"Are you still sure Kenji was a human, Ben?"
"What the fuck are you talking about Keine?"
"Well from what you said, you're pretty confident that you killed him."
"Yeah, he was pretty fucking dead when I finished with him."
"If that's the case, how is he still killing people?"
"I-"
Fuck, she's right. He was definitely dead, so how's he back now?
"You saying he's a youkai?"
"I think Keine's on to something," Momiji says. "If he was human, we would have been dead for good. But for a youkai…"
"It'd be nothing," Aya says. "Hell, I've been there plenty of times."
"No kidding," Momi says, rolling her eyes. "Every once in a while she fucks up a dive and spears a mountain at Mach 3."
"Even if he is a youkai," Keine says, "he's not hunting like any youkai I've ever heard of. Perhaps I should give Miss Hakurei a call and get her and her witch friend canvassing the forests."
"Oh fuck, anything but that."
"Ben, forgive me, but you seem new to Gensokyo. You should know that Reimu Hakurei is one of the most reliable humans around."
"Maybe, but this is-" Shit, I almost said too much again. Actually, forget it. Keine's probably the most pro-human person in Gensokyo. She'd be a good ally.
"I-Listen. Let's go inside, ok?"
"Sure."
Damn. This was hard the last time I tried to explain it. Here's hoping this goes a bit better.
"What I'm about to say doesn't leave this room, alright Keine?"
"Um, I suppose so?" She turns to the tengu for clarification. Momiji nods, while Aya winks and zips her mouth shut. Apparently convinced that what I'm not talking out my ass, she turns back to face me and says "alright, I'm listening."
"Ok, so here's the deal. You know how Gensokyo is hidden from the outside world?"
"Yes?"
"Well, it's not. People know about it, me included. We can't directly see anything so information is spotty, but there's a lot of discussion about what is known. And from everything I've heard about Reimu and Marisa they'd fuck this up big-time. Most of what they do is go around beating people up until they find one they're looking for, beating them up, and then have tea with them, am I wrong?"
"Well, I suppose not."
"That's not what we're dealing with here. The guy we're after is a violent psychopath who's targeting humans and youkai alike. He's able to move undetected and has access to some deadly weapons. If they go in with the mindset they usually have, they're dead."
"Shouldn't I at least warn Reimu of the danger?"
"I, uh, sure. But if it sounds like she's about to run after him, have her call me. Number's 454-553-3446."
"What makes you think she'd listen to you over me?"
"Call it a hunch but I'd bet that she'd listen to a human more than a were-hakutaku."
Keine crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow at me.
"Just so I'm clear: exactly how detailed is your information? How much do you know about me?"
"That depends. Is Fujiwara no Mokou your girlfriend?"
Methinks Keine didn't see this coming. Instead of responding, she just stands there like a deer in the headlights. Well, hakutaku in the headlights but you get the idea. After a few seconds she starts blushing like someone just exposed her most embarrassing secret. Which makes sense because I think I just did exactly that. Oops!
"W-we-well, n-no. I-I mean, not really. I mean, we're really good friends but I never said how I felt about her. She acts mean, but she's really nice and cool and-"
Holy crap, I knew it! All the Mokou X Kaguya shippers out there can suck my-oh fuck Aya's writing something in her notebook.
"Aya, what are you writing?"
"Oh, nothing" she says, winking at me. Fuck, she's probably going to write some embarrassing piece in her paper. I can see the headline now: "Local Schoolteacher has the Hots for Hot Immortal Girl." It'd be like middle school all over again. And she would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling kid and his stupid dog! Er, white wolf tengu.
"Keine, before you get too love-struck you might want to deal with this crow," Momiji says, pointing her thumb at Aya. Upon recognizing an impending cluster-fuck Keine rushes Aya and grabs her by the collar, causing the crow tengu to drop her pen and notebook.
