Chapter Seven

Amazon Rain Forest, Brazil

It was hot, humid, and miserable. The Allies, Axis Powers, and Bad Friends Trio where treading though the Rain Forest. The mosquitoes were huge and they slapped themselves trying to swat the swarm. They were even more attractive and delectable drenched in sweat.

"UGH!" Ludwig slapped his neck, trying to get that annoying thing buzzing in his ear. He took off his jacket and tied it around his waist.

Feliciano whispered, "don't move, Ludwig…"

Ludwig froze. Feliciano raised his hand near Ludwig's shoulder, but missed the target and instead, struck him.

"Ugh, you Dummkopf! I should've known you don't do anyzing right…"

While Ludwig scolded Feliciano, Kiku was more focused on what was ahead of them.

They had stumbled upon a giant spider web and an even larger spider! Its eight eyes all focused on the Axis Powers.

"RUN!" shouted Feliciano. "I-don't-want-to-be-spider-foooooddd!" He took off, with Kiku and Ludwig right behind him. The spider gave chase!

They ran but Ludwig tripped over an uproot and fell hard to the ground. Kiku looked back and stopped.

"Ludwig!" Kiku ran back to his friend.

Feliciano shouted, "Hey! Wait!"

"Damn…" Ludwig mumbled. He thought this was it as the spider stared at him. I didn't zink it would end like this…being spider-food…he thought.

The spider attempted to start wrapping Ludwig in web-silk, but Kiku jumped in the air towards it!

"Stay down, Germany!" Kiku shouted.

Ludwig watched in amazement as the Japanese man seemed to move in slow-motion and it looked like something out of a Jackie Chan movie as he flew through the air and drew his sword and it reflected the sunlight as he sliced and landed behind the spider, gracefully. He sheathed his sword, standing up as the spider suddenly split in half.

"Vow…" Ludwig found himself saying, as Kiku helped him up and tore the web off of him. "Vhere did you learn zhat?"

"In Japan," Kiku replied.

"AAAAHHHH!" they heard Feliciano scream.

"Italy!" Ludwig ran towards him. When they got there, the blood from their faces drained and they stared in embarrassment.


"Wow…" Antonio froze. The other three came out of the overgrown leaves and brushed themselves off. Gilbert put down his machete.

"My word…" Arthur whispered.

Francis was too overcome with wonder that he just stood there. Gilbert grinned. Finally, they would win both the journal and gem this time. He was frustrated with the forest, but forgot as soon as he saw his efforts yield fruit. And what a beautiful fruit that emerald was! Just a little further…


Meanwhile, the Allies were having a difficult time with monkeys.

"Hey!" cried Alfred. "Come back with my canteen!"

He chased after a monkey, but it escaped as it climbed a tree. "Damn," he mumbled, as he sat down on a rock.

The other two, May-Ling and Ivan, finally caught up to him, and attempted to catch their breath.

"Stupid monkey…" Alfred gestured to the tree, "stole my canteen…"

"I guess they are thirsty, too?" May-Ling coughed, as she placed her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath.

Ivan walked over to her and put his hand gently on her shoulder. "You doing ok?" he smiled.

She pulled her shoulder away and sat down on a fallen tree nearby.

Ivan shrugged and joined them. He leaned against another tree.

"What a great, stupid, ugly forest…" Alfred coughed.

"This is the Amazon Rain Forest!" May-Ling corrected him. "It is in danger of disappearing! You don't appreciate the outdoors, don't you?" she put her pony-tailed-hair into a braid.

"Dude, like I care what it's called…" Alfred wiped his forehead. "I just want to get that jewel and get out of here! It's worse than that stupid mountain…"

"Here, borrowing mine, da?" Ivan handed Alfred his canteen.

Alfred took it, saluted him, thanking him, and took a swing. He tried to swallow, but it wasn't water. He spat it back out. He spoke in a low, weak voice. "What is that?!"

