Yeah yeah, we know we said that the last chapter was going to be the SECOND last chapter before we took a two week break, but we got lazy and just watched a movie instead of writing. Deal with it.

Anyway, as usual, we do not mean to offend any of our readers in any way with what we write. It's all just for shits and giggles.

If you do have a problem with a comment we made, or would like to tell us that the chapters should be longer *cough* Rebecca *cough* (Yes bitch, I'm calling you out) then please write it one a note, fold it up, and very kindly and as viciously as possible, shove it up your ass. Don't get me wrong, we love our readers and everyone who comments. We take the good and the bad with a running start. But if you're being a spoiled bitch *cough* Rebecca *cough* or a grammar Nazi or just plain stupid, do me and R and everyone else a favourand pipe the fuck down.

-This obnoxious and rude opinion rant is brought to you by Canadians :D

Anyway, here's another chapter about fake gays and stuff

JACE, HANDS OFF HER ASS

Clary spooned more oatmeal into her mouth, staring down at the Taki's menu, trying to decide what she should get for dessert. Because dessert deserves to be after every meal. Clary thought, dreaming of chocolate lava cake and ice cream sundaes. With chocolate sauce, and whipped cream, and caramel sauce, and chocolate chips, and sprinkles, and banana slices, and raw cookie dough chunks, and a big, juicy cherr-

"Oh, would you stop pouting already?" Jace said, interrupting her beautiful inner monologue, leaning over the table to grab the salt shaker, and dumping it over his eggs.

"She has every right to be upset," Isabelle said, delicately wiping the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "That was a beautiful dress that Max ruined. And may I add there is also a beautiful restaurant that we are not allowed back into. Ever."

"Oh, come on," Alec said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure you could go back in a few weeks."

Isabelle shook her head at her brother. "They took our pictures. They took mug shots of us! All because of that stupid little kid."

"Give him a break! He's seventeen. Boys will be boys. It's not his fault he can't control himself!" Jace said, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"It's easy for you to say that when you didn't have to walk out of there in a dress covered in…" Clary shivered, dropping her spoon on the table and curling up in a ball on the booth bench.

"I still don't see why you had to throw out the dress," Alec muttered.

Isabelle dropped the fork, getting ready to lay shit out for Alec. "It was a black dress, Alec. There was no way I would be able to get white stains out of a black dress."

Alec just rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you could rub it out-"

"Stop, stop, stop, don't use that word around me! Don't you ever say that word with me in the room again!" Clary covered her ears and began rocking back and forth in her seat.

"What," Alec cocked an eyebrow. "You don't like it when I say rub?"

Clary squealed, pulling herself into a tighter ball, leaning into Jace's side as though she could use him as a human shield against the awful rubbing.

"Alec, stop picking on Clary," Jace said, wrapping his arm around the tiny redhead. "Max just spilled some clam chowder on her, everyone calm down and get over it already."

"Yeah, but he spilled it on her boob," Isabelle pointed out. "then tried, very hard, to rub it out!"

Clary whimpered.

As though her pain reminded Jace of something important, Jace suddenly pushed Clary away and stood up. "I almost forgot! We have baby yoga in twenty minutes!"

Alec sunk into his chair, clearly hoping Jace would have forgotten. He leaned over to his sister. "Wait, Isabelle, wasn't I supposed to hang out with Max in twenty minutes… Exactly twenty minutes?"

Isabelle tried to hide her smirk behind her napkin.

"Or, don't we have that thing that we were supposed to go to?" Alec pleaded.

"What thing?" Isabelle asked.

"You know, that thing."

"OOOOOOOHHHH, that thing," Isabelle winked at her brother. "No, I canceled that thing. And don't worry, I can occupy Max for a while. Now you're all free to go and spend time with Jace and Clary. I know how much you were sssooo looking forward to baby yoga." Isabelle stood up and left before another word could be said.

Jace fist pumped, grabbed Clary by the wrist and started walking out with her in tow, calling for Alec to follow. Alec groaned in protest, standing up and dragged himself out the door.

OoOoOoO

"Hi everyone," the yoga instructor said, smiling even bigger, making Clary think that her face was going to crack in half. "My name is Lana Doobie, and I'm here to help you and your partner find inner peace and zen, so that you can both bring your wonderful babies into this zenful world so that they too can find their zen."

"What the fuck do you think she smokes?" Alec asked, leaning forward to see around Clary, talking to Jace; who wasn't paying any attention to anything but the instructor.

Clary snorted. "I don't know but whatever it is, that must be some good shit."

"It's not even Mary Jane at this point," Alec muttered through his smirk. "It's just full out shrooms!"

The two giggled like children, until Alec suddenly sobered, as though he was just remembering something, and turned away.

Instructor Doobie told all the women to stand up and start doing some standard squats, and asked their partners to cheer them on. All the women stood on their mats, squatting, while their husbands and boyfriends encouraged them half-heartedly across the room.

Jace went to stand behind Clary. "Is this really necessary?" She asked.

"Yes. Here, let me help. You're doing it wrong." Jace put one hand on her shoulder and the other on the back of her thigh. Being touched like this made Clary a bit uncomfortable, but she reminded herself Jace was just being nice. He and Alec were severely gay for each other.

"Look at this," Instructor Lana said, looking over at Jace and Clary. "These two are the perfect team. Look how they fit together like Yin and Yang. Your zens really complement each other," she smiled wider, which was a bit creepy.

Clary blushed, but Jace smiled. "Thanks," he said, his hand sliding up Clary's thigh.

"Hey," Alec called from across the room. "Jace, hands off her ass!"

Jace looked bashful as he lowered his hand to behind Clary's knee, so he was crouching. "Sorry," he said, almost blushing.

"It's fine," Clary said reassuringly. "It's not like you're a pervert. You're gay."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, yeeaaah…" Jace's awkward smile widened.

When the class was over, Jace said a smiley goodbye to the even more smiley instructor Lana. He led the trio out the door with an enthusiastic kick in his step. "Wasn't that great?" He asked the others.

Clary and Alec only grunted.

So we hope you liked the chapter. Please leave us reviews on what you liked and what we can improve so we know how to make this story better in the future :)

Also, about an anonymous source *cough* Rebecca *cough* saying that our chapters are too short; our chapters are all roughly 1000 words (except for chapter 2, which was 2000)

We could make the chapters longer, but with the way we have things planned out, we would have to cut the amount of chapters in half and it would take us twice the time to write. We like the length and pace we are at now. So please, pipe the fuck down.

xoxo

-R & A