"L-l-listen A-Aya, if you put this in your paper I swear I'll head-butt you so hard that-"
"Ayayayaya! Calm down! I'm not going to publish anything. Yet."
"Yet?"
"Well, yeah! After the wedding I'll do a big story. I'm thinking it'll be front page news: 'Local Schoolteacher and Hot Immortal Girl Wed.'"
"W-wedding? B-but how can we-"
Aaaand Keine's face has reached #FF0000. And I've spent too much time on my computer.
"Don't worry about getting together. I can help you out with that!"
"R-really? You can do that Aya?" Keine releases Aya, who immediately picks her notebook back up.
"But of course! I'm an expert matchmaker. Hell, I got Momi and the Newbie over there together!"
Momiji and I instinctively look at each other.
"You want at her kid?"
"Nah, you can have her."
"Ayaya, see what I-*HURK*"
I must say, that was a textbook elbow to the throat. I think we'll get a few minutes of quiet if tengu throats are anything like human ones. I remember as a kid I once took a fastball to the windpipe during a ballgame. I wasn't doing much talking for a while after that.
"Anyway, do you have any more doubts about my information?"
Keine, whose face has about turned back to normal, shakes her head and says "no, I suppose not. If you know as much about others as you do about, um, me then that'll make the investigation easier. Where are you planning to go from here?"
"I don't know about you," Momiji says, "but I think we should go talk to that rich vampire chick."
"Remilia Scarlet?"
"Yeah, her. This fucker we're after is sounding more and more like a vampire, and they're all loyal to each other. If a weak vampire showed up at her door, I bet she'd take him in."
"That sounds like a good idea," I say. "While we're there I'd like to talk to some of the other residents at her mansion. I've always heard one of them is a weapons expert. They might give us a lead on the bullets."
"Really? In that case, you three should probably head out there. I'll try to get the guards to calm down, but go ahead and call ahead if you come back."
"Alright Keine. I'll be in touch. Ben, Aya, lets head out. The vampire's mansion is out by Misty Lake, right?"
"*HRKES*"
"I think Aya means 'yes'. And I also think you crushed her windpipe."
"Oh, she's fine. I just crushed her larynx. This should give us a few minutes of peace and quiet."
One flight montage later…
"Halt! State your business!"
That voice comes from a girl at the entrance to the vampire's mansion. She's at least six feet tall, with braided red hair flowing down to her waist. Upon seeing us she took a fighting stance, with her green Chinese-style dress reveals her luscious thighs and-NOPE NOPE NOPE. Calm down man. Just imagine the Supreme Court justices naked…and we're good. Anyway, looking at the girl I can only think one thing: holy fuck, Hong Meiling's awake.
The mansion looks nothing like any other building I've seen in Gensokyo. The estate must cover several acres, with many gardens and vast lawns. The building itself reminds me of a gothic cathedral with numerous stained-glass windows and stone arches. Around the edge of the property is a ten foot brick wall, with a wrought iron gate covering the only gap. A clock tower, er, towers over the building, the clock face covered in intricate designs and roman numerals. I check the time against my watch, and it's just what I thought: Gensokyo isn't on US Central time.
"Hey there China!" Aya shouts, making up for lost time with her now-working vocal chords. "We're here to talk to Remi about-*hurk*!"
Another well-placed blow to Aya's throat, this one from Meiling's fist. Unlike after Momiji's hit, Aya falls to the ground and stops moving. A small trail of blood starts leaking from the side of her mouth.
"What the-"
"Calm down, kid," Momiji says, rubbing her forehead with her hand. "She's a youkai. Even if that hit kills her she'll be back soon enough." She turns to face Meiling. "I would be mad at you, but that crow needs to learn to shut up from time to time."
"Damn right she does. My reputation still hasn't recovered since she wrote that article about me. Dammit, I have NEVER slept on the job!" I'm not sure who she directed this at, or if it's just Meiling venting steam.