Ivan smiled. "Vodka…" he replied. "It's Russian water. Not good to be wasting…"

"Dude," Alfred coughed and spoke in a regular voice, "I can't have that! I'm thirsty! Like, I need water!"

"Here," May-Ling handed him her canteen.

"Thanks," Alfred opened it and drank from it using gravity. He didn't want to share slobber, either. He closed it and handed it back to her.

"Your confidence in my health is very encouraging…" May-Ling replied, but then they heard a loud roar.

"I wonder what that is?" Ivan stood up straight and looked into the forest in the direction of the sound.

"Whatever it is," Alfred stood up, too. "It doesn't sound good…"

"RUN!" May-Ling got up and ran opposite of the sound into the forest.

Alfred took off after her, and Ivan took out his pistol, waited a few seconds, and then followed them. They breathed heavily and kept running.


"Vhat vas zat?" asked Gilbert. They looked behind them into the forest.

"Whatever it is," replied Arthur, "it's angry…"

"Maybe we should run?" asked Francis.

"Nein," Gilbert shrugged it off and faced forward again. He took out his pistol and continued towards the forest temple.

Francis and Antonio looked at each other, shrugged, and followed him. Arthur rolled his eyes. Why am I stuck with these three? I can think of a million other places I'd rather be… he thought.

Gilbert walked towards the gem. Its sparkling reflected in his crimson eyes. He stepped over a tiled stone floor and was so focused on the gem that he didn't realize he tripped a laser wire and an alarm started buzzing. The others froze and looked around.

"I thought this was an ancient temple!" Arthur shouted over the alarm and rumbling.

"Oui, but you 'ave forgotten it is all set up as ze Challenge!" Francis reminded him.

"Ah, yes, quite right, Chap," Arthur nodded.

The floor under Gilbert crumbled.

"Look out, Amigo!" Antonio cried, reaching out for his friend.

Gilbert jumped to the other side as the floor split in two. He barely made it, and was still hanging on the side. He looked down to see a dark, deep hole below. He thought he saw a skeleton, but was losing his grip, so he pulled himself up and looked over at the others. They were ok, but were surprised at the now torn-in-two floor. Gilbert turned and got up. He took off for the jewel, dodging swinging rams and arrows, as he rolled and tumbled towards the goal.

"He's insane!" Arthur cried. "'e'll never make it!"

"Oui," Francis agreed. "But that's why he'll make it!"

Arthur looked at him. "Never mind…you're all insane…"

Antonio jumped the gap and barely made it, hanging off the ledge. He pulled himself up and ran after Gilbert.

Gilbert hesitated. This was a particularly difficult obstacle. The blades were spinning too fast…. Antonio caught up to him, barely alive, as one of the arrows got his arm.

"Mi Amigo…" he tried to convince him. "Why don't we just let them have this one? We can just take it later, si?"

Gilbert came out of his trance and looked at him. Why didn't he think of that?

"We wait?" he asked.

Gilbert nodded and they got off the platform. Francis and Arthur met them near the entrance.

"That was the craziest thing I've ever seen you do, Mon Ami!" Francis cried. "It was breath-taking…"

"Yes, quite," Arthur said, wiping his forehead. "Jolly good way of dying!"

Gilbert said nothing, he just stood there, breathing heavily, and sweat rolled down his face. He grinned and wiped his cheek. Let zem do ze vork…I like it… he thought.


"Stay still, Feliciano-kun!" Kiku cried. "The more you struggle, the more you sink!"

"Get-me-out-of-here!" Feliciano cried, hyperventilating saying each word.

"Be still!" Ludwig shouted. He grabbed what he thought was a vine. But it moved! He looked at the snake in his hands. "AAHAHHA!" it surprised him more than scare him, but the snake was poisonous!

Kiku drew his grandfather's kantana and swiftly and cleanly cut off its head, and sheathed it smoothly. It happened so fast, it was just a blur. The snake's body was still flinching and jumped around until it stopped and went limp. Ludwig and Feliciano blinked. When was Kiku so calm and cool? Feliciano caught himself blushing.

