeared at their table before the situation could escalate further.
"I have the first draft for the paper; want a look?"
"Definitely!"
Aspen left her two wayward friends to look over the paper. It talked about Marcie's BTBSS as the main story, and included an article about the Prank War under the heading "Hogwarts Happenings", and Aspen's sports article. A thinkpiece penned by Teddy Lupin discussed the merits of appearance and style (which Aspen considered a bit cheap coming from a metamorphagus).
Aspen heartily approved of the paper and told Clementine so, and then headed off to do her actual homework, rather than slacking forever. Ben joined her in being productive, since she would nag even more when she was being a good example (rare as that was), and Aubrey sang next to them and doodled on their papers.
The day dwindled to evening and they went downstairs for supper. This was when a new rumor circulated the Great Hall- that Hana Rhee, Ravenclaw fourth year, had a massive crush on Professor Potter. James didn't appreciate this, but Aspen laughed merrily as Aubrey narrated potential scenarios.
"Hey, Gryffindor!" Jeremy Wood called down the table as dessert appeared, "Here's to having the most smashing head of house! Even Ravenclaws can't resist!"
"Here, here!" called back a laughing Gryffindor house, making other tables turn in curiosity.
"I heard that!" Crystal Rousseau called from Slytherin table, "And I disagree!"
Aspen saw alarm on Professor Clearwater's eyes, and it worsened when Levi Scoundrel added, "Lockhart! We can end this war! Together!"
"In your dreams, Scoundrel! And only in your dreams!" Aspen called back.
"They're jealous!" Jeremy declared, pointing at the Slytherin table.
"What about a bunch of dusty old cats is there for us to be jealous of?" Jane Nott of Slytherin countered.
"Oi! At least we're not snakes!" Zachariah Jordan shouted.
Heather Rosier stood at the Slytherin table. "No- but you're scared of them!"
Shouting broke out amid the Great Hall, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff ducking low as food began to fly. Ezra Rosier, Head Boy, could be heard trying to silence and calm his house, while Esme Clearwater and Claire MacMillan called shrilly for the Gryffindors to settle down.
A thunderous shriek blew through the room: "Silence, at once!"
Quiet fell across all houses, Gryffindors and Slytherins sitting immediately, bread-rolls and chicken legs dropped to the table. McGonagall raked her dark eyes across them all.
"What behavior is this!?" She demanded. "Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, please return to your Common Rooms. I apologize about your dessert, but I must speak with Gryffindor and Slytherin only." The two houses filed out as the rest of the room waited in bated silence for their sentence. Once only red and green remained, McGonagall said, "Now, I will have all of you shake hands with the opposite house and then clean this mess! Now!"
There was a quick scuffle as the houses rushed for each other. Aspen was half-thrown into Ezra Rosier and thrust her hand into his, shaking it and moving through the Slytherin crowd, shaking faceless hands. One hand grabbed hers and pulled her to a firm chest. She looked up to see Levi.
"Go on a date with me," he said.
"Persistence isn't cute," she replied, pulling away.
The crowd dispersed, separating to opposite sides of the room and setting about cleaning.
"And no using magic!" McGonagall added, to the collective groan of all assembled students. Aspen was tempted to slide her wand in her sleeve and use it for just a bit of help, but even she knew better than to chance the wrath of McGonagall.
The whole time they cleaned, McGonagall lectured them. The other professors had left already. Aspen didn't catch all of the speech; she intentionally shut out a lot of it in response to the chill in McGonagall's voice.
Honestly- I don't know what's gotten into you lot! I am severely disappointed!
If either Slytherin or Gryffindor is under the impression they are impressing somebody, they should be corrected now!
And it only kept going.
By the time McGonagall had the prefects escort their houses back to their dorms, all heads hung with shame, and not even Jeremy Wood or Aspen could muster some Gryffindor pride to straighten their shoulders.