"I'm sure you haven't," I say. I'm actually sure she has but now's not the time to bring it up. "We need to Ms. Scarlet."
"Not happening!" Meiling yells. "No one gets in to see the Mistress! Not no one, not no how!"
"Listen," Momiji says, "I know you take your guard job seriously, Miss…uh…"
"Meiling. Hong Meiling."
"…Miss Meiling. I'm a guard too, of sorts. I run security for the tengu village. And we're here on behalf of the village to talk to Remilia Scarlet."
"What kind of business do the tengu have with the Mistress? And why is this human with you?"
"I'm from the Outside World. I'm helping the tengu track a suspect who has killed at least seven humans and sealed three tengu."
"Just what the hell does that have to do with the Mistress?"
"We believe the killer we're looking for might me a vampire," Momiji says.
"So what?! You think that the mistr-"
*SHRK*
Knives are sneaky little critters. You never know where one's going to pop up. Like in the back of Meiling's neck for instance. Once it appears she falls forward and lands face first on the ground. I'm guessing that was her 'off' button.
"Meiling," an unseen woman says, "we've talked about this yelling. The Mistress finds it extremely distracting when she's trying to enjoy her tea."
The woman walks up to the gate at unlocks it. She has silver hair braided with green bows at the ends. She's in a blue dress with a white apron and a white headdress. She walks over to Meiling and pulls the knife out of the guard's neck, and wipes it clean on her apron before pocketing it. She then turns to greet me and Momiji, giving us a slight bow.
"I'm terribly sorry about that," she says. "She's been a bit…energetic lately. I hope she didn't cause you too much trouble."
She just killed Aya, but I can't exactly blame her for that. S'all good.
"I am Sakuya Izayoi, head Maid here at the Scarlet Devil Mansion." She cocks her head to look at Aya. "I assume you two are friends of Miss Shameimaru there?"
"Yeah. I'm Momiji Inubashiri, Chief of Police for the Tengu Village."
"I'm Ben. I'm an Outsider helping the tengu with an investigation."
"What type of investigation would that be?"
"We're trying to track down a serial killer. He's killed seven humans and sealed three tengu. We think the killer may be a vampire."
Sakuya crosses her arms. "Did you come here to accuse the Mistress? Because I can assure you that she has never harmed any tengu."
"We're not here to accuse Remilia of anything," I say. "We merely came here because we thought that she might be able to offer some insight on the case."
After a moment's pause Sakuya says "that seems fair. I'll bring you both to the Mistress." She turns and starts walking back towards the mansion. She pauses over Meiling's body to say "darling, when Miss Shameimaru comes to tell her to come inside." The then continues walking.
"How can she hear anything?" I ask. "Didn't you kill her?"
"What? Oh my, no. I merely severed her spine. She's paralyzed, but she can still hear me."
"Well shit," Momiji says. "Remind me not to piss you off."
"That is generally advisable."
The interior of the mansion is just as extravagant as the exterior. The floors have a deep red carpet on them, and the walls are a soft brown with what looks like gold leaf along the edges. Every twenty feet or so a painting hangs at eye level. I see at least a dozen fairies, all dressed in blue maid outfits, running around doing various maid-related things. After making a few turns and going up a flight of stairs, we arrive at a set of glass doors leading to a large covered stone balcony outside. Sakyua opens one of the doors and leans outside.
"Mistress," she says, "there are two guests here to see you."
"Tell them to come sit down," a girl's voice responds.
Sakyua leans back in and waves us through. On the balcony is a large circular table with four chairs around it, one of which holds a light-blue-haired girl. With large red eyes and bat wings protruding from her back there's no doubt: she is definitely the Scarlet Devil. Momiji and I take seats across from her. The table itself has a white lace tablecloth covering it and several silver platters of fruit, including a large watermelon.
"Sakuya," she says to the maid, "bring our guests some teacups."
"Certainly, Mistress." Sakuya bows and heads back inside.