"Shall we have snake?" Kiku asked, as a slight breeze blew his hair in the wind.

"…ew…" Feliciano mumbled as Ludwig pulled him out of the quicksand.


"AAAHHHH!" May-Ling cried, as the unseen snake by her leg bit her!

"What happened, Dude?" asked Alfred, as he rushed to her. She leaned on him.

"Snake…" she pointed.

Ivan stepped on the snake's head and killed it. Alfred and May-Ling stared at him.

"Put her down over there…" Ivan gestured and instructed. He put his jacket on the ground. Alfred carried her over to the spot and put her down. "Needing to draw out poison, da?"

May-Ling shook her head, slowly. Her breathing increased and she panted, out of shock.

"I do million times," Ivan lied. He pulled her pant leg up, poured his vodka on the bite, cut a small hole in the area, and proceeded to suck out the venom below her knee with his mouth. He turned his head and spat out the venom.

Alfred watched, totally interested. "Cool…but what if she passes out?"

"Keep leg below heart," Ivan replied. "Keep her still…"

"Roger that," Alfred held her shoulder. "Chill, ok, China?" he asked her, trying to keep her distracted.

She swallowed and nodded. But she suddenly lost consciousness.

When she awoke, it was night and the guys had built a fire and Alfred was eating something.

"What happened?" she mumbled, as she sat up. "Ugh," she realized her leg still hurt. She felt her bandaged leg. She smiled. "He saved my life…"

"Hey, Russia," Alfred called to him. "She's awake!" he continued to eat.

Ivan walked back towards them. "I am glad…" he smiled at her. She smiled back.

"Hey, Guys," asked Alfred, interrupting them. "I never asked your names?"

"I am Ivan Braginski," he smiled and bowed his head. "Nice to meeting you."

"Wang," May-Ling nodded. "May-Ling…" they stared in each other's eyes.

"Cool beans, I'm Alfred F. Jones," he smiled and continued eating. "Hey, Ivan…This is good crap…what is it?"

"Monkey…" Ivan smiled, as he looked at him. "I taking first watch, da?" he walked towards Alfred.

Alfred stopped chewing… "…Do you have my canteen?"

Ivan handed him his stolen canteen and he took it and smiled, but then he frowned after he turned it over and realized it was empty. He wasn't sure if the monkey or Ivan had finished it off...he glared at Ivan.


The Bad Trio and Arthur had built a small campfire and decided to rest for the night. Gilbert took the first watch. He was very diligent and awake, anyway.

Francis helped Antonio patch up his arm. "Zhere you go, Mon Ami," he patted his friend's arm.

"Si, gracias," the Spaniard thanked him and sat down next to Arthur.

"What do the bloody 'ell you want?" he asked.

"Nothing," Antonio replied. "I just thought you looked like you needed an amigo." He smiled as he put his arm around the Englishman.

"Well," Arthur admitted. "I 'ave been feeling down these past few-What? No, I'm fine! I'm enjoying splendid isolation!"

"If you insist…" Antonio shrugged and sat down next to the albino man, Gilbert.

"I can keep you company, Mon Ami!" the Frenchman winked as he sat down next to Arthur.

"'ell no! Stay away from me, Frog!" he stood and sat down a few feet away.

Francis shrugged and started to poke at the fire with a stick.

An hour later, Francis, Antonio, and Arthur had fallen asleep. Gilbert narrowed his eyes at a particular spot in the forest. He sat up straight and readied his pistol.

"What is it, Mon Ami?" asked a sleepy Francis.

Gilbert put a finger to his lips and whispered, "Shh…"

Francis slowly turned but something crawled over his hand on the ground. "AAAAHHH!" he screamed as he realized it was a giant, blue cockroach!

Gilbert stepped on it and covered Francis's mouth with his black, leather-gloved hand.