"So," Remilia asks, "to what do I owe the pleasure of having unexpected guests?"
"I'm Momiji Inubashiri, Chief of Police for the Tengu Village. This is Ben. He's an Outsider helping with an investigation."
"And what sort of investigation would that be?" Remilia asks, before picking up her cup and taking a sip.
"Murder," Momiji says. "Someone killed a woman in the human village a few days ago, and sealed three tengu yesterday."
"Oh?" Remilia says nonchalantly. "That's too bad." She takes another sip of tea.
"The killer also killed six humans in the Outside World," I add, "and we have reason to believe that the killer is a vampire." This makes Remilia put down her tea.
"Well," she says, "that's a bit more interesting."
There's a knock on the door.
"Mistress, another guest has arrived." Then, without saying anything else Sakuya comes out and sets three teacups on the table and fills them. She then moves the Remilia's side, revealing Aya standing in the doorway. She sits in the empty chair between Momiji and Remilia.
"Sorry I'm late!" she says, talking much more quietly than before.
"Well, I guess getting throat punched to death will do that," I respond. She should be used to it by now. Best as I can tell that's how tengu say hello to each other.
"So the reporter has decided to join us," Remilia says.
"I'm not really reporting right now," Aya responds. "I'm acting as a temporary member of the tengu police force."
"So what exactly is it that you're investigating?" Remilia asks.
"Aya," Momiji says, "show them the crime scene photos."
"Alrighty then!" Aya pulls out her camera and starts hitting buttons on the back. I never got a good look at it before but it looks like it's some sort of digital camera. After finding what she was looking for, Aya hands the camera to Remilia.
"That's the Daiichi family in the Tengu Village. Yesterday morning they were found in their house, killed with some sort of weapon from the Outside World."
"Alright then," Remilia says, handing the camera back to Aya. "What makes you think a vampire did this?"
"Because," Momiji replies, "we believe it to be the same weapon used in another killing a few days before in the Human Village." Aya hits a button and shows me and Momiji the screen. I immediately gag and put my hand over my mouth. It's the human woman's neck, and I wasn't fucking kidding when I said I never wanted to see that again. Seeing my reaction, Aya quickly hands the camera back. The vampire girl raises an eyebrow at the picture. Her maid takes interest too, but doesn't seem shocked by anything.
"Well I can certainly see why you thought it was a vampire," Remilia says. "I must admit, I've never seen anyone feed like this. Was her blood drained?"
"Yes," I say, having regained my composure. "What's more…" I pause and take a deep breath, having to calm myself from thinking about the scene again. "The body hasn't started decomposing yet."
"Might I ask a question of you Ben?" Remilia asks, haughtily smiling and resting her chin on her interlocked hands. I can see her sharp fangs poking out from between her lips.
"Sure, I guess." I take a sip of the tea. Stuff's pretty damn good.
"Why are you helping the tengu with their investigation when this is clearly hard for you? If you're an Outsider then you have no allegiance to the Human Village or the Tengu Village. Gensokyo is a difficult place for a human to acclimate to. Why not run off, shut your eyes, and pretend none of this happened?"
"M-my sister was one of the people this guy killed in the outside world. It was the e-exact same way."
Remilia's face softens for a few seconds.
"I see," she says, before returning to the self-important smile of hers. "Second question: if your sister really was killed like this and you believe a vampire did it, why would you talk me? Aren't you scared seeing a terrifying monster like me?"
"I don't think you're a monster," I say.
I gotta say, I've never seen a face quite like Remilia's. It's a mix of surprise, sadness, confusion, shock, and maybe a bit of elation.
"W-what are you talking about? I'm a vampire! I've almost never met a human that doesn't fear creatures like me that kill them."
"But you almost never kill people."
Remilia's smile turns to a frown, and she gives me that look that people have been giving me when I let on that I know things about them. Then she turns to Sakuya with a childish look of confusion on her face.
"How does an Outsider like him know that?"
"I don't know, Mistress." I can see her reaching into the pocket she put her knives in. "Perhaps I can interrogate him to find the answer."
"That won't be necessary," Momiji says, reaching for her sword. She looks at me as if to ask 'you gonna tell them?' I nod, but I'm not going to tell them the truth.
"Hivemind telepathy," I say.
"Huh?" Remilia asks. "What's that?"
"It's an ability of mine," I answer. "I can tune into people's collective thoughts. That's how I know you almost never kill humans."
"Interesting," Remilia says, her eyes focusing intently on me. "What else can you tell about me?"
"Well," I say, racking my brain for every Remilia Scarlet-related fact, "you're known as the Scarlet Devil. You got that nickname because you're a bit of a messy eater with your blood. You're not a big fan of killing humans, and can be quite sociable with them."
"That's quite true," Remilia says. "I really do like humans, and not just as lunch. I tried everything to get humans to like me. I held parties, I gave advice to royalty, I modeled swimsuits, everything. But all of them were afraid of me. In the end the only one who stayed was Sakuya, but that's just because everyone feared her as much as me."
"Ayayaya, the heck did you do to scare them off? Model in a swimsuit?"
After a few facial twitches, Sakuya responds: "No, that was not the reason. The reason they feared me was I thoroughly enjoyed human blood."
"Indeed she did," Remila says, smiling. "Years ago, she went by the name Elizabeth Báthory."
"No fucking way," I say. "The Blood Countess? The one who killed hundreds of girls and bathed in their blood?"
"It would seem my reputation has endured into the modern era, My Lady."
"Indeed it has Sakuya," Remilia responds before standing up. "You know what? Just for that I'll help you. But first, I have a favor to ask of you Ben."
"Sure," I say. "What can I do for ya?"
Remilia walks around the table and stands behind me. She puts her hands on my shoulders, leans in to my ear and whispers "I'm terribly hungry." Before I can react, Remilia tips the chair on its back and pulls me out before sitting on my waist. I try to push her off but she grabs my wrists and holds them against the ground. Despite her small stature, she's really fucking strong.
"What the fuck?!" Momiji yells. She starts reaching for her sword again, but is restrained by Sakuya, who simply says "I would advise you not to interfere. The Mistress is not going to seriously harm your friend."
"I haven't had fresh blood in a looooong time," Remilia whispers. She starts blushing and breathing heavily leaning forward until our lips are practically touching. I can practically taste her sweet breath. She then moves her head and starts licking the side of my neck. Before I can say anything I feel a sharp pain in my throat, followed by the warmth of her lips. Or maybe that's just the blood. After a few seconds she comes back in front of my face. Her face is covered in blood-red, well, um, blood that starts dripping down on my shirt. For a few seconds neither of us says anything, until I hear a muffled 'tally-ho!' from beneath Remilia. AW FUCK REALLY? Remilia's eyes widen in surprise, and then she smiles and moves her mouth next to my right ear.
"Wow," she whispers, "I didn't realize you would like this that much."
"I don't. One of my rules to live by is 'don't get turned on by things that can kill you.'" That guy is getting out of hand. I'm going to have to really chew him out for this.
*CLICK*
Remilia and I simultaneously look up at Aya, who is taking pictures of us while practically drooling.
"Huh?" she asks. "Why'd you stop?"
"Sakuya-"
"Already on it My Lady."
*SHRK**SHRK**SHRK*
*KATHUD*
"Thank you, Sakuya. Now would you please destroy that camera before she revives?"
"You don't need to do that," Momiji sighs. "I'll delete them."
"You know how to work that device?" Remilia asks, pushing herself up off of me.
"Do you have any idea how many of her pictures I've had to delete?" Momiji presses a few buttons on the camera before setting it down on the table. "So now that you've had…lunch, can we get back to business?"