Arthur and Antonio woke from Francis's screams and jolted up.

Gilbert gestured for them to be quiet, too. They nodded. They listened closely to the quiet, but nearby swinging leaves and night sounds. Arthur tried to quickly put out the fire by stepping on it, but Gilbert shook his head. "It is already here," he let go of Francis and stood up, pistol ready.

They looked up to find an anaconda coming right for them! It must've been attracted to the fire. It stood up at least 10 ft! It slithered quickly towards Francis and wrapped around him!

"Help me!" Francis screamed. Gilbert let off a few warning shots but the beast didn't let go.

"Hang on!" Antonio cried.

"Let him go!" Arthur tried hitting it with a stick, but it swung its tail and hit Arthur, sending him into a tree. The pressure from the attack forced him against the tree so hard, it left an indenture and Arthur fell to the ground, the air knocked out of him.

The overgrown snake knocked the gun out of Gilbert's hand and knocked him out. Antonio dived for it just as the snake attempted to swallow Francis whole! He shot it in the eye and mouth, barely missing Francis. It ignored him and continued to swallow Francis!

Antonio watched in horror as his friend was eaten and the other two were not waking up. "NO!" he shouted and ran towards the monster, desperate. It looked like the anaconda was going to have dessert, too!

"Have some jalapenos with your French meal!" Antonio jumped on it and stabbed it with his knife. "Major heartburn, eh?"

The creature roared but hissed again as it attempted to throw Antonio off.

"Just like riding bull back home," the Spaniard laughed and held on for dear life. "But enough about me," his face was serious, "what makes you tick, Senor?"

"Help me!" he heard a muffled Francis cry.

"Working on it, Amigo…" Antonio shouted back to his friend in the snake's stomach. At least he was still alive! Antonio pulled the knife back and stabbed the snake deeply. As the creature roared and squirmed, Antonio used the squirming to his advantage, and the snake cut itself open! Francis spilled out, along with other dead animals.

Antonio rushed to his friend's side. "You 'k?"

Francis coughed and spat out snake guts. "Oui," he breathed. "I thought I was a goner!"

They looked over at the dead anaconda, then at their unconscious friends.

"You saved me?" asked Francis, almost as if he didn't believe it.

Antonio nodded and said, "Si. I did."

Gilbert stirred, shook his head clear, and pushed himself off the ground. He felt his head and looked at them. He nodded. He was ok.

They looked over at Arthur, still on the ground. Francis and Antonio went to check on him, while Gilbert stood up and went to inspect the snake.

"Mi Amigo!" Antonio held Arthur in his arms, trying to wake him.

"Ugh," Arthur stirred. "What the devil was that thing?"

"A demon," Antonio replied. "It was the devil…"

Francis nodded his head.

Gilbert looked at the anaconda and shook his head. How did something so big move so fast and thrive here? He kicked it and examined the contents of its stomach. He knelt down and noticed a book on the ground. It was covered in digestive goo, but he picked it up and shook it off. Then he realized what it was…

"ZE JOURNAL!" he held it up and shouted excitedly, in victory.

"How did-?" Arthur started but Gilbert interrupted him.

He walked over and looked down at him. "Somezing like zat eats anyzing…"

"Even Frenchmen…." Francis mumbled.

Arthur grinned. "Well, at least HE likes your food, Frog!"

"Shut up! My food is ze best in ze world!" Francis barked back.

Gilbert scared them suddenly by reloading his pistol. "Ve sleep in trees…" he told them and swung his pack over his shoulder and started to climb a nearby tree.

"Jolly good plan, Bloke," Arthur got up and followed.

The other two nodded in agreement and climbed other nearby trees.


"Vhat vas zat?" asked Ludwig standing up.

"It sounded like a scream," Kiku commented.

Feliciano still snored. How could he sleep in all this commotion?

"Or an animal…Ready?" asked Ludwig, looking at Kiku.

"Hai," he nodded, and drew his sword, quietly. The moon reflected off his sword and in his eyes.