"Of course! Sakyua, would you please bring me a towel and some bandages for our guest?"
"Yes, My Lady." Sakuya leaves again.
"Looks like the bleeding stopped," Momiji says while holding out her hand. I grab it and pull myself up.
"I think so. I donate blood to hospitals often enough, so I should be fine."
"So," Remilia says, having taken a seat back at the table, "what do you want to know?"
"You said you understood why we thought we were looking for a vampire," I say. "Does that mean he's not one?"
"Correct," Remilia says, leaning against her arms on the table. "A true vampire like myself would only leave small puncture wounds on the neck, like I gave him."
I can't actually see my neck, but I can feel two small holes on the side of my neck. I can also feel extreme shooting pain, because I just poked a fresh stab wound in my neck. Way to go, genius.
"From the pictures you showed me the creature you're looking for isn't a vampire."
"Alright," Momiji asks, "so how many other things are there that drink human blood?"
"Oh, there's plenty. There's the moroi, the varcolac, the pricolici, and a few dozen others. Human blood is one of the richest sources of life energy there is, so there are plenty of species that subsist on it. Oh good, Sakuya is back."
Sakuya is indeed back, this time carrying a dark red towel and a roll of cloth bandages which she sets on the table. She then uses the towel to wipe my blood off Remilia's face.
"Good idea to hide the bloodstains with the red towel," Momiji remarks.
"This towel was white when I bought it," Sakyua says, having finished cleaning Remilia's face. She now takes the bandages and starts wrapping my neck.
"While you're here we have a question for you, Sakuya," I say.
"And what would that be?" She finishes bandaging my neck and puts the roll back on the table.
"When I read what people know about you, 'weapons expert' keeps popping up over and over. The weapon used was from the Outside World, but we believe that someone here in Gensokyo made the ammunition. We're hoping you might know of anyone with the know-how to make the ammo."
"What type of weapon was it, exactly?"
"A handgun," I say, slowly pulling mine out of its holster, "like this one." I hand it to her so she can look at it.
"It is true that I am an expert in many weapons, including guns. I actually have quite a few guns that I practice with from time to time." She hands the gun back to me.
"Really?" Remilia asks. "I never knew that!"
"Sometimes when i finish my work at the mansion, I will go into the forest and practice shooting fairies."
"That sounds cool! I wanna see what this gun does!"
"Ben, do you think you could demonstrate your weapon for the Mistress?"
"I suppose so…" I need to find something to shoot. Aya? Nah, too easy. Momiji? She'd cut my face off if I tried. There's got to be something…ah! That'll do.
"Mind if I borrow this watermelon?"
"But I was going to eat that later!" Remilia whines.
"Don't worry, you'll still be able to eat it. It's just that watermelons are really similar to human heads, so it'll give you an idea of what the gun can do."
"Oooh, show me show me!"
"You might want to stand back and cover your ears." I turn the dial on the gun to 'bullet' and aim it at the unsuspecting melon. I pull the trigger and *BANG*. The melon explodes into a million pieces.
"That was so amazing!" Remilia yells, her voice full of childish glee. "Sakuya, you need to take me with you next time you go fairy hunting!"
"I will do that, My Lady."
"That being done," I say, "back to the matter at hand. Where do you get your bullets, Sakuya?"
"I get them from a human man living in the Forest of Magic. I'm afraid I don't know exactly where he lives, but the magician that introduced me to him should know."
"And who would that be?" Momiji asks.
"Marisa," Sakuya answers. "Marisa Kirisame."
Hello again! What better way to end the year than with a new chapter of Lucid Dream? Getting wasted at a party, obviously, but that's not the point.
Now if you've actually read this far I have a favor to ask you. See, I have absolutely no idea whether my writing is any good. Every time I post a chapter I see a few people fav/follow the story, but I don't know if anyone actually likes it. If you can, put a few sentences in a review. It'll really help!
Meso out.