"Don't shoot! Don't shoot!" cried Alfred, stepping out into the open, arms in surrender in the air. "Just us, Dudes!"

Ivan carried May-Ling, who was asleep.

"Vhat do you vant?" asked Ludwig, annoyed.

Kiku sighed in relief and sheathed his sword.

Feliciano still snoozed.

"Well, safety in numbers and all," Alfred smiled nervously.

"Finek," the German agreed. "But just one night. After zis ve are enemies again, ja?"

"Sure, cool beans, Dude!" Alfred sat down next to Kiku. "'sup, my dawg, Japan?" he put his arm around Kiku's shoulders. However, it was awkward and somewhat forced. Kiku's face grew red and he shoved the American off his spot on the fallen tree. "Please refrain from touching me!" the Japanese man thought Westerners were too touchy.

"Don't try acting all Buddy-Buddy toward us," Ludwig warned. "Und sleep over zhere…" he pointed.

"Right on, my dog!" Alfred saluted him and the Allies moved away a little from the Axis.

"It's goingk to be a long nauct…" Ludwig massaged his temples. He looked back at them. "Vhat's a matter with her?" he crossed his arms.

"Snake bite," Ivan smiled. "No need to worry. I take care of it." He put her down and put a blanket on her.

"SNAKE BITE?!" Feliciano shot up and wept. "My brother-"

"Relax," Kiku reassured him. He didn't realize he put his hand on his shoulder, but drew back. "Sorry I touched you…"

"Vhat ist it?" asked Ludwig, annoyed again.

"My brother," Feliciano started. "Mama was so worried about him joining the army…"

Alfred looked at Ludwig and asked, "Is he always like this?"

"I'm sure he's alright," Ludwig ignored Alfred and reassured Feliciano, as well. "Now go back to sleep…"

Alfred stretched and yawned. He sat down and then lay down on his back. "Sounds good to me…"

Ivan closed his eyes, but slept lightly.

Feliciano mumbled, "he almost died from a snake bite when we were hiking in the woods as boy scouts…"

"Was he alright?" asked Kiku.

"Si. But I don't think I helped much. All I did was scream and pass out…"


The next day, everyone woke up to something cooking.

Ludwig rubbed his eyes and focused on an Italian stirring something in a pot. "Vhat are you cooking, Italy?"

"PASTA!" the Italian's eyes lit up when he shouted his favorite food.

"VHAT?!" the German shot up.

"It rained last night, so I gathered up the water and made a fire! Lookie! ~VE!~"

"It rained?" he looked around at the soaked representatives. They were lucky they didn't catch cold. Maybe the fire was warm enough?

After a pasta breakfast, which was kinda weird, they went their separate ways.

"This doesn't change anything, Allies," Ludwig warned them.

"Agreed!" Ivan nodded. The Allied Forces turned and walked away into the forest.

Ludwig stood there, watching them, arms crossed.

Feliciano waved good-bye. He believed in make pasta, not war.

"What do you think they wanted?" asked Kiku.

"Protection," Ludwig replied, as he turned and walked the opposite path.

"There it is!" cried Alfred.

"The jewel…" Ivan commented.

"Well, Gentlemen," May-Ling asked, pushing from behind them to the front. "Shall we?"

The guys nodded and they headed towards the temple.


The Bad Trio and Arthur were in hiding, waiting. The moment Arthur saw Alfred, he almost burst out of his hiding place behind a tree, but Francis stopped him and shook his head. "Remember," he warned. "You 'are one of us, oui?"

Arthur looked at the Prussian and Gilbert gestured with his thumb and crossed his throat, teeth gritted. If he tried anything, he would kill him.

Arthur gulped and nodded.

"Finally!" Alfred let out a deep inhale.

"Just waiting one moment," Ivan stopped his advance.

"What, Dude? I need to claim this victory for America!"

"How we get across that?" Ivan pointed down to the gap in the ground.

Alfred's glasses slipped down his nose and he adjusted them. "Pst," he waved it off. "That's nothing for me…."

Ivan continued, "America," he said coolly. "You should be doing it. You are the hero, da?" he mocked with a smile.

"S-sure thing, Dude."

May-Ling stood back as Alfred gestured to stand back. "Coca-cool it. Watch this!"

"I no know if I should…" May-Ling covered her eyes, but lifted a few fingers to watch.

"Watch," Ivan stood behind her and took her hands from over her eyes. "Famous last words, da?"

Alfred mentally measured the distance and took off running. "COWABUNGA!" he yelled as he leapt over the gap and just barely made it, hanging on with one hand.

"AMERICA!" yelled Arthur, but Gilbert put his hand over his mouth and pulled him back.

"Quiet, Dummkopf…" he whispered in his ear.

Arthur muffled and nodded.

Ivan and May-Ling reached out for him, but realized they couldn't do anything for him!

Alfred grunted as he pulled himself up, but he lost that part of the floor as it crumbled, and he was forced to hold on with the other hand!

"Pull yourself up!" yelled May-Ling.

"I know…" Alfred mumbled, under his breath. He succeeded this time in pulling himself up. He smiled and waved at them across the gap.

"Don't just stand there! Get the jewel-aru!" May-Ling called, hands cupped over her mouth so he could hear her.

Alfred saluted and turned around to be smacked in the face by Gilbert. Alfred tumbled backward and was once again hanging over the ledge. However, this time was harder as Gilbert tried to step on his hands!

"Dude," Alfred cried. "What's your problem? We just want to prove who's stronger…"

"Vell spoken, American," Gilbert sneered. "My zoughts exactly…"

Francis and Antonio grabbed Ivan and May-Ling from behind.

"Damn," Alfred mumbled. "What do you want?"

"Ze jewel," Gilbert smirked as he finally succeeded in stepping on one of his hands.

Alfred shouted out in pain. He pulled Gilbert by the leg and he fell! But Alfred then realized he had grabbed his leg and was now hanging on Alfred.

May-Ling pulled loose from Francis and kicked him in the shin and ran back into the forest.

Francis hopped on one foot for a few seconds, then put his other foot down. "Feisty little diva, isn't she?"

Ivan just smiled and made Antonio nervous. He tossed Antonio over his shoulder and knocked out Francis. "Two little birdies with one stone…" he smiled and picked up Antonio's knife. He likes knives…

Gilbert attempted to climb over Alfred, as Alfred's grip was slipping. "I'm not about to die wif you, American!"

"Ditto that…except for the American part…German!" Alfred tried shaking him off, but to no avail. "I thought we were Buddies!"

Gilbert stared at him, "Zhat vasn't Buddies! Zhat vas…survival!" He kicked off Alfred.

Alfred slipped again. Gilbert got up in time to see the Chinese woman come out of the forest running and watched her jump from an overhanging branch and grabbed the jewel!

"NEIN!" he shouted and ran towards her.

She swung around the branch twice and landed. She stood up slowly and looked up to come face-to-face with two huge, hairy, familiar Yetis!

"Look out, China!" Alfred yelled from his ledge. He swung his feet up and around and tackled the Prussian.

The monsters gave chase and May-Ling ran! Her breathing and heart rate sped up and she ran through deep, tight overgrown trees and pivoted to the left and kept running as the monsters followed. But she was too quick (being half their size) and they realized too late that there was a cliff and couldn't stop.

The Axis Powers' eyes grew wide as the monsters were too big to stop and pivot so quickly and were heading right for them! One of the monsters had fallen and was still sliding towards them!

"RUN!" yelled Feliciano, and the Axis Powers ran and jumped off the cliff into the sea below! The monsters fell into the water and, unfortunately for them, they couldn't swim.

As the Allies and Axis reunited on the beach, they decided that they had a common enemy. They agreed to an alliance. This one ended in a tie, anyway.